FORTY-EIGHT
Aliya
PRESENT
Every day is a tiresome duty as I carry on with my life.
Elena’s comforting words, that everything will be okay, echo in my mind, but as the days pass, nothing seems to change.
Weeks go by, December rolls in, and the preparations for the upcoming finals begin.
I go to school, attend classes, and try to focus on my assignments. I throw myself into the exams, studying as if it were my salvation. I try my best to act indifferent whenever I see him in class or passing in the hallways. I distract myself, spending breaks with Silver in the workroom or alone on the rooftop.
I pretend that his absence doesn’t leave a deep mark on me, that I’m not constantly thinking of him. I swallow my feelings, hide my grief, and hope that the pain will fade someday.
It’s a routine I’ve mastered by now.
And I’m glad he has people who care about him. Damian and Shin don’t leave him alone and make him smile. After everything, he deserves to be happy.
Yet, I can’t suppress the painful pang of jealousy whenever I see them together.
Will he ever miss me as much as I miss him?