Chapter 37
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Sarah had been at White Oaks for three days now. She’d been sitting in the garden with Louisa and Daisy when Richard came out of the studio.
‘I’ve finished early today. Thought I might cook my Indian special. What do you think, Louisa?’
‘What a treat!’ Louisa smiled, turning to Sarah. ‘Richard makes the most divine curry.’
Richard pulled out a chair and sat down with them. ‘Get me a beer,’ he said to Louisa.
Louisa stood up quickly, then hung on to the table.
‘Are you okay?’ Sarah sat forward.
‘I’m fine.’ Louisa waved a hand in front of her face. ‘It’s hot. I felt a little dizzy, that’s all.’
As she rushed off, Sarah glanced at Richard.
‘She’s always like that if you ask her to do anything,’ he muttered.
Louisa was back in a flash. But later that evening, as the aromas of the pending meal spread through the house, Louisa began to flake out. Before it was ready, she’d fallen asleep on the settee.
Sarah felt guilty prodding her awake. ‘Dinner will be ready in five minutes,’ she told her.
Louisa sat up, seeming disorientated as she looked around the room. ‘I’m not sure I’m up to it,’ she admitted.
‘Why don’t you go to bed for a little while?’ She held out her hand. ‘Would you like me to help you?’
Louisa shook her head. ‘Richard will be annoyed if—’
‘You leave him to me. If he says anything, I’ll defend you. He needs to realise that you’re poorly.’
Louisa’s weak smile was so full of gratitude that Sarah almost felt sorry for her.
And, although it was strange to see her sister so docile, Sarah didn’t mind in the slightest. It gave her time to put into place more plans.
Tonight could be her getting to know Richard evening.
Or more to the point, he would be getting to know her too.
Sarah went back into the kitchen, closing the door quietly behind her. Daisy had gone to bed half an hour ago so it was just the two of them.
‘Well, that’s both the kids down for the night,’ she joked about Louisa. ‘I doubt we’ll hear a peep out of either of them until the morning. Does Louisa often go to bed so early?’
‘Most nights.’ Richard sighed.
‘It must be really lonely for you.’
‘It is at times, but I bury myself in my work and forget. She’s very good with Daisy when she can be.’
‘But there’s you to consider too.’ Sarah wanted to add that Louisa couldn’t give him what he needed as a partner if she was tired all the time.
‘Oh, I’m fine.’ Richard held up two bottles of wine. ‘Red or white?’
‘Red please.’
‘Can I ask you something?’ Richard asked once they were seated with their food.
‘Sure.’ Sarah ripped off a chunk of naan bread and dipped it into the creamy mixture. ‘This is delicious, by the way.’
‘Thanks. It’s always puzzled me why you and Louisa lost touch. You seemed so close growing up.’
‘If you must know, we had an argument. I was young when she fell in love with you. She came to see me one weekend and I didn’t want her to leave.
One thing led to another and before we knew it, we were slinging mud at each other.
I stormed off; Louisa returned to you.’ She shrugged.
‘Looking back it was silly but neither of us would make the first move to get in touch. But having no parents to fall back on, Louisa was all I had and it hurt that she left me.’
‘I thought your mum and dad were still alive.’
‘They are. I don’t have a clue where Dad is, and Mum is still the bitter alcoholic she was. She barely moves from the house now.’
‘And as you resent them for abandoning you as a child, you thought the same of Louisa?’
‘Something like that.’
Richard paused to take a sip of wine.
‘I can understand where you’re coming from. My mum died of cancer when I was seven, and my father turned to drink too. Except he was violent with it.’
‘To you?’
He nodded and she smiled in empathy.
‘He hid a lot of things from me, but he’d often have women over and ill-treat them. He had several relationships, some lasting a few weeks, some a few months until he turned them off with his mannerisms. Let’s just say he wasn’t a happy drunk.’
Sarah watched as Richard’s eyes turned darker. It was as if he was going back in time to a place where he didn’t feel safe. Where there was no love, no one to rely on. She could understand that.
She reached across the table and gave his hand a squeeze. ‘It never gets any easier, does it? I don’t think I’ll ever feel that I belong anywhere. God help any man who wants to marry me. I’m going to be a nightmare to live with.’
‘Maybe you should have married someone like me.’ His eyes trained on hers. ‘It’s strange but Louisa doesn’t seem as affected as you are.’
‘That’s because she wasn’t left behind to fend for herself.’ Her words were almost caustic as she spit them out.
‘I’m sorry. You seem to have been in a lot of pain as a child.’
‘I had no one to trust except her. She looked after me, made sure I had food to eat. That I had clothes to wear. Took care of me when I was sick. That’s what our mum should have done but I guess I took things out on Louisa for leaving.
I’m not proud of that fact now, not when I see how poorly she is. ’
‘I was shocked to realise you didn’t know about Daisy. That must have hurt.’
‘It did.’ Sarah sighed. ‘She’s such a beautiful child.’
‘She’s quiet though.’
‘Perhaps she should be mixing with other children more. How often does she go to nursery? Or to mums and toddlers groups?’
‘She doesn’t.’
‘You mean she sees no one but you and Louisa?’
He nodded.
‘That’s not good for her.’
‘It would be too much for Louisa to take her out. She hasn’t left the house for over a year, no matter how I’ve tried to coerce her. Her doctor gives her another round of medication every time she has an appointment. I swear it’s all those tablets she pops that make her this way.’
Sarah took a sip of wine before speaking again. ‘Have you mentioned this to him?’
‘Many times but he says she’ll come out of her depression when she’s ready. It can last for years. He also says that she may be bipolar and the delivery of the baby was only circumstantial to her diagnosis.’
‘In other words, he doesn’t have a clue what’s wrong with her.’
‘I assume not. There’s been no official diagnosis of ME. Louisa tells people she has it as it gives her the label to use.’
‘She’s certainly changed since she left Derby.’ She stared at Richard. ‘I wasn’t sure I’d hear from her again so your message took me by surprise.’
‘I wasn’t sure if you would come or not. You have a right to be upset with her.’
‘She’s also my family. If I can forgive her, then I can move on.’
It was Richard’s turn to stare. ‘It’s a shame you don’t live nearer. You’re great company.’
‘Cheers.’
He poured more wine and they clinked glasses. ‘Would you consider the nanny post? I think you’d make a great job of it.’
She paused for drama. ‘I’m thinking about it,’ she replied.
‘Good.’
As he turned to gaze out of the window, Sarah wished she could crawl into his head and see what he was thinking. Did he really love Louisa or was he putting up with her because of Daisy? It was time to do more digging as the week went on.