Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
DELANEY
E mma and I made plans to meet for drinks once Blake got into town and Flynn had unwittingly been volunteered for babysitting duty. Honestly, I was more worried about what Cade would learn from Flynn than him having any trouble babysitting. Cade wouldn’t be any trouble whatsoever. It was why Blake liked hanging out with him so much.
As I pulled up to the house this time, that dread I’d felt before wasn’t there. I peered out of the windshield at the beautiful house in front of me and that sense of coming home hit me hard. This had been such a happy place for me as a kid. Maybe it could be again? I shook my head even as the thought popped into my head. I might have misjudged Willowbrook, but it didn’t take away from the fact that this town was practically owned by the Farringtons. Seeing Trace at the pond had been like stepping into the past, but moving here? Living here on a full-time basis? I wouldn’t subject Cade to the wrath of Regina, and there was no way he could avoid her if we moved our life here. Cade never asked about his father’s side of the family. Even if there wasn’t an image of them in his mind, I didn’t want to replace it with the reality of Regina and the toxicity she took everywhere with her. No one was going to treat my baby like she no doubt would.
A wave of maternal vengeance swept through me, and I stepped out of the car, seeing this place for what it really was. A beautiful past that was best left exactly as that. The past. Letting it go was the best way to preserve those memories, but before I could do that, I knew I’d have to face Trace. Even if it wasn’t for him to tell me whatever it was that he suddenly had the need to say, I deserved the chance to say my piece, to point at his shitty behavior and show him how I hadn’t let it break me.
Maybe that was childish.
Maybe it was petty.
But did it really matter?
When I walked through the door, the first thing I saw were those damn boxes again, and I sighed. I genuinely had no idea what to do next, and the need to pull the notebook out of my bag and start to make lists was making my brain itch.
I wished Blake and Cade were here as I looked around at the empty echoing rooms and the mountain of jobs that needed to be done. My father might have helpfully packed the majority of the house away, but what was I supposed to do with the boxes? They wouldn’t fit into the two-bedroom apartment I had in the city. So, that left me with going through every single box and determining what to donate and what I wanted to keep. An entire family’s lifetime packed into boxes was a whole hell of a lot of boxes.
So, instead of doing what I was supposed to do, instead of looking at the boxes, searching for the paperwork I needed to find, I slumped down onto the couch instead. My head tipped back onto the soft cushion, and I closed my eyes as I sighed.
The point of me coming here before Cade was to make sure that I had enough done to limit his time in this place. I shouldn’t be sitting here feeling sorry for myself. I should be doing what I needed to do to protect my son.
But there was one question that kept itching at the edge of my mind, and as much as I’d tried to ignore it up until now, the silence of the house and the nostalgia of a past I couldn’t bring myself to regret made it impossible to ignore any longer.
Was I supposed to let Cade meet Trace?
He was such an amazing kid, and he deserved to know about his father. Trace would be at the funeral. The whole town would be. Which meant that it was likely the entire Farrington family would be there. Or at least those that were left in town. Regina wouldn’t let the family lose face by not showing up. It wouldn’t be the proper thing to do, even if she wasn’t really welcome.
There would be gossip. Especially when they were all in the same room together. I couldn’t let that be how Cade found out who his father was. Which meant that on top of everything else I was dealing with, it was time for me to sit my son down and tell him all about his dad.
I winced as I went over the conversation in my mind. Unfortunately for me, I wasn’t a terrible person. I wasn’t going to bad mouth Trace to Cade. The time we’d been together had been some of the best of my life, and it had given me Cade, the most precious gift I’d ever received. Yes, it ended terribly, and it took me years of therapy to deal with the grief of losing everything that I had. But I was on the other side of that now. I could look back and see the happy times. Cade deserved to know about them, and the more I thought about it, the worse I felt for not having done it sooner.
It wasn’t like I’d kept Trace a secret. The kid didn’t have to be smart to know that he had a father somewhere. He knew it was someone from Willowbrook. Was that part of why he wanted to come and live here?
I sat up straight, looking around at the old house again like it could somehow hold all the answers. My gaze immediately went to the fireplace and the spot on the mantel that had once held the photograph of my mother. That was something I needed to find. She deserved better than to be relegated to some box that ended up in storage.
My eyes filled with tears at the thought of the mother I’d never had a chance to know, and I was hit with so much shame I didn’t know what to do with it. I knew what it felt like to have the shadow of a missing parent in my life, and so did my own kid. In all this time, I’d never seen it from that perspective before, but now that I did, I couldn’t believe I’d been so callous. That I’d let my own sadness take something away from Cade that he deserved to have.
It wasn’t all down to me, though. Trace had been the one to push me out of his life with the help of his mother. But that had been ten years ago. He could have changed his mind since then, and as much as I didn’t think he deserved a second chance at being a father, Cade deserved the chance to get to know him, at least. For all his faults and failings, Trace deserved a chance to get to know how great of a kid Cade was. But first, I’d have to have that talk Trace desperately wanted and see where he stood on the matter.
Damn, why couldn’t I be at least slightly terrible? Being a good person really did suck at times.
How did I start that conversation, though?
Hey, remember that kid you abandoned? How do you feel about meeting him so he at least has some closure of being able to put a face to the moron who decided he wasn’t enough for him?
To the point. Makes my feelings known in a firm yet passive-aggressive manner.
Honestly, I saw no problem with it.
Ugh, obviously, I couldn’t do that. I wished Blake was here. She’d hold my hand while I worked up the courage to talk to him. She’d give me some great speech about how I was a kick-ass woman, and I could do anything I put my mind to. Although, thinking about it, she’d wholeheartedly approve of calling Trace something worse than a moron, so maybe that wasn’t the best idea either.
I could do it over the phone? That way, I didn’t have to look him in the eye when he rejected me himself this time.
The Trace I’d seen at the pond didn’t seem like he was going to push me away though. Was that what I wanted? A second chance with a man I didn’t know if I could ever really trust? That was a hell no if ever I heard one.
Being back here in this town, in this house, was messing with my head. The quicker I could get back to my own life, the better.
Almost like my cell phone knew I was thinking of using it, it vibrated in my pocket, and I sighed. If this was Trace and the universe was trying to tell me to get this done, I wasn’t answering the call. Sorry, universe, but I needed a minute to figure out how to have this conversation without being an ass.
When I looked at the screen and saw that it was my father’s lawyer calling, I sighed in relief. That had to be something that had never happened before. Relief for a call from a lawyer.
“Hello.”
“Ms. James, this is Michael Hardin calling from Greenberg and Morgan.”
I rolled my eyes, slightly grateful that they couldn’t see me. Of course, I knew it was them; it said on the screen.
“Hi.” I winced. I’d done that bit already, and the pause that followed showed that it hadn’t gone unnoticed.
The lawyer cleared his throat awkwardly. “Yes…I’m calling to discuss the property sale that your father asked me to make inquiries for. I have an interested party from within the area.”
“Oh.” I sat up straighter as a mix of emotions flooded me. This was really happening.
“The Farrington Group has expressed an interest, and they’re drawing up some paperwork with an offer for you for the entire parcel of land. I’ve worked with them previously and haven’t had any issues with them. They were very keen when we discussed the sale, and I’m anticipating a generous offer. Their representative asked if you could go to the office to pick up the paperwork to review.”
Of course, it was the Farringtons. They owned everything in Willowbrook. What was one more piece to them? Was this Trace’s way of forcing the conversation he wanted to have?
“It seems unusual that they wouldn’t send the details of the offer straight through to you,” I said carefully.
“Hmmm, perhaps a little unorthodox. I suspect they’re just trying to speed things along. Their representative mentioned having time in their schedule to see you this afternoon if you have the time.”
I wanted to say no. There was even a part of me that wanted to tell him to find a different buyer, but Willowbrook wasn’t exactly flooded with real estate opportunities. It would be difficult to sell the house and the land this quickly, and if I wanted to get this over with, this would be the fastest way to do it.
“I’m confident they’ll make you a fair offer,” the lawyer added when I didn’t answer immediately. “And if this afternoon doesn’t work for you, I can ask them to contact you to arrange a mutually convenient time.”
Somehow, I doubted anything that came from the Farringtons would be fair. Then I winced. That probably wasn’t fair. Regina might be the devil, and Trace and I hadn’t ended on the best terms, but the rest of them weren’t that bad. There was a time when I wouldn’t have ever thought that about Trace.
“No. It’s fine. I can make time this afternoon. Did they say any particular time?”
I looked at my watch to see that it was just past lunch. I’d only just got back to the house, but there wasn’t much by way of food here. This morning had been so full of making arrangements with people in town that I’d forgotten to go to the store, so as much as I might not want to, I needed to head out again, anyway.
“Anytime this afternoon.”
We fell into another awkward silence, and I got the impression this guy was waiting for me to get excited about the prospect of the sale going through this quickly.
Why wasn’t I? This was supposed to be what I wanted. Even setting aside the awkward, or rather incredibly aggressive conversation I was inevitably about to have with Trace, this was a massive step in the leaving Willowbrook forever plan. I should be happy.
And yet I wasn’t.