Chapter 34
Chapter Thirty-Four
TREVOR
She’s wrecking me, tearing me up from the inside and looking like a fucking queen while doing it. But she’s not hearing me.
“Just shut up. Shut the fuck up and listen to me.” I press my body into hers and lift my hand to cup her delicate throat.
“You asked me if I thought she was attractive, and I nodded because she is. She is an attractive girl, and I was not going to lie to you. Sitting there proud and glorious even in your pain?” I scoff and shake my head.
“I wasn’t going to lie. How do you think I know you believe both of my closest friends are hotties? ”
“Don’t you dare compare—”
I drop my head against hers and sigh. “No, no. You’re right.
Do you need me to lay it all out? Tell you everything?
” She nods against me. “Fine.” I lean back enough to see her reaction.
“I noticed how she grew up. I noticed her legs she flaunted, the curves she always uncovered.” A small growl vibrates my palm.
“And her bright, red lips. I noticed, Paige.”
“How is this supposed to help anything, you pig!”
I smirk because I know. I know my heart.
“Because.” My voice drops to a rough whisper when I lean even closer to her.
Fury pours off of her, but it’s tinged with something hotter.
“I didn’t do anything beyond notice—I didn’t feel anything beyond recognition of its existence.
” I pinch her chin tightly in my fingers to keep her from ripping out of my hold.
“No, listen to me.” I drop the hand holding her throat to skim it down the side of her body until I grab a hold of her thigh, squeezing it with a low groan.
“Your legs are the only ones I imagine wrapped around my hips while I’m deep inside of you.
” Our sharp breaths mingle in the small space between us, and I’m transfixed when her little pink tongue darts out to lick a path across her plump lower lip.
I bite down the urge to follow the move with my own.
“Your lips are the only ones I dream about having wrapped around my cock.” My voice starts to break with the need for my woman, my wife.
I trail my hand back up over her growing belly until it brushes the side of her heaving chest—so maddeningly close.
“Your perfect breasts, swollen with milk for our babies.” I hiss out a breath at the image in my mind.
“I only want your juicy, leaking nipples in my mouth while you bounce on my dick.” I emphasize my words with a ragged, biting tone.
My hand trails back to rest on the wall behind her.
I brush my nose against hers—my words a hair’s breadth away from her mouth.
“Do you hear me, wife? Your bullshit questions all those weeks ago painted a picture in your head that was wrong.” She opens her mouth to protest, but I squeeze her neck, just a little.
“I worship only you.” I want to kiss her, I want to taste her on my lips.
It has never been this way with any other.
She tries to look away, but I shake her until her dark eyes lock on mine.
“Other women exist. They are out in the world—beautiful women, I’m not going to lie about it.
I never have. But they are not you.” Fuck, she smells good.
“I will happily prove that to you for the rest of my life. You’re everything to me. ”
“Trevor.”
My eyes dip down to watch her pouty lips tremble around my name before I look into her eyes.
Her pupils have swallowed her irises whole.
My body throbs at the view I’ve missed for weeks, months.
“Oh, baby. Does that make you hot for me? Hearing how fucking obsessed I am with you?” I use the leg I have wedged between hers and press just a little and watch as my little, filthy wife flutters her lashes at me and moans.
“Fuckkk.” She wants me. God, I want her.
“Do you need me, baby? Do you need me to make you feel good?” She whimpers, and I’m hard as a fucking rock when she does it.
“P-please make me feel better. Make me feel good.” I freeze with my hand running down her chest to her pussy to feel how wet she is for me when those words penetrate my haze.
“Feel better, Paige? How can I make you feel better?” My wandering hand veers off course to stroke along her side, desperately wanting to feel our babies, while the hand holding her by the throat soothes her in a soft caress. “Tell me, and I’ll make you feel better.”
Her eyes are still blown out, but a trembling hits her body. “I-I’m so tired. I’m—” Her eyes close, and a tear drips down her cheek. “I’m exhausted. I don’t want to do this alone.”
“Oh, honey.” All thoughts of reconnecting disappear, though my body takes a minute to catch up, when I scoop up my small wife and cradle her in my arms. I grunt when her weight puts pressure on my bruise, but when she settles into my arms?
I’ll take a hundred more hits if it means I can hold her like this.
Another tear slips down her cheek and into her hair.
Paige’s lower lip trembles, and I really am the fucking worst. “You don’t need me to fight you, do you, baby?
” Her face scrunches as fresh tears fall.
“Oh, God. Paige. Okay. I think … Let me try one more time. Alright? And if I fuck this up again, I’ll stop.
Yeah?” I carry her to the couch and settle down with her snuggled up against me.
Her face scrunches again, but this time I take it as you can try.
I’m not going to squander this opportunity. “Alright. I made a mistake—many mistakes. Not only over the last few months, but over the years since we first met. I have a hard time regretting many of them because they’ve given me an unforgettable life with my incredible family.”
“This is a terrible apology,” she grumbles into my shirt, and my heart thrums at seeing her—feeling her here. My soul needed this connection.
“I’m getting there, I promise.” Her eyes pop open, just for her to roll them at me, but she remains in my arms. “It is this last year that I’ve made the biggest mistakes.
The ones that brought you only pain and disappointment.
I’ve told you why, I’ve been working on recompense, and I need to tell you that I’m sorry. ”
“You’ve already apologized—”
“No, not really. I haven’t. I’ve explained myself.
Tried to help you understand that it wasn’t what it looked like, but I never told you how deeply sorry I am for what I did.
” Her eyes flutter back shut, but she stays.
I take strength in that. “I have been so focused on trying to get you to understand that it was a misunderstanding, that I didn’t consider the fact that I still hurt you.
The choices I made—the times that I chose her in whatever capacity—caused you so much pain, and betrayed your trust, and I will be spending the rest of my life—” I clear my throat when it tries to close up.
“The rest of my life making it up to you.”
She sits quietly in my arms. “I’m not breakable, Trevor. But my trust is.”
“You didn’t deserve any of that from me.”
“I’m tired.” Her eyes remain closed, and she nuzzles into me.
“You’re growing two humans, and you’re married to an idiot.” She snorts, and a reluctant, relieved smile plays at my lips. “I miss you. Every morning, every day, and every night, I miss you.”
“I miss you too.”
I swallow the sharp emotion that wells up inside at her words. It’s more than I’ve gotten from her in months. “I love you.”
A soft snore greets my admission. I miss those words, but I squeeze her tighter in my arms. Content, I feel like I can finally breathe with her here.
Knocking on the door to my own house has become uncomfortably normal.
I came back after taking Jacob to school this morning, feeling like something is missing.
Paige went home after she woke up in my bed.
She was quiet when she asked for a ride—one I was more than happy to give her, but she slipped into the house without a backward glance.
Bethany answers the door, holding it open for me with a warm smile.
“Good morning, Trevor. What’re you doing here so early?
” She gasps. “Does this mean you left the hell hole?” I follow her into the kitchen, where she pulls a mug from our cabinet and fills it.
“If I were more attuned to energy and aura, I’d say yours looks lighter today.
” I lean against the island and breathe easy.
Her hand is bare again as she pours some cream into her coffee.
She doesn’t add sugar, which throws me, until she hands the mug to me.
“Is your being here so early have anything to do with finally calling it quits?”
I take the mug she’s offering, my heart warming with my first sip. Perfectly made. “Not quite. Not yet. Ms. Tyson told me I looked sick and needed to go home. Or essentially that I need to use some of my months of PTO before I quit.”
A smile ghosts across her face, her lips tilting along the edges. “I’ve always loved that woman.” There’s fondness in her voice.
“She’s the only human our father cowers to.”
“He’s afraid she will curse him.”
I laugh into my coffee, nearly spitting it out. “Holy shit. He absolutely would think that.” Originally from New Orleans, he probably suspects she would know voodoo. “She’d do it if she could.”
“She’d have done it for years if she could.”
We both snicker at the picture we’re painting of our father, but the shared humor turns into something that digs at me. A realization that we could have had this for so much longer. “I’m so sorry, Bethany. I’ve made so many mistakes.”
She sighs, dipping her head to the floor. “We’re going to go there, huh?” She looks back up into my identical eyes. “Can we at least sit on the couch before our session?” Her words are teasing, but her expression hints at the sadness banked inside.