Chapter 44
Forty-four
Zellie
Groggy. My head feels so groggy. What in all the stars did they put in that slop?
My eyes dart nervously around me, my mind unable to form a complete thought.
They wouldn’t drug me unless they had plans for me.
Plans are never good. I scramble into the corner, flattening myself as much as I can against the wall as if to hide myself, as dread clears my head and heart.
Listening to the sound of my wild heart and erratic breathing, I wait.
A loud crack followed by what could only be an explosion, sounds in the distance, rattling my bones and the bars of my cage.
Holy shit. Am I hallucinating? What the fuck did they give me?
My ears ring as nausea builds and builds, threatening to come up.
I take deep breaths, mentally preparing myself for the impending pain when they come for me.
Is this a scare tactic? The floor rumbles beneath me, and I swear I hear shouts in the distance.
Are they torturing someone else? The nausea amplifies at the thought of someone else suffering as I have.
How long was I out? Didn’t they deposit me back here a few hours ago? Have they finally had enough? Fuck, I’m done for. This is it.
A dark fog rolls into my cell, seeping through the bars barricading me from freedom.
It races towards me, blocking my vision, sucking everything into it, like an endless black hole.
Are they trying to terrify me? It’s working.
Wait. I blink once, twice; my eyes feeling like sandpaper.
I know that fog… I’ve seen it once before.
And through the familiar mist, as it parted, Jada appeared with steady, determined strides.
Is this a test? Another one of their fucked-up games? I know what the Kosmos is capable of. Another figure forms behind Jada; their outline tall and strong.
My heart stops, dead in my chest. Orion. It can’t be. I swallow, shaking my head to clear the fog in my mind and in front of me. Warm hands grasp each side of my face, but instinct has me recoiling.
“Zi, it’s me. Are you okay?”
I can’t breathe. My heart is beating out of my body while my blood sluggishly pumps through my veins. This isn’t real. His hands feel so warm. Dirt and blood are smeared on his face. Why would he appear to me in this state? What the fuck am I on right now?
My eyes are like sandpaper as I watch him frantically scan my body looking for injuries. Not many linger on the outside—they were sure to keep them internal. I squint, looking for any sign to confirm this is a trick, but his hazel eyes look exactly how I remember them.
Orion begins pulling against the cords binding me, cursing as he realizes he can’t free me of them.
“We have less than a minute!” A voice calls beyond the fog. Masculine—but who?
“Just get her; we’ll take care of those later.” Leo’s voice fills my head, but he’s nowhere to be found—this fog is everywhere. I can barely make out the walls. Leo is here? He can’t be.
Orion scoops me up as if I’m weightless, cradling me against his chest.
It feels so nice to be held; if only it were real.
But he’s not really here. This is some sort of illusion, and they’ve come to torture me some more. This is the effect of the drugs they gave me. I don’t want them to take me. I can’t do this again. I won’t survive it. I’d rather die.
“No, no, no!” Something snaps within me as I scream, my voice hoarse and cracking from effort. I kick and thrash with all my might, my weakened body useless against their strong hold. Just end it, I think. This is it. Whatever they have planned, I’ll make sure it’s the last time.
Jada’s face is suddenly in front of mine, her hands petting my hair.
“Breathe, Zell-Bell. It’s okay, we’ve got you.
” Chin wobbling, I bask in her comfort, wishing with every part of my soul for this to be real.
If this is how I go, at least I’ll have the image of those I love in my mind before I do.
“We’ve got you,” Orion repeats, his chest rumbling against my cheek with each word.
My flailing lessens, and Orion and Jada’s forms start running.
I pass through my cell, and the weight in my chest lightens.
Is it being free of prison or being closer to the end that lessens the burden?
The jostling combined with the blurred surroundings—and the drugs—has my vision blurring.
The halls are dim, the poor lighting and lingering fog making it impossible to grasp my bearings.
I squeeze my eyes closed, a dark abyss beckoning me.
I lean into the warmth of what is hopefully, truly Orion, and succumb to the darkness’s welcoming embrace.
Trees filled with viridescent leaves rustle gently in the soft breeze behind us.
Orion sits beside me, our hands clasped, feet digging into the grainy beige sand.
Our pants our rolled to our knees, faces raised towards the sun.
Moist, salty air kisses my skin as the sound of crashing waves grounds me.
This is paradise. The ocean is so much bigger than the river in Astralis.
It stretches on and on, seemingly never-ending as far as our eyes can see.
In the distance, the waves slam against a rocky cliffside, a vibrant blue sky offsetting the darkened bluff.
I inhale salt and sun and air, knowing freedom never tasted so sweet.
Why would I return to space, into orbit and everlasting darkness, when this place is teeming with so much brightness and life?
There’s no danger; no responsibilities, no grief. Shouldn’t this be how we live? Without the pain and heartache that is associated with duty and obligation?
Orion’s hazel eyes glow brilliantly as he smiles and says, “This isn’t real.”
My eyebrows crinkle as another wave crashes. “What?”
He squeezes my hand. “Wake up, Zi.”
A harder squeeze. “Wake up, Zi.”
“Zellie, wake up!”
My eyes open, an orb light hovering above me, blinding me.
Disoriented, I move my head back and forth, bringing my bound hands to shield my eyes.
Shadowed heads block out the light, and I blink, making out familiar faces.
It was only a dream. A pretty dream, but not reality.
Because life is a chaotic combination of the messy, the downright awful, and the horribly good.
Like those beautiful eyes I adore, flecked with gold and ringed with blue, crinkling as I take them in.
“You’re safe, love.”