Chapter Nine
Louis
Louis took a shot. And missed. Epically.
The puck sailed over Hank’s head. His best friend didn’t even bother trying to stop it from getting in his net.
There was absolutely no point since it went nowhere near it.
Louis didn’t look at Hank’s concerned expression; he turned around and went to find another puck.
Feeling completely numb after Rosie broke up with him, he didn’t even care about anything else. It felt like his heart had been torn out, leaving nothing left. He was simply a shell that could barely remember how to function.
That wasn’t fair on the team, he had to get his head back in the game. He could hurt later, when he was alone. He could even cry if he wanted to or just sit in the dark.
How had he messed this up so badly? Did he really control her? She hadn’t even given him a chance to respond or defend their relationship or himself.
But what did I do? If she doesn’t want to be with me, I will respect that. However, if I don’t know what I did, how can I be better in the future?
“Focus, Louis!” Hank shouted.
Something bounced off his back. Did Hank throw his glove at him?
Morgan laughed as he retrieved the glove, while gliding with the puck, and passed it back to the goalie. Hank was that good, he still stopped the goal Morgan aimed for, caught the glove, and put it back on without losing his stride.
Skating toward Louis, Hank gave him a gentle shove. “You’re aiming too high. And you aren’t even looking at what you are doing. What is going on?”
So much kindness in his friend’s eyes. Louis swallowed and faced away. He didn’t know how to word how broken he was. Meanwhile, in the background, Morgan and Ajax were passing the puck to each other and took it in turns to score in the empty goal.
Great. Now he was distracting Hank and giving Ajax and Morgan a chance to mess about.
Hank scowled. “I need to stop those two. But we will talk after practice.” That tone told him that he had no choice. “You are distracted and as your goaltender and friend, I need to know why.”
In case he needed to focus even more than normal to cover for Louis. Which was an awful thing to do to his best friend. They all played well, but covering for someone else increased the pressure. It increased the risk of mistakes. Injury. Burnout.
“Sure,” Louis responded quietly.
Hank disappeared off, throwing a look at Spencer as he did so who was practicing in his own corner. No doubt Spencer would appear next to him and ask questions.
Hank managed to get back in the goal, retrieve the puck from Morgan, and whacked it back down the ice, making the two young players skate hard to chase it.
Determined to not let his team down even more than he was already, Louis zeroed in on the moving puck and skated for it.
Dodging Ajax, he got the puck from Morgan, catching them both by surprise.
With the puck in his control, he turned and headed back for the goal and went for another shot.
Closer this time, but still poor compared to his normal accuracy.
Spencer stared at him. Louis tried to ignore it and skate past him, but his friend decided to follow.
Yep. He was right. Now it was Spencer’s turn. The rest of the team skated round them, trying not to get involved, but staying close in case they caught something juicy.
“You’re tense. You’re angry. You’ve missed every shot. Almost every pass. What’s going on?” Spencer asked.
Louis tried to get past, but his friend blocked his way with a hand to his shoulder. Another concerned face, and it made the emptiness in his chest worse. Because now the void where his heart should be was being replaced by guilt.
What a captain he had turned out to be. An utter failure.
A puck appeared, sliding between them. Ajax couldn’t stop his momentum in time and used Louis as a brake. Thankfully, Louis managed to find his balance, and catch Ajax, before they both fell over.
“Do you mind?” Spencer gently shoved Ajax away who was laughing. “We’re gossiping.”
“Good for you!” Ajax teased. “Mind not doing it in the way?”
Spencer glared but understood the point and pulled Louis away. Taking a seat on the bench, they drank some water side by side.
Hanging his head in shame, Louis stared at the floor. His mind was spinning. His emotions were all over the place. He had to find his balance again, or he would be useless in tomorrow’s game.
Just a shame that he wanted Rosie. Needed her. She was his new balance. Her smile was what he played for now, to prove he was worthy of her. Obviously, he wasn’t.
“So?” Spencer asked eventually, elbowing Louis’s side. “You going to tell me or keep me in suspense? I can guess, if you’d like?”
“Drop it, Spencer. Please.” His voice sounded broken.
Patting his arm, Spencer answered softly, “Not likely. You are not just my friend right now. I can see you hurting, and it hurts me. But you are our also captain. Our leader. The one that guides us and boosts morale, yet we can all see you drowning out there. We depend on you, so it is our turn to help you.” Spencer leaned in closer. “Talk to me. Let me help.”
“LEDGER!”
Both Louis and Spencer’s head popped up at the sound of the shout, very surprised. Frederick rushed in and headed straight to the barrier around the ice, looking extremely flustered. Staring at the players practicing, he was clearly searching for Louis’s jersey.
“Over here.” Louis even raised his hand.
Poor Frederick was so confused, naturally expecting the captain to be on the ice, but he headed over without a comment about it.
“What can I do for you?” Louis asked.
It must be urgent if Frederick was running. Unsurprisingly, everyone had stopped moving on the ice to watch. Spencer hadn’t moved from his spot, enjoying his front row seat until he was told to leave.
“Nightingale, I need a moment with Ledger,” Frederick stated.
Sighing in disappointment, Spencer left them.
Was Louis in trouble?
“Want to explain to me what just happened in my office?” Frederick demanded, his hands going to his hips.
Louis stood up and took off his helmet. His heart stuttered. He had a funny feeling he knew, but he was really hoping he was wrong.
“What happened?” he asked quietly.
Taking a deep breath, Frederick stared at him. “Rosemary has just stormed in and demanded to quit. I managed to talk her out of it for now and she is instead having a few weeks off.”
Gasping in shock, Spencer was now figuring it out. “You and Harpy broke up.”
Obviously, he hadn’t gone too far just in case he was needed.
Louis swallowed. He did not deny it, but he didn’t want it to become real and admit it, either. “Don’t call her that.”
“She loves it really,” Spencer argued.
He wasn’t wrong. She let them call her it because she had earnt it. It made her feel welcome since they said it with affection now.
“Is this true?” Frederick asked softly.
Louis nodded.
Then came his next question. “Why?” Louis was about to argue, but Frederick held up his hand.
“Before you say it is none of my business, let me remind you that she was trying to quit. And you look to be in pain, which means you are distracted. This place is my business, and this is happening within my walls.”
Louis hung his head again because the other man was absolutely right. This was messing with the whole team. Frederick’s business.
“She broke up with me in her office not long ago. I thought it might be because her parents didn’t approve of me, so she was ending it between us. But she told me I was controlling her.” Louis rubbed a hand down his face. “I am sorry, Frederick. I never expected this to happen.”
Now the whole team were getting closer, looking concerned. No one dared to say anything bad about her, because she had become their friend, too. And Louis would flatten them.
“I care for her, and I want to fight for her, but I cannot compete with her parents, who definitely won’t like me now,” Louis added. “It isn’t fair to put her in the middle. I never intended to control her, but I don’t know how I did. If I don’t know, I cannot watch out for it.”
“Her parents suck,” Morgan summed up. “And if you did control her, you suck, too. At least you we can fix. But that does not sound like you. You coax. Maybe she is just feeling trapped and lashing out.”
Louis sighed, but he didn’t argue. “Hopefully when she has time to settle, she will find a way to work with me without it being awkward between us.”
Frederick bit his bottom lip. “If she changes her mind, and she does decide to quit to avoid you, we have lost a valued member of our team.”
“That’s not fair to put that on him,” Hank murmured. “It might not be his fault, and you can see he’s hurting already.”
The team agreed with him.
Sighing, Frederick nodded and patted Louis’s shoulder. “I apologise, Louis. They are right. I am just stressed.”
There was quiet for a moment.
Louis heart was telling him to chase after her. To fix it. To somehow make it better for her. But his mind was winning. She was hurting and pressuring her by going after her would not help.
“I cannot go after her,” Louis whispered. “If she is avoiding me, it might upset her more.”
“It will show that you care for her.” Spencer replied, “One of the problems her parents have with you is that they think you would choose hockey over her.”
Louis hesitated. He had a point.
Hank stepped forward. “You love her. This may be your best chance to prove it to her. You need to find out how you were controlling, so you can change.”
Love. Louis did in fact love her, and like a coward, he hadn’t told her. It hadn’t felt right at the time since they were still finding their way. Rosie had so much going on already without him throwing that emotion into the situation.
“She may still want to leave the team,” Louis pointed out.
Frederick nodded. “At least you can say you tried. You need to try and get her back. Even if it means you negotiate somehow. I think the only one she would listen to is you right now. Only you can make this better.”
“Or make it a whole lot worse,” Louis muttered.