Chapter 50
Fifty
Zellie
Elio and Jada star-shot out of the bunker long before any of us woke.
Jada’s willful determination isn’t anything new, but seeing her manifest this destiny for herself scares me a little.
What does this mean for her and her future?
I don’t want her burdened with the same feelings I carry.
Yet, I didn’t ask for this and am dealing with that…
while she’s charging towards it willingly.
This isn’t about me. It’s about her. I remind myself for what must be the fifty-eighth time since she held the prophecy.
She’s free to choose, as am I. Let’s hope her path doesn’t include as much bloodshed. I am going to kill them all.
The cot beneath me does little to provide comfort.
I shift again, attempting to find a position that doesn’t feel like I’m lying on a pile of rocks.
I shouldn’t complain—this is a step up from the ground of my cell.
I exhale quietly through my nose, observing the dirt ceiling above me.
Exposed roots dangle, lightly swaying from movement above or a subtle breeze.
There’s an entire world above us. I shudder, trying not to think of the weight of everything above.
Seb has lived like this for years—I can survive a few weeks.
After what I went through, I can survive anything, right?
I close my eyes, my thoughts taking a dark turn.
Orion had called me a viper. I had felt like one.
I don’t feel like one anymore, though. I had gone into the lion’s den and had been eaten alive.
Grateful. I should be grateful to be rescued, to be alive.
But without the distraction of Jada and the prophecy and next steps, alone with my thoughts and the walls closing in…
I simply felt small. I curl my hands against my chest, savoring the freedom of the movement.
Is this what my future looks like? One traumatizing moment after another? Will I ever know peace?
The stiff fabric on the cot rustles as Orion shifts next to me.
We had snuck back to Orion’s apartment earlier to bathe, but keeping our time up above limited is our safest option.
Seb kindly reshaped his underground lair and added small separate alcoves for sleeping arrangements.
Orion and I share one, Brinn and Jada shared another, and Elio and Lando in the third.
Lando is surely tormenting Elio; thankfully, it’s not me stuck with him.
I’m not sure where Leo is lingering; it’s none of my concern, to be honest.
“Hey,” Orion’s voice calls out, raspy with sleep.
I twist my head to the side, taken aback by how someone can manage to look this good while roughing it. Surrounded by dirt, hiding from the divine order, lying on what may as well be a stiff board, and my body thrums at the sight of him. “Hey.”
“I can hear you thinking.”
My lips tilt upward. “You cannot.”
“No, but if I have to listen to that fucking cot creak one more time, I might light it on fire.”
Wincing, I offer, “Sorry.”
He sighs, adjusting himself on the uncomfortable bedframe once more. “I don’t blame you. We might be better off on the ground.”
I huff out a small laugh—he’s not wrong.
“Where do you think Seb got these things, anyway? I think they were created before plush mattresses were invented.”
I let him ramble, getting lost in the depths of my thoughts.
Orion’s toned, tan arm reaches out across the small distance between us. I extend my own, paler and more slender. We connect in the middle, our fingers interlaced. “You don’t need to be in there alone.”
I search his eyes, so full of sincerity and warmth. “In where?”
“In your head.”
“I’m not.”
“Zi—”
I clamp down my sharp retort, landing on the words everyone else has heard. No one wants to hear the gritty, dark details—they simply want the reassurance. “I’m fine, Orion. Really.”
“You’re not. No one expects you to be. And until you’re ready to talk about it, I will be here. Whatever you need, love, I’ll give it to you.”
Heart clenching, my eyes fill with tears. He deserves someone strong, capable—not someone with this tangled web of emotions and insecurities.
Orion squeezes my hand before asking, “What is it?”
I swallow the emotion down, the feeling of unworthiness. I may not be able to express what he means to me in this moment… But I can show him.