Chapter 2
two
CONNOR
My bare ass was becoming one with the dirt while I scratched Zoe’s panting wolf’s head. My heartbeat was faster than it should’ve been, my breathing rougher.
I didn’t think the woman had any idea how close she had just gotten to not making it through the shift.
I fucking hoped she didn’t.
Dragging a hand through my hair, I pulled it out of my eyes and let out a slow breath.
Her wolf was absolutely wiped out, and for good reason. She’d almost fucking died.
I needed to convince her to rest for a while. The shift back to her human form would probably be almost as brutal for both of them.
Zoe wasn’t kidding when she said she didn’t know how to relax.
She had pulled through the first shift, though.
That was what mattered. Shifting after the first time could be pretty damn painful, but it couldn’t kill you.
I slowly scratched her wolf’s head, back, and belly over the next hour while her breathing evened out. I’d need to wait until she fell asleep to get up, to check if she wanted to explore the forest. Most wolves did after their first shift.
But most wolves didn’t dance with death like she did.
When Zoe’s wolf finally recovered, she closed her eyes and fell asleep.
I picked her up carefully, trying not to wake her.
She didn’t even flinch.
At least she was comfortable with me. We were definitely going to need that.
The walk back to my place wasn’t too bad. Zoe hadn’t gone more than a mile and a half or so. I took the long way, in case any of my packmates were still sitting outside.
I doubted they would’ve cancelled the book club meeting. Between Finn and Abby, they were obsessed.
When I got back to my place, I found Ethan sitting on my porch swing with a couple bottles of alcohol next to him.
Not for the first time, I was glad werewolves couldn’t really get drunk.
“Is that vodka?” I asked, as I stepped onto the porch. Two of the bottles were already empty. Not a great sign.
“I can’t believe the rest of you fuckers have had two mates and I can’t even fucking get one.” His voice slurred.
He was a sad drunk. Luckily the alcohol’s effects only lasted a few minutes, and he rarely drank.
“Most of us would’ve preferred not having one over our first experience,” I said.
“It doesn’t matter, because you all got perfect fucking mates the second time around.” He took a long swig. “I want a perfect fucking mate.”
I sat down on the swing next to him, cradling Zoe’s wolf to my chest with one arm. With the other, I snagged the three full bottles next to him.
The vodka dulled his reflexes long enough for me to throw the bottles at the nearest tree, one by one. The sounds of glass shattering didn’t make any of us flinch.
“Fuck you.” Ethan slouched against the back of the swing. There was no anger behind the words.
“Did you ask the girls’ for Maya’s address?”
It had become pretty obvious that fate was pairing our pack up with their friend group for some reason. I hadn’t been interested in mating with another woman who didn’t want me, so I hadn’t bothered trying to meet them.
Ethan had been attempting to get their addresses and phone numbers for months. Unsuccessfully. The girls were loyal to each other, which was good for them and shitty for him.
“Of course I fucking did.”
They’d turned him down again.
It was for the better, even if he didn’t think so. I was already steeling myself for the conversation that would come when Zoe shifted again.
I don’t want you.
We’re better as friends.
I’m in love with someone else.
“Did you ask for her number?” I was positive he had, and curious if they’d give it to him now.
There was a damn good chance he’d end up mated to the woman, if he ever met her.
Ethan handed me his phone. I hadn’t noticed it at first when I sat down, but it was on the bench next to him. A text conversation was open.
The contact was labeled Maya.
Ethan
Hey, Maya. This is Ethan. Your friends gave me your number. Can we meet up for drinks or something sometime? I think we’d get along
Maya
No
Ethan
We could go rock climbing or bowling or something instead
Maya didn’t respond to that.
I grimaced and handed the phone back. “It’s not great.”
“She fucking blocked me. Look.” He took the phone and shook it toward me. “The message should say delivered. It doesn’t.”
He must’ve googled that.
“If she doesn’t want a mate, it’s probably for the better. Rejection is deadly,” I said.
“You survived it. So would I.”
I raised an eyebrow.
I’d never been as obsessed with finding a mate as Ethan was. I was in my early twenties when I met Shaina, but I hadn’t been particularly worried about growing old alone. Not like most werewolves were.
Including Ethan.
The man wanted a companion more than anything. I didn’t hold it against him, but it was a fact. Someone who wanted a mate that badly didn’t have great odds of surviving losing one.
Ethan chugged the rest of his vodka, then threw the empty bottle at the same tree I’d hit with the others. It missed by a solid foot.
“Why the fuck couldn’t she be mine?” He stabbed a hand toward Zoe.
A growl escaped me.
That was the wolf claiming his territory. He wouldn’t handle the second rejection as well as I would.
“She almost died during her first shift,” I said. There was a lump in my throat with the words. I was sure it meant nothing.
Ethan’s eyes went wide. “How close was it?”
“You’re so fucking drunk.”
He leaned closer. “How close?”
I let out a harsh breath. “Close.”
“Fuck.” Ethan shoved a hand through his hair. “It’s a good thing you were there.”
“You would’ve lost your fucking mind.”
“She would’ve died. I would’ve lost my mate.”
“She’s mine for a reason.”
At least for the time being.
Ethan nodded.
His eyes focused a little, and his expression grew steely. “I’m going to get her to meet me.”
Terrible decision. Truly.
“I believe you,” I said.
Ethan nodded, as if to himself.
“Quit drinking,” I added.
He nodded again. “She wouldn’t like it.”
“You really need to tone it down, man.”
Ethan was already striding away. There was a stagger in his step that may have been pride, or may have been the alcohol. I wouldn’t bet in either direction.
“Don’t get rejected again,” he yelled as he left.
That was unlikely.
I stared down at the small, gray wolf in my arms.
She was beautiful.
Too bad she was never going to actually be mine.
The wolf whined in her sleep, and I rubbed her ears until she was snoring again.
She’d need the rest.
Carrying her inside the house, I set her down on my couch and took a few steps back.
What the fuck was I supposed to do now?
I only had to wonder for a minute—because she started whining in her sleep again.
She’d nearly died because of me. The least I could do was sit next to her and rub her fur while she rested.
A woman’s cry of pain ripped me from sleep.
I looked around the room blearily, before realizing the sound had come from the warm, furry bundle in my arms.
Zoe.
My mate.
She was shifting again.
Fuck.
I talked her through it. Tried to do it without letting her know how attracted I was to her this time, too.
Probably failed.
I was really fucking attracted.
Her naked body was plastered to mine with sweat and tears by the time she finished shifting. She panted, her violent inhales and exhales enough to worry me a little.
I’d never seen anyone else transform so brutally before.
It was going to take a lot of work for her to find peace with the wolf.
My arms were around her bare back. I knew I should probably let go, but couldn’t.
I wanted her too badly.
She could probably feel that, because I hadn’t thought about putting pants on after I got home.
Her trembling slowly got a little better.
“Hi,” she finally whispered.
“Hi.” I should feed her. That would help her recover. “Do you like eggs and bacon?”
“I’m a vegetarian,” she whispered.
Her voice trembled as much as her body.
“I think I have bread. And… butter. Do you eat butter?”
“Yeah. Bread and butter would be good.”
“Might even have peanut butter and jelly. I’m sure you can eat that.”
She laughed softly. “As long as they didn’t come from a peanut butter cow or a jellyfish.”
“Damn. Better make a trip to the grocery store.”
I felt her small smile against my skin. It faded after a moment. “I’m a mess,” she said.
“You just had your first shift. That’s expected.”
“Emmy said shifting was barely painful.”
“Finn said she’s a werewolf prodigy.”
Zoe sighed. “Of course she is.”
“If it’s any consolation, Jade has been in our shifting training program for months and has barely progressed.”
“Jade has no anxiety. If she can’t figure it out, I’m doomed.”
“Way to be positive.”
“I almost died.”
My chest tightened.
I didn’t need a reminder of that. The memory would be permanently engraved in my mind.
“What are the odds that I can manage to never shift again?” she checked.
“Zero.”
“Dammit.” She pressed her forehead to my throat. Then froze. “We’re naked.”
“We’re werewolves. Nudity happens.”
“Do you hold your friends like this when it happens?”
“Only when they’re lonely.”
She snorted.
I tried to fight the urge to smooth her hair back, and failed.
“Can I borrow a pair of your clothes?” Zoe asked, finally peeling her face off my skin.
It took everything I had not to look down at her tits. They’d felt fucking perfect against me.
“Take whatever you want. Bedroom’s right there.” I gestured to the door. “I’m going to run to the store for some vegetarian peanut butter, so if you want a shower, you’ve got time.”
She laughed. “Good to know.” Her smile faded. “Would you mind closing your eyes while I…” she gestured to the room.
Yes, I’d mind.
“Sure.” I closed them anyway.
The moment of truth was coming whether I looked or not.
The one thing all of my rejected packmates and I had in common was that our mates’ wolves had no problem with walking away from us during the chase. Most female wolves refused to let their male out of their sight if they were genuinely interested.
Zoe’s footsteps were soft as she padded across the living room.
She stopped abruptly.
My chest tightened.
Please, let her—
“Is there a chance I could die every time I shift?” she asked.
“No. Only the first.”
A relieved breath escaped her, and she disappeared into the bedroom.
The door shut and locked behind her, and I slumped.
She really was going to reject me.
I was fucked.