Chapter 1
CHAPTER ONE
Juliette Ansell pulled the collar of her coat in, the biting wind making her shiver.
Her gloved hand was snug, her husband Danny’s wrapped tightly around it as they walked along the South Bank of the Thames.
London was looking bleak, but the day was ending early, lights lit up everywhere as a new year began.
The question hung over them as they dodged the crowds.
It was the second of January. She suspected lots of people were probably in the swing of making plans.
Getting a new job, writing a book, having a baby.
Planning a wedding, a big birthday, a holiday.
Making and breaking resolutions, setting out goals for the next twelve months.
Juliette and Danny were making plans too, but they were reluctant to leave the previous year behind.
Juliette’s youngest sister had got married; her older sister had found a new job.
Her dad’s cancer had gone into remission, and her mum was getting better by the week after a recent fall left her with a broken leg.
Danny’s brother had come home from the army and there had been many family reunions.
Two of their friends, who they never even expected to become a couple, got engaged.
Danny’s parents had celebrated their golden wedding anniversary.
Everything was looking good for their family now.
Except they weren’t a family anymore.
Their daughter, Emily, had died last summer. She had been fine one day and gone two days later. They’d noticed the telltale signs of meningitis quite early on, but the disease had ravaged her tiny body and, in the end, it had given up.
Emily was three weeks shy of her fifth birthday. That day itself had gone by in a blink. Who would want to celebrate the birth and death of their child at the same time?
Now, they bought coffee and doughnuts. Spying an empty bench, they sat down, looking over the water.
There was a peaceful calm about it and despite the cold it was enjoyable.
The buildings along the riverside were impressive, as well as familiar.
Westminster Bridge and the London Eye to their left.
Blackfriars Bridge to their right. People were wrapped up warm wherever they looked.
Juliette originated from Tamworth but had always loved London.
Yet when Emily died, everything around her became familiarly painful.
Grief overwhelmed her at every turn. Driving by the park Emily walked past to get to school.
Anastasia, Emily’s friend’s house two streets away.
The café on the main road where they took breakfast most Sunday mornings.
Then there was everyone they knew. The mums from the school run and play dates. The people in the local pub and the restaurants they frequented. Neighbours and friends. Danny’s work colleagues. It was all a bit too much.
As they’d spent their first Christmas without her, they’d discussed moving out of the city.
They had options. They could sell up here completely or do it half and half, buying a small flat and a property out of the city so that Danny could commute.
The first choice had been favourable the more they discussed it.
‘What do you think?’ Danny asked as he gazed out over the river.
Juliette sipped her coffee before answering. ‘What do you think?’ She turned to look at him and they shared a smile. It was as if neither of them wanted to say out loud what they wanted to do.
‘Okay, I’ll go first.’ Danny turned towards her a little. ‘I think we should move to the Midlands. We’ll be nearer to my family as well as yours. We’ll buy a cottage and take a lease out on a flat. You move in, I’ll look for a job up there and commute until I do.’
Juliette looked at him, the man she had loved since she was eighteen.
Seventeen years they had been together, the last ten of those as a married couple.
She loved Danny with all her heart. But something was missing.
They both knew it. They needed to start again.
Where the memories wouldn’t haunt them as much on a daily basis.
‘And you’ll visit Emily?’ she asked, her voice low and breaking with emotion. Emily had been cremated, but her ashes were in their local cemetery.
‘Of course! And you can stay with me whenever you wish. It will give us the chance to try out the best of both worlds. See if we like being country bumpkins before we throw in the towel completely.’
Juliette still wasn’t sure. She was ninety per cent there, but not yet fully committed.
‘There are too many reminders of what could have been,’ Danny said. ‘I know in time the grief will get easier, and the memories will always be here.’ He pointed first to his head, then his heart.
Juliette swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded, deciding there and then. ‘I think we should do it.’
Danny moved closer to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and drawing her in close. ‘If we hate it, we can move to another part of London on our return.’
‘Do you think we’ll hate it?’
He paused. ‘No. Do you?’
She paused too. ‘No.’
‘Then we’ll do it. We won’t probably move until spring anyway. Deal?’
She looked up at him. He leaned over and kissed her gently.
‘Deal,’ she replied.
They sat in companionable silence, watching the world go by.
Juliette was glad now they’d made a decision.
It was something to concentrate on. Christmas had been a bad time, the pain seeping in with every new December day.
Now the new year would start with optimism, plans for the future.
It wasn’t as if they were moving on from Emily.
They were doing it to help them heal, forget their sorrow. Make new memories.
It was the right thing to do, she was sure.