Chapter 6
SIX
Life Makeover Principle #2:
Be specific about the ideal VISION for your life. Clarity is crucial.
‘Here, take my seat,’ offered an overweight middle-aged man, as Gina stood in the aisle of the packed bus, gripping the handrail along with six other commuters.
‘I’m fine, thank you,’ she replied. Keeping balance on a moving bus was good for core abdominal strength. Why waste an opportunity to improve one’s fitness? Keeping fit didn’t stop for Gina once she left the gym, she knew that best results were obtained by integrating healthy strategies into daily life.
‘Please, I insist.’ He stood, motioning to his seat.
‘Well ... okay then.’ Only twenty-four hours since turning thirty-seven, and she was already being treated like an elderly person. Or was it possible that he was simply ... being polite? Marvin would never give up his seat. He’d be the one lounging back reading the sports results in the newspaper, taking up two seats and not noticing if there was an elderly person with a walking stick, clinging for dear life to the handrails as the bus swerved violently around the corners of the city streets.
Gina swapped places with the man and looked up at him as she sat. ‘Thank you.’ He winked, and one corner of his mouth curled upwards. Ah, so he was hitting on her. So much for politeness. She wasn’t sure whether to be pleased that he wasn’t treating her like she was old, or uncomfortable that he’d shown interest in a married woman. Surely he’d seen the ring as she gripped the handrail.
Gina usually caught a later bus, but Mark wanted her to come into work early this morning. The most logical reason, she presumed, was that he would be promoting her to Manager of the Accounts department. Marion, the existing Accounts Manager, accepted a new position in another company and would be leaving at the end of the week. Gina would have to spend the next couple of days going through the ropes with Marion, so she’d be ready to start her new role. Not that she needed much training, she’d already been observing Marion inconspicuously for the last month, taking notes, and knew she could do her job easily. A promotion would be a nice reward for her dedication to the company over the past six years. A smile grew on her face as she welcomed this rare moment of satisfaction. Maybe she didn’t really need The Club; things weren’t really that bad:
1. She’d have a higher position at M2M Marketing by next week.
2. She was thirty-seven with the body of a twenty-year-old. Well, maybe a twenty-seven-year-old .
3. She had an enjoyable family dinner last night for her birthday, and Marvin had been extra nice to her.
But then there was the issue of The List that Liz had told her to write. She’d got to item three on ‘Things I Don’t Like About My Life and What I Want Instead’, and froze on realising what she’d automatically written.
1. I’m not happy with my job – I want to be recognised, appreciated, and enjoy my work.
2. I’m not happy with my living room – I want a brighter coloured couch and a new rug.
3. I’m not happy with my marriage – I want a different husb more romance and support.
I’m just being selfish , she thought . I have a stable job and income, a nice apartment, and a husband to share it with. Okay, so he could be a little more supportive, but you can’t have everything.
Marlina Giovanni had taught her daughter to strive for stability in life. Be thankful for what you had. Don’t complain. Gina’s father had taken ill after a trip to Italy and they’d had to rely on his income protection insurance to get by until he was well enough to work again. If it wasn’t for her father’s good sense and stable job that welcomed him back six months later, her family wouldn’t have been able to stay in their home and have the kind of life they were blessed with. Looking after family was number one.
Gina’s twin brothers, George and Greg, or Georgio and Gregorio as her parents christened them, trained as accountants right after leaving school. They opened a business together: ‘Giovanni Accountants’, both marrying their girlfriends within a year of each other, and starting a family not long after.
Gina always felt like the odd one out. Despite having a husband and a home, she hadn’t yet provided grandchildren for her parents, and she wasn’t getting any younger. George and Greg were genuinely happy with their lives, and would without a doubt keep doing the same thing every day for as long as they lived. Gina however, was ... unsettled.
The bus slowed. Gina pressed the button and rose to indicate her stop. The brakes screeched to a halt, the smell of fuel filling the air as the bus doors opened. ‘Excuse me.’ She inched past the ‘polite’ man who’d given up his seat. He eyed her up and down, moving back only slightly, causing her back to graze his ample belly as she manoeuvred past. She stepped onto Clarence Street and into the warm thick air of the city. Glancing back at the bus, she noticed the man had taken his seat back, while an older woman stood holding the handrail as the bus took off. ‘Men,’ she mumbled, shaking her head.
At 8:40 am Gina entered the M2M offices, the hazards of public transport forgotten and head held high in anticipation of her impending promotion.
‘Good morning, Gina.’ Mark Villotti held open the door to the Accounts Department and Gina walked in. That was a first. Brianna had arrived early too, sipping her essential morning coffee.
‘Now, Gina,’ Mark said.
Yes, Mark? C’mon, you can say it! Gina had imagined his speech each night for the past month; ‘In honour of your valuable service these past six years...’
‘Brianna’s taking over Marion’s role as Accounts Manager,’ he said flatly.
What? Gina’s heart sank. Brianna?
‘She’ll be working closely with Marion today and tomorrow, so I’ll need you to take over her workload until we hire a replacement.’
This can’t be right. She tensed her jaw to stop her mouth from gaping open at the injustice.
‘We’ll be interviewing applicants this afternoon. Both Brianna and Marion will be sitting in, so I’m counting on you to keep the office running smoothly while they’re gone, okay?’
But ... she’s only been here for two and a half years!
‘Okay, Gina?’
What about me? I’ve been here longer than any of the accounts staff!
‘Gina?’
‘Er ... yes, sure,’ she said, straightening her suit jacket and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. ‘Congratulations, Brianna.’ Gina nodded a polite smile before turning to face Mark. ‘And don’t worry, Mark, I’ll keep everything running as smoothly as always.’ Like I have been for the past six years! SIX bloody years, you bloody idiot!
‘What’s for dinner?’ Marvin enquired as he walked in the door that night.
‘Spaghetti Bolognaise.’
‘Oh. Didn’t we have that a few nights ago?’
‘Can’t remember,’ she lied. Gina slid the chopped onions into the frypan with one clean swipe of her knife.
‘Yeah, we did. Friday night, remember?’ He loosened his tie and hung his blazer on the back of the nearest chair.
‘Well, we’re having it again!’ Gina snapped, plonking minced meat into the sizzling pan .
‘What’s up with you?’
‘Nothing.’
‘It’s hormones, isn’t it?’ Marvin asked. ‘PMS or something?’
No, it’s not the stupid hormones! It’s my stupid job! And my stupid boss! And...’ ‘It’s just ... Brianna got promoted today, and it should have been me.’ Gina wiped the back of her hand across her cheek, holding back the rest of the tears wanting to fall. ‘Anyway, it doesn’t matter.’ She stabbed at the mince with the wooden spoon, breaking it up, and turning it over.
‘Don’t be upset, honey.’ Marvin moved to her side. ‘It’s just a job. You already have a good job, and besides, maybe it’s for the best.’
‘What do you mean?’ She put the spoon on the bench and turned sharply to face her husband.
‘Well, you shouldn’t add any more stress right now, you need to take it easy while we’re trying for a baby.’
‘I don’t want to take it easy. I wanted that promotion,’ Gina raised her voice.
‘I know, honey, but when you get pregnant you’ll have to take maternity leave, and you’ll want to stay home with our child until they start school, so Mark would have had to find someone else eventually. It’s probably for the best that Brianna got the job.’
Best for who? Gina’s lips tightened. ‘Can you pass the jar of sauce?’ She pointed to the pantry behind her, keeping her eyes on the mince.
Marvin picked up the jar and tried unsuccessfully to open it, before handing it to Gina. With a firm turn of the lid, Gina opened the jar with a pop and released the blood-red contents into the pan. Marvin disappeared into the living room, the television sounding soon after.
Gina pursed her lips. Maybe it was for the best that Brianna got the job. Would being promoted to Accounts Manager really have made things better? Maybe. Maybe not. But she wanted to feel valued and appreciated, and put her years of experience in accounts administration to good use.
As she stirred the sauce into the mince, Gina recalled the list of Top Five Passions she’d come up with after doing Liz’s bonus workshop. The club members had been advised to make ‘Passion Cards’ – little cardboard index cards with the top five passions written on them – and display them in various places as a reminder of what was important. Gina hadn’t made hers yet, although she’d typed the list into the notes app on her phone. She couldn’t possibly display them around the house. Besides, she’d ingrained the list into her memory, and although she didn’t yet know the specifics of what she wanted, she knew what made her feel good, and that, Liz had said, was what passions were all about... what feels good in your life; what you would be feeling and how you would be living if your life was ideal. And Gina’s list of passions made her feel hopeful.
Gina’s Top Five Passions:
When my life is ideal, I am...
1. Feeling loved, secure, and happy in my life.
2. Experiencing perfect health and optimal fitness, and enjoying daily exercise.
3. Enjoying good conversation with friends and family.
4. Making a valuable contribution to people’s lives through my work.
5. Taking regular holidays to beautiful places around the world .
Number two was pretty much a reality, apart from the temporary iron deficiency and high prolactin levels, but number one? Well, she was secure, she thought, but didn’t feel enough love in her life. Or maybe love was overrated, and she was kidding herself for thinking there could be something better. Blame it on the movies, and those romance books, for giving false hope.
Number three was about six out of ten, made possible by the presence of Naomi in her life, but number four? What contribution was she making to people’s lives through her work? Sending bills to people and making Mark Villotti rich? There was nothing wrong with her job, someone had to do it, but there had to be something more. Something better suited to her that also made a difference.
As for taking regular holidays ... well, that had always seemed self-indulgent. The Giovanni family had rarely taken holidays just for the sake of them, except to visit family. ‘ Home is the heart and soul of one’s life’, Gina’s mother always said. A regular getaway had never been on the list of top priorities.
Until now.