Chapter Thirty-Two
Olympia
For someone who certainly thought of himself as high and mighty, far superior to those of the lower rings, Bade spent a lot of time down on the Second.
At least, he had ever since Cosmo gave him a mysterious mission that had him bidding Luca a tearful goodbye and slinking around Avus at all hours of the night.
I’d kept an eye on him as best as I could, refusing to admit he might actually be craftier than I’d given him credit for.
I’d only lost him twice and both times I’d found him again on the Second sniffing around the House of Harlowe.
I wondered if Jude knew he had a spy in his midst. Then again, if he suspected he did, I imagined he’d think it was me.
Snorting at the idea, I remained crouching while I made my way around the brick manor of some lesser known Second Ring family and watched as Bade snuck around the corner of the House, investigating every window, every door, for a weakness I knew he wouldn’t find.
Jude was many things but careless wasn’t one of them.
Still, I couldn’t help but wish for some small amount of success for the Viper. I had, after all, been attempting to find a way in myself. If he were able to do it, at least it would show I hadn’t wasted my time.
Bade wasn’t so lucky, however. After what felt like an eternity of checking every square inch of the House of Harlowe, the Viper gave up.
He strolled back into the shadows and I slid out of my hiding spot to follow.
I didn’t turn away until he made it all the way back to the First and inside his own House.
Relieved he seemed to be turning in early for the night for the first time since we’d begun this little game of cat and mouse, I turned back to the stairs, happy to finally have some time to devote to my own tasks.
Trying to push Bade and what he and Cosmo could possibly be after from my mind, I descended down to the Third and turned down the street that would take me all the way to the west end and the bar Wolf frequented.
I’d wanted to keep an even better eye on him than I had Bade but Milo felt differently.
He claimed the Vipers were the more dangerous threat.
Maybe he was right. If they were, in fact, a threat.
Bade and Cosmo seemed to be spending their time sneaking around and spying on us while Wolf and his ilk were blowing up trials and killing witnesses.
Not that it mattered what I thought. Milo and Nascha were in charge and I went where they said.
I sat in the shadows on the other side of the street from the bar for a few hours but never saw Wolf come out or anyone else go in which meant they weren’t having another one of their meetings.
And if they weren’t having a meeting, they weren’t plotting another attack.
At least, for now. I was just about to turn away and head back up to the First and my warm bed when a familiar voice interrupted.
“You’re ignoring me,” Harrison whispered against the shell of my ear. “Again.”
I jumped so hard the top of my head collided with his chin and I hissed, rubbing at the spot as I pulled away from him and glared back. He didn’t react, though I knew it must have hurt him too.
“I’m not avoiding you,” I snapped.
His eyes narrowed to slits. In the shadows as we were, Harrison Fletcher almost looked dangerous for a second. Almost.
“I did what you asked,” he reminded me.
My eyes slid to the quiet bar and the light glowing from inside.
“Keep your voice down,” I hissed in warning.
“Do you want me to beg?”
I just blinked at him, unsure if I’d heard him correctly given the new, thrilling low timbre of his voice.
I backed away a step, warring with myself.
Every instinct told me to run, that maybe this Third Ringer had become completely unhinged and I was the cause of it, but I didn’t want to.
I wanted to stay and see how this played out.
I wanted to believe I could take whatever he pushed at me.
And yes, I wanted him to beg. Just a little. Or maybe a lot.
So I crossed my arms and gave one short nod.
“Go on, then,” I said, raising my chin when his eyes flashed in response.
“Fine,” he replied. “But if I get on my knees for you, beautiful, I’ll expect to be doing a lot more than begging.”
I fought hard to school my features into an expression of indifference so he couldn’t see how much his words had affected me.
I bit the inside of my cheek so hard I tasted blood but maintained my composure as, rather than kneeling, he took a few long strides toward me.
He reached up and cupped my face, squeezing my chin between his fingers, hard.
“I have thought of nothing but you since the day I found you dangling from my window,” he informed me, voice rough with something I didn’t dare define.
“Even when you fight me, even when you push me away, even when you ask me to turn against my friends and become someone I never meant to be. It’s you, always you, in the back of my mind calling me toward you.
You can flay the skin off my back if the mark offends you so badly, but talk to me. Look at me.”
My eyes shot to his before I could help it. His hazel eyes were an endless chasm, a wilderness I could get lost in, a snare waiting to tangle me up and never let go.
“No,” I forced the word out but it sounded weak even to me. One word and it cracked, betraying me. I pulled myself back, crumpling within as I wrenched my jaw free of his hold and stepped away.
“Why?”
There it was. One word. So simple and yet so complicated. Everything we’d ever been, everything we might ever be, wrapped up within that question, within that one word. And I didn’t have an answer.
“I–I can’t–” My voice broke.
I couldn’t finish my sentence with him looking at me like that, like I was shattering every beautiful piece of him that still believed in love and light and laughter, like I was destroying the only good thing this fucking city had ever given either one of us.
“Tell me why, Olympia,” he said, firmly.
I shook my head as I backed away from him. I couldn’t do this. Not here, not now.
“I went to your cousin for permission with you,” he reminded me.
It was all coming to a head.
“I brought the Bexleys to you.”
Everyone else let me push them away. Why wouldn’t he let me push him away?
“I said I would do anything. Let me prove I meant it.”
“I–no, I–”
“I’m not a man who forces himself on a woman, Olympia. So if this is you telling me you aren’t interested, fine. But if this is you self-sabotaging, you need to tell me why–”
“I’m not having this conversation here,” I growled.
I fought back tears as I clenched my fists so tightly my nails cut into my palms. I will not cry here.
I will not open the floodgates surrounding my heart and let my fear out in a torrent of tears.
Not on this dirty street in front of a rebel hovel.
And not in front of any man looking at me the way Harrison was now.
His gaze softened. Though the anger hadn’t dissipated from his expression entirely, there was something else in his eyes as well. Pity. He reached for me but I wrenched away.
“No,” I repeated, quieter, shakier.
“What are you afraid of?” he whispered.
“Not here.”
His jaw ticked but he nodded. He didn’t reach for me again, knowing I’d only pull away from him once more. Instead, he simply turned and walked off in the other direction, the one I knew led to his apartment. I glanced around one final time to ensure no one had overheard us before following.
Harrison walked ahead of me, posture rigid despite the easy way in which he strode on, like a man with purpose.
I kept my head down, let my bangs obscure my face, and did my best not to be recognized.
Wolf had eyes and ears everywhere, I was sure of it, and Bade could be anywhere at this point.
I, and all of House Avus, had enemies which were beginning to become impossible to count.
But still, I followed Harrison Fletcher all the way across the Third Ring to his apartment.
Because I couldn’t stay away from him.
I’d tried. Ever since that mark on his back had been revealed to the masses, I’d done everything I could to avoid him.
I’d stayed on the First Ring as much as I could, slinking below only in the dead of night to check in on Wolf or the Bexleys or to follow Bade but admittedly, I found myself straying toward that apartment as well.
Just to look in from across the street as he moved around inside, just to watch him turn out the lights and crawl into bed.
It was sick, probably, and more than a little ridiculous, but I couldn’t help myself.
I’d never wanted anything, or anyone, before.
Even with Dante, I’d wanted the status that came with him, the higher probability of success in the Trials his partnership brought, and the approval of Cosmo and Myrine, but I’d only wanted those things because they were what Nascha had told me I needed to have.
I’d never let myself want anything else.
Now Dante was gone, however, and Milo was running things in an entirely different way than they’d ever been before.
For the first time, I found myself in a position of being able to want and what I wanted was the man now holding the door of his apartment building open, biceps flexing as he frowned at my entrance.
But wanting something and having the courage to reach out and take it were two entirely different things.
If I do something crazy, I sent to Luca before I let myself fully consider what I was doing, will you have my back?
There was a silence that seemed to stretch an eternity before he answered.
Without question.