Chapter 57
Fifty-seven
Zellie
“Again.” A legion of rebels is being hosted in the basement of Brinn’s destroyed bakery.
Astrals and Celestials alike are honing their magic to the best of their ability.
Orion was right—using my magic more did make me feel stronger.
And training the citizens of Astralis? That gave me purpose.
My head has never felt clearer, something that was much needed after my spat with Leo.
He stormed away from our sparring session after my last verbal jab at him, not speaking to me since.
There’s no need, though; his words repeat in my mind on an endless loop.
I don’t know how to be anything other than angry.
I’ve spent so much time building my rage, one injustice after the other, that I’m not sure what lies underneath all those layers anymore.
Yes, I’ve been through a lot—numerous situations that are disgustingly unfair—but so have countless others.
Did I ruin my chance at happiness? There was no way I could ignore everything I learned about the Kosmos.
Perhaps the stars aligned so that everything that happened led to this.
I wasn’t meant for it with Leo, but maybe… just maybe I could have it with Orion.
Could I forgive Leo? Should I? Was what we had ever real?
I release a long exhale as I lead a group of people with fire powers through an exercise of strengthening their shields of wind.
The citizens of Astralis have used their magic throughout their entire life for basic, mundane tasks.
They’ve never sharpened the weapon at their disposal into something more aggressive, but they need to be able to defend themselves and the city, if it comes to that.
We will not be unprepared—not against Pluto, especially knowing what he is capable of.
Across the room, Orion leads a small group through a similar exercise, but instead of air power, they’re building fireballs. We will not be undefended.
Brinn tells me that the human planets are training similarly to how I trained for the Games.
On a much smaller scale, of course—and definitely no obstacle courses involving wild flames.
But still, they are strengthening their bodies and minds; something that wasn’t a priority before in our habitual existence.
These meetings are happening discreetly, of course.
The last thing the Children need is the Kosmos being tipped off about our numbers rising, and rising swiftly.
Together, we rise. Together, they’ll fall.
I smirk, instructing the Celestials and Astrals to call upon their power to shield themselves.
If we can protect ourselves, we can protect each other.
The hardened walls of air will come in handy against any weapon thrown our way.
Making my way between individuals, I push on the shields, testing for strength and durability.
If I find a weak spot, we start over. My hand passes through a Celestial’s shield, a sheen of sweat coating their brow.
I sigh, noting the exhaustion on everyone’s faces. There’s no time to be tired. We must prevail.
“Again.”
Orion and I walk through the darkened tunnel, the round slopes of the ceiling curved just above our heads. I’m a step ahead of him, my body urging me to get out of the damp and dirty dimness as fast as possible.
“Worked them a little hard tonight, don’t you think?” He calls after me.
“I’d rather you work me hard,” I mutter, not slowing my steps.
“What was that?”
“Nothing.”
He grabs my wrist, spinning me towards his body. Losing my balance, I brace myself against his chest with my free hand. “If you need someone to work you, you just need to ask for it.”
I swallow, his heated gaze spreading warmth within me.
“Maybe I can help you work some of that anger off.”
His words douse me like a bucket of frigid water. I rip my hand from his, spinning in the other direction. “I’m so fucking sick of people telling me I’m angry.”
“You are, rightfully so. Just talk to me about it, love.”
“I—” I halt, my mouth open as my brain scrambles in an effort to provide the words to describe what I’m feeling.
Orion closes the distance between us, rubbing small circles on my back supportively.
“I feel like I’m out of control, Orion. And I don’t know how to get it back.
” He remains quiet, his physical touch soothing the rush of emotions.
“I haven’t had a chance to stop. To just be.
I was thrust into these Games. I was turned into this monster.
And what he did to me… I don’t know if there’s any coming back from that. ”
I’ve fallen to my knees, and Orion mirrors the movement, kneeling in front of me and cradling me in his arms. “You are not a monster. You are a fucking goddess. If you ever think of yourself as anything less than that ever again, I’ll be forced to let Lando give you some of his tough love.”
A laugh spurts out of my mouth. “I’m not sure he’s capable of giving any form of love to anyone.”
“Healing doesn’t happen overnight, love.
No one is looking for you to pretend you’re okay.
You are allowed to just be. You are allowed to mourn and grieve and be angry.
What we are going through… No one has ever attempted what we are trying to do, Zi.
It’s an immeasurable amount of pressure.
The traumas you’ve endured, in addition to that pressure—it’s too much to carry on your own.
You don’t need to do it all alone. I’m here.
Jada is here. Cel, Brinn—we are all here for you.
You do not need to be afraid to break. We will help you pick up the pieces. Okay?”
My body shakes on silent sobs as Orion wipes tears off my cheeks.
He kisses the tip of my nose, then my forehead.
Leaning his forehead against mine, he murmurs, “Our future is full of endless happiness. Together through the darkness, together in the light. We just need to wade through the dust first.”
“Okay.”
Orion is so confident, so sure of our future, that his words help me picture it as well. The orbit never ends—we may be in the shadows of the sun at the moment, but the gravitational pull will drag us out, one way or another.