Chapter Twenty-Seven #2
My heart thudded in my chest as Toby shoved protective gear into my hands. We were given black vests, and I saw others with a lighter color. That way you knew which team you were on. There was also a mask with a shield on it.
“I’m going to get shot,” I muttered.
“Yup,” Toby said way too cheerfully. “Repeatedly. But hey, so will I. And it’ll be beautiful.”
“That’s not comforting.”
“It wasn’t meant to be. Now put your helmet on.”
He tightened the strap of the gun for me, his fingers brushing my jaw, making warmth spread beneath my skin.
“You’ll be fine, Cadence,” he murmured. “I’ll cover you. They have to take me down first before I let them touch you.”
The soft promise in his voice calmed me. A little.
We stepped onto the field the moment the horn sounded.
Bright splatters covered the walls from previous rounds, and people darted behind barriers, laughing and shouting.
Today, the place was having an open paintball night.
The rounds were open to teams of eight if there were enough people, and they did rotations for people playing.
There weren’t too many people there, with only a couple people sidelined for the next round.
We were given ten minutes to shoot each other as much as we wanted to for fun.
Toby crouched next to me, his paintball gun in hand. There were a series of beeps and then a louder one, letting us know the match was now underway.
“Okay,” he whispered. “Rule one: don’t stand like a deer in headlights. Rule two: if you see someone aiming at you—”
A paintball whizzed past us, splattering the barrier behind us.
“—uh, yeah, do that.”
I swallowed. “Toby—”
“Shoot them!” he yelled joyfully, a big ass, slightly demented grin stretched across his face as he disappeared into the maze of obstacles.
I peeked around the corner. Someone was running toward me. I panicked, raised the gun, and fired.
I hit him.
“Holy crap,” I whispered, stunned.
I fired again. Almost another hit. My target had ducked behind a barrier just in time, even doing a fancy dive and roll. Okay, this wasn’t so bad.
I moved forward, heart hammering, my breath inside the mask heavy enough that I thought it was going to fog up on me, but it didn’t. Adrenaline buzzed through my limbs. I ducked behind a group of barrels lined up together, feeling like my doom was impending the entire time.
I peeked out and spotted someone across the arena. They were looking off to my right, so I fired off a burst that made them yelp and scramble into hiding.
A laugh bubbled out of me.
“I found you, candy sniper!”
Toby slid in next to me, crouching down low. Paint splatter covered his shoulder and helmet, but by the way his eyes were crinkled, I knew he was grinning beneath his mask.
“You good?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said breathlessly. “Weirdly good.”
“Perfect,” he said, eyes gleaming. “Because we’re going to flank those two idiots over there.”
I followed his gaze. Two heads popped up, taking a look around the field. They’d be perfectly exposed from behind.
“Come on, you love sneaking. It’ll be like that Halloween maze.” Toby nudged me. “You dragged my sorry ass through that thing like you were born for it.”
I snorted. “I can still hear your screaming.”
“A very manly scream.”
“Uh huh.”
“Anyway,” he said, ignoring me entirely. “We’re channeling stealth queen energy. You ready?”
I took a steadying breath, then nodded.
Toby’s eyes narrowed in focus. “Let’s go.”
We stayed low, weaving between obstacles as the arena’s neon lighting flickered across the floor. Toby moved surprisingly quiet for someone who normally crashed through like a puppy on caffeine. Every so often, he glanced back to make sure I was following.
I stayed close, keeping my steps light, breath controlled, heart racing in an exhilarating but also terrifying way.
We approached the two players slowly, using the barriers and their distractions in our favor, listening to the muffled shouts and the pattering of paintballs thudding against obstacles.
Toby held up three fingers. Two. One.
We stood, aimed, and fired.
Two hits. Perfect.
“Yes!” Toby whooped, lifting his gun triumphantly. “We’re unstoppable! Bonnie and Clyde who? Candy and Chaos, baby!”
I laughed as I tugged him to a safe spot before we got hit ourselves. Toby didn’t seem to care, even when someone aimed at us, but thankfully missed.
This was what fun was. What normal was. What feeling alive felt like.
Toby slung an arm around my shoulders and leaned in close. “See? I told you. You’re terrifying when you focus.”
I bumped him lightly with my elbow. “You’re the terrifying one.”
He gasped. “I’m honored you feel that way.”
Another paintball cracked against a nearby barrier, reminding us we were still in a warzone.
Toby straightened. “One more before we run out of time?”
I opened my mouth to answer—
Then—
SMACK!
A paintball slammed into the wall next to my head. It was too close, too fast. The sound it made a little familiar, pulled right out of living nightmares.
My breath stuttered and another shot rang out. And another. The air thinned. My vision tunneled. And the arena faded.
I wasn’t behind a wooden barrier anymore. I was in the hallway. Gunshots exploding off lockers. Ardens shouting. Janice screaming. My lungs burning as we ran.
Then I was in the basement. Tied in place, the dark hole of the gun pointing into my face. The shot that boomed through my ears. The smell. That sharp acridness burning along my throat and lungs. Suddenly, there wasn’t paint and color. There was only darkness and fear.
“Cadence!” Toby’s voice broke through the jumbled memories, distant at first, then closer. Urgent. “Hey. Hey, Cadence. Look at me. Cadence!”
Toby’s voice was sharp, desperate, and filled with fear.
I blinked and the arena snapped back into place in pieces. Neon lights. Paint-splattered walls. The faint chemical scent of the gear. The muffled thumps of paintballs still being fired.
But they didn’t sound the same, not like a real bullet. Not as loud. Not as...deadly.
My lungs tightened painfully.
“Hey, Cadence.” His gloved hands cupped my helmet, forcing my gaze to his. “Look at me. Right here. Stay with me.”
My breaths came shallow, fast, uneven. I couldn’t slow them down. Toby pulled me against him, shielding me with his body as more shots cracked in the distance.
“It’s okay. It’s okay,” he whispered, voice trembling. “You’re safe. You’re with me. They’re paintballs, Cadence. Only paintballs filled with pretty colors.”
I tried to nod, but everything kept tilting. My fingers wouldn’t stop shaking. The helmet suddenly felt too tight, pressing in on my cheeks, wrapping around my neck. Trapping the heat around my face, choking me.
“I—Toby...” My hands shot up, fumbling with the latch. “I can’t— I need it off. I need—”
“Candy, wait. No,” he said quickly, catching my wrists. “Not out here. You’ll get hit. Just—just one more second, okay? One more.”
But the air inside the helmet tasted stale, too hot, too thin. I felt like I was suffocating inside my own skin.
Then the buzzer blared, ending the match.
Before the sound even finished echoing, I tore the latch open and ripped the helmet off, sucking in a gasp so sharp it hurt. Cold air hit my face. My knees nearly buckled with the force of the breath I dragged in.
Toby was already there, hands on my shoulders, guiding me toward the exit.
I heard someone call out, but Toby was the one to respond. I was too busy gulping down air.
“Okay,” Toby murmured, voice raw, cracking slightly. “Okay, Cadence. Breathe. Just focus on breathing, sweetheart. I got you.”
The moment the door shut behind us, muffling the arena noise, the world felt slightly less dangerous. Less sharp and threatening. The chilly air in the hallway brushed my overheated skin through the gear.
Toby didn’t let go as he yanked off his helmet with one hand and tossed it aside before turning me so he could search my face like he was terrified of what he’d find.
He blew out a breath, his shoulders slumping slightly as his eyes shined, looking at me. “Cadence...I’m so fucking stupid.”
My lip trembled. “T-Toby—”
“No.” He shook his head, stepping closer. “No, I should’ve thought. I should’ve remembered. Loud pops, running, being cornered—fuck, I should’ve known better.” His voice cracked at the end, raw and angry. Not at me, but at himself.
I swallowed hard, trying to reach for him, but my hands still shook too much. “Toby.” My voice rasped. “I didn’t know.”
He froze. “What?”
“I didn’t know.” I waved at the arena where another match was already underway. In a whisper, I said, “I didn’t think about it. Not once. I...I forgot paintballs could sound like”—my breath hitched—“like that.” I sunk back against the wall.
Toby’s face twisted, devastated.
He sank to his knees in front of me and took my shaking hands in his, lifting them to his lips for a soft, trembling kiss.
“Candy,” he whispered, “I would never bring you to something like this if I thought it could hurt you. I swear on my fucking soul, I wouldn’t.”
Tears blurred my vision again. “I know. I know that.”
“But it doesn’t matter,” he said, suddenly sounding fierce. “I still did. And you got scared. And...” He exhaled sharply. “I’ll never forgive myself for that.”
I shook my head, tears falling. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I really didn’t know. I didn’t even think about it.”
He leaned forward, resting his forehead against mine, his breath shaky. “You scared the shit out of me,” he said quietly. “You don’t even have to tell me anything. As soon as I saw you like that. I knew. You were back there with Ardens, weren’t you?”
I closed my eyes, leaning into him. His hand tightened around mine. Quietly, I said, “You got me out. You pulled me out. That matters.”
He let out a weak, choked laugh. “I’d drag you out of hell if I had to.”
I sniffed. “That’s dramatic.”
“Yeah, well,” he said, wiping a tear from my cheek with his thumb. “I’d skydive into those fiery pits just for you. I watch enough action movies. I know how to deal with the heat, with exploding things, with armies at my back. I’ve been training in case you ever need me to go to hell for you.”
I wasn’t really sure what to say to that kind of declaration. It was absolutely ridiculous but also heartwarming and very much a Toby thing to say. “You have to skydive to go into hell?” I finally asked, my voice still a little raspy.
“Well, I imagine there’s some kind of falling involved to go so far down.”
Despite everything, a tiny, broken smile tugged at my lips. Toby exhaled like he’d been on the edge of his own panic attack until I finally smiled and he was able to relax and truly believe I was okay.
“Come on,” he murmured, standing and pulling me up with him. “We’re getting out of here. I’m buying you an ice cream or a pie or something stupidly sweet until you hate sugar forever.”
“That’s impossible,” I whispered.
“Good,” he said, stepping close enough for me to lean into him. “I’m going to take care of you.”
I smiled at his determination to make the rest of the day go by more smoothly, and I was more than happy to go along with that.
“And Toby. Despite the end...I-I did have fun.” I swallowed hard. “And I hope that maybe someday we can come back with everyone. I think it’d be fun to shoot my friends.”
Toby stared at me in surprise before breaking out into loud laughter. He slung his arm around my shoulder, tucking me into his side. “And I’ll gladly take any bullet you shoot while holding them all down for you.”