Chapter 19
NINETEEN
MATEO
The last few days are torturous in the sense that all we do is look and barely touch.
I spend way too much time staring at Vanessa.
She probably thinks I’m insane by now, or that I am obsessed with her.
We talk more and more, and I’m realizing she gets even more interesting the longer I’m around her.
She is obsessed with true crime, spending most of her time reading or watching crime shows. She can rattle off different cases and has a special fascination with crimes that happen in small towns.
We keep sharing these charged little glances, and I try more than a few times to sneak kisses onto her forehead, but she isn’t having it.
I walk out of my office after working for hours and find her in the living room, curled up with a book.
It’s almost seven, and she needs to be at the hospital in a few hours.
I already talked with Gino, and we both agree that eventually she’ll need someone else watching her during her night shifts.
She hasn’t fully forgiven me yet, so maybe having someone else there is a good idea, at least for a few days.
Just as I turn to go talk to her, the front door opens and Alonso walks in.
“Hey, man,” he says as he steps inside.
“Hey.”
He looks over at her. “You must be Vanessa. I’m Alonso,” he says, offering his hand.
“Want to talk in my office?” I ask him.
“Yeah.”
I glance back at her. “Vanessa, if you want, you can order something to eat.”
“Thanks, but I’m good,” she says. “I’m just going to get everything together for my shift.” She stands and slips out of the living room, heading for her room.
“Yeesh, bro,” Alonso mutters once she’s gone. “Sorry I missed the wedding. They wouldn’t let me leave.” He grimaces. “Is she still mad at you?”
“I don’t know if it’s more anger or a lack of trust right now,” I admit.
“I like her,” he says. “I mean, the fact that she isn’t just falling for you right away says a lot.”
“Asshole,” I shoot back dryly. “Are you trying to tell me you’ve fallen for me?”
He snorts. “No. I’m saying being in the same room with someone changes your feelings fast.”
We head into my office, and he drops into one of the chairs across from my desk. Alonso is staying with us tonight to get a feel for things and start taking over her shifts.
“Sorry I couldn’t be at your wedding, man,” he adds. “They didn’t release me from the hospital until Sunday morning. I thought I was never getting out of there.”
“I didn’t realize it was that bad.”
“It wasn’t.” He shakes his head. “Just the blood loss and your dramatics when I got there got them concerned.”
“Ah.” I watch him. “Have you talked to Drew since Sunday?”
He pauses. “No. Why?”
“He kind of lost his mind when he heard you got shot. Did he come see you in the hospital?”
“Yeah, but he didn’t say much.”
“Huh.”
He leans back in his chair. “So why aren’t you going to be doing this whole watching-her thing anymore?”
“Well, for one, I still have my day job. And two, I’m still trying to get her forgiveness for lying to her.”
“What exactly did you do to get her this pissed at you?”
“I didn’t tell her about the marriage contract until after I had sex with her, and Gino is the one that told her,” I say, wincing at how bad it sounds coming out of my own mouth.
“You’re an idiot,” he laughs.
“Yeah, I know.” I roll my eyes.
We spend the next hour going over everything he needs to know, from the types of patients she sees to the people she works with.
“Are you sure this is a good idea, having her work there?” he asks. “That place is always crawling with people like us.”
“I can’t tell her to walk away from something she loves.”
“All right, fine.” He studies me. “How long do you think she is going to stay mad at you?”
“That I don’t know. Giving her space will help, but I also know some kind of grand gesture might help.”
“It could.” He tips his head. “Do you have any ideas?”
I look at him, hoping he does.
“Not really,” he admits, “but you’ll figure something out. What time do we head out?”
“Around ten-fifteen.” I exhale. Not only do I have to figure out how to get Vanessa to stop hating me—
“I’ll head out for a bit,” he cuts in. “I’ll be back in an hour when you’re ready to leave.”
We leave my office, and Alonso heads to the front door.
Once I hear it close, I make my way down the hall to Vanessa’s room and knock softly.
It takes a moment, but she opens the door, moving slowly.
She’s already in her scrubs, her red hair loose and still damp from a recent shower. I step inside, and she follows.
“Alonso just left, but he’ll be back to join us tonight,” I tell her as I sit on the edge of the bed. “I think it makes sense to rotate people so no one catches on too quickly.”
“Okay,” she says, lifting her left hand with a dry look. “So how exactly do I tell them about this?”
“Well, you could tell them that we met and got married.”
“I’ll be interrogated by everyone I work with,” she says flatly. “So we need a story. And we need a reason for you being there.”
“Alonso and I were planning to stay in the parking area and come in to check every once in a while. I don’t think you need me in there the whole time, but stopping in to check on you seems more natural and won’t draw as much attention.”
“Makes sense, but don’t feel like you have to keep avoiding me.” She winks as she walks to start packing her backpack.
“I’m not avoiding you—”
Before I can finish, she steps right in front of me, looking down at me.
“Yes, you are,” she says calmly. “Because you think I don’t want this.
This is an unconventional way to start a marriage, or a relationship for that matter.
I’m irritated and frustrated that no one told me, but it happened, and we have to figure it out.
” Her lips curve slightly. “So. Our backstory?”
God, this girl.
I’ve spent the last week basically treading water, barely talking to her.
If I had taken a few minutes, she probably would have told me this days ago.
Before I can even pull myself out of my thoughts, I feel soft warmth against my lips.
She’s closed the distance between us, leaning over me to press a gentle kiss to my mouth.
My hands slide to her waist, and I draw her down until she’s straddling me. She pulls back just enough to smile softly at me.
“I think our backstory is just that our schedules never really worked, so we never met each other’s friends and just got married on a whim,” she says.
“Yeah,” I murmur hoarsely.
“Good. Well, it’s almost nine-thirty, so I’m going to finish getting my stuff together.”
“Okay. You really are playing hard to get, and I kind of like it.” I grin up at her. She smiles back, then winks as she slips off me.
“It’s not that I’m playing hard to get. I just don’t want to look like a pushover.”
“I don’t think you’re a pushover at all. I think you’re strong, independent, and beautiful, and I’m lucky enough to be around you all the time.”
“All the time?” she teases. “You’re about to have someone else hanging out with me at work, which makes me think you want to be away from me.” She giggles as she reaches for a hair tie.
“You know why we need someone else.”
“Yes, I do. I’m messing with you.”
I laugh softly, shaking my head as I leave the room to grab my blazer and keys. We head out of the apartment and drive to the hospital.
After I drop Vanessa off, Alonso and I park in the garage attached to the building. We’ll start here, then move closer to the entrance later. The last thing we need is hospital security wondering why an SUV with two men is sitting out front all night.
“Since I missed all the action over the last two weeks,” Alonso says, “how the hell did you end up married? You’re habitually single, bro.”
“Well, did Gino tell you anything?” I ask.
“Some, but not all. He mentioned you two recognized each other when she showed up at his place to tell him she was his sister.”
“Yeah. She was the trauma nurse on duty when we brought you in.”
“Ah,” he says. “So how did she end up marrying you? Did Gino just decide that one day?”
“No. Antonio and my father made an arrangement before they died.”
“So, you have no clue why there was an arrangement made?”
“No, and neither does Gino. He thinks maybe there was some kind of deal made when we were even younger.”
He glances at me. “If Antonio and your parents are dead, why did you decide to go through with it?”
“Because she really does need the protection,” I say. “The second it got out that she was an Esposito, everyone started calling Gino with marriage contracts and arrangements. Someone would have come after her and hurt her.”
“I am hurt, though,” Alonso says, pouting. “I didn’t even get to plan a bachelor party.”
“Who said you would’ve planned it?” I laugh, rolling my eyes.
“Whatever. You would’ve loved it.” He reaches for the door. “I’m going to go in and check on her.”
He leaves the car, and I’m alone with my thoughts.
I’ve spent the last few days trying to figure out how to apologize to her, but none of my ideas feel good enough.
Cooking for her, letting her pick whatever she wants to watch, none of it breaks through the wall she’s built.
What she said today makes it clear she doesn’t need grand gestures.
She just needs someone who won’t walk away, and I want to be that person.
Her shift passes without any surprises. Alonso heads out shortly before it ends, leaving me to go pick her up. I walk into the emergency room and immediately spot Vanessa at the desk, talking to a young woman. She’s smiling, bright and easy, and the sight of it makes something loosen in my chest.
“Here he comes,” the young woman says, glancing straight at me.
Vanessa turns, still smiling, though she looks exhausted. “Hey,” she says softly.
“Hey. Ready to go?”
“Yeah. Jamie, this is Mateo. Mateo, this is Jamie.”
“Nice to meet you,” I say, shaking Jamie’s hand.
“Likewise,” Jamie says, “Vanessa, you should get out of here before some admin tries to get you to work a double.”
“They do that?” I ask, suddenly uneasy.
“They’ve done it to her,” Jamie replies, giving me a look.
“What? Why?” I reply.
She laughs softly. “Because she’s one of the best, and they wanted to fast-track her. She’s worked a lot of doubles over the last few years. Have a good day, you two.”
“See you later,” Vanessa says, waving as we head for the exit.
We walk to the car in comfortable silence, and she slips into the passenger seat.
I think about what she said earlier about playing hard to get, but I don’t know how much longer I can pretend I’m fine with it.
The more time I spend around her, the harder I fall, and I’m starting to realize I’m falling in love with her.