Chapter 19 Yue #2
Sonam is quiet for a moment, contemplatively watching the Jade Palace with an almost weary calm. There’s something amusing about the way he chooses his words as carefully as I do. It’s one of the few things we have in common, I suppose.
“Jun,” he answers finally. “He died roughly thirty years ago. He was the kindest of my siblings. So much so, I sometimes wondered how it was possible we were even related. He was the one who gave me the book.”
I listen with rapt attention, unsure if it’s the seriousness of the captain’s voice or my natural curiosity that has me hanging on his every word.
“He was the eldest among us and therefore destined for the throne. But then he shocked everyone by joining the Order of the Albeion monks.” Sonam shakes his head, as if in disbelief.
“He gave up everything to live in a sun temple, of all things. Wrote to me often. He told me he was happy there. Father was furious, of course. All those years spent training Jun to be his successor, for naught.”
“Good thing your father still has a selection to choose from, then.”
Sonam huffs. “Yes, I suppose.”
“And what, pray tell, became of this beloved brother?”
The captain swallows, his throat rising and falling heavily. “I was five when it happened. I’d already been sent away from the Jade Palace, so I didn’t learn of his death until a letter came moons later. There was an attack.”
I stiffen. “An attack?”
“Demons,” he mumbles. “A whole pack of them, according to the reports.” Sonam takes a deep breath, his gaze suddenly distant and cold. “They tore through the sun temple. Ripped him apart.”
My heart does something it’s never done—it sinks. I, too, know the pain of loss. It’s brutal and unforgiving, an insidious kind of agony that lingers for years and years until it gives way to numbness. But I’m also wary.
“Is that why you decided to become a demon hunter?” I ask tightly.
“Not entirely.”
“Care to elaborate? Or am I going to have to continue this game of questions?”
Sonam glares at me. “My mother was not an appointed concubine, but a scullery maid who happened to catch His Majesty’s eye. It was… a bit of a scandal. I likely would have been worse off had it not been for her lineage.”
I tilt my head to the side, curious. “What lineage?”
“Supposedly, my mother comes from a long line of accomplished archers. She had no proof, however. The family records only went back so far. Many within the Jade Palace who had my father’s ear believed A-Ma to be a liar. Said she’d spun a tale to earn his favor.”
I frown, deep in thought. “And this explains your lack of a title?”
The muscles in his jaw tick. I take his lack of an answer as confirmation.
“You humans are so strange, imposing all these rules on yourselves.”
“You’re hardly someone from whom I’ll suffer a lecture, Fox.”
A soft laugh escapes me, a wheezy little sound. I’ll let the issue rest.
I absentmindedly continue to flip through his notebook, admiring the clear progression in artistic skill.
Some creatures I’m able to put a name to, others I’m not.
There are notes neatly scribbled in the margins, each stroke firm and confident.
Sonam is a thorough huntsman. He’s listed weaknesses, strengths.
I’m convinced there isn’t a beast in the entire world he hasn’t encountered.
A fei beast with one frightening round eye in the middle of its face. A razor-toothed yayu. A flock of Zhenniao birds.
When I come up to the last entry, I freeze.
On the page is a nine-tailed fox, every detail immaculate.
From my six obsidian eyes with gray pupils to my pointed ears and the matted sections of my fur that I have no time to groom.
He’s even captured my burns. I gingerly run the tips of my fingers over the image, careful not to smudge his work.
It’s strange seeing myself through someone else’s eyes.
He’s even drawn me with my mask on, duplicating the slope of my nose and the voluminous waves of my shiny black hair.
I’m beautiful.
Or, more accurately, the mask is.
I want to admire his work. Truly, I do. But then I remember the purpose of his little notebook. His hunting log. There’s a reason behind his study, and it leaves me unnerved.
“Of all the things you could have done,” I murmur, “surely the king could have afforded you the life of a scholar, if not a proper title.”
Sonam sets his jaw. “I vowed vengeance,” he says. “When Jun died, I vowed to kill every demon on earth.”
“And?” I prompt, sensing the way he hesitates.
“The Jade Palace will never recognize me,” he says firmly. “Not the king, not my brothers, and not the advisors whispering in their ears. Not until I’ve proven my worth. Banishing you to Hell would have achieved that.”
I bite my tongue, his words ringing loud and clear. There’s a resoluteness in his tone that makes my stomach churn.
“When we first fell,” I murmur. “You could have killed me.”
“I’m aware.”
“So why didn’t you?”
Sonam is silent for a long while, his eyes cast down. “I don’t know,” he confesses softly. “But trust I won’t make the same mistake twice.”
I nearly forgot who I was talking to. No exceptions will be made, no more deals struck.
Our reluctant alliance has kept me safe thus far, but sooner or later, Sonam will make his lethal move.
Unless I come up with a plan, he will inflict hurt upon me just as everyone else has. I’d be a fool to expect anything less.
I close the book gently and hand it back to him, avoiding his gaze as I stare out toward the grounds of the Jade Palace. It looks so big and lonely. I don’t understand why Sonam would want to return to a place like this.
“Get some rest, human,” I murmur. “You need it more than I.”