Chapter 11 Kitty #2
“Careful now, Miss Grenville,” Sebastian murmured, his breath stirring against my ear. “One might think the stars have stolen your heart.”
My hand slipped on the dial. I chuckled, determined to keep my attention on the telescope. “And what if they have? They’ve promised me a view you couldn’t possibly match.” Regardless, I felt myself pulled away and turned to look directly in his eyes.
Gray, with flecks of hazel.
He laughed, shifting closer. “Oh, but we poor mortals would try.”
“You are flirting with me, Mr. Sinclair,” I noted dryly. “Better to woo me by reading Miss Herschel’s latest treatise and discuss astronomical principles.”
A dimple carved out a spot on his cheek while a rough cough resounded behind me. Lord Chudley, who by any account now glowered.
“Miss Herschel, I find myself in dire need of reading material,” Sebastian said loudly.
My hostess laughed. “Then you shall have it, sir.”
Egad, but Sebastian Sinclair could charm when he chose it. Chewing the inside of my cheek, I watched him laugh as he chatted with her.
Ire swept through me and I refocused the dials, peering back to the heavens, which deserved my full attention.
I was nothing more than a means to his inheritance, as Sebastian had so readily disclosed.
An arranged marriage awaited me—so unlike my parents’ passionate love affair.
Aunt had once admitted that my mother, a young Muslim princess, had been instantly smitten with the dashing red-haired James Achilles Grenville and demanded introductions.
I liked to imagine my parents having an unparalleled love match that defied everyone standing in their way.
A pox upon our grandfathers who treated us both as marionettes tied with tangled strings.
I dared not get tangled with him. I hated the Company and all it stood for. He admired it. Defended it with the disgusting loyalty of a lapdog.
Flustered, I returned to the telescope and peered through the lens.
The stars swam into view, bright and endless, stretching across the sky in a glittering expanse.
They were magnificent, far more beautiful than I’d ever imagined.
For a moment, the world fell away, and I was left alone with the vastness of the heavens, the order and mystery of it all unfathomable and perfect.
If only my life could have that same order, instead of feeling so utterly murky.
But even as I looked, my thoughts wandered back to Sebastian. What did he think of the heavens? Did he believe in the Creator of them? Or was he more like Grandfather, preferring to leave religion for only occasional Sunday sermons? Heard and soon forgotten. Privately despised.
At length, I stepped back to allow the men turns at the telescope.
Miss Herschel’s voice drifted over my shoulder. “Miss Grenville, you’ve a rare curiosity. Have you ever considered that astronomy might lead you to more than stargazing in society’s drawing rooms? Research or teaching, perhaps?”
“I would love to research or teach,” I managed, my voice catching.
The idea of dedicating myself to such intellectual pursuits—not as a fleeting hobby but as something meaningful—felt both exhilarating and terrifying.
“I occasionally shared an astronomy lesson at a local girls’ school near Seven Oakes. ”
Teaching had been one of the few activities where I felt truly useful—until Grandfather intervened. He’d threatened to take away everything I loved if I disobeyed. I swallowed the sting of the memory.
“Unfortunately, certain expectations can make it difficult to pursue such interests,” she said with sympathy. “Do not let them bind you.”
Lord Chudley laughed lightly beside me. “Miss Grenville, a teacher? Well, I suppose you’d have quite the eager class, if you could be persuaded to share your enthusiasm. Hardly necessary for a woman of your wealth to indulge in study beyond a passing fancy, though.”
“The stars deserve a dedicated mind like hers,” Sebastian said. He did not sound pleased, but his rebuke was not directed at me.
Even so, his defense caught me by surprise.
Lord Chudley smiled at me. “But of course, we couldn’t let the stars steal you away entirely,” he said, his tone coaxing. “There’s much to enjoy right here, Miss Grenville. London has its own kind of brilliance, after all.”
Miss Herschel arched her eyebrow, ignoring his comment altogether.
“Miss Grenville, you’ve a rare passion for this field.
But I must tell you—astronomy is more than a hobby.
This is science. Our understanding of the stars, of the universe itself, grows with each observation, each discovery.
” Her voice grew sharper. “My brother has often noted that if women were but given the chance to learn, they would indeed excel. I have often longed for girls’ schools to offer more than painting and music.
We’ve much to offer, if we are bold enough to claim it. ”
I turned to her with a wan smile. “I’ve always felt the stars have more to tell us.
” But inwardly, I ached. The stars were my only link to my mother.
Yet I could not reveal such a fact to the guests here, when Grandfather bid me to hide my identity.
I had never before considered pursuing astronomy any further than my nostalgia to cling to the past.
Sebastian’s gaze held mine when our eyes met. “Miss Herschel is right. Some pursuits demand dedication, no matter the challenges. I’d say you’re well-suited to such a path.”
No wonder the women at the literary salon loved him. But flattery would not work with me. Not at all.
Liar, came a sotto voce whisper in the back of my mind.
“She is well-suited,” Lord Chudley agreed, perhaps in a bid not to be outdone.
“I am delighted that I could put you two scholars within each other’s paths.
Miss Grenville, I insist you accompany me to one of Mr. Herschel’s society evenings.
I’ve heard he’s assembling quite the circle of astronomers and natural philosophers.
The British Museum, too, has a wealth of scientific displays. Perhaps in two weeks?”
I swallowed. “How lovely. Don’t you agree, Edward? Why, we might all accompany Lord Chudley. What a lovely gathering among friends.”
Neither Lord Chudley nor Sebastian appeared satisfied with my answer.
Miss Herschel turned back to the telescope. “Now, Miss Grenville, I’d like to show you how we map the constellations.”
My pulse quickened as I leaned in to adjust the telescope, my heart curiously lifted by her words.
I could almost believe, in that moment, that somewhere between the stars above and the paths before me, another purpose, other than learning if my mother still lived and wanted me, lingered.
Beckoning like the winking lights ever so remote in the void of black.
As for the two men by my side, both vying for my attention, they would have to wait.