Chapter 5
Chapter Five
TREVOR
Paige arrived home with Jacob, having already eaten, at about eight last night. They were both asleep on the couch by nine, snoring as the movie we picked played. I carried each to their own beds, showered and changed, and then stared at the ceiling, listening to Paige’s soft snores.
I am up and out by six, but the Subaru is gone before I finish my run. I jog up the steps and open the door to silence.
The remainder of my morning is off. My suit fits perfectly, and my razor cuts a smooth line on my jaw. My eggs are still a perfect sunny side, sitting next to toast, the optimal shade of light brown. My coffee is hot, and the clink of my fork against my plate is the only sound inside my home.
While preparing my lunch to leave far earlier than I originally planned, I find a note my love left on yesterday’s dinner.
My star,
Thank you for bringing this home. Jacob and I brought ours to work for lunch. I hope you enjoy yours!
Love, your world
Krista comes to my door at ten minutes to noon, holding up her packed lunch. “You want some company?”
I gesture to the chair across the desk from me. “Please. We should go over the schedule and talk about some of these clients. I also think I misplaced a couple of my files.”
“Okay, okay. Slow down, boss man.” Krista grabs the chair across from me and drags it around the desk to place it directly next to mine. “Why don’t you show me what you’re talking about, and we can figure it out together.”
I let out a humorless laugh. “Yeah. Sorry. I have a pile of shit to do, and losing any file is not like me.” I run my hand through my hair and scoot my chair over a little to make room for her.
We work through the schedule for the remainder of the month.
A few times, I nearly tell her my plans for the remainder of the year, but something holds me back.
We work silently for at least forty-five minutes.
Krista leaves briefly, but when she returns, she folds her hands on the desk in front of her. Tilting her head to the side, she takes in my appearance. Her eyes move slowly from the top of my head down to my shoes. “You look tired.”
I bark out a laugh. “Wow. Okay.”
Her eyes crinkle in the corners with humor. “I’m serious. You’re a good-looking guy, but you’re not looking so good.”
“There’s a compliment and an insult in there.” I straighten the papers in front of me and align my pen with the side of it. Her sigh pulls my attention back to her pursed red lips and squinted eyes. “What?”
“What’s actually going on with you? How are you, really? You have so much you’re juggling here, and things can’t be easy at home, with Paige working those extra hours …”
I straighten up at the mention of my wife. It feels wrong at this moment. “Paige has been working longer hours.”
“And with a child, that must make things difficult.”
I consider what she’s saying. Because, yes, it does. “She has been more distracted than usual. Her longer hours have her gone before I’m back from my runs, and when she gets home, she barely has energy to get our boy settled before she’s asleep herself.”
“That sounds tough.”
I miss her. “It feels like she’s drifting away from me, and I don’t know how—” I pause and pick up the pen and click it a few times before looking back up and meeting Krista’s concerned gaze.
“What is it, Trev?” She reaches out and grasps my hand with her own, stopping the clicking. “You can tell me.”
I drop the pen with a clatter and squeeze her small hand lightly.
She’s been an incredible assistant and a reliable friend.
The time I’ve spent with her has shown me a more confident version of myself at work that I didn’t even realize I had.
Richard even told me that he was “impressed with the dedication” I’ve been showing.
It almost makes me reconsider the path I’ve started on. Almost.
Krista has been a light spot in this miserable place.
Just last week, my father came to me with questions about the Mendez loan, and she managed to distract him with some bullshit about a wedding her mother is going to with some important guests.
According to her, he was very interested in hearing the details of the guest list. Krista threw me a wink as she walked him away from me, patting his arm.
A sound in the hallway makes me drop her hand and clear my throat. “Thank you, but it’s all good. Just real life and me loving my wife to distraction.”
She smiles at my reaction and pats my hand. “Of course.” She leans back in her seat and crosses her legs. “I have some fun planned for the Fourth of July.”
“That’s good.” I check the time and see that the period I allotted for lunch is already done. We also finished a couple of things that were allotted for later this afternoon.
“I have a friend playing at a bar in Edgewood.”
“Oh? Pour Decisions?” I look up to see her nibbling on her lip. “That sounds like fun. Who are you going with?”
She shakes her head. “No one. I’m going alone.”
“Krista, Edgewood is a bit different from Briar Ridge. It’s bigger, and there’s that biker club. The Iron—”
“Aw, Trevor. Are you worried about me?” She smacks my arm and giggles. I roll my eyes. “Well, I would take your sister, but she said she’s too busy. I’m going to have a blast. They also have a half-off pitcher deal to celebrate our independence.”
“How the hell does that make any sense?” I pack up my lunch and pull a new file toward me.
“It’s America, Trevor. We love a good half-off deal. Anyway, I’ll just get a ride-share home when the concert is over. It’s going to be so much fun.”
Wait. “You’re taking advantage of cheap beer, going out on a busy holiday when a band is playing, and expecting to be able to get yourself home with one of the few ride shares available in our county? That’s a terrible plan, Krista.”
She pouts. “I promised them I’d make it, and I have to keep my word.”
“Okay, keep your word and be smart about it. Don’t risk your safety.” Who the hell watches over this woman?
“Well, you could always come with me.”
The invitation makes me blink. “Me?”
She grabs my arm. “Yes. We would have so much fun.”
I shake my head. “No. Sorry. You know I can’t.”
Krista nods solemnly. “You probably need to make dinner for when Paige finally gets home from Josh’s.
” I’m taken aback by her reasoning. I search her blue eyes for whatever the fuck she means by that.
The only thing I find is sympathy. So why did it sound bitter? Triumphant? I didn’t like that tone.
“Well, I’m done eating. Go ahead and head back to your desk and sort the files I left there before lunch.” I stand up, only to realize how close her seat is to mine.
“Knock knock,” a voice I’ll never get enough of calls from the doorway. The tension that has filled me since I returned from my run melts away.
“Baby.” I sigh and scoot past Krista to get closer to the perfect form of my wife, standing with a baby strapped to her chest and a mop-headed little boy standing next to her.
The view makes my heart warm and twinge at the same time.
Paige is such a perfect mother. I want her to have her own baby to cart around in her little kangaroo carrier.
Even on the strict regime of meds she’s been on, we still haven’t gotten the good news.
And that’s fine. Really. I should go in and get my sperm checked. Why haven’t I done that yet? Another way I’m letting her down.
“Honey? Did you hear me?”
I refocus to see Krista slowly packing up her lunch on my desk from the corner of my vision. Jacob enters the office and sits at the open desk chair, putting his feet up on the desk. This kid. “Krista, hey. You remember Paige, right? And you’ve met my boy?”
She smiles and nods to them. “Hey. Long time no see.”
My wife, the sweetest woman I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing, nods once. “Krista, hello.” Then she turns back to me, concern lining her lovely face. What the hell?
Krista finishes and skirts past me, inadvertently brushing against my thighs. “Excuse me. I’ll get to work on those items right away, Trev.”
“Thanks, Krista.” I don’t break eye contact with my wife until my boy swaps seats, taking the one behind my desk. “You gonna work like Dad, kiddo? Have your own office?”
“Yup. And I’ll have lunch with the pretty girls every day in here, just like you do with her.” He raises his chin in the direction of Krista.
“Oh. Uh, well, yeah.” I look at Paige. Shit. “I mean, it’s even better when you get to have lunches with your gorgeous wife.” Foot, enter mouth.
“Oh.” He looks at me with a question in his eyes, and I know what it is before he opens his mouth. “So why don’t you?” Yep. That’s the one.
Regret, frustration, guilt, and discomfort fill me when I think about the answer. Because it’s easier. Because it keeps my mother off my back. Because Krista is good company and makes work bearable.
“I would rather have lunch with you all every day. If things were different, that’s exactly what I would do. I just can’t get away from work for lunch reliably anymore.”
“Well, sorry to interrupt your working lunch.” Paige steps into the office after me, all three of us crowded in the space. The baby, Cassian, gurgles in his carrier. He’s so small.
“Never be sorry, Paige. It’s never a bad time for my family.” She nods, but keeps her face averted from me. What did I do? Her shoulders rise and fall with an inhale, and she spins back to me.
“I love you, Trevor.”
“I love you, too, baby.”
My wife searches my face and shakes her head. “Well, we gotta go. See you when you get home.” She gestures for Jacob to follow her. He frowns for a second before letting out a visible and audible sigh.
“Wait, what’s the occasion?” Paige used to stop by all the time. Now, it’s usually when she needs something specific from me.
“Oh, no reason. Dropping by, running errands.” Jacob hugs me, and I brush a kiss on his forehead that he quickly wipes off.
Paige leans into me, but she swerves at the last second and brushes her lips on my cheek.
“Goodbye, Trev.” She swiftly exits the office, one hand draped over the shoulder of our boy.
“Bye, baby,” I call out. She doesn’t look back.
I watch as they disappear down the hall and down the steps. I feel like I’m missing something important. Vital.
Something is wrong.