Chapter 44
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
Sarah woke up to the sound of the alarm going off. Her daughter, Poppy, who was nine months old, stirred in her cot at the bottom of the bed.
Jessie was asleep beside her. She tried to nudge him awake to no avail.
He’d been out the night before and had a skinful.
Not that that was anything unusual. Since having Poppy he’d been going out with his mates more and more, often returning drunk.
Even more worrying she thought he might be taking drugs again.
She’d noticed a difference in him since Poppy had arrived. He seemed to be losing weight, and his mood swings had become quite violent at times. Twice she’d had to stop him from hitting out when he’d raised his hand in the air.
She lay in bed for a few minutes, relishing the time before she had to get up and start another crappy day. It was Jessie’s turn to have Poppy today while she went to work. She’d bagged a double shift at the biscuit factory where she swore she would never work.
‘Jessie, wake up.’ She shook his shoulder and he gave a groan.
‘What?’ he snapped.
‘I have to get ready for work and you need to look after Poppy today. Jessie!’
‘It’s Saturday.’
‘I have overtime. You can’t say we don’t need the money. Wake up!’
‘Give it a rest, will you.’
‘You have to, you promised.’
He turned away from her.
Sarah sighed and pulled back the covers. ‘I’ll get her breakfast.’ She went over to the cot. Poppy was playing with her feet, the brightest of smiles appearing when she spotted her mum.
‘Good morning, my angel.’ She picked her up, kissing the top of her head.
‘Let’s get you sorted and then we can have breakfast before I have to leave.
’ She glanced at Jessie who had gone back to sleep.
She wanted to be childish and pull off the duvet.
Ever since he’d started hanging round with Hudson, his new work colleague at the garage, Jessie had changed.
Hudson was single and his parents were loaded, so he didn’t understand what Jessie was going through.
They barely had enough money to pay for things, which was why they were living with Jessie’s mum in the double bedroom at the back of the house.
Once she and Poppy were ready to face the day, Sarah went downstairs.
Paulette, Jessie’s mum, was in the kitchen. Like Jessie, she was tall with olive skin. She was wearing pink pyjamas, almost matching the colour of her short hair. Her face showed years of smoking twenty cigarettes a day, even though she had given up a while ago.
Paulette held out her arms for Poppy and Sarah handed her over.
She got on well with Paulette, thankfully.
It was hard when Ethan came over too. Paulette loved having two grandchildren, but Sarah always felt wary of Ethan’s mum, Shannon.
She would always ask for money from Jessie, even though she knew he had none spare.
Often she’d seen her flirting with him and wondered if they were an item again.
But then he’d wink at her and the doubts would go away, for that moment anyway.
‘Where’s Jessie?’ Paulette asked.
‘He’s still in bed. I have to go to work soon. I hope he gets up. He needs to look after Poppy.’
‘I can help. I love spending time with this one.’
‘I know you do and I’m really grateful, but I wish Jessie would do more, rather than leaving it to us all the time.’
‘He’s just like his dad. Daryl was a crap father too. He left everything to me until we got divorced. Did I ever tell you why?’
Sarah nodded, hoping she wouldn’t tell her again that she caught him with his trousers down, his bare arse going up and down as he pushed himself into her best friend. She made a big show of checking her watch.
‘I’d better shout Jessie again.’
‘Don’t worry.’ Paulette blew raspberries on Poppy’s tummy much to her delight. ‘I’ll look after her until he surfaces.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Of course.’ She smiled. ‘You’re a good mother, Sarah. And you’re providing for her too. You’re doing a great job. Now, off you go, before you’re late.’
On the bus to the factory, Sarah thanked her lucky stars for Paulette.
She thought back to what her own mother had said to her when she’d told her she was pregnant.
She hadn’t seen her for three months now.
Unless she called round with Poppy, Mum never wanted to know.
She never rang to see how she was. It was the same with Louisa.
Out of sight, out of mind. She was a nobody to her family, and yet she didn’t understand why.
Sarah had never felt so lonely. Most of her friends were out enjoying themselves, not lumbered with children.
Okay, some of them had got pregnant early on but there were lots more that were working and their money wasn’t going on family stuff.
They were buying clothes and shoes and handbags, going out in the evenings to enjoy themselves. Doing normal things that teenagers did.
Even her best friend, Hannah, had dropped off now. When Poppy was first born, Hannah had been there for her. She’d helped her with the feeds, kept her company when she was tired and Poppy wasn’t sleeping well. She’d even taken Poppy out on occasions to give her a break.
But that had stopped when the novelty wore off.
When Poppy began to do more than sleep, and became more demanding.
Sarah had to cancel no end of nights out and soon the invites dried up.
The last she’d seen of Hannah was when she’d bumped into her in town and she’d said she was off to meet Jade for coffee.
She’d asked her to come along too, but with Poppy in tow, who would want that?
And it had been clear from Hannah’s face that it had been small talk rather than a proper invite.
Still, Sarah had Poppy to think about now and that was all that mattered to her.
She was thinking of going back to college that autumn, perhaps to catch up on the course she’d been halfway through.
There was a creche and she was hoping to drop Poppy off there when she had lectures and classes.
Sarah wasn’t one for settling. She wanted to do the best for her, and Poppy, come what may.