Chapter Sixteen
Gunnar
E xhaustion from a long day presses down on me, my burning eyes and heavy limbs resenting the fourteen-hour shift.
I never mind working overtime; it comes with the territory, and I’m always grateful for the business, but working until almost ten o’clock every night this week leaves little time for my favorite part of the day, and that’s being with Ellie.
Whether it’s being buried deep inside her, enveloped in her warmth and intoxicating scent, or listening to her laugh and ramble about the stupidest shit, these are now the moments I live for. Though, if I’m being honest, I’ve always lived for any moment with her since we were kids.
After doing a quick survey of my surroundings, I take note of the several unfinished tasks and decide it’ll still be here tomorrow. Which is why I say “fuck it” and call it a night.
Tossing my wrench back in the toolbox, I make my way to the back room to clean up. I strip out of my grime-covered workwear, shedding the heaviness of the day along with it, then wash up at the sink.
A hot shower beckons me, but I resist the temptation, saving that indulgence for when I’m with Elle.
Just as the thought surfaces, the unmistakable sound of footsteps resounding through the shop greets my ears, sending Bear into a barking frenzy.
A scowl forms on my face as I wonder who the hell is coming by at this hour.
It better not be Ryland coming back. As much as I appreciate his help, he already does too much for someone who is supposed to be retired.
Shutting off the sink, I dry my hands and emerge from the back room to find the girl I was eager to get home to. The one my thoughts are constantly consumed with.
My best friend.
Elle kneels next to Bear, hugging him and kissing him like she always does.
“Well, this is a nice surprise,” I say in greeting, an easy grin falling over my face as I stride toward her. “I was just about to lock up.”
She climbs to her feet as I approach, giving me a full view, and her appearance under the dim light halts me in my tracks. Dressed in baggy sweats that swallow her small frame and red rimmed eyes brimming with tears, she looks lost and broken.
Concern grips my chest like an iron fist. “Elle, what is it? What’s wrong?”
My questions hang like a dark cloud, casting shadows across her delicate features.
She fidgets with the hem of her hoodie as if trying to distract me from the tears flooding her eyes before she manages a shrug. “Got my period.” Her fragile composure shatters under the confession, triggering a sob from her chest.
A curse escapes me as I close the distance between us and take her into my arms. I hold her close, forming a protective shield around her trembling body as she cries against my chest .
“I’m sorry, Elle,” I whisper against her hair, wishing my words were enough to ease her disappointment; not only for her but myself.
“I know I’m being stupid,” she says between sobs. “But I really thought this time was it. I was so sure of it. Felt it in my bones. How could I have been so wrong?”
Her sorrow rips me apart from the inside out. “You’re not stupid,” I murmur. “You were hopeful, we both were. Nothing wrong with that. It’s just going to take more time than we were expecting, but it will happen.”
“What if it doesn’t?” she whispers fearfully. “What if something is wrong, Gunnar? What if they overlooked something at the clinic, and I can’t get pregnant?”
I dismiss that thought, refusing to even go there. “I’m sure that’s not the case, but if it is, we’ll figure it out. We might just have to shift the plan. Hell, for all we know, maybe it’s me.” That thought unsettles me more than I care to admit.
“Doubtful,” she grumbles.
I frown at the response. “Why do you say that?”
“Because anytime anything ever goes wrong, it’s never you, it’s always me,” she cries. “You’re perfect and good at everything you do, and I’m always riding the Hot Mess Express.”
That statement is so ridiculous I can’t help but laugh. “I’m far from perfect, Elle, but if it’s any consolation, I will gladly ride the Hot Mess Express with you, anytime, anywhere.”
A giggle escapes through her tears, which is the exact reaction I was hoping for. The sound of it eases the heaviness of the moment.
Sniffling, she lifts her face from my chest, revealing a slightly pink nose and red-rimmed eyes. The sight of it has me dropping a kiss on her forehead, my lips lingering as I silently vow to always fix what hurts.
By the time I pull back, I see her eyes have fluttered close, a tranquil calm settling over her face before she reopens them.
“You always make it better,” she says, her voice a mere whisper.
Good because that’s what she has always done for me. She’s always been my anchor in the storm.
“I’m sorry for showing up and falling apart on you like this,” she adds. “Especially when you’re so busy. I was just really sad and didn’t want to be alone.”
That confession hits hard. “You never have to apologize for needing me, Elle,” I say, my thumb sweeping away a stray tear from her cheek. “Let’s just give it a little more time before we worry too much, okay?”
Her response is a gentle nod.
“Why don’t we stay here tonight?” I suggest, pulling her in closer. “We can make some popcorn, watch a movie, or just talk. Whatever you want.”
A grateful smile touches her lips, a glimmer of hope breaking through the sorrow. “I’d like that.” Her soft agreement further eases the moment.
“Good. Me too.” I drop one more kiss to the top of her head, lingering just a second longer before stepping back. “Go on up. I’ll be there soon. Just need to lock up.”
Nodding, she heads for the stairs. “Take your time. Bear and I will start the popcorn.” She pats her leg, motioning for him to follow.
His tail wags in excitement as he happily trots behind her, the sound of their footsteps fading as I enter my office .
Despite her reassurance, I try to make it quick and rush through my task, refusing to leave her side for too long.
Less than a minute later, I hear the gentle patter of footsteps echo through the shop again. Assuming it’s Elle, I venture back out.
It’s not Elle.
Shock anchors me in place, bringing me to a hard stop as I come face-to-face with a voluptuous brunette in a trench coat.
“Maxine,” I utter, my surprise more than evident.
A seductive smile dances across her lips as she leans against the charger. “Hey, stranger.”
“What are you doing here?” I ask, forgoing any kind of greeting.
Our relationship doesn’t warrant unexpected visits like this, and it’s not something I appreciate when I have Elle upstairs.
“I came to see you, silly. You left me no choice since you haven’t returned my messages.”
I curse myself as I’m reminded of her texts. I meant to respond but forgot. Given our understanding, you would think my lack of response would dissuade her from showing up here, but I guess not.
“Sorry, I’ve been busy.”
“Too busy for me?” she pouts, pursing her lips in an effort to turn me on, but it does quite the opposite.
“Yeah,” I respond bluntly, refusing to beat around the bush. “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t respond. I meant to. Things have changed and—”
She shrugs off her trench coat, letting it drape in the crook of her elbows, exposing scantily clad lingerie. “You were saying?”
Christ .
I quickly avert my gaze, my jaw tightening in frustration. “Put the damn jacket back on, Max.”
She bristles at my tone. “What the hell is going on with you?”
Before I get the chance to respond, Ellie emerges from the apartment. “Hey, what kind of seasoning do you want for the popcorn?” she asks, her attention on the small glass bottles she holds in her hands. “We have dill pickle, chipotle, and—” her voice falters mid-sentence when she catches sight of Maxine standing before me in nothing but lingerie.
This is not fucking happening right now .
Elle’s face cycles through every emotion. First shock, then hurt, then… anger.
Fuck.
“Jesus, Gunnar,” Maxine snaps, pulling the trench coat back on as if this is my fault. “You could have warned me.”
“I’ve been trying to,” I grit, unsure how she hasn’t comprehended that yet.
“Gunnar?” Elle’s voice is small, reflecting the turmoil of emotions warring across her face. “What’s going on?”
“Just a misunderstanding, sweetheart,” Max answers before I can, her tone laced with bitterness. “Nothing to worry yourself over.”
“Watch it, Max,” I warn.
Her tone puts Elle on the defensive. “I’m sorry, who are you exactly?” she asks, looking ready to brawl if necessary.
Jesus, what a fucking mess .
“I’m his favorite tourist,” Maxine retorts with a smug smile. “Who are you?”
“She’s more,” I cut in, refusing to let this go on any further.
Max challenges that response with a lift of her chin. “So much more that you couldn’t tell me about her before I came? ”
“I didn’t invite you here,” I remind her. “We had an arrangement. A casual one. Don’t make it out to be more than what it was.”
Her eyes narrow into tiny slits as her ego deflates like a balloon. “Fine. Have it your way, but don’t come crawling back to me when you get bored with her.” She storms out of the shop before I can hit back, the echo of her heels trailing in the aftermath of her fury.
My attention shifts to Elle, and I find myself struggling to look her in the eyes as she descends the stairs.
“I’m sorry,” I apologize weakly, knowing the words are inadequate. “I had no idea she would show up here.”
Her demeanor is deceptively calm as she stands before me. “Who is she?”
It’s a question I desperately wish to evade, but I don’t because she deserves to know. “Just someone I met a couple of years ago. She travels here for work sometimes.”
Her eyes flare in surprise. “Wow, a couple of years…”
I shake my head, knowing where she’s going with this. “It wasn’t like that. I’ve only met with her a few times.”
“Why didn’t you ever mention her to me?”
“Because it didn’t mean anything.” That might make me sound like a dick but it’s the truth. Maxine was a scratch to an itch, just like any other.
“So, what does that say about me?”
My brows knit together in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“You never mentioned me to her either. Is that because I don’t mean anything to you?”
My blood heats at the question, my eyes narrowing. “I’m not dignifying that with an answer.”
She tilts her chin, refusing to back down. “Why not? ”
“Because you fucking know better.”
“Do I?”
“Yeah, you do,” I snap, my temper flaring. “You’re just pissed off right now, and I don’t blame you, but don’t make this out to be about my feelings for you, Elle. It has nothing to do with that. It never did. Besides, it’s not like this is the kind of thing we have ever discussed before, and if I’m being honest, I really don’t want to fucking start now.”
A bitter laugh escapes her lips. “Well, too damn bad, we’re going to talk about it because I would like to be prepared for any other ‘meaningless’ women who might saunter in here expecting a quick fuck by you. How many have there been, Gunnar? Three? Four? Ten? Were they all your ‘favorite tourists’?”
Now it’s my turn to laugh. “Now you’re just being ridiculous.”
“How am I supposed to know? Like you said, we’ve never talked about it before.”
“And we aren’t going to now because it doesn’t fucking matter,” I retort sharply. “It never mattered. You matter. We matter. This matters. No one else.”
“If that’s true, then why didn’t you respond to her?” she yells, her voice tinged with anger. “Why didn’t you tell her we were together?”
“Because I was knee-deep in shit when she messaged, and I forgot,” I snap. “I know that’s a shitty excuse, Elle, but it’s all I got because it’s the truth.”
“Or maybe it’s because you’re not as certain about all of this as you thought.” The words fly out of her mouth like daggers, each one hitting its target with precision.
“What did you just say?”
She drops her gaze, refusing to repeat herself.
“You can’t seriously think that? ”
“I don’t know,” she cries. “I feel like I don’t know anything right now.”
“Bullshit!” I jab a finger in her direction. “You know me, and you damn well know I wouldn’t be trying to have a fucking baby with you if I had any doubts.”
She throws her hands up. “And yet, here we are, fighting and questioning everything!”
“I’m not questioning anything. You are.”
“You’re right, I am,” she chokes out, her resolve crumbling into tears. “I’m questioning why I’m not getting pregnant. Why it hurts so much to know you were with someone else even though I already knew you were.” Each word tumbles out of her with so much pain and anguish, it practically paralyzes me. “Now, I’m left wondering if this is all happening for a reason. That maybe no matter how much I want this with you or how much I love you, maybe it’s just not meant to be.”
The final part lands like a crippling blow to my chest, leaving me gasping for breath.
“Jesus, Ellie, no.” I barely manage the words as I step toward her.
“No, please don’t,” she pleads between sobs, recoiling as if my touch might burn her. Tears carve a path of devastation down her face, casting every feature in heartbreak as she slowly backs away. “I’m sorry. So sorry, but I can’t do this right now. I need some time.”
Panic claws its way through my chest with each step she takes. “No. Don’t leave.” I reach for her out of desperation, my fingers closing around nothing but air as she flees from the shop, leaving me with the echo of her sobs and the darkness of my own despair.