Elias
This sucks.
I suck.
Bridget hasn’t replied to any of my messages, and I guess that’s telling. They didn’t come across as desperate as I felt, and I only know that because I’m currently sitting on the couch at my brother’s place while Isobel and Avery dissect my messages.
When I came over after almost two weeks of sulking, Avery was already here, and in order to explain why we were fighting I had to tell her the truth.
She was hurt I didn’t tell her but she was more upset at what I had done. Yeah, you and me both, I thought.
“Okay, so it’s not completely unhinged…” Avery mumbles. “A little sad boy, maybe, but that can be endearing…” She pauses. “Would Bridget find it endearing?”
I shrug, because I wouldn’t know.
Isobel side eyes me and huffs out a breath. “Have you tried calling?” I nod. “No answer?”
“I only called twice. I didn’t want to seem like a complete loser.”
“I’m not sure calling is the reason you’re a loser,” Avery mumbles under her breath. “Pretty sure you’re just a dumb idiot.”
“I can hear you,” I grumble.
“Good.”
Oscar looks over from where he’s sitting in the armchair with an amused look on his face. “Don’t want to sound like an asshole—”
“When don’t you?” I reply.
“But I told you so.” Isobel laughs. “I told you someone would get hurt, and you wouldn’t listen because you’re so damn stubborn.”
“Agreed,” Avery pipes up.
“Now look where we are—you’re being a sad boy on my couch and taking all of my woman’s attention from me,” Oscar adds.
Isobel rolls her eyes, but I don’t miss the loving look she sends his way.
That was Bridget and me not long ago, sharing secret smiles and lingering touches. It’s weird how quickly I became used to, reliant, on her and her company, that mere days apart sends me into frenzy. The first few days were the worst, waiting by my phone while I hoped for her a reply.
For anything.
Unfortunately, she hasn’t even so much as read my messages, and I’m left waiting.
Waiting for her to realize that I’m not a colossal piece of shit and that I’m still worthwhile—that we are.
Selfishly, I hadn’t really considered that she might not take what I have to say well, or that it might not be what she had in mind… but she would’ve been happy anyway.
I would do it over and over again, if it meant I got to have you.
God, I really am a dumb idiot.
My eyes clench shut as I hear her words play in a loop in my head, the way her bottom lip quivered when she spoke, and the look of disbelief and disappointment in her eyes when she walked away.
It was the kind of disappointment I’d expect from my mom if she ever found out about this sham, and that thought alone makes me sick to my stomach.
“Can you snap out of it?” Avery comments, snapping her fingers in front of my face. “It’s freaking me out, seeing you so…sad.”
Isobel elbows her in the side. “Be nice, he’s heartbroken.”
“It’s his fault, I have no sympathy.”
“He’s not good with his words.”
“He’s a grown-ass man,” Avery retorts. “Stop defending him.”
I let out a loud grown and hide my face behind my hands.
“I get it, Ave, I fucked up. Trust me, I know, and if I could take it back, I would. Because I hate how I reacted and how my actions fucked things up with my favourite person, but I can’t.
If I was her, I wouldn’t answer me either. I’m getting what I deserve.”
Isobel, Oscar, and Avery all share a look.
“Elias,” Isobel says softly. “This isn’t beyond repair, you know that, right?
Nothing you said isn’t fixable. Relationships aren’t black and white.
There are always obstacles and hurdles, but you get through it together.
I’m sure Bridget has had her fair share of fights in previous relationships, and I’m sure she knows that sometimes letting the dust settle can be the best thing. ”
“You think she’s letting things cool off?”
“I can’t be completely sure, but it seems likely.
From the times we’ve spent with her, she doesn’t strike me as the type to give up so easily.
I’m sure she’s just hurting. I can’t imagine how shitty it must feel to hear someone you love, tell you that they don’t know if they want to be with you anymore. ”
“I didn’t say those exact words.”
“No, but you might as well have.”
Avery nods in agreement. “It’s not necessarily the words but sometimes the insinuation. If that was me, I’d have thought the same thing.”
“I think you’ve just gotta bite the bullet and reach out,” Oscar says. “I think if you leave this argument hanging over your heads for too long, neither one of you will want to reach out and you risk it being bigger than it already is.”
“Since when are you so wise?” I grumble.
Oscar shrugs. “Always, you’ve just never noticed,” he replies. “I think you need to come up with a way to extend an olive branch and mend things with her.”
Just as I’m about to respond, there’s a knock at the door.
Avery jumps up and rushes to it and I narrow my eyes at my brother, who won’t look at me. “That better not be who I think it is.”
He shrugs and stands. “Sorry, bro, I had to call reinforcements.”
I grind my teeth, but before I can say anything, Patrick is helping my mom over to the couch. She looks down at me knowingly, and I’ve never wanted to wring my brother’s neck more than I do now.
Isobel squeezes my shoulder as she gets up and the three traitors leave the room. Patrick takes Oscar’s chair and clears his throat as he gets comfortable.
Oh boy.
“Hello, darling,” Mom says softly. “Your brother says you’re depressed.”
Oh, that little shit.
And I hear Oscar’s faint chuckle from the kitchen.
“I’m not depressed,” I tell her. “I’m fine.”
“So you’re not heartbroken?”
I sigh. “What exactly did Oscar tell you?”
Her eyes soften. “Why don’t you tell me? I’d like to hear it from you.”
“Bridget and I had a fight…” I start and wait to see her reaction but she just shoots me a look of encouragement. “It was silly, really. I said some things I shouldn’t have—things I didn’t really mean—and I hurt her.”
Patrick and Mom share a look, and he nods. “I think it’s time we come clean about something,” he says
I frown when Mom chuckles under her breath. “Yes, I think we better put him out of his misery.” I look down at where her hand lands on my knee. “Darling, we know about the two of you.”
“What about us?”
“That you aren’t really together, silly.”
Dread fills my stomach at her words and I feel myself tensing.
Patrick gestures for Mom to continue.
“Elias, we know you better than anyone. You tell the two of us everything and you have never hidden a girlfriend from us, let alone a fiancée. Pat told me I was reading too much into it, but I know my son, and I knew you weren’t telling me something.
” She pauses and then laughs. “When you brought her to the house for the first time, I knew for certain. You were so hesitant around each other, like you didn’t know what to do with yourselves, and when it came to saying goodbye, I knew I needed to push you both.
When I suggested you kiss, I half expected you to make up some excuse, but when you did, I knew it was the start of something. ”
Patrick nods along with a chuckle. “We waited weeks for you to slip up or just come out and tell us it was all a show, but you never did. You both got so good at pretending, and I don’t think either of you realized when you stopped.
And when you came to Nelson we could sense the change.
We see how you look at each other, Eli, and it’s a beautiful thing to see. You seem so happy, son.”
I can’t fight the smile that tugs at my lips as I shake my head. “So…you knew all this time?”
“It’s obvious you both care about each other, but I think you both need to figure out the next step yourselves,” Mom says as she reaches across the table to hold my hand in her own.
“You don’t need to get married to make me happy, Elias.
We can see how happy you are and knowing you’ve found someone as amazing as her makes me proud to call you my son.
You’re both full of so much love, and I just know you’ll figure it out how to share it with one another. ”
Patrick smiles. “You’ve just got to trust in your relationship and everything you feel for her.”
This is a bad idea.
A bad fucking idea.
Well, no, it isn’t. I’m just being a loser.
From where I stand on the pavement, I can see the light on in her apartment and I thank my lucky stars she’s awake. I did enlist Natalie’s help, so I know she’s home but it doesn’t make seeing her any less daunting.
In hindsight, I shouldn’t have left this much time sit after our fight, but I’m an idiot and didn’t know how to approach it.
I debate turning around, getting back into my car and driving back home but Mom’s words come back and hit me square in the chest.
You’re both full of so much love, and I just know that you’ll figure it out how to share it with one another.
God, loving Bridget is the easiest thing I’ve ever done, and she needs to know this is real—in every fucking way possible.
I shake my shoulders and step toward her building when the door flings open.
Bridget stands in front of me with her mouth popped open, like she can’t believe I’m standing here. She looks down at her sweatpants and striped shirt and throws her arms over her chest.
“Eli,” she breathes out. “I wasn’t expecting you.”
I shrug softly. “That was kind of the whole point. I wanted to surprise you.”
Her smile is soft as she tucks her hair behind her ear. “Well, you succeeded.”
“Can I—”
“Did you—”
We both start at the same time and I chuckle. “Go ahead,” I say to her, and seeing the light blush that covers her cheeks has me feeling hopeful.
“Do you want to come inside?” She seems hesitant, like she’s worried I’ll say no. “You don’t have to, I just thought—”
“Lead the way.”