Chapter 7 #2
“Oh, that. Well, you’ve taken plenty of pretty girls out, and if you get too nervous remember there’s no pressure... Considering it’s all fake,” I alleviate the small bit of tension once again, reminding him and myself of this arrangement.
“You’re right...”
Both of us start to relax. I feel far more comfortable knowing he was nervous. I don’t know why that sends ease over me but it does. I guess it shows me that he’s taking this seriously. My feelings somehow always feel validated if someone feels the same way I am.
“So this list… I’ve read over it a few times. I know you like romance movies. Where were some of the ideas from? What movies inspired it?” Bellamy asks me, and part of me is scrapping to remember what items I put on the list, but part of me doesn’t want to remember so I don’t have to tell him.
“I don’t remember,” I shrug, and he sits up, taking the list out of his pocket.
“Now you do,” He smirks, his eyes dancing between me and the road.
I roll my eyes, and snatch the list from his fingertips, contemplating letting the list fly out the window and pretending it was an accident. Knowing Bellamy and how persistent he is, he’d probably turn around and walk the freeway until he found the list, even if it did risk his life.
“Which ones do you want to know?” I ask, looking over my doodles, and scribbled handwriting.
“Kissing in the rain?” He asks.
“The Notebook, duh.”
“And romantic first time?” He adds.
“New Girl. Jess and Nick had a romantic first time and it was adorable and so sweet. I loved that episode,” I explain.
“Your pretty bouquet?” He keeps peeking at the list.
The wind is rustling his hair as he drives making him look effortless.
“Big Fish. The field of daffodils scene is one of the most romantic of all time. I know a bouquet isn’t the same as a field, but it’s still the thought that counts. Plus no one has ever even gotten me a single flower let alone a bouquet,” I tell him.
“What about the playlist?” He asks, and I shrug.
“I feel like one of the most romantic gestures is when someone hears or sees something, and they think of someone else. That’s what dedicating a playlist to someone is.
Hearing someone and tying it to someone else.
In the movie Stuck in Love, Rusty says that Kate reminds him of the song I’ve Just Seen a Face by The Beatles.
That line always gives me butterflies. So I took inspiration and put the playlist on the list,” I say.
I love that movie so much. It’s definitely one of my favorites.
“What about the New Year's kiss?” He asks, and I think of my parents, but don’t want to tell him anything about them.
At least not my favorite stories about them.
“When Harry Met Sally. He confesses he loves her at the New Year’s Party, it’s romantic, and … and I just think New Year’s is special,” I shrug, and he nods.
“Cute. This little list, and all your little doodles, it’s cute,” He compliments, and I blush.
It is cute, and not like me at all to do such a thing. When I do I end up in messes like this one.
He drives us the rest of the way, making jokes to me, and asking me questions that are easy, and simple. We talk like we did when we were distracted from studying. The drive is easy and quick.
We arrive at Elliot Bay, the ferry boats perfectly in sight. There are a few of them, lined together. Part of me gets incredibly excited, the feeling welling up in my chest. I push that excitement down, knowing this is fake. That this is for a list, and nothing more.
I reach for my door, starting to open it. A hand reaches across the car brushing my body, Bellamy’s hand encloses mine and he closes the door. He has completely invaded my personal space as he leans over my seat. I look at him and his face is inches from mine.
He raises his eyebrows like he’s wondering what the hell I’m doing. I’m staring at him wondering if his hand covering mine is making me hot or if it’s just a hundred degrees right now. I swallow deeply as I’m face to face with him, noticing just how perfect he looks in high definition.
“Don’t be rude. We’re on a date. I open the doors, you look pretty,” He chastises me, and moves away, but leaves the tension.
Bellamy gets out, and circles around the back of the car.
I take a deep breath, and then he opens the door for me, holding his hand out, waiting to take mine.
He helps me from the car and lets go of my hand right away, making me somewhat nervous at how jumpy he seems. We walk with no contact at all and continue toward the boats.
He gets to the ticket kiosk, and I walk up first.
“One ticket please,” I tell the woman behind the desk, and Bellamy once again leans close, invading my bubble once more.
“Two... Two tickets,” He tells her, passing her a card with his name etched on it.
I open my mouth to protest, and then close it. I’m not used to this type of treatment. I feel like a fucking princess, wow. Is this what healthy feels like? Is this how others live every day?
“Don’t look so surprised Ryn,” He laughs as he takes the tickets and his card back.
“I wasn’t trying to, I’m just not used to this,” I say.
We walk together now as we talk.
“Dates?” His eyes are so soft, I can barely look at this man without my insides melting, what did his parents feed him?
“People paying for me on dates,” I correct him, my eyes scanning my surroundings instead of looking at the man next to me.
“Not to bring him up again... But he never paid for you?” Bellamy approaches the man on the dock first, handing him our tickets.
“No, we either split things, or I paid for both of us,” I admit, already knowing he’s going to hate that response.
“Ew,” He disapproves as he scrunches up his nose, and I laugh.
“Why do you think it was so short lived?”
“Because you hate men,” He answers, still not touching me once as we walk onto the ferry boat.
His answer is very funny and incredibly honest for a man, but it’s not entirely true.
“Yes, but no. It was short lived because I hate relationships, not men specifically,” I correct him.
“The list in my back pocket tells me differently. You’re a hopeless romantic,” He tells me.
“A closeted one. It’s not even really a secret... I just like romance movies... Just because I like them doesn’t mean I want them to happen to me. I watch horror movies too, that doesn’t mean I want a ghost eating my face off.”
The look on his face tells me everything I need to know.
It’s like he can see right through the lies.
It’s not a full lie, only half of one. I know I deserve to feel the things within the movies and books I love so much, I just don’t think it’s possible in real life, and if it is, it’s far too hard to find.
I’m not ready for the disappointment I will have to endure to find the close to perfect person.
I don’t want relationships anymore. And I definitely don’t want the ghosts eating my face off either.
“You said that you know some of the stuff on the list won't happen,” He points out.
We walk up the steps of the ferry boat, going to the upper deck. There is a good amount of people on board, but not as many upstairs. The deck is breezy and vast. A lot of space for the two of us to be alone. My nerves skyrocket once again.
“I did say that,” My chest is buzzing.
“You know I will be making everything happen, right? With consent, and after I talk to you... I just want to make sure you know I have every intention of keeping it all on the list... Doing everything.”
My shock is hard to hide on my face. I graze his features, trying to catch him in a lie, but he’s telling the truth. My surprise sits in the air.
“You know sex is on that list, right?”
He gives a short nod as he motions for the two of us to sit down on a bench near the edge of the boat.
“I’m aware,” He’s completely calm and collected.
I hope I’m coming off the same way despite how fast my heart is beating right now. This man has lost his mind. No, correction. I have lost my damn mind.
“So no offense, but how do you expect to have sex with me if you won’t touch me at all?”
His eyes are trained on the ground and his smile illuminates his face.
His legs are spread as he sits, one of his hands resting on his thigh, the other hand resting on the back of the bench behind me.
He looks up, his eyes catching mine. I watch as he looks between my eyes like he’s searching for something specific as he stares at me.
He reaches his hand up, his fingers tracing my cheekbone and moving upward to tuck my hair behind my ear.
Bellamy has touched me in passing. We’ve hugged each other goodbye. We’ve grazed each other's hands when studying but he’s never... Never touched me like this. No one has touched me like this, and I think my heart just dropped so quickly it might be in my ass.
“I have no problem touching you Ryn, I just need to know what you’re okay with before I start assuming...” He tells me. “I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable, especially not on our first date.”
I’m not used to this. To a good person. To someone like Bellamy. His thumb traces my cheek, his fingertips behind my ear, holding me right where he wants me. Right where I want to be.
“I told you there are no rules... Everything is on the table... Everything except strings, those will never be attached,” My words don’t sound forced, at least I hope they don’t.
I feel forced as I speak them though. It feels like I’ve never had a drop of water in my body my entire life, that’s how dry my throat is right now.
“So if you’re ever not comfortable with something you’ll tell me?” His clarification somehow sinks my heart even further, mostly because I’ve never had someone talk to me like Bellamy is right now.
Hot, and respectful, I don’t know if I can get over it. That is in fact the bare minimum, though. Maybe I should raise my standards…
“Yes, I will, consent king,” There’s a slight smile still playing on his pretty lips.