Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
DELANEY
T he barn door swung open with a suspicious screech of the hinges that had me making a mental note to get it looked at soon. If we were staying on the farm, we’d need to hire someone to help out. Even without the animals, there was going to be some upkeep, not to mention all the odd jobs that my father had clearly been putting off as he’d started to feel the effects of his illness.
Cade darted inside without a care in the world. The kid had absolutely no sense of danger, and I shouted after him, “Be careful! We don’t know what’s in here. Let me at least find the light.”
“This is so cool,” he shouted back, clearly having made it a lot further inside than I’d anticipated.
I fumbled along the wall, searching for the switch. I was certain it had been around here somewhere. Most of the barns were set up the same way, and this was the third one we’d explored this morning. It shouldn’t be this difficult to find.
This morning, showing Cade and Blake around the farm had seemed like a good idea. Now, I was pretty sure I was prematurely going gray from the stress of trying to prevent Cade from dying by farm machinery.
“What is this stuff?” Cade called out just as I found the light switch and the murky gloom of the inside of the barn was suddenly illuminated.
It took me a moment to clear my eyes from the sudden bright light, and then they widened in wonder.
“I can’t believe he still has all of this,” I gasped as I wandered further inside.
Blake went straight to the crates of bottles in the corner. “Whoa, was Daddy James holding out on us?”
She pulled a bottle free, holding it up to the light to see what was inside.
None of the bottles were labeled. They never had been. This wasn’t something that had been made for resale, even if it did sometimes exchange hands with the town locals when there was a big party happening somewhere.
“It’s cider,” I told her, going over to the press and turning the handle to see if it still worked. “Has he still been making this all this time?”
Blake looked at the impressive stack of crates in the corner with a grin. “I’d say so.”
“Can we drink it?” Cade asked, eyeing the bottles in interest.
“Erm, probably. We just need to figure out which is cider and which is hard cider. You know, I used to make this with Grandpa when I was your age,” I told Cade, wrapping an arm around his shoulders as he came over to stare into the press. “My mom planted the orchard, and we used the fruit from there to make it.”
Cade wrapped his arm around my waist and leaned into my side. “This is really cool.”
My stomach pitched for what felt like the millionth time since we’d got here. I could see why Cade wanted to stay. For a kid who grew up in the city, a place like this would seem like a massive adventure. Maybe it was worth it. Maybe the life we could build here would make up for any difficulties we had with Trace and his family living in the same town.
Blake must have seen my face because she called across to us, “Hey Cade, how about we go and check out this orchard? There’s got to be a tree around here somewhere that you can climb.”
He immediately leaped into the air, fist-pumping as he did. “Yes! Race you there.”
And then he darted out the barn door.
Blake came to join me, and we slowly made our way out of the barn.
“He doesn’t know where he’s going,” I pointed out, and she just shrugged.
“He’ll come back when he figures that out. How much trouble can he really get into running around this place?”
We weren’t too far from the house, but the orchard was in the other direction than I could see Cade currently running off to.
“Cade! This way!”
He turned quicker than should have been possible and darted back toward us.
“The kid has more energy than any one person has a right to.” Blake laughed. “At least he seems to be doing okay with all this.”
“Yeah.” I watched as Cade gave us a toothy grin as he ran past and carried on up the track, which would eventually lead him into the orchard. “I’m worried that it means he’s not really dealing with it at all, though.”
“I think he’s dealing with it all in his own way. Maybe that’s why he seems so fixed on moving here. Being in Willowbrook is probably raising more questions than he’s ever really considered, or felt like he could ask.” I winced at that.
How could I not?
It was clear that I should have been more open with Cade about where he came from a long time ago.
“I’m worried about you,” Blake added, and I looked at her in surprise.
“What do you mean? I’m fine. Busy. Overwhelmed. But I’m getting through it all.” I could hear the slightly too high pitch of my voice as I rambled over my excuses. I wasn’t even convincing myself.
“Hmmm. Are you though?”
I sighed. If ever there was a person that I could be honest with, it was Blake. I didn’t even know why I was even trying to avoid the issue. I’d feel far better about this whole situation if I talked it out with her.
I sighed again, and she raised an eyebrow, knowing I was trying to put off answering. “I’m angry,” I admitted. “I’m angry that he didn’t tell me. I’m angry that he thought it was more important to do all this than to let me help him. And I’m so angry that I don’t feel like I have room to be sad, and that just makes me feel…guilty. Because he did all this for me, and it feels like he made the ultimate sacrifice to try to make this process even the tiniest bit easier for me. And all I can do is have a tantrum and not even appreciate it. What kind of person does that make me?”
“I’d say it makes you a normal person.” Blake leaned her head against my shoulder and then continued. “I think you feel exactly how a lot of people in your position would feel. You won’t feel like this forever, Delaney. It’s just a way of processing. And when you’ve had the chance to do that, the grief is going to hit. When it does, I’m going to be here for you.”
I sniffled, feeling that ache inside my chest that I didn’t want to acknowledge yet. Because it wasn’t just that I was angry. I wasn’t ready to be sad yet. There was so much to do. So much uncertainty hanging over us all. I was the only one left to look out for Cade and Blake as well. I had to hold it together for them. I had to give my father the funeral he deserved. And once we were through that, once I had nothing else left to focus on but getting through the usual day to day, that would be my time when I could finally admit that it hurt. That it hurt more than I thought was possible to bear. I’d cry all the tears that felt like they were drowning me. And maybe I’d be lucky enough to find some kind of peace in the end.
Cade came skipping back to us, excitement lighting up his face and the biggest smile on his face. “There are sooooo many trees.”
He had no idea what he’d interrupted, but it didn’t matter because he came bounding up to me and threw his arms around my waist. This kid made the world stop spinning slightly too fast because when he was with me, it was impossible to focus on anything else.
“They’re fruit trees, too,” I told him. “Every year, this whole place smells like apples.”
His eyes widened like I’d told him something impressive, and I squeezed him tighter to me for a moment as we all walked into the old orchard.
“I don’t think we should build a treehouse in here,” Cade said seriously. “These trees already have an important job to do.”
“That’s a good point.”
He shuffled a bit and then looked up at me. “Why does someone want to buy this place? Is it so they can live here instead?”
I cocked my head to the side, wondering if that was why Cade really wanted to stay. Did he just not want to share this place with anyone else?
“No, sweetheart. They want to build a big hotel and put a golf course here.”
“What will happen to the trees?” he asked, looking down the rows of apple trees that were older than I was.
“I guess they’ll have to cut them down.”
I hadn’t thought about that until now. The house would probably be knocked down too. This whole place would be wiped clean off the map and something else put in its place. Nothing would be left of my family, of me, in Willowbrook.
“That’s sad,” Cade whispered.
“I don’t get it,” Blake suddenly blurted out. “Like, I get it that they want to bring in tourism into the area and make jobs and stuff, but how is this going to do that?”
“I doubt it will. Or at least it won’t do what the town needs it to do. We need families moving here, people who are going to build businesses and create a place where others want to visit. They need kids who are going to fill the schools and people who will contribute to the economy by shopping at the grocery store and visiting the local mechanic. All this place will do will be to bring in some rich people who stay at the hotel to play golf. They’re not going to go into town. It doesn’t have the fancy boutiques to shop in or high-end restaurants that would appeal to them.”
Blake was nodding along in agreement, but there was something in her eye that always meant she had a point she was about to drive home, and I was completely falling for it.
“So, if you were going to do it differently, what would you do?” she asked, trying to make it sound like a simple question and completely failing.
“It needs smaller bed-and-breakfast places or cute little country inns. The types of shops that tourists want to visit that sell local artisan products, experiences, and town events. Things that draw in people from the city who want to experience the quiet of small-town life and then end up staying because they never want to go back to the noise.”
Blake grinned, and Cade started to run circles around us. They were totally working together on this.
“Then we should stay!” Cade cheered. “Stop the hotel and make something better.”
I squinted in annoyance at Blake. There was no way she wasn’t a part of this too.
“I bet I could open up such a cute little gallery around here,” she said, trying to sound all innocent like it had only just occurred to her. “And Cade would be a perfect candidate for one of those kids you want to go to the school.”
“Yes! I’m awesome at school,” Cade cheered again.
“Now we just need to figure something out for your mom,” Blake added, one finger tapping her chin as if she was starting to think it through. “Hmmm, maybe a business in town. I wonder if she’s put any thought into starting her own business recently.”
Cade screeched to a stop in front of me, and I stumbled, trying not to walk straight into him. I was being ambushed by my own son! At nine years old, he’d totally out-maneuvered me, even if he had gotten a little help from a certain mischievous best friend.
“I bet she can think of something,” Cade said, reaching out for the end. “She’s the smartest mom in the whole wide world.”
Wow, they were going in for the kill with flattery.
“Is this your way of asking if we can stay?”
I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that it had crossed my mind a few times, too. This place was filled with so many happy memories of an amazing childhood, and I wanted that for my son, too. Why should I deprive him of that just because of a few people who happened to live here too? It’s not like everyone here always got along. There was no law that said we had to be the best of friends with everyone in town.
“Is this your way of saying that you’ll think about it?” Blake countered.
I’d expected it to come from Cade, but I was kind of surprised that she was pushing so hard for this as well.
“Maybe.” I squinted in suspicion as Blake and Cade exchanged a look that I had no idea the meaning of.
“We can accept those terms,” Cade said, holding out his hand for me to shake.
I did, more out of confusion than anything else.
“I have no idea what just happened,” I admitted.
“It’s best that you don’t.” Blake patted me on the shoulder, and I turned my back in the direction we’d been walking as Cade grabbed my hand and started to pull me along.
I had a terrible feeling that I’d just fallen into the start of some master plan. The worst part was that I might have to admit that my nine-year-old knew better than I did about what was the best future for our family.