14. Jude
Jude climbed onto Giselle”s porch, shaking off the mist of the marine layer from his hair and coat. The good weather lasted long enough for the New Year”s fireworks before the gloom and fog rolled back in, claiming the first days of January.
Sneaking a glance at his reflection in the window, Jude raked his fingers through his hair and brushed the slightly shaggy ends from his eyes. He debated stopping for a haircut before visiting Giselle, but his mom playfully scolded him to, ”go see his girlfriend.”
The last thing either of them needed was for someone to think he was avoiding her, so Jude hopped in his car.
”Her car”s home, so she should be here,” Jude said to himself as he knocked on the door, leaning against the outside doorframe. The lights glowed from inside, and when he listened closer, he heard faint scuffling through the door. ”Giselle, you in there?”
His family left California for their annual Christmas gathering, flying out to the extended family in Connecticut. While away, Jude and Giselle fell into an aimless game of text tag where messages idled with hours between responses. But on Christmas Eve, Giselle left him this adorable, rambling voicemail.
Despite being several minutes long, Jude replayed the recording countless times that night. He earned teasing from this during breakfast the following day, where everyone learned about Giselle Courtland. However, they knew the ”Jude”s girlfriend” version of her; he kept the rest to himself, sworn to him like a secret.
Jude went to knock again, but the door swung open to reveal the always radiant but visibly perplexed Giselle.
Her hair shimmered under the overhead light, spilling from its high pile on her head in tendrils of fire around her face. The flash of a bright white clip anchored around the back of her head appeared and vanished within seconds, hidden when Giselle smoothed her hair down. Otherwise, the adorable red gingerbread pajama pants and a worn red cardigan over a tank top promised a cozy night in.
”Happy belated holidays—”
”Jude! Oh my god!”
Giselle”s jaw dropped seconds before she pounced, launching into Jude. She grappled onto him, arms curled over his neck nice and snug. Luckily, Jude caught on fast and gripped her hips to hold her steady.
”Hi,” Jude chuckled, feeling Giselle”s feet brush off the ground instead of straining on her tiptoes to reach him. ”Did you order a handsome gentleman for Christmas?”
”You”re almost two weeks late. I should get a refund,” Giselle mumbled. She buried her face into his chest, clad in a brand-new sweater from his Aunt Sally. He liked the shirt, too.
”Maybe I”ll stay for a couple hours and compensate for my lateness?”
”That depends. Are you a broccoli and cheddar soup fan?”
”Giselle, I”m a fan of anything you cook,” Jude said. He tucked his head down until his nose pressed into the crown of Giselle”s hair. The overwhelming citrus scent wafted off her in palpable waves, akin to a sweet mixed drink on a hot summer”s day. Maybe it was her perfume or the touch of her favorite shampoo, but the unknown florals and citrus screamed Giselle down to her core. ”You could feed me bugs you picked from your garden, and I”d clean my plate.”
Giselle pulled her head back enough for Jude to witness the grossed-out crinkle of her nose. Yet her eyes sparkled too bright to be honestly disgusted, betraying her amusement.
”No bugs are on the menu tonight. Oh, and are you a chocolate chip guy or open to some festive peppermint white chocolate brownies? I’ve been baking all day,” asked Giselle, lips curving into a wide smile.
”Both sound so good, but you can’t go wrong with the classics,” Jude agreed, setting Giselle onto her feet. He let her take his hand and pull him inside, away from the darkened, overcast skies and the cold pressing against his skin.
Immediately, the mouthwatering promise of dinner with chocolate chip cookies for dessert greeted his senses. The aroma escaped through the door, swept away by the wind until Giselle kicked it shut. Warmth enveloped him in its full embrace, but half of it came from the interconnected twine of his hand with Giselle”s.
Jude followed her, disengaged from Giselle when she slipped her hand from his. However, he didn”t complain when noticing a tiny figure of orange striped fur and pink paws pointed toward the ceiling.
Carrot rolled to the side, staring at him, and meowed. Stretching out, the cat trotted up to Jude and rubbed against his leg. His meows demanded attention until Jude”s fingers scratched under his chin.
”I missed you, too,” Jude whispered, smiling hard when Carrot chomped on one of his fingers but quickly licked over the same spot. There wasn”t a single thought in Carrot”s head, but he made up for it in cuteness.
Jude rifled through the deep pockets of his trench coat until he grasped the plastic container he stuffed in there. He pulled the box out, revealing a small thing of cat grass.
Jude chuckled when Carrot”s ears snapped backward, sitting on the floor with the excited cat sniffing the present. He barely removed the lid before Carrot lunged toward the cat grass, burying his nose into the tall green stems.
Jude set Carrot”s present onto the floor and backed away before Carrot tackled the cat grass. He left Carrot to his own devices to slide onto his favorite stool.
Giselle had her back to him, pushing onto her tiptoes to peer into the giant, pastel-colored pot simmering on the stove. She hummed a sweet tune half-under her breath, fading in and out of Jude”s hearing range when her voice dipped too low.
”So, have you decided to keep Carrot, or is he a guest tonight?” Jude leaned onto his elbows, studying Giselle”s effortless movements through the small kitchen.
”I haven”t fully decided,” Giselle admitted, back still facing Jude while she stirred the soup. ”Confession time: I didn”t use all the money you loaned me for a dress and shoes. I skipped the shoes and used the rest of the change for Carrot”s vet check-up. The vet gave him some flea treatments, neutered him, and found him otherwise healthy. I”m considering either keeping him for good or finding him a different forever home. . . I hope you”re not mad about the shoes.”
”How could I be mad? You used the money for a good cause, and Carrot seems happy. If you want my vote, I say keep him.”
”I want to. I do.”
”Did the vet find a microchip?”
”None, but he”s decently socialized for a stray. Someone might”ve abandoned him.”
Jude scooted the chair closer to the counter, sitting taller when Giselle spun around with a soup ladle. ”So, then what”s stopping you?”
Giselle rested by the sink, hands in the basin and drowning under a stream of cold water. Her gaze landed on Jude, sighing, ”Honestly, I don”t know. Carrot deserves a good home, and I”ve never had a pet before, so I”m worried I won”t be a good owner.”
”Giselle, can I tell you that you have nothing to worry about, and that sounds ridiculous?”
”Please.”
”Knowing you, a girl with the most nurturing spirit, Carrot deserves someone who loves like you.” Jude reached his hand across the counter, and Giselle didn”t hesitate to grasp it.
Jude flipped her hand over, noticing a small red spot against the side of her palm. He traced it, seeing Giselle”s tiny flinch when his finger grazed the red spot. Stove burn?
He released her hand, and she stuck her palm back under the cold water. With her attention circling the drain, Jude took stock of the home. Despite Christmas having come and gone, the holiday décor hung around the living room in festive garlands, fabric snowflakes, and a small Christmas tree tucked into the corner with a lone gift underneath it.
He glanced toward Giselle again. ”So, how was your holiday? Did your family do a gift exchange or a Christmas meal together?”
”Uh, the holiday was great. We don”t plan a big celebration, or anything fancy for holidays,” Giselle replied, but her tone danced along a curt edge. Nervousness threaded through the undercurrent and stitched her words together sloppily, hasty in her push to get them out.
”Yeah? I”m sure you had a good time.”
”A great time. But enough about me and my staycation! Didn”t you travel cross-country to see your family? I”m sure you had an amazing time visiting your relatives!”
Jude hummed, ”The family settled on the east coast to stay at one of our relatives” houses instead of a trip abroad at some fancy chalet. I”m on the older end of the cousins, so maybe two others and I could go out and do adult things. I do miss some of them, but I like California better.”
Giselle shook her head, still not looking at him. ”I can”t imagine how exciting a trip to Europe would”ve been.”
By then, Jude stepped down from the stool at the counter and inched around to the kitchen slowly so as not to startle Giselle. He crossed the threshold and waited for her to ease the water off, turning to grab her damp hands a dish towel.
As expected, Giselle spotted him no longer seated and paused in her tracks. Her hands hesitantly grasped the dish towel and dried off, still eyeing Jude with shock coloring her features an ashen gray.
”You know,” Jude tucked his hands into the deep pockets of his coat, rocking on his heels. ”You”re welcome to be my plus-one on any trips my family hosts throughout the year. My parents adore you and wouldn”t stop asking about you, to the point where even my ninety-year-old great aunt knows your name.”
With each word, he inched closer to Giselle. Her gaze flitted between his face and her hands, wrapped in a dish towel.
She swallowed. ”A generous offer, but I couldn”t impose for the sake of appearances. I don’t have the funds at my disposal to pay my way, and I can’t let you subsidize this entire pretend relationship. Your family has been so good to me, and the last thing I want to do is act like a leech, especially since we’ve talked about how to stage the breakup.”
Any lingering doubt crashed hard; something was bothering her, and Jude planned to get to the bottom of whatever had Giselle pulling back from him.
”What”s wrong?” Jude whispered.
”Wrong? Nothing”s wrong. Everything”s great,” Giselle replied. Jude might”ve believed that if her eyes could meet his for more than two seconds instead of darting off the nearby walls.
”Okay, so you”d tell me if something bothered you, right? I might be a fake boyfriend, but I”m your friend. It”s my duty to be your shoulder to cry on.” Jude removed the dish towel from her hands, revealing the burn splotch from before.
”I promise that everything is great. Why wouldn”t everything be great when my parents went out of town for the holidays and I spent Christmas alone? For the third year in a row.” Everything burst forth in a searing rush of rambling from Giselle, bringing the unsteady silence down in a violent crash.
Jude”s jaw dropped. ”Alone? You spent Christmas alone? Giselle, you should”ve told me. I would”ve been on the first flight back to California within the day.”
”And be responsible for ruining your vacation with your family? I couldn”t live with that. Besides, Carrot and I had a good time with a Christmas movie marathon watching all the cheesiest holiday rom-coms.”
”Okay, but have you considered that me flying back or me paying for you and Carrot to visit the East Coast would be way better than me finding out you were alone during fucking Christmas?”
”It”s in the past now.”
”Is it? Giselle, you look on the verge of tears.”
Giselle”s tense shoulders and hard blinks gave her away. Still, she shook her head. ”I knew they had other holiday plans, so I expected it. Sure, it stings a little still, but there”s no point in complaining. I”m okay.”
She said the last part with half-decent conviction, but who was she hoping to convince? Jude or herself?
Giselle tipped her face away. Tears dampened her cheeks, and her hands retreated into her cardigan, curling the fabric into tight fists.
Jude turned her back to him. Giselle”s protests died on her lips when he gently traced his thumb over her cheeks, wiping away her tears. A defeated noise escaped her instead, and Giselle crumbled into him, giving up on pretending.
”It”s okay if you want to cry. If you need to cry. But I”m not letting you accept that shitty excuse for Christmas plans. We”re having a do-over tonight with dinner, cookies, and whatever Christmas movie you want,” Jude whispered, but he didn”t plan on accepting ”no” for an answer.
“Thank you.” Soft-spoken, Giselle wrapped her arms around his waist, sinking into a hug.
”No need to thank me. My mom would consider burying me in the backyard if she found out I didn”t help you do over the holidays.” Jude rubbed Giselle”s back with soft strokes over the cardigan slipping off her shoulders.
”We wouldn”t want that.” Giselle giggled.
”Definitely not. Since I”m half-decent at this fake boyfriend thing, let me start this evening right. I bought you a present.” Jude stuffed his hand into his trench coat pockets, digging around.
In the opposite pocket of the cat grass, his fingers brushed against a velvet box large enough for jewelry. He revealed the dark blue box to Giselle, who gasped quietly.
”Jude, I can”t possibly accept—” Giselle choked when Jude flipped open the box, revealing a matching pair of emerald earrings and a heart-shaped necklace accentuated by the golden chain.
”Well, I”m hoping you can change your mind because I can”t accept your refusal.”
”But it looks so expensive. Way too expensive!”
”Giselle, please let me treat you to something.”
”Jude. Please. I shouldn”t.”
”Ah, so it”s shouldn”t now? Can I convince you to keep it by saying I didn”t ask for a gift receipt, so I can”t return it?” Jude murmured and rattled the box to the twinkling jingle of the earrings.
Giselle chewed on her lower lip and stared at him; brows furrowed downward. ”While that”s a little irresponsible, I”ll accept the gift. . . but only on the condition that you accept your gift under the Christmas tree.”
”Deal.” Jude grinned hard, victoriously handing her the box. ”Let me put the necklace on you, at least. It”s more of a special occasion accessory, but this counts as one.”
”Alright. You”ve earned that much.” Giselle extracted the necklace from the box, dropping the chain into Jude”s fingers. She spun around, and Jude slid the necklace around her neck, clasping his gift shut.
”How does it feel?”
”It fits perfectly, not too tight.”
”Good.” Jude ran his thumb along the back of the chain, testing the clasp”s strength before letting go. Giselle turned, and the necklace glinted in the kitchen”s lights, sparkling like Giselle deserved.
Giselle curtseyed with her mouth, sporting the first genuine smile Jude had seen since his arrival. She nudged him. ”Head over to the couch and find your gift. I”ll pour us some soup, and we”ll put on a movie.”
”Yes, ma”am.” Jude beelined for the couch and slid his coat off, dropping it over the back of the nearby armchair. He scooped the lone gift from underneath the tree and plopped on the loveseat. ”Okay, you need to show me how to wrap presents like this because I”m embarrassed by my presentation.”
Carrot leaped onto the couch beside him and curled up on the arm with a purr. Carrot”s head bumped into Jude”s arm while attempting to wiggle into Jude”s lap.
Giselle laughed from the kitchen. ”Sure. We can negotiate more tennis lessons for gift-wrapping classes.”
She emerged from the kitchen with two ceramic bowls, her demeanor brighter than before. Giselle slid into the space on the loveseat and set the twin bowls of broccoli cheddar soup on the table.
Jude waited for her to sit comfortably before shaking the box, not hearing a rattle inside. ”My turn?”
Giselle”s eyes crinkled as she smiled. ”Your turn.”
Jude peeled off the wrapping paper into small scraps until a bundle of fabric tumbled into his waiting hands. He flipped the object over, examining what appeared to be a black scarf.
”Did you make this?” Jude asked, turning the scarf over in his hands. A smaller packet, wrapped in tissue paper, fell from the knotted center, but his thighs caught it before the package hit the ground.
”I did.” Giselle ran her hand over the length of the scarf. ”It took me a weekend, but I knitted this for you. I figured black would be the ideal color because white stains easier. It”s not a gorgeous golden necklace, but—”
”Giselle, stop. This is perfect. You don”t need to preface anything. I love it,” Jude interjected, watching her face brighten with rosiness tinting her cheeks.
Giselle reached for the package sitting on his lap, ”And you should check out these too. Another homemade project for you.”
Jude undid the wrapping, gentler the second time. But he stared at several neatly folded pocket squares in various jewel-tone colors stitched by a loving hand—Giselle”s loving hands.
He put the pocket squares onto his lap and hugged Giselle. ”These are perfect. When people ask, I”ll gush all about the girl who made them for me.”
”I”m so happy you like them,” Giselle whispered. ”It makes it easier to accept my gift, even with whatever expensive price tag it came with.”
A laugh almost escaped Jude, but he held his composure together. He and Giselle scooted closer on the couch, pushed toward the center when the cushions dipped under their weight.
Giselle handed him the bowl of hot soup and grabbed the remote, gesturing toward the television. ”Any suggestions?”
”Ever watched White Christmas before?”
”I haven”t in years! Sounds like a perfect movie for tonight.”
”It”s a Christmas classic and definitely will cheer you up,” Jude promised and stretched, leaning his arm around the back of the couch. But slowly, his arm slid down to rest along Giselle”s shoulders. His touch eased her closer, and Giselle curled into his side, knees tucked onto the couch and her head pressed into his chest.
Warmth danced between them like a roaring fireplace as Giselle powered on the television. Years ago, Jude and Giselle had their first Christmas while kids at Del Mesa Prep exchanged silly handmade Christmas cards made in their honors English class.
That was then. Now, the two curled up on the couch of Giselle”s place with dinner, a purring cat, and a lot of time to make up for. Hopefully, the Christmas do-over wasn”t the last.
It couldn”t be. Jude finally got Giselle back into his life, and he had no plans to lose her. After all the years apart, so little of those electric moments between him and her felt fake. It was real for him.