CHAPTER 19
What had she said? What had she done? Goodness gracious, it had only been a few weeks and she had already managed to say something completely idiotic that might make her lose a friend.
Well, she might not lose him. She could pretend it never happened or never tell him what ‘kiss’ meant, or maybe she could just hope he would forget.
That face he made did not look like a man ready to forget. Oh Lord, what had she done?
It wasn’t like her to blurt things out like that.
Well, she supposed that was honestly hard to say given how few times she had ever had to prove it.
But normally in town, she found herself to be very quiet, not sure what to say even when people were speaking to her.
And now, now, she said something crazy like that?
She couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t believe her. Did she actually want to kiss him? Wasn’t that something saved for married couples only?
Hell, she didn’t even fully know what a kiss was for.
Papa had told her it was when two humans put their lips together and that it meant they loved each other.
And the books that did mention it only ever did between married couples.
She supposed she might be infatuated—she couldn’t really deny that—but she was sure she didn’t love Kallias yet.
Maybe now that he was speaking more they could determine something like that.
No, that was crazy too. What was she thinking?
But if she didn’t feel that way, why did she ask to kiss him? Why had she wanted to?
But it was like her body and mouth had acted without her brain, as if they were mutinying against her and all her silly ‘reason’.
What if—she felt the blush come hotter but now it didn’t feel so unwelcome—what if she told him what a kiss was and what it was for, and what if…what if he wanted to too? What would she do then?
Her heart hammered in accordance. She could picture him before her as if he actually was.
She could imagine his lips getting closer and closer still, sun-kissed and sparkling with rainbow-filled water drops.
She could imagine his strong arms—he had picked her up with such ease before—and now she could imagine them tightening around her waist, pulling her in closer against that bare torso that looked like a god’s.
Oh Lord, she thought, trying to rein in the desire pounding in her chest. She really was a sinner, wasn’t she?