Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
When Jenny returned from a Saturday afternoon walk through Finsbury Park, she spotted Miriam waiting on the corner of the road, beside the gate to the garden square.
Her heart quickened. There was a warm but strong breeze and the walk had been invigorating, and she had been in a good mood until seeing the unexpected visitor.
Now, she was filled with a sense of resentment as the bitter words they’d exchanged came back to her mind.
Miriam had made it quite clear what she thought of Jenny, and here she was, lurking on the street.
She bubbled with resentment at the thought that Miriam would come here.
Jenny slowed, still out of sight, to think and to let the thudding of her pulse slow to a regular intensity.
Miriam was looking half away from Jenny, with her head turned towards Jenny’s house.
She wasn’t wearing her long coat but was dressed respectably in a short, pea-green jacket and a grey skirt, with her hair tamed into a chignon beneath a grey, felt bonnet.
Jenny brushed her skirt down and pushed her own bonnet forward a little more. She crossed the street and walked decisively towards Miriam, who turned to her as she approached. She was frowning and had a preoccupied air that filled Jenny with a sense of foreboding.
‘I didn’t expect to see you here.’ Jenny smiled hopefully. ‘Does this mean you have forgiven me?’
Miriam curled her lip. ‘No, it doesn’t. I’m still furious and wounded.’
The expression on Miriam’s face was a wrench Jenny felt she would never recover from. ‘It wasn’t just for me that I did what I did. It was for Mrs Walters – the friend I was with when we met the other night. She needed the money for her husband’s operation.’
‘Oh, for goodness’ sake, that’s a pathetic excuse,’ Miriam snapped. ‘You could have found any other way of doing that. No, you wanted to get rich, and you didn’t care how you did it.’
Jenny flinched. It was true, though Miriam was forgetting – or choosing to ignore – her motives. ‘Then, why are you here? Why are you condescending to speak to me now, with my dreadful acquaintances and occupation?’
Miriam frowned. ‘I’d rather not be here, but I need to tell you something, and it’s far too important to waste time quarrelling.’
Jenny’s lingering resentment disappeared, replaced with alarm.
‘Tell me.’
‘Sally has gone missing, and nobody knows where she is.’
‘The housemaid? When did you last see her?’
‘I spoke to her when I got home the morning after you saw her talking to that man. At first, she tried to tell me she hadn’t even left the house.’ Miriam stopped and twisted her hands around.
‘Come inside,’ Jenny said.
Miriam shook her head. ‘I don’t need to do that.’
‘Please,’ Jenny urged. ‘Whatever you want to tell me, I want to listen properly, and I won’t do that while we’re standing in the street. My uncle will be busy and won’t disturb us. It doesn’t mean I expect you to be my friend again,’ she added waspishly.
‘Very well, but only until I’ve told you what I need to tell you. Then I’m leaving.’
Miriam straightened her shoulders and walked at Jenny’s side stiffly. Inside the house, she stared about her openly.
How different this was to where Miriam lived. And of course, Jenny knew nothing about her childhood other than that her father had been a schoolteacher and they had lived modestly in a house on the school grounds.
‘Please come this way. We’ll go into my sitting room,’ she said, leading the way.
Miriam raised her brows. ‘Your own sitting room. How lovely!’
Jenny spun around. ‘Miriam, please stop being facetious. I can’t help what my home is like, and you know full well that I would give it all up in an instant to be with you.’
Miriam dropped her gaze and muttered an apology.
In the sitting room, Jenny rang for tea then sat on the sofa.
Miriam sat down beside her, keeping her body stiff.
They weren’t touching and the space between them was minimal, but to Jenny it felt like a gulf the width of the Thames.
She didn’t know what to say so she dropped her eyes and studied Miriam’s hands.
She was wearing tan, kid gloves that looked quite new.
With the smart jacket and hat, she was clearly trying to look as respectable as possible visiting this part of town.
She would fit into Jenny’s social circle without question, though no doubt she would find the collection of wives and matrons dull.
‘Tell me about Sally,’ Jenny prompted as soon as the tea tray had been brought and they were alone again. She poured and hesitated over the lemon slices and the milk jug.
‘Lemon, please, but no sugar,’ Miriam said. She cleared her throat.
‘As I said, I spoke to Sally the next morning. At first, she denied being out. Then she told me that she had just been talking to that man, Craig, about the weather. Finally, she admitted he had wheedled out of her that she wished to be on the stage and that he knew people who might be willing to give her an audition.’
Miriam sipped her tea and leant back, looking a little more at home. Jenny offered to refill her cup, but Miriam declined.
‘After that, there was no stopping Sally. She told me that this man knew a woman who could introduce her to patrons who might sponsor her and give her a start in her career as a dancer.’
‘Could it be true?’ Jenny asked. Her stomach filled with acid. If Augusta’s man was involved in prostitution, there was a strong likelihood that Augusta knew about it, too, and was the woman in question.
Miriam scoffed. ‘Of course not! I told Sally that she was certainly unlikely to meet anybody of the sort and that Mrs Godolphin would be cross that she’d risked her reputation. At that point, she became quite angry with me. I told her she was a silly girl and left her to her own devices.’
Guilt flashed over her face, and she put the saucer down and shifted on the sofa.
‘The next morning, the fires weren’t lit, and when Mrs Godolphin went to see why Sally had overslept, she discovered her bed made and her belongings gone. I know I was too forthright. I can be rash at times in my judgements.’
Jenny couldn’t help raising her brows. ‘I hadn’t noticed!’
Miriam scowled and folded her arms, turning away from Jenny. ‘I’m still furious with what you’ve been doing. I dare say I shall be for quite a long time. I’m only here because I need help.’
‘But you’ve come to me. I’m very pleased about that,’ Jenny said softly. ‘What can I do?’
She reached for Miriam’s hand, but Miriam pulled it away.
‘No, I don’t want you to touch me.’
Her eyes dropped to the floor before she sighed deeply and looked back up at Jenny.
‘You knew the person who Sally spoke to. I wonder if you would be able to talk to him and find out if she did go with him?’
Jenny felt a wriggle of anxiety at the thought of confronting the man. She should ask Gwen to go with her; then she remembered she had quarrelled with Gwen, too. She wasn’t having a very good week of keeping friends! She’d have to mend that bridge first.
‘Even though you disapprove of my associating with him.’ Jenny pouted, unable to resist the jibe even though the situation was serious.
‘If you have to have unpleasant connections, they might as well come in useful,’ Miriam snapped.
‘I can try to find out, but I can’t promise anything,’ Jenny answered.
‘That doesn’t matter, if you try. Even if it just puts my mind at ease to know that she’s happy with her decision.’
Miriam looked a little more at ease and her smile was a shade warmer than it had been when she arrived.
Their eyes met and a melancholic shroud descended on Jenny.
She longed to take Miriam’s hand or stroke her cheek, anything to remind her of the relationship they had only just begun.
But Miriam looked away, pressing her lips together tightly.
‘I should go.’
‘Stay, please. Finish your tea,’ Jenny said. ‘Now you’re here, I’d like to show you where I live.’
‘So you can show off what a lovely home you have?’ Miriam raised her eyebrows.
‘If you like,’ Jenny said, her shoulders sagging.
She rallied. ‘Yes, why not! To show you that however fine it is, the fact that I’d be prepared to leave it for you should tell you how I feel.
I did it so that I could be independent,’ Jenny said.
‘How on earth else was I to afford to be independent? I want to be with you.’
‘But I won’t take your rent money if it’s been made on the back of dealing in opium. You know that. And whatever happens, that won’t change. If you really wanted to be with me, you would have done what I asked,’ Miriam added quietly. ‘I believed that you were honest with me. I believed in you.’
Her face creased and tears brimmed in her eyes. It was more than Jenny could bear. She began to tremble.
‘I still believe in us,’ Jenny whispered. ‘I believe we still can be something if only you’ll let me earn your forgiveness.’
Miriam’s throat tightened as she swallowed, and Jenny was certain her words had struck home. She blinked and looked away again.
‘I can’t stay. I told Mrs Godolphin I was going to find news and she’ll be waiting for me. She does care about her employees as well as her lodgers, you know.’
As Jenny showed her to the door, Uncle Conrad walked down the stairs. He stopped at the bottom and regarded both women, before pulling his waistcoat down to cover the gap between his trousers and shirt.
‘Jenny, I didn’t realise you had a visitor. Is this Miss Beadsley, finally come to visit you?’
‘This is Miss Sandler,’ Jenny answered. ‘She’s an artist.’
Uncle Conrad inclined his head slightly towards Miriam.
‘A lady artist. How interesting.’
‘Your niece has told me you are something of an artist yourself. She speaks very highly of your work,’ Miriam said.
Uncle Conrad bowed, looking pleased. ‘Very kind. Very good. How lovely to meet a friend of my niece’s. It’s so rare. Enchanted to meet you, Miss Sandler. If you will excuse me, I have matters to attend to.’
He went into the dining room.