24. Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Four
Tage
The water is warm, but not as warm as the air around us. It’s been a long time since I’ve been to Florida, and I forgot how hot it gets here. It’s a nice change from the chill that’s setting into Chicago, with fall just hitting us.
Lane and I sit on the inner ledge, the water at our chests. This isn’t the kind of pool you swim in; it’s for relaxing, and nothing more. A place to cool down and sit and enjoy being alone.
Two lounge chairs are set up on the patio with a table between them. Behind them, is a path that leads to the private section of beach assigned to this house. Palm trees and sand surround us. It isn’t a big space, but it’s enough for a wonderful weekend.
I’ve never been to a place like this as an adult. I’ve done my fair share of traveling to fancy places, but this isn’t fancy. Not in the way I’m used to. This isn’t some expensive hotel with snobby staff.
This is the exact thing I enjoy. Lane is right when he says he knows me. And it is a surprise, because I’m not used to it. I was around people for my whole life and they didn’t know me even a fraction of the way Lane does.
And I know him too—now. I judged him hard when I first met him, but he’s proved me wrong on every single level.
Since I’ve allowed him in, I haven’t regretted it.
Not for a single second. He gives me space when I need it.
He pushes me when I need it. All of this without a single explanation on my part.
He just… does it. Sure, sometimes he crosses the line, but only to be playful.
Sometimes annoying, but it isn’t in a way that makes me mad.
I’m not sure what time it is, but I know it’s late. We’ve been in the water for hours, and it was already late when we got here. I’m not tired though. I slept enough on the plane and in the car.
Back home, a weekend away felt like such a long time to spend. Now that we’re here, night one already behind us, it feels like it’s all ending too soon. We still have the whole day tomorrow and Sunday, but it doesn’t seem like enough.
I don’t even know why I’m complaining because this is my choice. If it were up to him, we’d be doing things like this every day. I’m the reason we don’t; the reason we sleep at our own places instead of together, even though when I’m away from him I miss him.
Lane wants to spoil me, but I won’t let him—not fully. Not the way he really wants to. Because I don’t want him to push his money on me. I don’t want him to try to win my love with money.
I want the life I’ve built, but I also want this—everything he’s giving me, or what he wants to give me, but I won’t allow. Why can’t I have both?
Lane would give me anything I wanted. I know that. But what I want doesn’t really make sense, and I don’t know how to put it into words or explain it without digging into my past—which I don’t want to do. I left Boston and said I was leaving it all behind. I meant that.
I rest my head on his shoulder and find his hand under the water. I close my eyes and breathe. Behind the chlorine, I can smell him. A hint of his cologne and that smell that’s only him.
Lane is different. He’s not what I’m used to. He’s a good man and he isn’t going to use his money against me or treat me like shit because of it. He doesn’t have any expectations for me. He accepts me as who I am.
Yet I’m still holding back.
Maybe I just need more time.
“Are you tired?” I ask.
“No,” he says. “Just very relaxed.”
“Me too.” It’s silent for a moment. “How do you keep from getting stressed out at work?”
“What’s to get stressed about?” he says in that same calm tone.
“I don’t know. Most CEOs are dicks.”
“I don’t think that has anything to do with stress. If their job is stressful, then their business isn’t running properly and their staff suck.”
I breathe out a laugh. “Why are you such a good person?”
The words come out so soft that I don’t know if he heard me over the pump. But he pulls me closer and starts to speak.
“My father was very tough on me, but I spent most of my time with my mother, and she was the kindest, most humble woman you could have ever met, despite my father being quite arrogant. Likely the typical CEO you have in your head.”
“They sound like very different people.” He nods in agreement. “How did they end up together?”
“Arranged marriage.”
“Ah,” I mutter. “Crazy that people still do that.”
“Yeah, it is. My mother did her best, but I know she wasn’t happy. Not with him. With me? She loved me.” I hear the smile in his voice, and I know he truly means that. He still feels the love from his mother. “How about your parents?”
He’s never asked about personal stuff before.
He said he knows he needs to let me open up to him, but if we’re talking about future plans and our lives together, shouldn’t he know?
It just feels so… I don’t know. It’s something I want to talk about, that much I know.
Because how do I explain it? It makes me sound like a spoiled brat, but that’s far from what I am.
“They’re both assholes,” is what I say.
The finality in my tone is enough to have him change directions.
Thankfully.
“I guess that’s why you don’t talk about them and are so stuck on wanting your own children.”
“Has anyone ever told you that maybe you should have been a therapist?”
He laughs. “No, actually. Haven’t heard that one before. But that’s probably because I talk to you the most.”
“What about other partners?”
“No other partners,” he says with a shake of his head.
“None?”
“Dated, yes. But this is… more than that, and I’ve never done this with anyone else before.”
“Yeah,” I say, leaning closer to him. “It is.”
He doesn’t ask any more questions, and I can’t tell if it’s because he knows I don’t want to talk about it or if he’s just taking it easy on me and saving it for another day. This conversation is inevitable if we’re going to be together. Maybe I should start preparing what I’m going to say.
When we finally decide to go inside to get ready for bed, it’s nearly three am. There’s no doubt he’ll still wake up with the sun and not let his lack of sleep affect his mood. It’s some kind of super power he has. Always positive. I wonder if anything could make him angry?