11. Foster
11
FOSTER
I … Raina stared at me as if I were talking in a foreign language. Then, she began to shake her head. No. That s—Are you sure? How do you know?
My friends told me this morning, I said, wincing in apology. I guess you were at their party last night. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her that she d been with her sister, but then I d probably have to tell her that her sister had died along with her, and I just couldn t do that yet. From what I was told, you learned I was at Javonte Witt s place, so you left to go to Javonte s. My buddy Parker paid for your ride.
Snapping her fingers, she pointed at me, murmuring, Yes. Parker. I remember Parker. Pausing to tip her head thoughtfully, she added, I think he wanted to sleep with me.
Yes, he did, I acknowledged. But you wanted to meet me , so he sent you to where I was. Except you got into an accident on the way. Swallowing roughly, I glanced away and admitted, You never made it to Javonte s. I was told this morning that you were still fighting for your life, but if you re here—like this—you must not have made it. Turning back to her, I choked out, And it s my fault. You were in that car because of me, and I—I m so sorry, Raina. You d still be alive right now if it weren t for me.
It s not your fault, she said, shaking her head. I m the one who made the decision to try to go meet you. You—you didn t even know what was happening.
But—
And besides, are we completely sure I m dead?
Well… I motioned to her body that Reed hadn t seen at all.
But you said your friend told you this morning that I was still alive, right?
I nodded, not catching on. Right.
Then how could dead -me appear to you on the roof of that house last night—after my accident—if I was still alive then?
I—Huh. She made a good point. Picking up my phone, I admitted, I don t know.
Raina bounced on the mattress beside me and began to clap excitedly. So it s possible I m still alive.
It s very possible, I murmured, logging into my phone and beginning to search for news updates about her accident.
The first subject line to pop up started with Fatal Car Crash Takes the Lives of …
Fatal? Raina echoed in doom as she read over my shoulder, and I quickly pressed the phone to my chest to hide the screen.
Wincing, I said, Maybe I should read this first.
But— She blinked at me as if I were insane. It s my life.
What if there are gory details that traumatize you into becoming one of those angry, violent ghosts who terrorize whole cities and?—
Oh please. She rolled her eyes. I would never. But… With a cringe, she rolled her hand, urging me to go ahead and read the article without her. I guess I don t particularly want to hear painful details about my own death—I mean, if I did die, which I m fairly certain I didn t. I really don t feel dead.
Alright. I nodded, relieved that she was going to let me read this alone.
As I started to skim, she slid off the bed and paced my room, chewing on her fingernails.
So, I guess the drivers of both vehicles died, I murmured with a regretful flinch as I refrained from mentioning the death of her sister yet again.
Oh, man. Raina pressed a palm to her head and shuddered. This was bad, wasn t it?
Yeah. I nodded as I finished the article. And… As of five hours ago, you were the only survivor of the wreck.
Five hours ago? She turned to blink at me. But what about now?
I shook my head. Nothing s been mentioned more recently than that.
I would ve texted my friends and asked, but it was too late to bother them.
So I m still alive, she decided with a convinced nod. Yes ! Fisting her hands into the air, she started to dance around my room. I knew it. I knew it. I just knew it. My body is still out there, breathing and fighting and just waiting for me to climb back inside it. Oh crap… Glancing over at me, she said, We need to get me to my body. Like, right now.
But it s— I checked the time. It s almost one in the morning.
So? She shook her head. My soul is freaking disconnected from my body here, Foster. Would you care what time it was?
No, I had to agree. Okay. Shit . I glanced around the room to orient myself before admitting, I need to get some clothes on.
Flying out of bed, I grabbed a pair of jeans I had slung over my desk chair before pulling them on over my boxers. Then, I found a sweatshirt in my dresser and was shoving my feet into a pair of sneakers twenty seconds later.
As I stuffed my wallet and phone in my pockets, I finally noticed the surprised way Raina was simply just standing there, gaping at me.
What? I asked as I swiped my truck keys off my dresser and started for the back sliding door.
Nothing, I just— Raina sent me a helpless smile as I pulled the door open and stepped aside to let her go first. I was just thinking that if I was dead and had to be stuck with this singular view for the rest of eternity, then at least it s a good one.
I huffed out a breath and shook my head. Come on, Spirit Girl. Your body awaits.
Spirit Girl. Brightening, she smiled at me and hurried into the night. I like the sound of that.
Hopefully I won t have to call you that for long. Following her out, I locked the door behind me. My truck s around front.
She tiptoed behind me as we made our way to the front walk. There, we jogged to my Dodge, and when I opened the passenger side door for her to get in, she glanced at me as if I were insane. But then she murmured, Thanks, and climbed in.
When I jogged around to climb behind the wheel, she bounced eagerly in her seat. Seriously, thank you for doing this, Foster. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. And wow. You keep your truck, like, really clean. My car always looks as if a bomb went off inside it. Oh, hey! This is where you live? I ve been through this neighborhood before. How crazy is that?
So apparently, Raina liked to talk.
Which she did all the way to the hospital. I technically only had to respond to her about four or five times throughout the entire trip, and I was thankful because I was so tired I was only working with about a fourth of my usual brain cells.
When we reached the hospital parking lot, the vast amount of free places to park made me finally realize, It s past visitor s hours. I m not going to be able to get in.
Nonsense, Raina assured. The door to the emergency room is always unlocked. We ll just go in through there, and then I ll play lookout around every corner to make sure no one s coming.
I shrugged and tipped my head. Could work.
Hell, yeah, it will, she cheered. Let s do this.
You know, you re a really bad influence, I told her as I opened my door. First, we break into a private residence together on the beach. And now you ve talked me into breaking into a freaking hospital. But no matter what you say, I m not helping you rob a bank. Got it?
When I glanced at her, she rolled her eyes, only to play along. Oh, come on. Be a sport. We d be rich afterward.
I laughed and shook my head, then climbed out of the truck. After shutting my door, I jogged around to open the passenger side for her, but when I made it over there, she was already standing outside the door in the cool night.
Holy shit! Pulling up short, I clutched my chest dramatically.
Good news, she told me. Apparently, I don t need you to open doors for me after all.
I nodded, trying to adjust to the fact that she could just pop from inside to outside the truck without opening a door. Yeah, I hissed out a bit sarcastically. Great news.
And if you ll recall, she carried on, starting toward the ER entrance of the hospital. It was your idea to go inside that house last night; I was just following you, thinking you belonged there.
I guess we ll call it even after this, then, I whispered, hurrying after her.
As we neared the entrance, she glanced back at me and held up a finger. I ll scout things out and come back to report.
When I nodded, she hurried toward the sliding door, but instead of waiting for them to open for her—because they wouldn t—she simply disappeared inside.
I exhaled harshly and shook my head. I am not going to get used to that. Then I jumped out of my skin as she reappeared right in front of me.
Okay, let s go, she said quietly. There s only about half a dozen people in there, and the lady at the front desk is busy admitting someone new.
Heart still pounding hard, I nodded mutely and stepped forward.
Noticing that I was trying to recover from the fright she d given me, she reached for my arm, but obviously never touched it. I m sorry; did I scare you?
I m good, I assured her, pushing past it. When the front doors slid open at my approach, I glanced over and whispered, Here we go.
She sent me a worried cringe and then crossed her fingers on both hands.
We entered side by side and not a single person glanced over. The man at the front counter was moaning loudly and carrying on, bent at the waist and holding his side, taking everyone s attention. I started to look as well until Raina said, This way.
Tearing my gaze from the spectacle, I followed her to a side door. When she disappeared through it, I paused, not at all comfortable with the idea of following until she poked just her head and shoulders back out. It s clear. Come on.
Gnashing my teeth, I grabbed the door handle and pulled.
Only to find it locked.
Are you freaking kidding me? Raina s entire body appeared beside me so she could scowl at the door.
Maybe this is where you should continue without me, I murmured under my breath.
I mean, I d gotten her to the hospital. What else was I really good for from here on out?
But Raina looked at me with wide, frightened eyes. I really don t know if I can face myself alone. What if I ve been hideously disfigured? Oh my God. Gripping her waist, she went suddenly pale. Do you know if I lost any body parts?
I… I shook my head. I have no idea.
Oh God, oh God, oh God, she chanted, wringing her hands and pacing the floor. I don t know if I can do this. I don t know if I can face my own reality.
Realizing she wasn t going to move on without me, I glanced around helplessly until I spotted another door nearby. Hurrying over, I tried it, and when it actually opened, I hissed, Psst.
Raina turned and visibly wilted. Oh, thank goodness. She surged forward, claiming, Let me check the hall for you.
Rushing ahead, she skidded to the bend in the hall, then held up a hand behind her, ordering me to wait.
I jarred to a halt and watched her as I heard voices and footsteps. After they receded, Raina looked back at me and grinned. Man, am I good at this or what? Let s go.
I rolled my eyes but then had to grin over her eager enthusiasm.
In the next hall, we had a longer stretch to go before coming to another intersection, so Raina dashed ahead to check that corner. The elevators are this way, right?
When I nodded, she grinned. Great. You re free to proceed.
I chuckled softly, entertained by her vivacity. Until we heard the ding of the elevator.
Wait, wait. She held up her hand. Oh, crap. Quick. Hide!
What? Where? I hissed because there was absolutely nowhere for me to go. Until I spotted the opening of a darkened waiting room. I dove inside and plopped down on my ass next to a chair and a tall plant just as two orderlies walked past, carrying snacks and talking about their pets.
After they were gone, Raina peered into the room and cringed. Sorry.
I blew out a breath and shook my head as I pushed my way back to my feet. It s fine.
When we reached the elevator, Raina ran her finger along the directory on the wall. Let s see. I ll probably be in intensive care, right? So that is…
I pushed the button for the fourth floor. I d been to the ICU way too much in the last couple of months. First, Damien had gotten stabbed in the stomach. Then Hudson had gotten run over by a car. I actually knew the name of one of the nurses up there now.
Darlene. She was petite and curvy and friendly as all get out. Keene had dubbed her Grandma.
Fourth, Raina finally announced just as the door opened. Oh… Grinning at me, she nodded. You probably knew that better than I did since you were born and raised in Westport.
I sent her a tight smile as I stepped into the elevator. Want to make sure no one s going to be there to greet me when the door opens on Four?
Oh, sure. Good idea. She popped out of sight, only to reappear a second later. Get off on third. Get off on third right now.
I pushed the button for three , and the elevator paused its ascent to the floor below the intensive care unit. Maybe we should take the stairs, I whispered as we were let off into a darkened corridor.
Do you even know where the service stairs are ? she asked.
I pointed to a nearby sign hanging from the ceiling that showed a picture of stairs.
Ah. She brightened. Sweet.
As soon as I entered the stairwell, she zapped ahead of me to play lookout, only to scare the ever-loving crap out of me again when I reached the door to the fourth floor because she popped her head through the center of it.
It s a bit dicey out here, but if you stay quiet, I think you ll be okay.
I lifted one eyebrow before saying, Define dicey.
She winced. The nurse s station is, like, right there, but they sit with their backs to this door. So…
Great. Shaking my head at her to let her know this was crazy, I eased the door open as quietly as possible and crept into the hall.
Two nurses were talking in muffled voices from their station, but neither of them glanced my way when I slid into the ward.
Let s try this hall first, Raina suggested, jarring me when she didn t even attempt to use a quiet voice.
I nodded and hurried after her as she added, I ll check the left side, and you can check all the rooms on the right. Sound okay?
I bobbed my head again, afraid to talk. And we started off, darting into the rooms across from each other. I shuddered at the old man with tubes connected to him, then cringed at the child sleeping in the next room with an adult passed out in a nearby cot.
In the third room, the patient looked as if she could be Raina s age, but her entire head was swathed in white gauze. She was also intubated with a machine breathing for her. Needing to be sure, I crept slowly forward until I could make out her distinct square-shaped face and alabaster skin.
Swallowing thickly, I took in the bruises around her eyes and small scratches marring her cheeks and arms. Other than that, she looked perfectly whole and untouched.
Nothing yet, Raina said, appearing in the doorway. Are you having any—? When she saw herself on the bed, she slowed to a stop and merely blinked.
Found you, I said quietly.
She inched forward, only to pause next to me as if afraid to go any closer. A second later, her eyes widened in horror. My head—my head is wrapped. Do you think they had to shave me bald?
No, I told her softly before I reached out and picked up an auburn curl that was peeking out from the bottom of the gauze and had been resting on her shoulder. Look.
Oh—oh, thank God. Easing another step forward, she reached out her fingers to touch her physical hand, only to pull her arm back and shake her head. I didn t feel that at all. Then, glancing at me, she admitted with tears in her eyes, I have no idea what s supposed to happen now.
I shook my head. Neither do I.
I feel as if I should stay here, she admitted, sitting down in a side chair as she watched herself.
I get that, I said. I d probably want to stay with my body, too.
Tearing her gaze away from her physical form on the bed, she sent me a sad smile. Thank you, though. Thank you for coming with me and breaking into the hospital so I didn t have to do this alone. I—I really appreciate it. Just… Thank you for everything, Foster.
I nodded, feeling as if I shouldn t leave either of them, but I had no idea what else there was for me to do.
Do you need anything? I asked anyway.
She furrowed her brow. No. I—what could you even do for me?
I could keep you company, I offered with a lame shrug.
Tears filled her lashes, but she blinked them away. That s so sweet. But no. She waved her hand, shooing away the very idea. You ve already done more than enough. And it s late. You should go home. You got me where I wanted to be, and that was what I needed most.
Okay, I whispered, only to turn toward the doorway just as a nurse entered it.
We both pulled up short to gape at each other.
Where did you come from? she demanded. You can t be in here at this time of night.
I—I m sorry. I just… I glanced back at a cringing Raina in the chair.
She hugged herself and sent me a commiserating glance. Busted, sorry.
Turning back to the nurse, I said, I didn t want her to be alone.
Well, you need to go, the nurse informed me, taking my arm and manually escorting me from the room. We ll check on her and take care of everything, I promise. If you come back during visiting hours, you can spend as much time with her as you like.
Yes, ma am. I nodded, only to glance back at Raina through the doorway. Goodbye. I hope you wake up soon.
I do too, she told me with a sad farewell wave. Goodbye, Foster.
Not seeing or hearing her, the nurse walked me to the elevator. Do I need to call security to escort you out of the hospital completely, or are you going to be a good boy and leave on your own?
I m leaving on my own, I assured her. I m sorry I broke the rule. I didn t mean to cause a ruckus. I just?—
I motioned lamely toward Raina s room.
The nurse sighed. Yeah, I remember young love, she muttered wistfully, only to level me with a stern frown. But we have rules in place for a reason, young man. It s not safe for her if just anyone and everyone goes in and out, willy-nilly, with no rhyme or reason, carrying all manner of diseases and infections with them. If you really care about Miss Bollen and want her to get better, just follow the rules, okay?
Yes, ma am, I answered with an obedient nod, not even trying to correct her about the whole young love misconception. The truth was far too complex to spend the rest of the night trying to explain.
When the elevator door opened, I stepped inside and tipped my head to the nurse as she stood there, making sure I really left. Evening, ma am.
Her expression softened. Visiting hours are from eight in the morning to nine at night, now, you hear?
Yes, ma am.
She smiled. And good game this week, she told me just as the doors closed.
I exhaled, wishing everyone didn t recognize my face so easily, and I shifted my gaze up to the numbers above the exit, half-expecting Raina to poke her head through the metal doors and scare the crap out of me.
When she didn t, a pang of loneliness echoed through my chest.
On the first floor, I walked the darkened corridor to the front entrance, where the doors let me outside without an issue. My footsteps echoed through the parking lot, reminding me just how alone I was. It had been completely different when I d had Raina with me, egging me along and assuring me that breaking into the hospital was for a good and noble purpose.
God, I missed her chatty presence.
Smiling fondly to myself as I remembered how she d blatantly tried to get me to take my shirt off in my bedroom, I climbed into my truck and started the engine.
She was such an exuberant, upbeat thing, even when she was worried about what was happening to her physical body. It made me wonder if she was like that in real life.
Maybe I shouldn t have been so resistant when Oaklynn had tried to set the two of us up.
I sighed wistfully and turned out of the hospital parking lot, praying that Raina pulled through this and woke up so I could get to know the true her. Then, I flipped on the radio to fill the silence. Braking for a red light, I quietly sang along with Luke Combs about fast cars.
When the light turned green, a familiar voice from the passenger seat said, Ooh, I love this song!