Chapter 17 #4
“Because it makes me so fucking mad, Kamryn,” He uses my full name and I watch as he steps away from me, and out from between my legs.
I watch as he turns around, and runs his hands through his messy hair.
“You’re one of the coolest people I’ve ever met... And you’re so fucking pretty, and you can be a sarcastic asshole, but you’re also really nice, and the fact that she can be so mean to you over something as stupid as who you’ve slept with just makes me so mad,” He doesn’t look at me as he rants.
“So you… Kissed me because you were mad?” I try to make sense of it but still feel confused.
“No, I kissed you because I was afraid you’d be upset and I came in here to cool off, and then you followed me.
Then I was afraid you’d think I didn’t want you anymore because of what she said.
So that’s why I kissed you. I guess I could have just told you.
I just…” He rubs his hand up and down on the back of his neck. His cheeks are pink with blush.
I hold the counter between my legs, my body tilted toward him.
“So what you’re saying is you want me...” I look at him with a soft smirk on my lips.
It’s barely noticeable. I’m not even trying to smile, I just can’t help it. He’s angry over something silly. Leah is not important to me. Her words hurt. I can’t lie and say they didn’t. But I’m not giving them that power. Not right now. Right now I’m over it.
“Yes, I want you. I really want you Kamryn, I have fought so many urges around you so I can make it special like the list says, but god you make it so fucking hard sometimes. I do want you. I don’t think I’ve wanted anyone more than I want you.”
My stomach is plummeting and there’s butterflies, fire, and everything. Excitement buzzes in my chest. Need blooms in my belly as I look at him.
“Right now?” I ask.
“Right now, tomorrow, yesterday, every day. Yes. Right now I want you, the other day I wanted you. The day I kissed you for the first time I wanted you Kamryn,” He’s looking at me.
His stare is intense, and I don’t know what to do right now.
Normal Kamryn would fuck him in the bathroom without hesitation.
But I did say I wanted something special.
Something romantic. There’s absolutely nothing romantic about fucking in a bathroom with a party going on right outside the door.
But there is a touch of me in that. It’s not completely unappealing.
“How do you want me?” I ask and watch as his eyes darken.
He looks at me carefully, his hand pressing to the bathroom counter beside me, his other hand coming up to my face. He moves my hair away and then he holds my head, tilting my chin up toward him.
“I want you in every way. I want to taste you. I want to feel you. I want to fuck you Kamryn. So bad. Is that what you want to hear? Do you want me to lay it out? Then I will. I’ve never wanted to fuck someone like I want to fuck you. I’ve never wanted… Needed something this bad.”
I have never felt such a hot, searing warmth inside of my chest, and between my legs... So... Fuck it.
I kiss him first this time, wrapping my legs around his so he’s pressed tight to my body. His hand is flat against my back, his skin hot just like mine. He straightens me, pushing my body upright so I can kiss him better, and I take every ounce of help, kissing him hard.
I push off of the counter, and he moves with me, my height making it hard for him.
He doesn’t hesitate to lean down just so he can keep his lips on mine.
I move back toward the bathroom door, and his body meets me there, my back hitting the door, and his chest colliding with mine.
I know the door just shook, and whoever is on the other side must know what's going on but I have never cared less.
“This is a bad idea...” He speaks between kisses, and I don’t listen to him, knowing he has far more sense than I do.
Because right now my mind is telling me to do whatever the fuck I want. No matter the consequences.
Bellamy can think critically all he wants, but he can do that when his lips aren’t on mine. He says it’s a bad idea. His words say one thing. But the way he doesn’t stop kissing me. The way his hands haven’t stopped exploring. That’s louder than his words.
There’s a loud knock on the door, and I feel it shake behind me.
Our lips part only centimeters, I can feel his breath fanning over me, and his chest rising and falling against mine.
His crystalline eyes lock on me. They look at my lips, then my eyes, but settle on my lips and I feel like I’m completely helpless when it comes to Bellamy tonight.
“What?” My eyes are still on his, and our lips are still inches from mine despite my question.
He presses a finger to his smirking lips, and my lips curl up too.
“Um... It's almost midnight,” I hear Sienna on the other side of the door.
I know it’s her too because I have serious doubts anyone else would knock to tell us that.
“Be right out,” Bellamy says and I don’t say a word.
My breath is caught somewhere in my chest. “We can’t miss the only reason I had this insane party.
” He backs away from me, my body left cold without his pressed against it.
“This isn’t over,” He says it like a warning and my stomach swirls like a whirlpool. Thank god it’s not over.
“Good,” I watch as he unlocks the bathroom door behind me.
He pulls me forward and opens the door, and the two of us walk out together. No one seems to notice us. That is until I turn and look at the kitchen. I see Griffin, Jade, Sienna, and Lawson pouring champagne for everyone, all of them smirking as they stare at us.
“Ignore them if they say anything,” He didn’t have to say anything.
They all like to fuck with Bell and me. It bothered me at the Ferris wheel date, but I don’t care anymore. They know what’s happening between us, and that’s fine if they want to turn into something it’s not. Bell and I are on the same page. Kind of.
“A quickie in the bathroom? Doesn’t seem like you Archie,” Lawson smiles wide as he talks.
Sienna is smirking right next to him, I’m pretty sure she’s had a little too much to drink tonight. I’m glad she’s letting loose, she’s never been a very big drinker.
“We weren’t fucking,” I defend the two of us.
“So you were… Talking?” Griff asks, a smirk on his lips.
“Why do you two care what they were doing? Don’t be weird,” Jade chastises them, and I smile.
“Thank you, guys, for earlier… You didn’t have to do that,” I say over the chatter from the other partygoers.
Some from the cheer team, and some other football players. A mix of others too.
“Oh, but we did. I don’t care if they dated for a week or four years.
If she’s causing problems. If she’s upsetting him, or people he cares about.
.. Aka you. Then there’s a problem,” Griff tells me.
“And to add onto that, I don’t fuck with her talking about your personal life.
Whether she thinks she knows, it’s bullshit. And it doesn’t matter.”
The fears I had are alleviated. Even though I like to pretend her words didn’t hurt, I didn’t want Bell’s friends to look at me in a bad light. That’s the last thing I want.
“What he said,” Jade agrees, and I press my lips into a thin smile, my chest full at the thought of all of them caring that much. It’s sweet.
“Everyone grab your champagne! The countdown is about to start!” Sienna shouts not only to us but to everyone around us.
Everyone flocks over, and Bellamy grabs two plastic champagne flutes from the counter and nods his head toward the living room.
I follow him and take my champagne flute from him once we make it into the back of the living room, a perfect view of the TV, and a perfect escape route to his bedroom right behind us.
Everyone starts to filter in, and then it starts.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6….5….4…..3….2….. Bellamy looks at me, and it’s not the new year.
But this is new. Everything happening right now, tonight, the past week.
It’s all been new... And everyone around is cheering, kissing, and drinking.
They’re all celebrating a fake sense of new.
But I’m staring at the real thing... I’m staring at Bellamy.
Everyone cheers around us, and we both drink our champagne before turning to each other.
I have always dreamed of a New Year’s Kiss. Because of my parents, because of the aspect of how romantic, and cheesy it might be. I know it’s fake. Due to the list, and the fact that it’s June, but I still feel butterflies swarming inside of me.
“Ready?” I furrow my brows.
He takes my champagne out of my hand and sets it on the table next to us.
I look at him, empty handed, and he grabs me, and flips me to his other side, dipping me down so quickly that it makes my stomach drop.
It’s not a dramatic dip, my back isn’t arched, and my leg isn’t thrown in the air.
But my hair is falling over my shoulders, and his lips are on mine, and I’m fully in his grasp, all the control in the palm of his hands.
I laugh, a smile breaking through the kiss.
He’s smiling too, and I know it’s not a real new year.
But if it was I know I’d wish for the feeling in my chest to stay forever.
It feels that good. He stands me up right and we break the kiss.
“Straight from a movie,” I boost his ego more.
“Really? Was it everything you imagined?” He asks, and I smile.
“To be completely honest I didn’t think this part of the list would happen...” I’m standing close to him, my hands on his chest, his arm still wrapped around my back to hold me to him.
“I told you I would be doing everything.”
I tilt my head, “What about doing something that’s not on the list?” My nerves are shooting every which way.
“Like what?” His eyes are looking down on me.
“Like continuing what we started in the bathroom,” I press closer to him.
“That wouldn’t be very romantic, would it?” He doesn’t sound like he’s opposed to the idea at all.
He seems wary to mess up, I know that’s what it is. He wants to make the list perfect for me, and I get it.
“It’s not either of our first times anyway… We don’t have to… I just...” I shrug again.
“You want to?” His face is still as he looks at me carefully.
“I do...” I look up at him and see his eyes casting down on me.
He’s thinking as he stares at me, and my stomach is a big ball of nerves.
“Is that a bad thing?”
“For the sake of the list, it is,” He looks at me for a second longer, and then he sighs, looking away.
He runs his hand through his thick hair, and shakes his head, “God dammit Kamryn...”
He bends down and picks me up, the party still happening around us. He throws me over his shoulder, and I squeal out, not expecting the sudden manhandling.
“Where are you going?” Sienna yells.
“To sleep!” Bellamy yells over his shoulder
“That’s a weird word for se-” Lawson starts, but Sienna covers his mouth with her hand.
“Be safe!” Jade yells.
“Lawson! Don’t let Sienna drive!” I yell to my friends and Sienna gasps, looking offended.
“I’m not even that-” Lawson is covering her mouth now, stopping her from lying about just how much she’s had to drink
“I wasn’t planning on it. Archie, don’t forget a cond-”
“Bye!” I cut Lawson off, and wave to all of our friends, and Bellamy walks into his bedroom, and kicks the door closed, locking it behind him too.
“You know damn well I can’t say no to you Kamryn, and on top of that... I really don’t want to...”