Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
BOOKER
I stalked through the house in the worst mood I’d been in for days. I’d fucked things up so royally I was pretty sure there wasn’t a way back from this.
When there was a knock on the door, I threw it open, grabbed Dex by the shirt, and hauled him inside before slamming it closed. Even his little girlish squeak of surprise wasn’t enough to break through my mood.
“I fucked up,” I growled as I paced the living room again.
I’d been hiding out in the house and waiting for Dex to turn up since he texted me two hours ago to say he’d be stopping by.
From the look on his face, he knew this was serious.
Dex put the boxes he was carrying down on the couch and then, like he was trying to herd a wild animal, he approached me with his hands raised.
“There’s a good Booker,” he murmured. “Easy, boy.”
I reached out and slapped him upside the head, but the pacing at least stopped.
“Can you pretend you’re a grown-ass adult for like five minutes?”
“First, ow,” he said, rubbing his head and ruffling his wavy hair into an even bigger mess. “Second, what the hell is going on?”
I blinked in surprise at the annoyed tone of Dex’s voice. I’d never heard him snap at me like that before, which was kind of impressive when you considered that asshole was my go-to setting.
“I. Fucked. Up!” I stressed and then stalked over to my favorite chair and sank down, running my hands through my hair as I resisted the urge to tear it out.
Dex rounded the couch and slowly sat down, looking worried.
“Look, whatever happened, I’m sure it’s not that bad. Just tell me what’s going on, and we’ll figure it out.” Dex looked at me cautiously before adding, “You’re kind of freaking me out, man. I’ve never seen you like this before.”
I hadn’t considered until right now that getting help meant telling him what I’d done, and now that I was facing it down, I wasn’t so sure I could do it.
Dex pulled his cell phone out of his pocket as he watched me. “Maybe I should call Trace and Xander over here.”
“Absolutely not.” I snatched the phone out of his hand and shoved it in my pocket. “This is humiliating enough as it is.”
“Okay, humiliating is good.” I looked at him like he was insane, and then he added, “Humiliating seems less like you murdered someone, and I can work with that.”
I realized then how my meltdown looked from the outside and that I might be ever so slightly overreacting.
“I slept with Reece,” I blurted out.
“Ooooo-kay. And she was okay with that, right?”
“Are you actually asking me that?” I shouted, shocked that he’d ever go there.
Dex lurched back, quickly covering his head with his hands as he stared at me accusingly. “Don’t shout at me! I don’t know what’s going on right now!”
I sucked in a huge breath through my nose and then slowly blew it out. Christ, this was so fucked up.
“I did what you said. I had breakfast with Reece. It was nice. We talked, sort of. Then we argued about who was going to do the dishes. And then we had sex.”
Dex nodded thoughtfully. “I’m not seeing the problem here.” When he saw the look on my face, he winced. “Oh god, what did you do next?”
He sagged back on the couch with a look of utter defeat on his face.
“She fell asleep, and I went to feed the horse, but when I came back, she was gone. And then…I freaked out, because she’d woken up alone, and?—”
“You’ve avoided her ever since,” Dex finished, and I nodded once, crossing my arms over my chest as I sank a little further into the panic that was building in my chest.
“Okay.” Dex sat up straighter on the couch like he was prepared to hash out a business deal rather than fix my stupid love life. “Okay, this isn’t too bad. We can work with this.”
“We can work with this?” I deadpanned, hoping he knew just how stupid he sounded.
“No. It’s okay. This is our fault really because we gave you step one and forgot that you don’t behave like a normal human being. There should have been at least twelve more steps for you to follow.” Dex nodded to himself as he steepled his hands in front of his face, tapping his fingers against the tip of his nose. “This is fixable. Right?”
“Why are you asking me that? You’re supposed to be telling me!”
Dex glanced at his watch. “Is it too early for beer?”
It was ten in the morning, so we both knew the answer to that.
“I’m so fucked,” I moaned, dropping my head down in my hands.
I felt Dex pat me on the back, but it didn’t make me feel any better. “I’ve never seen you like this before, Booker. You really like her, huh?”
I couldn’t explain it. Reece had been in my life for a week. It shouldn’t have been possible, especially for someone like me. I kept the world at arm’s length, and despite my high ambitions for the ranch and what it could do for people like me, I wasn’t really a people person. I was just a guy who liked horses.
“She’s…incredible.” I shrugged. There wasn’t much else I could add. I couldn’t explain it. Reece drew me in and fascinated me in a way that no other person had before.
She was strong and compassionate. Resilient and so goddamn sexy. You’d have to be a fool not to see it.
Dex sagged back on the couch, watching me carefully for a minute. “Well, this a pickle.”
I raised an eyebrow, and he shrugged again before we sank into a comfortable silence that I’d always been able to find with Dex at my side.
Dex bowled into my life on the heels of my brother Xander. They met at school one day when he moved to town to live with his grandparents, and Dex had announced them as best friends as soon as they met. He came from one of those families that gave a damn about each other, and yet he’d been inseparable from me and my brothers since that very first day. I always thought that Dex saw how terrible it was at our home, the complete lack of love and caring we had as kids, and decided to step up and fill the void with his friendship. He’d become an important person for all of my brothers, me included. I never could figure out what he got in return.
“What’s in these boxes that Delaney sent, anyway?” he asked after a little while, flipping the lid of the box that sat on the top.
The brown western-style hat stared at me like an accusation. An idea that had seemed like a good idea at the time. The metal badge with the word Stetson on the leather band glinted in the sun. It seemed so ridiculous now, but even now, I knew Reece would get a kick out of it. She needed something to keep the sun out of her eyes, but any old cap would have done. The other box had a pair of boots in it to hopefully make her life a bit easier out in the barn. It had driven me mad the other day, watching her sneakers slowly get wetter and wetter as we’d washed down the mare, knowing she didn’t have anything else to change into.
Dex looked at me, and then a laugh burst out of him. Usually, I’d have gone on the defensive and made some cutting remark to save my hurt feelings. I didn’t this time. It was ridiculous, and I deserved him telling me exactly that.
“Oh, this is amazing.” Dex grinned and picked up the hat, putting it on top of his own head despite it being far too small and making him look ridiculous. “Is this how you guys feel all the time? It’s so delicious I almost don’t want to say it.”
I cut a glare at him out the side of my eye. I hoped he was enjoying himself right now because there would be payback soon.
Dex shuffled in his seat, turning slightly so he was facing me head-on before he stretched out his arms like he was warming up for something. He cracked his head from side to side and then braced his hands on his knees. “Okay, I’m ready. Are you ready? I’m going to enjoy this more than Christmas.”
I could feel the glare deepening on my face but said nothing, regretting even thinking that this doofus could be the one to help me. I should have called Delaney. At least she wouldn’t have made fun of me.
Dex licked his lips and then said, “You idiot.” Grinning and nodding, he added, “Yep, just as good as I thought it would be.”
“What are you talking about?” I snapped, not able to take it anymore.
I snatched the hat off his head and brushed some imaginary dust off its rim, hating that Reece wasn’t the first one to try it on.
“This here,” Dex said, presenting the boxes with a flourish as he passed them to me. “Is the answer to all your problems.”
Okay, maybe that had me intrigued. I placed the hat back in the box and then took them, staring at them but not quite seeing the point Dex was trying to get to.
“I have to do everything.” He sighed, going to grab the hat again, only for me to slap his hand away. “You bought her a thoughtful gift. Go to her, give it to her, and then repeat these exact words to her. It’s important you get them in the right order, so listen carefully.” Dex waited a beat, and I gritted my teeth, trying to resist the urge to hit him again. “I’m. Sorry.” He stressed each word as if it was actually possible I’d be able to get them wrong.
“That’s it.”
Dex nodded, looking far too proud of himself than he should be.
“Wait! Bearing in mind your earlier fuck up, I’m giving you some follow-up steps because we know you can’t be trusted on your own. First, I’m sorry.” He held up one finger, and despite the urge to snap it off, I listened. “Second, do something fun with her. Third, have a conversation. Fourth, set a date to, well, you know, have an actual date.”
And that was how I found myself standing on the wooden deck outside the cottage, holding both boxes and listening to the soft sound of Reece singing inside.
This was a bad idea.
Dex had riled me up, shoved me out the door with the promise that I could do this, and then left in his truck. And now I was standing here, frozen to the spot, because I realized I didn’t actually have a plan for steps two through four, and wondering if I could sneak away before she found me.
Of course, that was the exact moment Reece opened the door and then stumbled to a stop because she hadn’t expected there to be someone creeping outside the door.
“Oh crap, you scared me,” she said, clutching her chest and giving me flashes of her playing with her nipples as I fucked her as hard as I could.
Okay, standing here with a rock-hard erection wouldn’t win me any points.
“Booker?” Reece asked, sounding concerned as I continued to stand there and not say anything.
“Right. Yes. I’m sorry.” I thrust the boxes into her hands and took a step back.
Reece peered at the boxes and then leaned forward slightly, whispering, “I don’t know what’s happening right now.”
“I didn’t…but I did…and then… These are for you. And I’m sorry ,” I stressed.
This couldn’t possibly be going any worse than it was right now. Dex should have given me a better plan.
“Are you having a stroke right now?” Reece asked, actually looking worried. “Does your face feel okay? Isn’t there a rhyme about what you’re supposed to check? Something about arms, I think. Flap them about a bit, see how they feel.”
For a second, I actually lifted my arms to do as she said before I remembered I wasn’t, in fact, having a stroke. I was just breaking down in the face of a beautiful woman I’d done wrong.
I cleared my throat, looking down at my boots, and shuffled awkwardly on the spot. This wasn’t a good look for a man my size. I needed to pull it together.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up yesterday,” I said, mainly looking at my boots because I didn’t want to see the look on her face when she told me it was a mistake.
“That’s okay. I figured you had to go out to do something. I shouldn’t have fallen asleep, but I think you put me into a sex coma.”
I was so surprised by what she said that my head snapped up to see if she was actually being serious.
“I should have come to find you.”
“Booker, seriously, it’s okay. I’m a big girl. And I think we both needed to clear our heads for a bit. It was pretty intense.”
“Yeah.”
She took a step to the side. “Do you want to come in?”
“No.”
“Right. I guess I’ll see you around then.” Her face furrowed in confusion, and I nearly kicked myself.
“I mean, no, I don’t want to come inside because I want to do something with you,” I clarified.
“Ah, see? Words can help.”
She went to put the boxes back into the house when I stopped her and added, “You’re going to need them.”
Reece grinned and closed the door, moving to the small table on the porch to put the boxes down and look inside. Then she squealed, spinning to look at me. “Are these for me?” she asked, already putting the hat on her head and then striking a pose. “How do I look?”
“Beautiful,” I told her honestly, tugging on the brim of the hat.
I wanted to kiss her, but it didn’t seem right. I didn’t know what she wanted out of this situation, and we needed to discuss it like adults before we got any deeper into the confusing mess we were currently in. Or I was in. Reece seemed to be acting like she was completely fine, and that was messing with my head even more.
I was almost positive I had something to apologize for here. Her not seeming to think so was worrying, to say the least.
“You didn’t need to do this,” Reece said, picking the boots out of the box. “I’m kind of surprised that you got my size right.”
“That was all Delaney. I don’t know about that sort of stuff.”
Reece sat down on one of the chairs and kicked off her sneakers. I kneeled down at her feet and grabbed the boots as she watched me with a bemused expression.
I patted my bent thigh, and Reece put her foot on it. Gently holding her ankle, I slipped the boot onto her foot, tightening the laces and fastening it before checking the fit. It was perfect. Delaney had done a good job.
I repeated the process with her other foot and then peered up at Reece, watching me with an expression I couldn’t figure out on her face. My thumb absentmindedly brushed along her thigh as I stared up at her, frozen to the spot.
Except it wasn’t out of fear this time.
Not exactly.
Being this close to her, doing something as silly as tying her boots, I understood now that dopey expression Trace got on his face whenever he was close to Delaney.
I was starting to feel something I had no business feeling after just a week of knowing Reece.
“Come on,” I said, tapping her boot and finally climbing to my feet. “I want to do something with you.”
Reece stood, and we walked out to the barn together. We checked in on the mare, and she was actually doing a lot better than I would have expected her to be. I trimmed her back hooves yesterday when the temperature cooled down. When Reece hadn’t come to help, I’d pretty much made up my mind that I completely messed things up with her.
If this was my second chance, I was damn well not making the same mistake again.
Doc was hanging out in the training ring on the other side of the barn. I was trying to keep the small one at the front of the house empty so we could transfer the mare to it and give her some space to move around. She couldn’t go out into the pastures while we were monitoring her food so tightly, and she wasn’t strong enough to be out there anywhere. Cole had taken some blood from her, and we were still waiting for the results to make sure she didn’t carry anything that could pass to the other horses. Until she had the all-clear, she had to stay in isolation.
I’d tacked Doc up, intending to ride the pastures this afternoon and check the fence lines. As seemed to be the case for the past week, I was going to push that off to Cliff or Hank for now. It wasn’t like they were hugely busy at the minute anyway. They might as well do some work to earn their keep.
“This is Doc,” I told Reece as I ducked through the wooden fence surrounding the training ring and patted Doc’s neck. He turned his head toward me, nuzzling against my pocket to search for treats.
“He’s beautiful.”
“He was the first horse I bought when I got the ranch, and we’ve been together ever since, haven’t we buddy?” Doc snorted and went to nibble at the brim of my hat, making Reece laugh. “He’s getting to be an old man now.”
“You ride him?” Reece asked.
“Yep, and so will you.”
She looked at me with wide eyes, and I chuckled as I held out a hand, inviting her into the ring. Reece didn’t look overly confident about the idea, but she ducked through the wood rails and took my hand.
“I’m not sure this is a good idea,” she whispered, going to stroke Doc’s muzzle, who did the same treat inspection on her as he did everyone. Reece laughed. “The only horse I’ve ever ridden was a pony at the county fair when I was six.”
“Well, I think you’ll find that Doc is the sweetest, most patient boy you’ll ever meet, and if you can ride that old county pony, you can definitely sit on the back of Doc.”
She looked at me like she was pretty sure I’d lost my mind, but then she shrugged and stepped to his side.
“Okay, how do I do this thing, then?”
Reece dusted off her hands and then stared at the saddle like it was something she could figure out if she just tried hard enough.
Shaking my head at her sheer determination to do whatever she put her mind to, I came to her side. “Bend your leg,” I instructed, grasping her knee in one hand when she did. “On the count of three, I’m going to give you a boost, and you’re going to swing your other leg over Doc’s back and sit in the saddle. Grab the front of the saddle with your left hand and then grab it with your other hand when you’re on the way up.”
Reece peered over her shoulder at me, and I could see the doubt in her eyes. “I got you,” I reassured. “On three, remember? One… two… three.”
Reece jumped, and I pushed her up, completely underestimating how light she actually was, and she shot up into the air with a squeak of surprise. Thankfully, I still had hold of her leg, so instead of firing her over Doc’s back, I pulled her back down into the saddle instead.
She landed with an oomph, and when she’d recovered enough to loosen her iron grip on the saddle, she scowled down at me.
Doc gave him his due and didn’t even move a step.
“Sorry about that.” I grinned up at her, and she instantly relaxed. “I forgot you were a skinny thing.”
Reece cocked her head to the side as she thought. “I’m going to just believe that was a compliment and move past it,” she quipped.
“I promise you’re going to have fun,” I said, grabbing the reins and passing them to her.
I had no idea if that was actually true, but hopefully, this would be a solid step two.