Chapter 2
TWO
Of course Joel was behind the wheel of the tow truck that pulled in front of her car half an hour later.
“Fuck my life,” she muttered, rubbing her eyes with her palms.
She lifted her gaze as he descended from the vehicle, his movements easy and assured, as if he often rescued helpless women from the side of country roads. Since it was futile to avoid the inevitable, she forced herself to open the door and step out of the car. Gravel crunched beneath her retro-inspired heeled Oxfords as she approached.
“Hi,” she greeted him, raising her hand in a pathetic wave. Without the safety of the circulation desk between them, she now felt terribly exposed.
He looked her up and down, sending a shiver through her body. “You okay?”
Ah, that explained the once-over. He was concerned, not burning with attraction.
Get your head out of the clouds and back on your body, Mallory.
“I’m fine. Just embarrassed.”
His brow pleated, and his ever-present frown deepened. “Nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“Sorry, I—uh—I didn’t realize your shop was open so late. I just took a chance and called,” she admitted.
“Sometimes my cousin Tony is there past closing time. You caught him right before he left. But we have a twenty-four-hour emergency line. You would’ve been transferred if no one had picked up.”
Still, that didn’t explain why Joel came to her aid instead of the aforementioned Tony. That circumstance niggled in the recesses of her mind as she scurried over to the passenger seat and grabbed her purse. Then she stood on the side of the road as he went to work, first checking under the hood.
“Have you had trouble with it recently?” he asked, his eyes darting around as he inspected the car’s body parts.
If only he’d inspect my body parts.
Lord, her libido was an absolute menace. She composed herself and said, “No. Although cars aren’t really my bread and butter.”
“Lucky for you, they’re mine.” After another minute of examination, he slammed the hood down. “It needs to go to the shop. I can’t fix it here.”
He prepared the tow and started fastening the wheel lift under her front tires. Fireflies lit up around him, a sign that summer was well and truly on its way. Joel appeared otherworldly as the glowing bursts encircled his impressive form, his biceps and back muscles undulating like some ancient Greek god. Old Mallory would’ve made a flirtatious little remark while admiring him—calling him Hercules or Achilles or whatever mythical hero popped into her head.
Current Mallory remained silent.
Once the front of her car was hitched to the tow, he wiped his hands on the front of his jeans and then looked around. “You have someone coming to get you?”
The question rendered her mute, but a pitiful answer formed in her brain.
No one’s coming to get me because I have no one.
She rummaged in her bag for her phone, a deliberate action to stifle the anguish eating at her dignity. “Uh, I could call Vivian?—”
“No need. I can give you a lift. Just wanted to ask before offering.”
The mere thought of sitting beside him made her stomach somersault like a gymnastics team, but there wasn’t any guarantee she could reach Vivian or even a taxi company. Might as well endure a bit of awkwardness if it meant getting home in one piece.
“Thank you,” she breathed. “I’d appreciate that.”
He nodded away her gratitude and then walked to the truck’s passenger side, opening the door for her.
It was, quite possibly, the most gentlemanly thing she’d ever seen.
Sure, the bar was so low it was literally in hell, but his thoughtfulness moved her tremendously. Trying to play it cool, she made the short trek over and hoisted herself into the seat. Soon after, he hopped into the driver’s side, and then they were en route to Honeysuckle.
A searing silence formed, the only reprieve the radio and the sound of the wind whooshing past the open windows. But as the minutes ticked away, an unspoken serenity seeped into the air, making the moment feel simple but somehow significant at the same time.
“Nice night,” Joel rumbled.
The low pitch of his voice dried her throat. Thanks to the forced proximity, she could practically feel an inherent virility pulsate from him. Her jean jacket was a small blessing, and she pulled the denim closer together, hiding how her taut nipples pressed against her knit top. Thanks to her modest 32AA cup size, those bad boys were laughably noticeable while hard.
“It is,” she mumbled, peering at him from the corner of her eye. “Very nice.”
His hands squeezed the steering wheel, and tension wound through his arms and upper body. When his head twisted toward her, Mallory averted her gaze and tried to concentrate on the rural roads. But as the wind whipped her hair and the radio serenaded them, she could’ve sworn she heard a resigned sigh from Joel.
The phone vibrating in her purse was a welcome distraction. She expected a text from her parents or perhaps a spam email but was stunned at what flashed on the home screen.
You have a like!
So much had happened in the past hour that she’d already forgotten about the silly dating app. Dumbfounded, she stuffed her phone back into her purse, but it vibrated again seconds later.
“Oh my God,” she mumbled, pulling her cell out once more. Sure enough, there was another notification.
You have a message!
“You’re popular, huh?” he stated, cutting through the silence.
“Um. No. Not really.” She shut her phone off before it could buzz for a third time. “Just this dumb app I’m already regretting downloading.”
His jaw clenched. “Ah.”
The finality of that one word suggested that the conversation had ended before it’d even truly begun. But another question from him broke through the quiet.
“Where were you coming from?”
“Book club.” Her voice was uncharacteristically falsetto, so she cleared her throat. She also seriously contemplated opening the door and doing an action-hero roll out of the car to put herself out of her misery. “We meet at a bar over in Kingston.”
“What did you read?”
To avoid another squeaky reply, she pulled the trade paperback out of her purse instead of rattling off the title. He quickly glanced over and asked, “Did you like it?”
One shoulder lifted into an indifferent shrug. “It was okay. I think the author thought the story was much deeper than it actually was, if that makes sense?”
His mouth curled up. “It does.”
As much as she appreciated his constant scowls, the little quirk of his lips was ten times more breathtaking, and she desperately wanted to behold that grin again. She could easily continue the conversation by asking about the book from last week, but discussing a story where sex was a focal point wasn’t a wise idea—not when she was stuck in a car with him and shamelessly wanted to jump his bones.
Inhaling deeply, she noted the scent of cedarwood. The masculine aroma stirred her senses further, and fantasies of them tangled up in bed billowed through her brain. But before her imagination ran wild, Vivian’s piece of gossip once again reared its ugly head. Mallory hadn’t the faintest idea what his ex-wife looked like, but her daydreams suddenly shifted from images of herself entwined with Joel to some faceless woman. So, in lieu of continuing the conversation like a mentally balanced adult, she remained quiet.
One step forward, two steps back. It seemed to be the name of the game with her.
Just when she thought things couldn’t get worse, a piece of her past intruded. The radio segued into a new tune, and familiar chords made her sick to her stomach.
The first dance.
Without thinking, she reached over and changed to another station. His eyebrows rose at her immediate reaction, his head turning a fraction to glance at her. But then he returned his attention to the road without comment.
“I’m sorry,” she apologized in a hushed tone. “That was rude.”
“It’s fine. Not a fan of that one, I guess?”
“No.” She paused, wanting to explain, but was unsure if it was appropriate. To his credit, he didn’t push, and perhaps that was what compelled her to admit the truth. “That was the first dance at my wedding. I never even liked the song, but my ex insisted on it.”
The air in the car turned heavy. When he didn’t answer immediately, she slammed her eyes closed. Painful memories emerged like a riptide, threatening to take her under—the passive-aggressive insults, masterful gaslighting, and insidious belittlement.
And the women.
The women he had insisted were just friends, acquaintances, perfect strangers. The women he said she was crazy to worry about when, really, she’d been right all along.
“I understand,” Joel eventually murmured, his words quelling the mental echoes of her past.
An undercurrent lined his delivery, suggesting that his reply wasn’t an empty mollification. Maybe he really did understand. That helped Mallory regain her composure, but the sting of the song lingered, and all she could do was focus on the roadway ahead of them. They didn’t speak again until the truck reached the exit leading toward the main business area of Honeysuckle.
“Where should I drop you?” he asked, putting on the blinker and smoothly making the turn.
“Black Cat Bakery is fine. I live in the apartment upstairs.”
In next to no time, he pulled up outside her building. Mallory unbuckled her seat belt and finally faced him. Moonlight filtered into the truck and emphasized the faint five o’clock shadow on the slopes of his cheekbones. Compassion blossomed in his eyes, but it never morphed into pity, and that was the sole reason why she held his gaze.
The way he studied her was different—his frown wasn’t as pronounced, his brow not as furrowed. He stared with quiet contemplation, as if she was a puzzle he was finally starting to piece together. And while dozens of questions bounced in his soulful brown eyes, he waited for her to take the lead.
“Thanks for the ride,” she said, tugging idly at a strand of her long hair. “And for coming out so late.”
“It’s no problem. I’ll try to take a look at your car tomorrow. We have a few customers ahead of you, but I’ll do my best to get to it.”
“Should I stop by and fill out some paperwork? Make a payment? I’m not really sure how this works.” She laughed sheepishly and scratched her head. “I’m used to subway delays, not broken-down cars.”
There was that small smile again. Butterflies flapped violently in her stomach as he shifted in his seat and pulled a business card from his back pocket. And, once again, their fingers grazed as he passed it over. At least this time she didn’t pull away like she’d foolishly grabbed a hot plate. Instead, she calmly slipped the business card into her purse and then removed her car key from her keychain.
Now it was her turn to hand something over and endure another brush of skin. But this time, he hesitated for a fraction of a second, wiping his hands once more on his jeans before he took the key. His fingers were long and broad, the nails cut to the quick. They were always streaked with grease despite his attempts to clean them, and dirt lingered beneath the nails, but they were proof of physical labor. Evidence of a man who wasn’t afraid to get the job done. His hands were as captivating as the rest of him.
“We’ll settle payment when the work is done. You can call the shop for an update,” he said, placing her key in his pocket for safekeeping. “The number’s listed there. Or I can just touch base when I see you tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” she sputtered.
“At the library?”
Tomorrow was Friday. She’d nearly forgotten. Two Joel encounters in one week. Would wonders never cease? At least she could partake in full conversations with him now, even if they were fraught with awkwardness.
Progress. Give yourself some credit.
“Of course, tomorrow. Sounds good.” She opened the door and stepped down from the truck. “Thanks again.”
“Good night, Mallory.”
Her name on his lips almost made her stumble off the curb. How exhilarating to know she was a real person to him—something more than just the librarian. But between that, the compliment on her hair, and how he’d rescued her from the side of the road, her feelings were dangerously close to advancing from innocent crush to full-blown obsession.
Thank God for dating apps.
“Good night, Joel.” She closed the door of the truck and started toward the staircase that led to her second-story apartment.
“Hey, Mallory?”
His voice stopped her in her tracks, her stomach jumping as she turned around. The windows were still down, and he leaned over to address her, keeping his pitch low.
“No one really noticed your hair?” he asked, the question laced with incredulity.
Almost a week later, and he still looked perturbed on her behalf. It was a bit twisted to find pleasure in his irritation, but it was somehow akin to a warm hug. Isolation had been the sum of her life for far too long—first when her ex-husband masterfully separated her from her family and friends, and then when she moved upstate to start over on her own. Work and book club helped alleviate some of the disconnect, but she never felt like anyone was in her corner.
Joel’s frustration that no one noticed her hair was probably the best she’d get. So she savored it, holding it close to her heart.
“People noticed tonight,” she told him with a reassuring nod. “Better late than never.”
His chest deflated as he released a massive breath. “Good. That’s good.”
Awareness teemed in her blood as she ascended the stairs to her apartment. When she placed the key in the knob, her eyes flickered down to the street. The truck idled there, waiting for her, and it didn’t peel off until her door was closed and she was safely inside.
If only book club wasn’t rife with town gossip. If only she’d never heard the name Christine. Because if Mallory didn’t know any better, she might start to think she had a chance with him.
Luckily, the Honeysuckle Public Library was within walking distance from her apartment. Before heading to work, Mallory stopped at the bakery to order a coffee and pastry from Karla, and the rest of the morning passed without incident.
Except for how her phone continued to blow up with dating app notifications. She hadn’t expected to get so much interest, nor did she think there’d be so many single men in her region. Because of the overwhelming response, she hadn’t answered any messages yet. But she had a plan for that night—pick up some sushi, crack open the bottle of white wine chilling in her fridge, and then dive into vetting profiles and crafting replies. Surprisingly, Mallory was actually looking forward to it.
Until that time, she focused on work. The library belonged to a consortium, allowing for patrons to request books from other public libraries in the county and easily retrieve them from their local branch. The transport van stopped by that afternoon, and Mallory was sorting through the stack of requested books when Joel walked in, right on time for his regular Friday visit.
And because she was a walking disaster, the entire pile of books tumbled to the floor. Apparently, that was her new schtick when it came to him—avoid eye contact, stammer, drop books, wash, rinse, repeat. She yelped and knelt down, wishing against common sense that he hadn’t noticed, but he hurried over to the circulation counter.
“You okay?” he asked.
“I’m fine,” she squeaked. Then she laughed manically, because why not go for broke and really embarrass herself? “Clearly, I’m a terrible Jenga player.”
That pitiful joke amused him if the tiny smile was any indication. He placed his book into the returns slot and waited until she got the rogue pile of novels back under control.
“We’re a little slammed at the moment, but your car should be ready by tomorrow,” he told her.
“Oh, good. That’s great. Awesome.”
One of those would have sufficed, numbnuts.
She bit her bottom lip to cease her rambling, but his eyes dipped to her mouth. And that didn’t help douse the fire that constantly threaded through her at the mere sight of him. Unfortunately, she wasn’t wearing her denim jacket today, and her nipples puckered against her emerald silk blouse. She crossed her arms over her chest, hoping his eyes wouldn’t sink lower.
“We have reduced hours on Saturday. Open until three. Are you here the whole day tomorrow?” he asked.
Indeed she was, as library hours were nine to five, Monday through Saturday. “Uh, I’ll see if I can come by on my lunch break…”
He shook his head easily. “Just head over whenever you can. We’ll probably still be there, just not taking customers past three.”
“Okay, sure. I’ll do that.”
Conversation over, he headed to the new-releases shelf, and his large hands perused the hardbacks, opening the front covers to skim the blurbs. He handled each one so carefully, and her mind wandered to how those same hands would handle her willing body.
As he drifted deeper into the stacks and out of sight, Mallory refocused on the tasks at hand. Minutes passed as she sent email notifications to patrons who’d requested books, then situated the copies on the pickup shelf behind the circulation desk. Soon, a delicious shiver coasted up her spine, and she peered over her shoulder. Joel was back at the counter, ready to check out his new book.
“All set?” she chirped, attempting a level of casualness she didn’t achieve. Especially once her eyes widened like a cartoon character when she saw what he’d selected.
It was the same novel she’d shown him last night—the latest book club selection. In fact, she’d put that exact copy back on the shelf that morning, having returned it herself.
“Figured I’d see for myself how deep it is,” he said.
Mallory could’ve sworn there was a hint of huskiness in his voice, but when she caught his gaze, his face was the same as always—slight frown, intense stare, nothing out of the ordinary. So she mentally dispelled that wishful thought and scanned his library card.
“You’ll have to let me know what you think,” she said, tucking the receipt between the pages.
“I’ll do that.”
She handed the book over, as it would be asinine to continue avoiding any skin-to-skin contact. The gentle brushes of their fingers were becoming downright ordinary. Nothing to get in a tizzy about.
Yeah, tell that to your nether regions.
Joel tucked the book under his arm, and his eyes shifted downward to her cell phone sitting next to the keyboard. Another notification from the dating app lit up the home screen, and she quickly turned the phone over.
“Sorry. How unprofessional,” she uttered, embarrassed beyond belief.
He didn’t acknowledge her apology with anything other than his usual scowl, which seemed to have intensified. Eventually, he swallowed thickly and said, “See you tomorrow.”
“Yes. Tomorrow.”
Then he was out the door, giving her one last shot of his bite-worthy backside before she went back to work. The after-school crowd barreled in a few hours later, and Vivian finally emerged from the storage room she’d been working in all day. She plopped into the chair beside Mallory and sighed wearily.
“Nothing exhausts me more than the book sale,” Vivian said, stretching her arms above her head.
The biannual book fair was the library’s biggest fundraiser. The last sale had occurred mere weeks before Mallory joined the team, back when she’d been crafting lattes alongside Karla at the bakery. She’d taken any job available when she first moved to Honeysuckle, desperate to pay the bills. In addition to being a barista, she’d also worked as a dog nanny for the Burton family, who owned the grandest house in town.
But when Julie, the longtime circulation supervisor, decided to retire, word got to Mallory. She had prayed for months that she’d somehow wiggle onto the library staff, and the stars aligned perfectly. Considering her past experience as associate director of adult programs at the city library’s main branch, she was a shoo-in for the job—was honestly overqualified when it came down to it.
And yet, there was a bone-deep need to prove she was an invaluable asset to Vivian. Mallory’s life revolved around this building, and it was imperative to do whatever she could to hold on to it.
“I had an idea, actually,” Mallory began.
Vivian’s eyes sparkled. “You know how I love your ideas.”
“What do you think about organizing a silent auction? I can solicit donations from local businesses. Gift cards, things like that. Could be a good way to boost funds.”
“Brilliant, as always. Run with it. Let me know if you need any help shaking down storefronts,” Vivian added with a grin. “And you know what I realized? Next Saturday is also your six-month anniversary.”
Mallory glanced at the desk calendar. “Oh, wow. You’re right.”
“We have to do a formal evaluation. Let’s plan for the following Monday since the sale will keep us busy.”
She gulped at the words formal evaluation . Like many jobs, the library had a six-month probationary period. Yet another reason why she’d gone above and beyond—coming in early, leaving late, and spearheading programming efforts. Anything to show that she deserved to stay. Deserved to belong.
“Sounds good,” Mallory replied with a restless nod.
Vivian noticed her unease and gave her a supportive smile. “Just a formality. Nothing to worry about. Hell, you’ll be running this place in my stead one day.”
The assurance alleviated some of her nerves, but not all. Her time in Honeysuckle had provided a smidgen of stability, but a large piece of her still felt terribly unmoored. As if everything she’d worked so hard to establish could disappear in a single instant. The rug had been ripped out from under her once before, and now she lived with that possibility forever in the back of her mind.
Maybe she’d finally feel some semblance of security once her probationary period was in the rearview mirror. Maybe she could relearn to trust people after her sense of self was razed to the ground. Maybe the old Mallory she yearned for could be revived.
Maybe, maybe, maybe.
When she returned home later that evening, she toed off her flats and donned her house slippers. Sushi was ordered and wine was poured, and she opened the windows to let the evening breeze into the ordinary one-bedroom apartment. After dinner arrived, she settled on the couch and waded through the app messages.
There were a few creeps, a few with questionable politics, and one whose features reminded her way too much of her father. But two profiles held promise, so she sent basic replies to both. The entire process was draining, but a sense of accomplishment bubbled within her once she finished.
More progress.
But through it all, she tried not to think about cruising down the country roads with Joel at her side.