Chapter 38
Harper
The therapist never told me being touched again—with care—would ignite a raging fire within me.
Rocco gave me one orgasm, and now, I crave him.
I want to be touched and held, surrounded by the intoxicating scent of his cologne.
When I catch him watching me—his eyes fixed on me as if I’m the only person in the room—I no longer feel anxious; I smile.
My body feels alive for the first time in… I don’t know how long. Earlier, I skimmed through the contract he gave me, specifically the section on relationship dynamics. That’s where I found a sex menu—a sex menu—and, judging by that menu, I’ve been starving.
The menu is basically a sex list, except with nothing vanilla, at least not by my standards. The left side has activities—bondage, barehanded or belted spanking, cock worship, Daddy kink…to name a few. The middle column is for experience—none, in my case. That’s easy.
The right side is for willingness or consent. But how can I fully consent to something I’ve never experienced?
Cock worship? Rocco seems to have a worship-able cock. I’d worship it. Look at me—I’m already smitten, and we haven’t even had sex. I’ve only had that monster in my mouth.
Bondage? How the hell am I supposed to know? Are we talking chains? Ropes? Will I get rope burns or slivers? Ouch. That doesn’t seem fun.
The bigger question is: is this list what Rocco likes? Is he going to be disappointed if I put a hard pass on exhibitionism? I doubt I’ll be aroused by another person watching. I have anxiety just imagining it. Where would someone watch us? Who? Why?
Should I even be focusing on what he enjoys, or is this list all mine? Is there a sex dungeon hidden somewhere in this house? I have so many questions.
All evening, I’ve been thinking about those relationship dynamics, waiting for a private moment to talk to Rocco. He’s been closed in his study with important family matters, and I didn’t want to intrude on his free time.
I know they’re discussing Daniel, among other things.
Alexei took my phone, and from his tight, aggravated expression, I could tell Daniel hadn’t responded well to the divorce papers.
I’m sure Alexei told Rocco. I’ve been on the receiving end of my husband’s wrath, and I refuse to be any more of a burden to them than I already am.
So, I’ve kept my million questions to myself.
Still, as busy as Rocco was—talking property with Jackson and hockey with Ethan—he dropped everything to help put Danny to bed the moment he started getting cranky.
“Bedtime, little man.” He lifted Danny from the pile of toys Mrs. Harris had found. “You need sleep so you’re rested enough to play again tomorrow. I heard we’re building a snowman.”
My son’s face lit up, and he wrapped an arm around Rocco’s neck. “We are?”
“Yup.” Rocco shot me a wink as he led the way toward our bedroom. “We have everything to build a whole family of snow-people.”
Danny rubbed his eyes with his small fist. “Will Jax and King and Rora and Lexei be here in the morning?”
Rocco set him down in front of the door and crouched to his level. “Sure thing—and Lucas and the twins. Which means you need lots of sleep. Got it? Don’t give Mommy a hard time.”
“I won’t.” Danny glanced up at me, then at Rocco. “Can I have a stuffie?”
Before he answered, Rocco looked to me for approval. When I nodded, he said, “Any stuffie you want.”
So now I have a giant T-Rex in my bed.
Jackson lets out an exaggerated yawn, snapping me back to the present. Ethan and Aurora slipped away, Alexei stepped outside to take a call and never returned, and the twins and Lucas trekked off to find a cabin. There are only four of us left in front of the fireplace.
“Rocco, before we turn in, do you have time tomorrow to renegotiate our contract? This guy”—Jax jerks a thumb at Reece—“flushed my engagement ring down the toilet in a fit of jealousy after finding out about our arrangement.”
I stare. First, at my brother—because what the heck? He flushed their engagement ring?—who’s glaring at Jackson.
My gaze swings to Rocco, my brows furrowed and my mouth hanging open. They have a contract—one like ours? What is he, a relationship-sex-contract professional?
He notices me gawking, confusion written all over my face, and gives a subtle shake of his head.
It doesn’t go unnoticed by my detective brother—if that’s even what he is. I’m fairly certain this is an organized crime group.
“Wait—do you two have a contract?” He gestures between Rocco and me, his voice appalled and—Jackson’s right—a little jealous, as if he’s missing out on something.
But what? Is this some sort of sex club? Is that why there are secluded cabins—the ones the twins took their boyfriend to? And Reece wants in on the club?
Things I’ve learned from Jackson O’Reilly I wish I never knew: my brother has nipple piercings and belongs to a sex club—or almost.
Thanks, Jax. I might throw up.
My mind flashes to the sex menu. Is this what willingness to ‘double penetration’, ‘exhibitionism’, and ‘group sex’ pertains to?
That’s disgusting—I’m out. No way am I going to be in a sex club anywhere, even remotely near Reece, secluded cabins or not.
Reece continues to stare, waiting for an answer, but I’m utterly speechless. My face burns so hot, it could fry an egg.
“Not the same,” Rocco says, his tone edged with dismissal. “We can go over your arrangement—”
“What kind of contract do you have?” Jax tilts his head, expression open and genuinely curious. “Is there something else? Reece is hard to satisfy. He wants it all. We’re trying to figure out this foursome, but he doesn’t share well.”
My brother finally takes his gaze off me to shoot Jackson a sharp glance. “I share just fine. I’m sharing, aren’t I?”
Can a bolt of lightning strike me already? Better yet, could a portal to another dimension, preferably one with hot mountain men, open beneath my feet? Under no circumstances do I want to hear about my brother’s sex life.
“You shared once,” Jax grumbles. “And lost your head, almost ended everything.”
How did Reece and I go from a church faction to a Mafia family running orgies? Clearly, we have issues. If I tell my therapist about this, she’s really going to think I’m batshit crazy. She might have me locked up.
“Our contract isn’t up for discussion.” Rocco’s tone brooks no argument. “You can review yours tomorrow.”
With a heavy sigh, Jackson sinks into the leather couch. “You sound just like Ethan—oh. Ohhh. Ohhhh!” His eyes widen, and he breaks into a wide, excited grin. “That Rossi DNA is strong as fuck. We’ll take that too, please. Slip that BDSM contract into our packet.”
BDSM?
Reece’s face twists. “What the hell are you talking about?”
Jax leans in and fixes my brother with a pointed look. “He’s like Ethan—think about it. Actually, no!” He waves both hands. “Don’t think about it. Let’s pretend this conversation never happened.”
“Yes.” Rocco gives a curt nod. “Thank you.”
The room goes awkwardly silent. I keep my gaze fixed on the floor, willing that portal to Mountain Men, Montana to open.
“Well.” Jackson slaps his thighs and stands. “Time for bed. Lovely talking with you all. Come on, Viking. Let’s go.” He grabs Reece by the collar.