Chapter 15
FIFTEEN
Life Makeover Principle #5:
Live a life aligned with your PASSIONS.
‘Thank you, Gina, here’s your Platinum gift pack.’ The receptionist at City Health and Fitness handed Gina a silver bag filled with product samples, health books, and a USB stick with exclusive exercise and health videos, as a bonus for renewing her gym membership for another year.
‘Thank you, too.’ With a satisfied smile, she turned in the direction of the escalators, when Naomi came out of the staff room and stopped her. ‘Now, Gina, you are going to bring up the issue tonight, aren’t you?’
‘Of course. Anything to stop you nagging me all the time.’ She laughed, but Naomi didn’t budge.
‘I’m serious. You do want to makeover your life, don’t you?’
‘Yes. ’
‘Good. Discuss it with the group, and put things in motion.’ Naomi patted the side of Gina’s face and strutted out the front door, her butt muscles popping out with each step. People entering the gym stopped and made way for her as she walked past. Naomi had that effect on people; she could probably part the Red Sea if she wanted to.
Gina sucked in a preparatory breath and stepped onto the escalator, uncharacteristically staying put until it delivered her to the top. Normally she’d stomp up the escalator in dispute, regarding them as one of many modern conveniences that hindered a person’s health, along with the microwave oven, remote controls, and elevators. Tonight though, she wanted to take the opportunity to be still, breathe deeply, and calm her nerves, if only for a few moments. Why was she so scared to live the life she wanted? Why couldn’t she just make a decision and go for it?
Almost tripping when the escalator step merged with the floor, Gina caught her breath and walked in light, rhythmic footsteps towards The Ruby Room. She withdrew her water bottle from her bag and took a few sips before opening the door.
Her eyebrows rose slightly on seeing Cara Collins already there, chatting happily to Miranda. Huh? Cara normally burst through the door red-faced around 7:15 pm, frantically apologising for her lateness, and blaming it on City Traffic . The same city traffic that managed to bring everyone else there on time. Also, she rarely talked to Miranda. They often seemed to irritate each other, but tonight, they were like old friends.
‘Hi, Gina,’ Cara and Miranda said in unison.
‘Hi. How are you both tonight?’ Gina replied.
‘Great!’ said Cara .
‘How are you?’ asked Miranda.
‘Not too bad, thanks.’ She retreated to make a cup of green tea. Not too bad? Close to forty years on Planet Earth and that’s all she had to say about her life? She might as well have said ‘A little less crappy than yesterday, but still overall crappy, thanks for asking.’ She wondered what it would be like to say ‘I’m fantastic!’ and actually mean it.
Wendy’s hand hovered over the plate of choc chip cookies like a UFO about to invade Earth, but on seeing Gina glance in her direction, she moved her hand to the dried fruit and nuts on offer and grabbed a handful, popping them into her mouth. Did people think Gina was one of those health-obsessed types? She wouldn’t have thought badly of Wendy if she’d grabbed a cookie, but Wendy must have assumed as much. Sometimes Gina ate cookies. Maybe once every two or three months, but that was the limit. And she’d do an extra workout session to counteract it. Okay, maybe she was a tad health-obsessed.
When Molly finished showing anyone who would look her growing portfolio of well-groomed pets, and Rebecca finished with the fourth phone call she ‘just had to take’, the group quietened down and sat in their chairs.
Gina sat to the left of Liz, knowing her propensity for going around the room clockwise. She wanted to discuss her issues before she chickened out again, and no doubt Naomi would check tomorrow if she’d followed through. This was the fifth meeting of the club, and she hadn’t mentioned anything about her marriage and fertility problems. Nor, how she was thinking of quitting her job. It was time to get at least some things out in the open, as she grew increasingly dissatisfied every day. The longer she stayed in her rut, the harder it was to climb out.
‘I think we’ll start with you tonight.’ Liz gestured to Cara who was seated to her right.
Huh? Why is everyone out of character tonight? I stood still on the escalators, Cara arrived early, and Liz is going anti-clockwise! Gina hoped her resolve would last until it was her turn.
Cara discussed the progress she and Pete were making, how she may have an opportunity to earn money from her art, and she thanked Miranda for her role in The Amazing Weekend Getaway.
So that’s why they’re all chummy now. Gina had never had a weekend away from Marvin during their whole relationship. They saw each other every single day. He was as familiar to her as the grey walls of her office.
As Gina half-listened to everyone’s progress, contributing the occasional clap, smile, and words of support, she kept going over in her mind what she wanted to say. By the time her turn in the Hot Seat came, she still hadn’t worked it out. This unnerved her, as she was normally overly prepared for every situation in her life. Most scenarios she participated in had a structure, a plan, and an expected outcome, but this was uncertain, fluid, and loose. She felt like she was on a boat rocking this way and that, unable to steady herself. She drew in a breath and hoped for the best, even though that seemed a ridiculous strategy. ‘I haven’t made a great deal of progress towards my goals yet, mostly because I’m still figuring out what they are!’ She let out an awkward snorting sound then cleared her throat. See? If she’d had a plan to follow, she wouldn’t make a fool of herself. ‘Anyway, I was talking to my personal trainer, my good friend, about some problems I was having at work. She suggested I quit my job and do something completely different.’ The group nodded, listening intently. Oh. They want me to keep going. Right. ‘Because I’m into fitness, she thinks I’d make a good personal trainer. Like her.’
‘And what do you think, Gina?’ asked Liz.
‘I think I’m too old, too shy, and too scared to be a personal trainer.’ Whoa. I do? That came out of nowhere.
‘Let me put this to you Gina: If you were twenty-five, outgoing, and had no fear, would you want to become a personal trainer?’ Liz asked.
‘Yes, I think I would. But – ’
‘Uh-uh, no buts yet,’ Liz interjected. ‘The first step is to establish if you want this, if you’re passionate about it. Are you really passionate about fitness?’
Gina retrieved her list of Top Five Passions from her mental library. Passion number two: ‘Experiencing perfect health and optimal fitness, and enjoying daily exercise.’ ‘Definitely,’ she replied.
‘Are you passionate about your current job?’ Liz asked.
‘No. I’m grateful for the income, but I want to make a valuable contribution to people’s lives through my work, and I don’t feel I’m doing that.’
‘Then something needs to change.’ Liz’s unblinking stare could rival Naomi’s. She had this ability to be incredibly kind and sharply authoritarian at the same time. ‘So, you think you’re too old to become a personal trainer?’
‘I guess so. And to start a new career in general, regardless of whether it’s in fitness or not. I shouldn’t waste the experience and skills I’ve already developed,’ Gina explained.
‘Hang on, Gina, let’s stick to the age issue for the moment. How old are you?’
‘Thirty-seven. ’
Wendy and Molly shifted in their chairs and Leanne cleared her throat. Rebecca opened her mouth as if to speak but then clamped her lips tight, which must have been hard for her. They were older than Gina.
‘Gina, do you think you have the required level of fitness to become a personal trainer?’
‘Yes, I do.’
‘And have you seen any trainers that are older than you?’
‘I’ve seen some in their forties, and my Pump instructor is in her fifties. But they’ve been in the industry a long time and have years of experience.’
‘Well, there you go. There’s nothing to say you can’t work to a ripe age as a personal trainer, if you maintain your health and fitness. Would that be right?’
‘Yes, I suppose it would.’ Gina nodded.
‘Gina, I was fifty-years-old when I became a life coach. I want you to know that although it sounds cliché, it’s never too late to start over.’
‘Gina, I’d kill for a figure like yours,’ said Wendy. ‘You should definitely make the most of it, I say.’
‘Hear, hear.’ Rebecca looked glad to have an opportunity to speak, even if just words of support.
Gina shifted in her chair. She felt quite silly. Liz had survived cancer and started her life over at age fifty. Thirty-seven wasn’t that old, and she certainly didn’t feel old. Most of her colleagues often complained about aches and pains, indigestion, and weight gain, but apart from the occasional migraine headache and her low iron levels, Gina was in great health. She felt strangely abnormal though, listening to her colleagues discuss their medical complaints, and almost thought of asking the doctor why she wasn’t getting all those so called ‘normal’ problems .
‘Let’s move onto your next objection. You think you’re too shy, Gina. Tell me, what does it take to be a good personal trainer?’
‘Well, you obviously need a high level of fitness. And a desire to help people. Patience...’ her eyes looked to the ceiling, searching for more answers, ‘...and good communication skills.’
‘Okay. Now, do you have those attributes?’
‘I think so. I really like the idea of helping people improve their fitness, and I can communicate well, but just not in a...’ she pumped her fist in the air, ‘ hyped-up kind of way.’
‘Is it a pre-requisite that aspiring personal trainers pass a personality test to show their outgoing nature?’ asked Liz, eyebrows raised.
‘Of course not, but you need to be able to express enthusiasm to motivate the client.’
‘Could it be true that different personal trainers have different personalities, and that some clients might prefer a softly-spoken trainer?’
‘Yes.’
‘And is it possible to motivate someone, instruct them on correct techniques, without raising your voice and speaking in a ‘hyped-up’ way, as you call it?’
Man, she must have been an awesome lawyer. ‘It’s possible, yes.’
‘Then Gina, what we’ve discovered so far is that you most certainly aren’t too old, and it’s not a requirement to have a specific personality type to be a trainer. So that leaves us with objection number three: your fear.’ Liz, as though giving a closing statement in court, leaned her hands on the table and looked directly into Gina’s eyes. ‘What are you scared of?’
Suddenly the chair beneath her felt uncomfortable, hard, rigid, and the walls seemed to close in around her. Warmth rushed throughout Gina’s bloodstream as she came to a realisation. ‘I’m scared of ... disappointing my husband and family.’ Her voice quivering, she looked down at her hands, wringing them repeatedly.
Zoe, seated next to her, extended her hand to still Gina’s.
A puzzled look appeared on Liz’s face. ‘Why would becoming a personal trainer disappoint your husband and family, Gina?’
‘Because my husband wants children, my parents want grandchildren, and changing careers would put that on hold. And by then I might not be able to have children.’ She rubbed her fingertips against her temples, crazily wishing a mild migraine would manifest so she could leave early and go to the safety and comfort of her bed. Hot tears fought to escape, but she kept them locked up. She looked at Liz. ‘We haven’t had any luck conceiving as yet, and I’m sick of trying. I just want to get on with enjoying my life.’
‘Are you saying you don’t want children?’ asked Liz.
‘Yes. No. I don’t know!’ Her heart pounded and she tugged at the neckline of her top.
‘Okay, Gina.’ Liz sat close to her. ‘If you had the choice between falling pregnant right now, or studying fitness and starting a new career, what would you do?’ Time seemed to stand still for a few moments, the women mesmerised, silently waiting for a response.
‘I’d start a new career,’ Gina whispered, her body completely still.
Liz stood. ‘Then you know what you have to do, don’t you? ’
Gina gulped. ‘I have to tell my husband.’ The thought of what lay ahead paralysed her. Now she didn’t want to leave early and go home. She wanted to stay here, in this chair, where she felt supported and she didn’t have to face Marvin.
‘Gina, remember what I advised Cara last month; make sure you consider your husband’s feelings about the issue, and accept that he will be upset. Now, it’s not like you’re telling him you don’t want children at all, because it doesn’t look like you’re completely sure either way yet. However, I can see that you really want this new career now, and staying in this unhappy situation you’re in will only make things worse.’ Liz placed her hand on Gina’s shoulder. ‘Before you talk to him, look into what’s involved in becoming a personal trainer. Get some course brochures, and get clear on the practicalities, such as: when you could start, how long it would take to become qualified, and how you’ll manage financially. Talk to your personal trainer friend, write down a possible plan of action, and show it to your husband. Open up, and talk to him about it. Mention that it could be best to train now before possibly having a baby so that it’s easier on your body, and that it’s a career you could also work around motherhood.’ Liz glanced briefly at Miranda then back at Gina. ‘And if you decide you do want children in future, you could also discuss the possibility of freezing your eggs to buy you some time, as a back-up.’
Gina nodded gently, knowing if she wanted to change the direction her life was heading in, it was now or never. When she didn’t allow herself to think about Marvin’s probable reaction, she felt excited at the prospect of a fitness career. She could imagine herself arriving at the gym, a client ready and waiting to absorb her advice, and she’d be able to watch them transform their body step-by-step. It would be so rewarding. Maybe she’d even write a fitness book one day, she’d be good at writing up her knowledge into a structured plan of action. In her mind she saw charts, checklists, and tips in easy-to-read point form. And photographs demonstrating each exercise, with detailed instructions accompanying them. Gina Longwood ~ personal trainer, health and fitness expert, and author. The prospect made her feel alive. She could even come up with her own weight loss program and start her own Bootcamp.
Yes! She wanted this.
Squaring her shoulders, Gina rose from her chair with a surge of energy, and true to her uncharacteristic behaviour tonight, wrapped her arms around Liz. All the women clapped at Gina’s breakthrough. A few women hugged her too. She wasn’t normally the ‘huggy’ type, but she felt closer to this group of women than she did to her own husband, and she needed the support if she was to go ahead with this.
After Liz shared Grandma Joy’s Words of Wisdom and the meeting ended, Shauna came over to Gina with a concerned look on her face and placed her hands on her toned shoulders. ‘Gina, with all this exercise you’re doing, your body’s probably using up nutrients at a rapid rate.’ She pulled a brochure from her hessian shoulder bag. ‘This natural green smoothie formula would be of great benefit to you, it contains twenty-seven vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants, all in a highly concentrated wholefood form. Just mix with water and drink. I highly recommend it.’
A green smoothie. Marvin would have a field day making fun of that one. ‘Thanks.’ She accepted the brochure. Shauna was a teacher at a small alternative school by day, and a product-pusher by night. And, an environmental activist on weekends. She wouldn’t stop until the world surrendered to her influence.
Miranda approached. ‘Maybe you can be my trainer one day, Gina. I really need to shape up.’
‘Sure. But don’t wait, I can recommend a great trainer you can see now, here at the gym.’
‘Oh, what’s her name?’
‘Naomi.’
Why did a look of terror suddenly appear on Miranda’s face?