Chapter 22 Sebastian
To act with common sense according to the moment, is the best wisdom I know; and the best philosophy, to do one’s duties, take the world as it comes, submit respectfully to one’s lot, bless the Goodness that has given so much happiness with it.
HORACE WALPOLE
Kitty and I found a secluded spot within the library once Edward was tended and transported to his room. Her desire to speak privately was urgent, judging by her rigid stance.
I left the door open at this late hour, determined not to repeat another blunder, and yet, as I studied her . . . all thoughts of being a proper gentleman fled.
“I didn’t know who else to call,” she admitted as she rubbed her arms in front of the fireplace. I immediately shrugged out of my coat and draped it around her shoulders.
She tugged the superfine wool, enveloping her slender frame. My pulse thrummed in response to the sight of her—hair half tumbling free and her engulfed in my coat as if she truly belonged to me.
The past day and a half had proven exhausting. I had paced back and forth in my room, disappointed when I dared to inquire about Kitty and was turned away by her friend.
Worse, my bumbling defense of the East India Company in Parliament, though it would placate Lord Sinclair, would only further set Kitty and me apart. Yet as providential timing would have it, she had not rejected me. Needed me, instead.
Despite my racing thoughts, I forced myself to listen to what she might have to say.
She licked her lips. “Edward ran into trouble at the wharf at Limehouse. He admitted to spying—gathering information on the Company. Lord Chudley might even be involved with the docks.”
I sucked in a breath at the news, recalling Mr. Wilberforce’s hints at having an inside man. No wonder Edward had frequented the clubs. While the men had indulged in their vices, he had likely taken notes and reported back to Mr. Wilberforce.
“What did he find?” I asked, dreading yet needing to know the answer.
“Crates with a tiger emblem loaded onto a vessel,” she answered.
“Mr. Wilberforce told me he had a spy, and I can only assume it was your brother pretending to be a rakehell while gathering information. But this means your brother has many enemies. And there is also your father, who shared a similar spying past. Wilberforce fears the worst—that James Grenville worked for both sides at Hyderabad. Some say he served the nizam and ultimately betrayed the Company. If that is true . . . then who can say where his enemies lie? Or how many now consider the Grenville name a threat?”
“I fear for your safety,” I added after a moment. “Especially since Edward was discovered.”
She pivoted to face me. “It seems the colonel intends to return to Seven Oakes as soon as he is able. But I cannot.” Those enormous eyes now brimmed with unshed tears.
“You don’t know what it is like to be cooped up day after day, no matter how lovely the prison.
He’s threatened to confine me there, of course, if I do not do his bidding. ”
The arranged marriage. She averted her gaze just as I reached for her small hand. What if the marriage was just the thing to save her? To take her away from this situation?
“I feared Edward might die tonight,” she whispered. “And then I thought of you. I thought—” Her voice broke.
“Kitty.” Her name was a prayer on my lips. I caught her hands in mine before she could withdraw them and pressed her chilled fingers to my chest where my heart pounded. “Let me protect you.”
Her lashes fluttered upward, wide eyes searching mine. For once, I did not hesitate. I bent, capturing her mouth with mine.
The kiss was desperate, searing. She yielded for one unguarded moment before drawing a ragged breath against me. My coat slipped from her shoulders as I tugged her closer, her warmth sinking into me, her pulse racing beneath my thumb where I cupped her jaw.
“You are not alone,” I whispered between fervent kisses, trailing words against her temple, her cheek, her mouth once more.
Her hands twisted in my lapels, holding me as if afraid I might vanish.
“What must I do to prove that I love you?” I asked, half fearing that she would shut me out.
A soft sob escaped her, and I deepened the kiss, tasting salt and her, and the mingling of sorrow and something dangerously like hope.
“Katherine . . .” My forehead pressed to hers, our breath mingling. “Marry me. Say you will, and I will carry you away.”
She shuddered, tears glistening in her lashes. “You cannot promise such things. Edward spoke of men at the docks—Company men. He fears they will come for him again. For all of us.”
I brushed aside a stray curl that had slipped free.
“Then they will discover I stand in their way.” My voice was hoarse, fierce.
“Your brother is already hunted. That means you are in peril too. Do you think I could rest, knowing you walk unguarded in a city filled with men who would silence Edward—and you with him—if it suited their schemes?”
Her lips trembled against mine. “And if it is already too late?”
“Then I will fight them all.” I kissed her again, slower this time, a vow pressed to her lips. “I cannot lose you, Kitty. Not to Chudley. Not to anyone.”
Her fingers curled into my lapel as though she would anchor herself to me. “You make it sound as though I am already yours.”
“You are,” I replied, unable to stop myself. “But only if you truly wish it.”
The sharp click of the door shattered the spell. We sprang apart as the library door shut loudly.
There stood the colonel, his overcoat still damp from the night, his gaze like steel.