Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
REECE
T he food smelled incredible, but it did nothing to stop that nervous need to pace the kitchen or maybe throw up a bit.
Nope, I was not going to sit down to dinner with Booker and his family with the smell of puke on my breath.
Ugh, why did that make me want to throw up even more?
I looked up and caught sight of Booker leaning against the kitchen door frame, watching me with a soft smile on his face.
“You’re cute when you’re panicking,” he said.
“I’m not sure that’s the compliment you think it is. In fact, some people might even think it was a bit of a red flag.” I tossed the dishcloth I’d been twisting into knots into the sink and tried to look far more confident than I felt.
If there was one thing I knew about Booker, it was that he didn’t even remotely resemble a red flag. He might be the kindest and most honorable man I’d ever met.
And I wasn’t entirely sure what that said about my life choices up until this point. Not to downplay how amazing the man in front of me was. But really, why hadn’t I allowed myself to be surrounded by good people before? Why did I put up with people who were content to make me feel less about myself?
Yikes, this really wasn’t where I needed my mind to be going when I was about to stand in front of Booker’s family and friends as his…girlfriend? Were we even ready to put a label like that on this?
Oh hell, now I’d gone and given myself a whole other thing to freak out about.
The sensation of Booker gently pinched my chin as he tipped back my head brought me back to my senses, and I stared up into his beautiful eyes.
There was nothing about this man that didn’t mesmerize me.
“Stop it. You’re perfect, and they’ll love you. You’ve met most of them already, anyway. You have nothing to worry about. If this is because you’re not ready to be around so many people, we can cancel. No one will mind.”
I leaned into his solid chest, taking a moment to soak in the feeling of safety that Booker’s presence seemed to give me now. He wrapped his arms around me and tucked my head under his chin.
Damn, he gave the best hugs.
“I know what you’re doing,” I whispered. “And you’re not using me as an excuse to get out of this.”
I felt his chuckle of laughter against my hair as he squeezed me tighter for a second before leaning back so he could look into my eyes.
“What is family dinner, anyway? And why do we need to do it? They can feed themselves. They’ve been doing it for years. I don’t see why there’s a sudden need for me to do it.”
“Well, considering that I did all the cooking, I don’t think you need to worry in that department,” I teased gently.
Frankly, I was grateful he didn’t point out the fact that I’d chased him out of his own kitchen this morning and refused his numerous offers of help.
The sound of the gravel driveway crunching under a car’s tires helped, as well as Booker’s head turning to see who was coming.
“Well, at least it’s solved one problem,” he said cryptically, and when I looked around him and saw it was my car driving closer, I gasped in surprise.
“What? Is that…?” And then I slipped out of Booker’s arms and ran for the door.
“Hey, I was enjoying that,” he grumbled, and I shook my head at the impossible man.
I was already jogging down the porch steps when my car pulled up in front of the house, and a guy I’d never met stepped out. He looked like a giant stepping out of a clown car as he unfolded himself from the driver’s seat of my old Honda. Not that he seemed to care, as he smiled at me happily. His red hair caught the sun as he pulled off a baseball cap and ran his fingers through the unruly lengths before he tugged it back on again.
“You must be Reece,” he said, closing the door and walking closer with his hand held out.
We shook hands, and then he jingled the keys in front of me.
“She’s all ready for you. Not quite as good as new, but damn close.”
I quickly grabbed the keys, practically jumping for joy.
“Thank you so much!” I called out as I darted to the car, opening the door and nearly crying from the new car smell that should have been impossible for this former piece of crap car.
I hadn’t realized I was as attached to this old thing until I’d seen it driving down the driveway. I’d kind of always taken it for granted as it sat in the parking garage, barely being used. It didn’t fit the image I was supposed to be showing to the world, not that I really had anywhere to drive back then.
I sighed at how na?ve I’d been, feeling a wave of disbelief that I’d allowed myself to be maneuvered into that situation in the first place.
This car had taken me away from that place. It was the piece of freedom that wasn’t stolen from me, and it had saved me from something I doubted I’d ever be really ready to think about.
“Well, you could feed me whatever it is that smells so delicious and then pretend to listen while I explain to you what an oil change is and why you need to do them,” he quipped.
“Awww, you were doing so well.”
My hands came to my hips, and I glared at him playfully.
“Personally, I think you’re giving him more credit than he deserves,” Booker called out from the porch, where I hadn’t noticed him.
“I don’t know. He fixed my car, which was on fire at one point.” The guy pointed toward me, frantically nodding his head like I was making an excellent point. “And you should smell it! I’m pretty sure this car has smelled vaguely like cheese ever since I bought it.”
At that point, his eyes widened in alarm. “Please tell me you didn’t buy a car that smelled like cheese.”
“Well, I needed something cheap, and I got him to knock a hundred bucks off it because of…”
I could tell by the way he was staring at me like I was insane that there was nothing I could say that was going to make me look any better. The truth was, I had no idea about cars or what to look for when I bought one. As long as it ran and I could afford it, I didn’t really care.
Honestly, it was just a car, but I didn’t think that would win me any points with this guy either.
“She made lasagna, Dex,” Booker called out again. I could already see where this was going. “From scratch,” he added.
Dex took a moment to think about it, but I could see the smile he was trying to hide. “How about you still let me eat some of that lasagna, and I won’t tell you why the car smelled like cheese?”
My eyes widened in alarm, and my mind screamed that I really didn’t want to know that under any circumstances.
“Deal!” I declared. “I’ll even throw in some garlic bread and not make a fuss when you don’t eat your salad.”
We both headed to the house laughing, and as we passed Booker, I heard him whisper, “You’re going to tell me, right?”
Dex just laughed and playfully shoved his shoulder. I didn’t know him well enough to know if that was a yes, but I had a feeling that if it was, Booker would have the perfect ammunition to tease me with.
“Oh my god, I think I’m going to explode,” Blake declared, rubbing her stomach as she groaned. “If you decide that you can’t put up with Booker, please, for all that is holy, come and move in with me.”
“Wait, wait, wait.” Delaney waved her arms in front of her. “Let’s at least consider all the options. I could convert a barn into a kick-ass cottage for you, and I’ll even throw in a monthly supply of cider. Besides, she still hasn’t moved out yet.”
“Stop trying to bribe the woman,” Blake gasped.
“I’ll be your best friend too,” Cade chimed in, swirling a piece of garlic bread through the meat sauce left on his plate.
“Betrayer!” Blake gasped dramatically. “Et tu, Brute?”
Cade squinted in confusion, not getting the reference, and then turned to me to give me the biggest smile.
“Wow, so it’s like that. Just, wow.” Blake crossed her arms but then darted a hand out to snag another piece of garlic bread.
Even though she seemed absolutely devastated, I could see how close they all really were. Even Booker was smiling at their antics, not that he’d ever admit it. This was exactly what he needed.
Booker might have moaned and pretended to be annoyed as his friends and family had turned up at his door. But sitting at this table now, surrounded by people who actually cared about each other, I could see just how happy it made him.
Looking around this table, I saw a group of people who had become the family they always wanted for themselves. A part of me was almost envious of Booker. There were a lot of people out in the world who were still trying to find something like this.
Delaney and Trace gave each other a dreamy look over the top of their son’s head, and he reached around to run his hand over her back as he smiled at her. They were the picture of domestic bliss, and from what Delaney had told me of their story, they absolutely deserved it.
This was the family Booker didn’t realize he had. The one that was slowly pulling back together after what their parents had put them through. One that was built on a foundation of respect and caring.
Yet Booker wasn’t the one who I was worried about right now. Even if that was a bit strange, considering that I’d never really met Xander before unless you counted my slight freak out when he drove to the ranch the other day.
“Can I get anyone anything to drink?” I asked, giving Xander a smile and hoping it wasn’t creepy.
Everyone declined, and when I looked back at Xander, he just shook his head silently.
He looked so uncomfortable, and I had no idea what to do to stop that, or why no one else seemed to have noticed. He’d barely said anything, choosing instead to sit back and watch the conversation unfold in front of him. At least he seemed to enjoy the food, even if he had been nursing the same glass of water since he arrived.
Maybe it was me? Maybe I freaked him out with the way I acted when he turned up the other day.
Did he hate me?
It couldn’t have looked good that his own brother had seemed ready to set his dog on him because of some random woman he’d never even heard of.
Maybe I should just try to talk to him. Let him see I wasn’t a massive weirdo who was out to take advantage of his brother. Yeah, that was probably a good idea.
“So, Xander, Booker mentioned you were a doctor in the city. What type of medicine is it you practice?” I asked politely
“Primary care,” he answered and then added absolutely nothing else.
Okay, so maybe that wasn’t the best tactic to win him over to my side.
Blake glanced at him out of the side of her eye and then over at me. She reached for her wine and sat back for a minute, and I tensed, waiting for her to say something that would make the situation a million times more awkward. If there was anyone in the room who would call it like it was, I could already tell it was her.
“Are we all excited about the carnival?” Blake asked, and I almost sighed in relief.
She gave me a quick wink, and I resisted the urge to leap out of my chair and hug her for breaking the strange tension that was closing in around us.
I heard Booker grumble something under his breath, and Xander cut a glare at his brother, not saying a word.
“Yes!” Cade cheered. “I’m going on all the rides and doing all the games, and Dad is going on the Ferris wheel with me!”
Trace looked like he went a slight shade of green, and Delaney chuckled at his discomfort.
“You know, if you ask, they sometimes stop it when you’re at the top,” Blake said, sniggering as Trace groaned at the suggestion.
“Not a fan of heights?” I asked.
“Not a fan of carnival rides that have traveled down the highway and then suspend me two hundred feet in the air,” he grumbled.
“That’s a big Ferris wheel,” I quipped before realizing what I’d said, and Delaney snorted in amusement. “Do you have a carnival in Willowbrook often?”
I was really hoping they were going to say yes because this was the sort of small-town life I could get on board with. Plus, I’d give anything to go on a Ferris wheel finally.
“No, actually, this is only the second time,” Delaney said, and I saw Blake look just as disappointed as I was. “But it’s hopefully going to be an annual thing now.”
A grin slipped across my face and when I looked at Booker, he was giving me a curious look, like he was trying to figure me out.
Wait, please tell me he wasn’t a carnival hater!
“We need this one to be a success first,” Trace said ruefully.
“It will be. You know it will be.”
“I don’t. I don’t have access to any local business information anymore.”
I looked around the table at the people present. There was clearly something more to this that I didn’t understand. Blake, thankfully, took pity on me.
“Trace used to work with his father at The Farrington Group, which basically had its fingers in all the town pies. They’re trying to get some increased tourism into the town, boost the economy, blah blah blah. Trace is freaking out because he doesn’t work there anymore, so he doesn’t have all his behind-the-scenes access anymore.”
“Oooh, okay. But all the businesses are still individually owned, right?”
“Yeah, we were more of an investment group,” Trace agreed.
“And a way to exert your mother’s dictator-like control over people,” Delaney muttered.
Blake snorted at the comment, but no one disagreed.
“So you could just have a town meeting then,” I suggested. “Get all the business owners together, see where you stand, who needs what, brainstorm together.”
Trace’s spine seemed to snap straight, and he looked at me with wide eyes. “Why aren’t we doing that?”
“Erm, are you asking me, or is this one of those rhetorical things?”
He finally seemed to exhale before turning to Delaney, who was already pulling her phone out of her pocket. “I’ll start a group chat with whoever I have numbers for and see if we can get a time and a venue decided in the next few days.”
They quickly fired off questions and details between themselves like the rest of the room had faded away.
“They do this a lot,” Blake said, and Cade nodded, rolling his eyes.
Dex pulled out his phone and sighed dramatically. “I guess I don’t count as a local business owner, then. Rude. Not even added to the group chat. It’s like I’m not even here!”
Booker apparently decided this was a good time to join in the conversation. He dramatically pulled out his own phone and showed the screen to Dex, who sighed loudly again. “It’s just the two of us against the town, Book. Two stallions put out to pasture, no longer useful to society…”
“Hey, no one’s putting me out to pasture,” Booker quickly added. “I’m in my prime.”
In a total un-Booker-like move, he gave me a cheeky wink, and I felt the blush rush to my cheeks. He was getting absolutely no arguments from me in that department.
“Ewwww,” Delaney said dramatically.
“I don’t get it,” Cade suddenly said, and I looked at him in alarm.
Oh dang, I’d have to get used to having a kid around.
“Well, it’s like this…” Blake started.
“Uncle Booker is just worried that Dex thinks he’s old, and we’re all laughing because he is,” Delaney quickly interrupted.
“Hey!” Booker objected. “I’m not old.”
“If the shoe fits, brother,” Dex quipped.
My gaze quickly bounced to Xander who just sat watching the situation unfold in front of him in interest. At least he looked slightly less miserable as everyone made fun of his older brother.
“Who wants dessert?” I offered, quickly getting a grateful look from Booker.
“Me!” Blake and Cade both shouted at the same time.
As I got up to fetch the three desserts I’d made, because I was having a meltdown about people who might not like cheesecake, I couldn’t help but smile. Booker might be slightly upset about being called old, but he was happy.
There was a time when I’d decided this would be how I’d repay Booker for helping me when most people wouldn’t have. But now there was a part of me that really wanted to have something like this for myself.
I’d never really considered myself lonely before I came here. I thought I was progressing through life like I was supposed to. I had a job I’d worked hard for, a man who I stupidly thought cared about me. At some point, there probably would have been some kids. I’d thought that would make all the doubts and the questions disappear. That the only reason it didn’t feel right was because I wasn’t trying hard enough. I wasn’t fulfilling some hidden need.
And I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Because having people around you that cared about you wasn’t about trying to change yourself to make them happy, it was about being happy because of exactly who you already were.