Chapter Ten #3
Evelyn was thirty-five, divorced, and had a dog called Liam, who was named after her childhood idol, Liam Neeson. She worked in investment banking and had a slew of hobbies: she painted with oils, made pottery, baked, cooked and, occasionally, wrote poetry.
‘There is no way on earth Ollie goes out like this,’ she repeated.
‘You guys are twins?’
‘Yep! It’s odd. I always felt certain that if something ever happened to him, I would know straight away. We’ve always been so close, you know? Except during the dreadful foster years.’
‘What happened to your mum and dad? The boys have never said.’
‘They were on a trip to France for a weekend and had a car accident. It took them both instantly. Our world fell apart. Ollie and I were nine, Nick was fourteen. We didn’t have any other relatives left alive.
Mum was Australian, but an only child. Both of her parents were dead, and we’d lost my dad’s mum, our gran, about six months before that.
‘Our nanny offered to adopt us, but there were all sorts of legal ramifications surrounding our inheritance and the control of Mum’s company.
They separated us into different foster homes.
Five horrendous years where we didn’t see each other, and Ollie was getting into strife.
Then Nick got a judge to agree to let him be our guardian.
He was nineteen and responsible for us and the company. ’
‘That’s a lot.’
‘I’ll never forget him coming to get me.
Of course, my older brother, who was fun and funny and awkward, had been replaced by this man, tall and so fucking serious.
He hugged me so tightly and I sobbed. Ollie was there, and we just stood on the road outside my foster parents’ home, clinging to each other. We lost so much.’
My heart broke for the young versions of the Northby siblings, especially Nick.
I couldn’t imagine being nineteen and having so much weight to bear.
Jesus, when I was nineteen I was drunk most weekends and working at a retail store, where I would turn up so hungover I’d spend the whole day thinking I was going to die.
‘Not that Nick was ever particularly emotional,’ Evelyn con-tinued. ‘I saw glimpses of the old Nick when he met Rebecca, but then her illness … It was absolutely horrendous; it almost broke him.’
I was so keen to hear details, but somehow Sydney traffic, notoriously terrible, had decided to clear for our benefit and we were at the hospital already.
The whole of Sydney had apparently decided to sleep in, depriving me of the revelation of why the man I was in love with had his heart tightly locked up in a vault.
Evelyn kissed my cheek and hopped out while I went to park.
Kate came off shift in forty-five minutes and I’d offered to pick her up, seeing as though I was there.
She texted me to come up to the third floor, giving me a room number, and I reluctantly complied.
I didn’t want to intrude on Northby family time, and I was also conscious that, since I had split up with Peter, Kate had been trying to set me up with some doctor she knew.
I knocked on the door and entered. Tears stung my eyes as soon as I stepped inside. Ollie lay propped up on a few pillows, his shaved head wrapped in a bandage. Bruised and battered, he was Frankenstein’s exceedingly handsome monster, but at least he was awake.
‘Oh, my God, Ollie,’ I whispered, my hand on my chest.
‘Hey, Abs.’ His voice sounded like his throat was sore.
There was no one else in the room and I walked over to him and put my head down on his chest, hugging him. ‘Oh, my God, Ollie. I am so relieved you’re okay.’
‘Bloody massive headache. Abs, I need water.’
I grabbed a cup with a straw off the pale wooden bedside drawers next to him. I popped the straw into his mouth. Years of practice with a toddler making me an expert.
He sipped for a few seconds. ‘Ta … Abbey, thanks for looking after Nick for me. I’m sure he was a fucking nightmare over this.’
‘He was just worried about you.’ Neither of his siblings seemed to understand that I wanted nothing more than to look after Nick forever.
A throat cleared behind me and the man himself was in the room.
My heart beat hard. It was like getting off a roller coaster that your over-enthusiastic child insisted you ride, but then got to the top and changed her mind – relief tinged with joy.
The stress and exhaustion clung to him. He was only ever so slightly less fastidious than usual, but it was the most relaxed I had seen him in the last few days, and it was so lovely to see.
He practically beamed me a smile and gave me a look that communicated his relief, gratitude and warmth.
There was a touch of adoration in it too, and my heart seemed to swell in my chest.
Evelyn came through the door and embraced me again. Kate was behind her, followed by Ollie’s doctor.
‘Abbey, this is Dr Sebastian Marks, Oliver’s neurologist,’ Kate said. Her eyebrows were dancing up and down, and I realised belatedly that she was trying to communicate something to me.
The doctor was extremely good-looking, taller than either of the Northbys by several inches, fit and dark. His dark-brown eyes looked like melted milk chocolate and his face broke into deep dimples when he smiled. His arms and chest looked like they were solid muscle.
‘Hey,’ I said quietly, offering a small polite wave.
‘You’re Kate’s sister. I can see a resemblance.
I’ve been looking forward to meeting you.
’ Dimples appeared with his closed-mouthed smile as he met my eyes and held them.
He seemed to turn back to Kate for reassurance, giving me the impression my sister had arm-wrestled him into this introduction in much the same way she had me.
Across the room, Nick cleared his throat and put on his CEO voice. ‘How long do you expect Ollie’s recovery to take, Dr Marks?’
Sebastian dragged his eyes back to his patient’s brother.
‘Nick, it may take a couple of months for Oliver to recover. The headaches should eventually subside. He may have trouble concentrating for extended periods of time initially, but I would expect a full recovery in six weeks or so. We intend on releasing Oliver home at the end of the week if there are no complications. I’ve spoken with your orthopaedic surgeon, Oliver.
You’ll be non-weight-bearing for approximately six weeks.
Then you’ll need rehab. I think twelve weeks all up. ’
‘Thank you so much, Dr Marks,’ Evelyn said.
Sebastian nodded. I could feel Oliver’s emotion and instinctively reached over and grabbed his hand. A tear ran down his cheek and his sister wiped it away.
‘Come on, Ollie,’ she said. ‘Not so bad.’
‘Abbey.’
I looked up, surprised to see the doctor still in the room.
‘Uh, I realise this might not be the best time, but do you think … perhaps you would like to have dinner with me next week?’
Oh, fuck. I looked down at Ollie’s hand, which had squeezed mine, and then my eyes locked with Nick’s.
I caught a flash of jealousy, a swift clench of his jaw, a flare of his nostrils, but it vanished almost straight away.
Now he was staring at me impassively, as if he was considering what I would say.
Sebastian was astute at reading people. I suppose doctors had to be. ‘Oh, I apologise. I didn’t realise you two were together.’
I held Nick’s eyes, trying to hold on to him.
I tried to communicate my hope, my desire, my love and care with a single look.
There was a second, a micro-second, where I saw something flicker in his expression and my breath caught with the thought that he was finally going to name what was happening between us. Claim me as his.
But then it was gone.
‘No. We’re not together,’ he said, dropping his eyes to the floor. Shutting down from me.
I wanted to sink into the ground or maybe just burst into tears or burst into flames and rage at him.
‘Oh, okay, my mistake,’ Sebastian said, sounding not confident. ‘Well … um, how about dinner then, Abbey?’
My eyes were still on Nick. The man I was certain I was in love with, who did not love me.
He was refusing to meet my eyes. His brother’s hand flexed in mine, who, though he had been unconscious for several days, somehow understood this situation better than Nick.
Thoughts about the time we had spent together filled my head.
The sex. The two nights lying in his arms. The comfort I had been able to provide him.
The love and care I had for his family. His refusal to let me out of his reach.
Jesus. I could not do this anymore. I needed to implement some way-overdue self-preservation tactics. I had to let him go.
‘That sounds great, Sebastian,’ I said quietly, finally looking at the hot doctor, squaring my shoulders, and putting on the smile that was expected of me.
Sebastian looked relieved that Kate would not be his mortal enemy for failing to succeed. ‘Fantastic! I’ll grab your number from Kate. I, uh, look forward to it.’ He bent his head in a weird kind of bow and left the room.
Kate could barely contain her excitement and she left too.
I smiled politely. Everything was fine. Yes, my heart was broken. And Nick fucking Northby still could not meet my eyes. Fucking coward.
I had to get out of there with at least some semblance of dignity. I turned to Oliver, seeing sad sympathy in his eyes. ‘I am so glad you are okay, Ollie. Truly I am.’ I pressed a soft kiss into his cheek and then walked out the door.
Once I was in the corridor, I walked slowly, letting the sadness come.
I would give it a day or two, no more. He didn’t deserve it.
Though in his defence, he had warned me.
How many times had he told me this would be the case?
If I had fallen, then I had done so knowing the risks.
It didn’t make it feel better, though. I was just devastated.
‘Abbey.’
I didn’t want to turn, but I did, and I did not bother to hide the tears or the misery. I refused to hide the hurt. I wanted him to see it.
He pulled at the neck of his jumper and ran a hand through his hair, making it stick out wildly. ‘I wanted to thank you. For everything. I don’t think I could have got through the last couple of days without you.’
Yesterday, I would have tried to find the subtext in what he was saying. Today I was done. I turned and kept walking.
Nick
I watched her walk down the corridor. Stopped myself from calling out to her. She deserved someone like that doctor. Handsome and light. She deserved a chance with someone who could love her the way she deserved to be loved.
It would be easier if we didn’t have to see each other. It would be so much easier if I could pick up my life and move back to London, giving us the space we both need. But tomorrow, I need to go be Oliver at Delacqua. And that means I’m Abbey Parker’s boss again.
When I walked back into the room, my siblings were staring at me.
‘I hope you are not going to allow that very hot doctor to swoop that lovely woman away from you, Nicholas,’ Ev said.
‘I do not require your guidance, Evelyn.’
‘Nick, you might be able to pull the wool over other people’s eyes and fool them by being an arsehole, but that does not work with us, dear brother. I do believe you are in love.’
‘I’m not in love.’ I attempted to sound disinterested in the discussion, but it came out more like a growl. Strangely, the feel of Abbey’s mouth kissing my cheek and her kid wrapping her arms around me in a spontaneous Abbey-like-hug flashed through my brain.
‘Nick, you are allowed to choose happiness. You do know that, right?’
Choose happiness. What did that even mean? I didn’t choose anything here. It felt like life was operating all on its own at this point. I could choose happiness; it meant nothing. It did not mean Abbey would be happy. I chose happiness with Rebecca and look where that got us.
‘Do you ever think we are cursed, Ev?’
‘Nick, we have each other. We have Summer and Liam—’
‘I’m not sure a labrador counts, Ev,’ Ollie mumbled.
‘We have money, we have our health.’ She looked pointedly at Ollie. ‘We have so much more than so many people, Nick. I know you know that. It’s what you have always told us.’
‘So is Ev right? You are in love with Abbey?’ My brother can’t open his mouth without it making his skull ache, and his voice sounds strange.
‘I do not love her. Nothing is going on.’
My siblings shared a look that screamed our brother is full of fucking shit. I sat down next to Ollie and changed the subject.
And though we talked of other things, I was still thinking about how I would not have survived the last couple of days if it wasn’t for Abbey.