Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
PAIGE
Iwake up wrapped around Trevor, his hot skin a comfort I seek out in my sleep. My leg is hitched over his hip, and I look more like a backpack than a big spoon. Trevor once told me how much he loved waking up to his wife-backpack, so I’ve embraced my role.
Breathing in the scent of my sleeping lover soothes all of my jagged edges and allows me to sink into a deep, drowsy daze.
My mind drifts lazily through memories and to-do lists while I soak in the fortifying energy of being near the one I love.
My fingers drag through his hair in an automatic gesture born from years of sharing our space.
He murmurs and moves his head closer to my hand when I pause, and a smile lights his face when I continue.
I love him. Completely. Wholeheartedly. I was dumbfounded when I realized Trevor wanted me to be his when we first met.
The first year we spent together was a whirlwind.
We were pregnant, married, and kicked out of our homes.
Then, Jacob arrived three months early, and our lives revolved around him.
Returning with a healthy Jacob to a furnished apartment rather than the Suburban when he was discharged from the hospital was the first time I was able to take a full breath since we were kicked out after announcing my pregnancy.
Unfortunately, my reprieve from reality is disturbed by the memories of earlier in the week.
They crash over me in a wave of conflicting, uncomfortable emotions.
I look at him again, and the uncertainty that plagued me off and on all week bubbles up to the surface, overshadowing the sense of belonging from only a moment before.
With one last lingering look at my husband, I sit up, stretch, and get out of bed.
I drag my feet to the bathroom and avoid throwing a pillow at him.
I’m glad that I confronted Trevor about what I heard instead of holding everything in.
I would never have realized it was far more innocent than it sounded, and he’s been amazing in the days since.
However, I never brought up what I saw in his office.
I got so wrapped up in my relief of the misunderstanding that had haunted me all day, and the concerns of Bethany about her boyfriend, that the other part of the issue slipped my mind.
Our years together warrant a dose of skepticism with what I saw, but I can’t shake the unease of it.
I tilt my head as I brush my teeth, glaring at my untidy reflection.
Pristine Krista was close to him, and the way she looked at me as she walked out the door made me unaccountably jealous.
Trevor’s words run through my mind as a backdrop to that scene for the thousandth time.
Words spoken to a woman I barely know. A woman he shares his days with, when I barely have time for his nights.
I aggressively rinse my toothbrush and put it away.
One look at my curls, and I know I’ll have to shower and start over or put them into some type of updo.
“Gah!” He made me a promise. We didn’t make it through the last ten years with deceit, mistrust, and manipulations. I shake my head and check my reflection again. I’ll leave my hair down … for now.
“It feels like she’s drifting away from me.”
“Well, Trevor, that’s because when I see you, I want to jump on you and kiss you all over your stupid, handsome face.
” A rustling in the bedroom shuts me up, but it does not shut up my brain.
And tell you that we did it! We finally did it!
My hand also often glides to my softly rounded belly.
I don’t want him to think that I’m drifting away, but I want to surprise him.
Telling Trevor tonight under the fireworks means a lot to me, and I know it will mean a lot to him, too. I bet he’ll cry.
I consider my day in a series of to-dos.
I have a party to plan for. The bank may be closed for the holiday, but my husband is required to go in, as well as a few other members of upper management.
That leaves Jacob and me to gather and organize all of the supplies for the party and finalize cooking and baking.
Becky will be over early to help because she’s a doll like that.
Despite working today, Trevor agreed to pick up the barbecue from Joe’s on his way home.
He promised to work through lunch and make it home early, especially since we’ve invited his coworkers.
My mouth waters at the thought of Joe’s barbecue.
I’m grateful they were willing to cook something up for us last-minute.
On the list of people attending are Bethany and Bobby. I’m really excited to woo Bethany over to a friendship with Becky. They would be good for each other, and it drives me crazy that they’re both so weird about new friends.
I shrug into my party prep clothes—leggings and an oversized T-shirt—and throw a final glance at the mouthwatering view of the strong, wide shoulders and naked, toned back of my husband still sound asleep in our bed.
I take a step toward him when the clink of silverware against porcelain redirects my attention.
I grab my phone from the bedside table, kiss Trevor on his scruffy jaw, and meet my son at our kitchen table.
Sure enough, Jacob sits with a box of cereal propped in front of him.
His eyes move across it, likely completing the little puzzle on the back without a pen.
I ruffle his hair when I walk past him to the cabinets. “Why do you never use a pen on those things and do them for real?”
Jacob shakes his head like he’s disappointed in me, his curls bouncing with an energy of their own. “Mother, you know why.”
I scoff at him calling me mother. “Okay, smarty-pants, remind me.” Pulling down two coffee mugs, I pull out the milk and creamer.
“It’s because I might forget how to answer it the next time I eat the cereal, so I get to experience it like it’s new again and again.”
I place my hand against my head in an oh, duh pose. “Of course! How silly of me.”
He rolls his eyes, but his reluctant amusement shows on his expressive face.
“What are you two talking about?” Trevor’s sleepy voice calls from the direction of our bedroom.
I turn from where I’m preparing our coffees and barely keep my jaw from dropping.
My tussled, scruffy, sleepy-eyed husband walks toward us, his hand running through his movie-star hair while his gray sweatpants hang low on his hips. Damn.
“New experiences,” I respond, placing the milk back onto the counter.
His face drops for a second before he closes the gap between us.
Trevor crowds me into the counter, his arms on either side of me, and nuzzles into my neck before he wraps me in his embrace.
When his hands unknowingly cradle our baby, I melt a little and feel a new burst of excitement for tonight.
My plan is to hand him the positive pregnancy test while we watch the fireworks together—the way we have every year since we moved here.
It’s never truly planned, but it’s what we do.
We’ll stand together behind our guests, partially hidden by the bushes in our yard.
I’ll be leaning into his arms just as I am now, where we will sway.
He’ll sneak kisses on that spot on my neck he knows drives me crazy in an effort to drag me inside early, and I’ll hand him the test. Finally, we can celebrate our own victory under the lights of Independence Day.
A secret smile crosses my face as I melt into him and bask in the moment of my boys and me on this perfect morning together.
He’s late. Trevor is never late, and he’s supposed to be here with the barbecue by five. Instead, he hasn’t answered any of my messages. It’s six now. Jacob is already showing signs of an early bedtime, despite the promise of fireworks, and most of our guests have arrived with no main course.
“Hey, you look like you need to enjoy some time with the cutest part of the party.” The kind voice of Josh interrupts my frustration, and I push myself to give him and the precious red-white-and-blue adorned Cassian a warm welcome.
“Hey, y’all! I hope everything is going well with ya?” I may have overdone it with the chipper because Josh’s look goes from teasing to concerned.
“Are you okay, Paige?” His voice is lower, and he’s turned his body more fully toward mine.
“Yes.” A beat. “No. No, it’s really not.
My husband was supposed to pick up the meat from Joe’s, but that was an hour ago, and I’m not sure where he is.
” I’m being ridiculous, but this … Trevor letting me down this way is hurting my heart.
The disappointment I felt when I realized I wouldn’t get to privately reveal my little red and white sundress with the dip in the back was another blow to my happy anticipation for the day.
“Hey, hey, that’s an easy fix.” Josh pats my shoulder reassuringly just before dropping his baby into my arms.
“Uh—um. What—”
“He always makes me happy, so hold him while I talk.” He pats Cassian’s head before backing up a step. “I’ll be back in thirty minutes, so long as you have my boy. Just let your husband know the food is covered.” And before I have a chance to argue, he’s already striding away.
“Well, then. Okay,” I say, more to myself than to him. “Bye.”
“Look at this cutie,” Bethany singsongs from behind me. I turn to her and smile widely when I see how adorable she looks.
“Oh, you look adorable!” She spins, a shy look on her face as I take in the cute overall jean shorts and daring V-neck—daring because it’s on her bountiful chest.
“I feel like the Fourth of July.”
“Does it make you want a hotdog and a sparkler?”
“Real bad.” We both laugh, and she holds her hands up in a gimme gesture. A bouncing, happy Cassian transitions smoothly from me to her, and Bethany goes with joy, holding that baby in her arms.