Chapter 13 #3
That uncomfortable feeling claws up to my chest, “Well, no. Probably not.”
“Does she have Do Not Disturb for nights set up? Sometimes, I forget that I have it on and miss calls during late nights.”
“Well, fuck. I thought—I assumed—shit.” I thought she was icing me out. I thought she didn’t want me around. I thought that it wouldn’t matter if I stayed or if I left because she didn’t want me around.
“It sounds like you assumed a lot, and now you’re paying the price.” Billy tilts his head and looks me up and down before shaking his head. “Have you talked to Krista about any uh—messages she took today?”
“I borrowed her phone to send Paige messages throughout the day. Why? What do you know?”
“Paige, the—Paige and I both tried calling you today. Multiple times. The calls to her number went to voicemail, and the calls to your office were redirected to another line.”
“I asked Krista all day to check in. I was annoying the fuck out of her, so she’d send it, then show me updates, but nothing ever came of it. Paige didn’t respond to a single message.”
“Fucking hell, buddy. You’re about to be in a world of hurt.” My eyes narrow at his words. He shows his phone. Sure enough, five outgoing calls to my office, and two to Krista’s contact.
“Motherfucker. I thought she was still angry with me and was giving me the silent treatment. I kept trying, though … She thinks that I was ignoring her?” I would never.
“Okay, okay. Slow down. I need to tell you something.” Billy is out of his seat and standing across the small room from me with his hand out. “You need to promise to remain calm.”
Those words generate the opposite reaction in my body. Everything inside and outside of me locks down in preparation for what’s coming next. Billy is not a prepare yourself type of guy.
He takes an audible, slow, deep breath in and releases it just as slowly. “I got a call a little before lunch. You know how I sometimes do weekend duty on call?” I barely manage a nod in response. “Because yesterday was a holiday, they needed me on call today. Lots of guys were working late, and—”
“I get it.” He nods and doesn’t comment on my tone. Warning bells are ringing loudly in my ears.
“There was an accident.”
My stomach drops. “No. Billy, stoppit. Paige called in an accident?” Bile builds in my throat, but a quick glare from Billy shuts me up.
“There was a three-car accident in town. All three cars were totaled and are down in the back with the wrecker.” Billy gestures behind him.
“Just fucking tell me.”
“There was—” He sighs and hooks his thumbs in the belt loops of his pants. “There was a Subaru on its roof outside of Piggies Grocery. It didn’t even register until I was kneeling beside it. Paige was sitting there with her arms wrapped around her belly, muttering—”
His voice continues, but it’s distant, muted, as if he’s underwater.
Or maybe I’m underwater. I blink, trying to pull my vision into focus, but it doesn’t work.
I’m vaguely aware of my thudding heart, my breathing picking up.
Then my body moves without any conscious thought—out the door, down the stairs, and into the back lot.
A warm breeze moving over my half-naked body, the quiet hum of cars passing slowly by, and the distant laughter of a group of teens carrying into the quiet night—all of these mundane details highlight the normalcy of the moment.
It all accentuates the unmanageable chaos in my mind.
I can’t comprehend the image that sits in front of me.
Paige’s safe little Subaru—the first thing I was able to buy her under my own merit—is here, in the lot. The top is crushed to shit, with all the airbags set off and now hanging limply, dropping out of the sides of the broken windows.
I crash to my knees in front of the mangled remains of her car and stare, unblinking, at the evidence of what I could have lost today.
“Baby, wait, you don’t have your car for some reason, so let me take you two home.”
She thought I didn’t bother answering her calls. She must have been so afraid. She thought I had abandoned her.
“I don’t need you to drive distracted. Just get to the house and we will talk there.”
I think I’m hyperventilating. My breathing is uneven, fast, sharp, and totally useless. My chest is tight, and my fists open and shut over a handful of gravel. A haze fills the edges of my vision, like in the bathroom earlier, and this time, I will it to swallow me whole.
Until a giant mitt of a hand closes over my shoulder and shakes me so hard my teeth clatter.
“Trevor! You saw her, man. She is okay.” At that word, a ragged groan escapes, but he continues.
“You’ve seen her since then. She’s fine.
” He kneels at my side, his hand sitting heavily on my shoulder.
His words fill my mind with logic, but even as breath fills my lungs, I still feel empty.
I need to see that she’s okay. I need to hold her. I need to tell her everything and make all of this go away.
She’s safe, and we are going to be just fine.