Chapter 38 The Proposal
The following morning, Elizabeth found Mr. Darcy waiting alone at the gate.
She looked beyond him. “Is Georgiana unwell again?”
“No. She is quite well. I asked her to remain at Pemberley this morning.”
Elizabeth regarded him with curiosity but did not question him further. Mr. Darcy released the reins, and his mount followed behind them as they set out toward Arbor Low. From time to time, the horse stopped to crop the grass before catching up again.
For several minutes they spoke of nothing of consequence, and Elizabeth welcomed the easy conversation.
When they reached Arbor Low, they crossed among the stones until they came to the place where they had stood the previous morning.
“Miss Elizabeth, yesterday I told you that I did not wish to lose you again, and I have thought of little else since.”
Mr. Darcy took her hand.
“I believed Georgiana’s situation had taken away my right to ask a woman to share my life, considering the burden my family carried. Then I learned what Wickham had done to yours and discovered that you had reached much the same conclusion about your own future.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Wickham is responsible for what he did to our sisters. I will not permit him to determine anything more between us.”
His expression was earnest and warm.
He drew nearer and took her hands. “I love you, Elizabeth. I find that when we are in the same room, I cannot keep my eyes from you. When we are apart, I think of what you might be doing and count the hours until I may see you again. I have tried to be sensible about you, but I no longer wish to be.”
Elizabeth’s heart beat faster.
“I love you too, Fitzwilliam.”
He bent close and kissed her. It was a gentle kiss.
She rose onto her toes and returned it, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing herself against him. His arms tightened around her waist, and he kissed her again, this time with fervor.
She had not known he was capable of such passion. A thrill went through her, and a low sound of pleasure escaped her lips.
One corner of his mouth curved, and she saw the lurking smile in his eyes.
Elizabeth felt as if she had entered another world, one in which the longing of her heart had been answered.
At last, she knew what it was to be kissed by Mr. Darcy.
“Darling, we have weeks before December twenty-first,” he said. “I do not intend to waste them simply because we hope to change what has happened.”
He held her closer.
“Elizabeth, will you marry me?”
For one wonderful moment, the answer required no thought. Then she considered what success might mean.
“Fitzwilliam, we may stand before a clergyman and make our vows, live as husband and wife, and then, if we cross back, return to a time when none of it has happened. Our marriage will disappear along with everything else.”
“But that does not make our marriage meaningless while we are living it.”
“No, it does not. What troubles me is that we do not know what we shall remember afterward.”
“Then my letter must tell me enough to find you again.”
“But, sir, a letter cannot make you love me.”
“No, nor would I want it to. If I return to April with no memory of you, I shall have no right to expect you to love a stranger. I can only tell myself that Elizabeth Bennet exists, that I once loved you, and that I need to find you and discover for myself why.”
Elizabeth looked down at their joined hands.
“And what if I remember?”
His fingers tightened around hers.
“I have thought so much about the possibility that I might forget you, but I am beginning to think remembering may be worse. I may return knowing what it was to be your wife. I will remember being loved by you and loving you in return. I will remember our marriage, our home, and waking beside you. Then, in a single moment, it will all be gone.”
“Elizabeth.”
“What if something prevents us from finding our way back to one another? We do not know what else may change. There may be circumstances we cannot foresee or something beyond our control. You may meet me again and feel nothing for me.”
He lifted her hand and held it against his chest.
“I cannot promise what either of us will remember.”
“I know.” Her voice trembled. “That is what frightens me. I do not know if I can endure remembering that I was your wife and finding myself a stranger to you. I fear the break between one life and the next will be more than I can bear.”
He drew her into his arms.
“Then I will give myself every possible means of finding you. I will tell myself where you are, what I know of you, and what you meant to me. I cannot command the man I was to love you, Elizabeth, but I can make certain he knows that once, when I was given the choice, I chose you.”
She pressed her face against his chest.
“And if he does not choose me again?”
Fitzwilliam was silent for a moment.
“Then I will have been a very great fool twice.”
She nestled deeper into his arms, and he held her close. For a time, neither of them spoke.
At last, he kissed the top of her head.
“If I must find you twice, Elizabeth, I shall.”
Her eyes filled with tears.
“Elizabeth?”
She wiped at her cheeks. “I am so happy, sir. You have made me very happy.”
“Then perhaps you might put me out of my uncertainty.”
She looked up at him.
“Fitzwilliam, I will marry you.”
He drew her closer, and she raised her mouth to his.
When he released her, Elizabeth remained pressed against him, her arms still around his neck.
“If you would allow it, I would marry you tomorrow, Elizabeth.” He drew back enough to look at her. “But I know you will want the Gardiners and Jane with you.”
“Yes, sir.”
Elizabeth studied his mouth.
“You have a lovely lower lip, Mr. Darcy. I have often wondered what it would be like to do this.”
She rose onto her toes and caught his lower lip between hers.
This time, there was nothing restrained in his response.
When he finally released her, Elizabeth stared at him. “Sir, I never knew you.”
Mr. Darcy chuckled. “You will soon know me very well, my darling.”
His gaze lingered on her face. “Your cheeks are quite flushed, Elizabeth.”
He held her close against him, and neither moved apart.
At last, she said, “Sir, there is too much sorcery in this place today. We should return before we lose all sense of propriety.”
Darcy released her reluctantly, then held out his hand. She placed hers in it, and they started back.
“I want Aunt Maddie and Uncle Edward here,” Elizabeth said, “and Jane, if she can come. Beyond that, I have no desire for a large wedding.”
“Nor have I. I will send for Richard, for I wish him to stand up with me. I will send the expresses of invitation today.”
Elizabeth slipped her hand more securely through his arm.
As they continued toward the path, Darcy spoke of Pemberley and the places he wanted to show her. There were paths beside the river, the hills above the house, and a rose garden where he thought she would like to read.
“You will fall in love with my library, Elizabeth.”
He covered the hand resting on his arm with his own. “I can see you there among my books. I can see you in my home, sharing my life.”
Elizabeth rested her head briefly against his shoulder. “I can hardly wait to begin our life together, Fitzwilliam.”
When they reached Ashcroft, Darcy brought her hand to his lips before releasing it.
“I shall return later this morning.”
He kissed her hand once more and left for Pemberley.
* * *
When he and Georgiana arrived later that morning, Elizabeth was in the drawing room with the Radcliffs. Georgiana came directly to her.
“Lizzy!”
Elizabeth rose, and Georgiana embraced her.
“Fitzwilliam told me. You are going to be my sister.”
“I am.”
Georgiana hugged her again.
Mrs. Radcliff came to Elizabeth and embraced her. “My dear, I am so happy for you.”
“Thank you, ma’am.”
“Maddie must be sent for.”
“Yes, Mr. Darcy has already sent an express to Gracechurch Street.”
Mr. Radcliff crossed to Darcy and shook his hand before ordering champagne for a toast.
Dr. Wynn joined them soon afterward. He offered Darcy his hand, then kissed Elizabeth’s cheek.
“I wish you both every happiness.”
When the Darcys rose to leave, the Radcliffs invited them to return for dinner.
“Thank you, ma’am. We shall be here.”
Elizabeth accompanied them to the entrance.
Georgiana embraced her once more before going out to the carriage.
Darcy stayed beside Elizabeth.
He took her hand and kissed it. “Until this evening, my darling.”