Chapter 31
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Louisa had exhausted herself cooking Richard a Sunday dinner.
He insisted on all the trimmings and that they were home-made.
She’d baked an apple pie too, even though she’d felt giddy on her legs several times.
It was as if she couldn’t stand the heat in the kitchen.
She hoped he’d enjoy it as much as it had taken out of her.
But as he sat down at the table across from her, not even a smile or a thank you for the effort, she wondered why she even bothered to think otherwise.
‘You look rough,’ he said between mouthfuls of food.
Tears pricked her eyes. ‘I didn’t get much sleep last night.’
‘I know. You kept me awake with your tossing and turning.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘I’ve been thinking. We should hire a nanny.’
‘A nanny?’ She put down her cutlery. ‘Are you saying that I’m not a good mother?’
‘I just feel that you need some extra support with Daisy when things get on top of you.’
‘But I’m okay now. I feel much better.’ She pushed herself up from the chair. ‘Look, I’m up and about and I’m walking more. I went for a stroll around the garden this morning. Daisy loved it and—’
‘I’m going to put an advertisement out locally, see if anyone comes forward.’
‘I don’t need help.’
‘If you think back to how you’ve been lately, you’ll see that you do. You might be feeling better at the moment but what about next week and the week after? We can’t be having poor Daisy cooped up forever. She needs to get out with people.’
‘You are saying I’m a bad mother.’
Richard paused, his fists clenched.
Louisa visibly shrank and said nothing else. Richard was saying what he thought was the truth, not what was happening. She had been fine for a while now. But she didn’t dare to disagree with him for fear of retaliation.
‘I’ll get someone you can rely on,’ he told her before walking out of the room.
And just like that the conversation was over. Louisa felt as if she was being replaced. It wasn’t a nice feeling.
Over the next few weeks, Richard kept on at her, pressuring her into thinking it was for her own good.
In the end, she persuaded herself that she would have more time to do things she enjoyed.
Perhaps she could go back to work part-time in the coffee shop.
Or maybe she could help out with his business.
Suddenly there was an even bigger light at the end of the tunnel.
If she got better, she could leave and take Daisy with her.
Louisa had long known their marriage had become a sham.
People had stopped coming to see her because Richard was always putting them off.
He was controlling her. She didn’t know who she was any more. And she hated it.
So to humour him, she let him think she was willing.
But then her headaches started to worsen. She became confined to bed as she spent a lot of her days in a darkened room. The pain was debilitating. She had Daisy to think about, so she agreed to pass the main care over to another person, entrusting them to look after her daughter.
Of course Louisa had no say in who the nanny would be.
She expected Richard to employ an old fuddy-duddy who would dress her down and say she wasn’t looking after Daisy properly.
Luckily for her, whoever it was would be sleeping in the annexe.
She wouldn’t like someone under her roof.
She wouldn’t put it past Richard not to spy on them.
‘Do you think a visit from Sarah might do you good?’ Richard asked as she was dishing out supper.
Louisa froze momentarily. ‘My sister?’ She frowned. ‘You know I haven’t seen her in years.’
‘She might want to see her niece.’
‘She doesn’t even know about Daisy.’
‘So it would be good for you to catch up.’
Louisa thought about it for a moment. The last time she and Sarah had spoken was when they’d had that awful row, and she hadn’t seen her since. ‘It’s been too long.’ She shook her head sadly.
‘What’s time when you can reconnect again?’
Louisa sat down, wondering if he was playing a trick on her.
If she said she wanted to see Sarah, would he then say it was impossible?
Laugh at her for getting her hopes up? Over the years she had wondered how Sarah was, but she’d pushed it to the back of her mind the longer the silence between them had gone on.
Before she could respond, he picked up a bowl of potatoes and spooned some more onto his plate. ‘Let’s invite her to stay for a few days, a week perhaps.’
‘I suppose I could write to her, see if she’s still living with Mum. I doubt she will have moved out of the dump she made us call home.’
‘Do you have a mobile number for her?’
‘I have an old address book. If she’s on the same number, I can—’
‘Get me the book and leave it with me.’
Louisa nodded, knowing better than to argue the point. It really did seem as if he felt it was a good idea. And maybe if she could get her sister on side, she might have a chance of getting away with Daisy, to somewhere Richard wouldn’t find her. It was certainly worth thinking about.