Chapter 14
14
Leaving her room later that evening, Kate felt like a baby deer, navigating her way down the hallway on her new limbs. The contents of the second dress bag and shoe box scared her more than the first, and it had taken her ages to will herself to get ready. Cooper had told her that afternoon to be ready for 7p.m., but she hadn’t spoken to him since, and it was ten past seven now. The dress she was wearing was exquisite, with a designer tag that had made Kate blush. It was a deep, midnight blue, cut from layers of silk that clung to her form. Kate was grateful that she hadn’t quite gone to seed since being there. It felt amazing against her skin, and she had even managed to dig out half-decent underwear from her meagre belongings. The dress was strapless, but fitted around her chest perfectly, not showing too much of her ample bosom, and the long skirt swished as she walked to the main doors.
Jamie was having a pizza and movie night with Rita, who stayed on site some nights to save herself the long commute. Kate wondered what her son would make of her dressed like this. She stumbled on her heels as she thought of what Cooper might say when she saw her, but she reached for the railing, steadying herself. Lifting her dress slightly, she frowned at her shoes. They were stilettos, the same shade of blue as her dress, encrusted with intricate crystals around the sides. She rubbed at her heel, unaccustomed to wearing such nice things. She righted herself, and half-jogged, half-limped to the main entrance as the clock on the corridor struck quarter past. She was never late, and she found herself anxious to see Cooper again. And then she saw him and her heart screeched to a halt, her breath seizing in her throat.
He was in his chair, sitting sideways on to her, looking towards the outside at the waiting minibus. He was wearing a navy-blue suit, the white shirt bringing out the green in his eyes. His hair was freshly washed, cut into a fashionable style. It suited him, and Kate found herself wanting to touch it. She flexed her hands in reflex, tightening them around the tiny matching clutch she held, containing some money, a lippie and her phone, in case Jamie needed her. She looked again at Cooper, and locked onto his green eyes. She smiled, butterflies exploding in her stomach, and made to walk to him quicker, but his expression made her falter. He looked furious, anger evident in the set of his jaw and the flash of his eyes. He was trying to hide it, she could tell, and he eventually relaxed a fraction, returning a slight smile. She felt his eyes take her in, and saw his expression change again. She knew just what he was thinking now, and she tried to mask her own reaction of confusion. The want in his eyes was evident, and even though she didn’t understand his mood, she took a little satisfaction from the fact that he obviously approved of her outfit.
‘You’re late,’ he growled, nodding his head towards the waiting minibus.
‘I’m sorry, not used to heels,’ she replied sadly. She had hoped that they were finally getting somewhere, but she could see that the carefree man of this afternoon was gone again. She walked closer to him, and he didn’t look at her, focusing intently on the doors.
‘I’m sorry,’ she ventured again, but he just shook his head.
‘Doesn’t matter,’ he retorted gruffly.
They walked awkwardly towards the doors, and as she opened the doors wide for him, she noticed he had two legs. Two . He looked like a different person, just for a moment. She resisted the urge to squeal at him, and composed herself as he came past. He was wearing his prosthetic. As he settled himself into the minibus, the driver packing up his chair, she sat next to him gingerly. He didn’t look at her, focusing instead on the view outside the window. She glanced at his feet, encased in matching black dress shoes, and wondered how he would look, stood up in his smart clothes. She felt a pang as she thought of him out in the world; walking, running, dating, living his life before serving his country had torn it apart. What sort of man was he, before? She caught the odd glimpse, the cheeky humour, the daredevil streak, but that was all choked now, wrapped in tendrils of anger.
It was getting dark, fetching shades of crimson and orange splashed across the sky against the remnants of the paler hue of the dying blue horizon. She clenched her fist and braved another look at him as they pulled away. His head turned quickly, his jaw tensing as he stared out of the window. Had he been watching her? His jaw twitched as if in response to her unspoken question.
‘Are you at least going to tell me where we’re going, all dressed up?’ she asked, her words clipped. He flinched at her tone, and turning to look at her, the look in his eyes made the blood in her veins freeze. It was a look of pure pain, anger. She didn’t know whether to hug him or run for the hills screaming. ‘Cooper, what on earth is the matter?’
His lip curled in disgust. ‘Boyfriend not tell you about the party?’
She frowned, the confusion on her face evident. ‘What boyfriend?’
He didn’t answer, his green eyes seemingly pleading with her to tell him something. She just didn’t understand what. She could feel her face redden, and hot tears sting her eyes. The first night out in forever, and she was sat all dressed up, not wanting to cry in front of this beautiful, broken man. A single tear escaped as she bit her lips, and she wiped it away quickly. The driver kept going, seemingly oblivious to the angry exchange in the back. Cooper’s expression softened, and he pursed his lips, blowing out a frustrated breath.
‘Kate, for God’s sake…’
‘I don’t understand why you’re angry with me!’ she cried, her voice quivering from the effort of reining in her emotions. Had Jamie talked to him about his dad? His wording had confused her. ‘Neil has nothing to do with you!’
Cooper’s jaw dropped. ‘Who the hell is Neil?’
‘My husband! He’s not in the picture any more, and I don’t want to talk about it! Who told you, anyway?’
Cooper looked stricken. ‘You’re still married?’ It came out more like a deflated statement than a question.
‘No, of course not. We haven’t been together since I left for Iraq. He moved out the night of the… the night I got back. I haven’t seen him since. The stupid bastard can’t be bothered to deal with all the shit he caused. He calls Jamie once a week, if that. So no, Cooper, my “boyfriend” didn’t tell me about any stupid party. And thanks for ruining a night I was really looking forward to.’ She let out a frustrated growl, covering her face with her hands.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said after an age. ‘I didn’t know about all that.’
She rounded on him. ‘No, because I didn’t tell anyone.’ Her eyes narrowed as she replayed his anger, his words. Boyfriend. ‘If you didn’t know, then what were you mad about?’
‘Nothing,’ he finally rumbled, turning back to the window. ‘It doesn’t matter.’
Cooper sat silently next to her for the rest of the journey. She sat there, shell-shocked till they stopped outside a fancy hotel. Kate recognised the place. She had been here before for conferences with work. They had a pretty impressive ballroom too. It would have been a nice place to visit with Cooper, but she knew the night was ruined now. She sat clutching her bag, staring intently at the back of the seat in front. She felt numb; she wanted to run but she didn’t trust her legs not to betray her. The driver got out, grabbing the chair from the back. He opened the passenger side, putting the chair in position. Kate went to move, but Cooper’s open hand covered hers, stopping her. He reached for his wallet, and pulling off a note, he talked to the driver in hushed tones. The driver shrugged good-naturedly and walked off towards the smoking hut, lighting up on his way to some service staff puffing away in the shelter.
‘Are we going back?’ she asked quietly, not trusting herself to look at him. He couldn’t even get out of the damn car.
‘What?’ his reply came, softer than before. ‘No, Kate, I would still like to go out, if you like. We’re here now.’ He sounded dejected.
Kate nodded, keeping her eyes focused forward. ‘Okay. But I don’t want to talk about Neil, okay? I’ve tried to get him to come and see Jamie. He speaks to him, but he won’t talk to me, okay. He blames me for the crash I think, as much as he blames himself. Our marriage was over long ago, before Iraq. Before all this.’
She felt Cooper relax at the side of her, and she allowed herself to breathe a little. She was kind of glad he knew. It was nice to speak the words out loud.
She felt his gaze on her and flushed. He was looking at her, but she didn’t want to see that look in his eyes again, so she didn’t chance it. Her heart couldn’t take it.
‘So now you’re with Trevor?’ he asked, his voice sounding as unsteady as she felt inside.
‘Trevor?’ she said, baffled. ‘No, of course not!’ She laughed a little, the random thought amusing her.
‘I saw you today.’
What? She thought back to the movement she’d seen when she’d hugged Trevor. Realisation dawned, and her head snapped to face him. ‘The hug? Oh no.’ Incredulous laughter tittered out of her at the thought. ‘I was just thanking him. He’s like a big brother to me, and I’ve been a bit of a mess with everything going on. Why didn’t you just ask me?’
‘What would I say?’ he asked, his words soft. ‘Nothing to do with me, is it?’ he added. ‘You’re a free woman. I thought that there might have been something between you, that’s all. I misread it.’ He swallowed. Hard. ‘I was jealous, actually.’
‘Of Trevor?’
‘I didn’t like his arms around you. I’m sorry for acting like an asshole. I don’t… talk about stuff like this. I never needed to talk about stuff like this, till I met you. You force me to think things I never have before. Feel things.’ His jaw clenched.
‘Well, you called it wrong, Captain,’ she squeezed his hand. ‘My marriage was over a long time ago, and Trevor’s like family. We’ve worked together forever.’ Her lips quirked. ‘You were jealous.’
‘Yep,’ he huffed. ‘I know I’ve no right to be, but I feel like I know you.’
She was about to answer him when he brought his hands up to her face slowly, stroking her cheeks with the backs of his hands. His touch did something to her, fired her up and soothed something in her at the same time.
‘I keep wondering to myself,’ he said breathily. ‘If I tried to kiss you, would you let me?’ His fingers moved to her neck, her collarbone. Each stroke was delicious, and she felt it everywhere.
Her breath was coming out in little gasps now, and she felt embarrassed about how turned on she was. A minute ago, she wanted to slap him, and now…
‘Sir, is everything okay?’ The driver was standing there, looking uncomfortable. They looked at each other, Cooper taking one last look at her lips before pulling away, releasing her.
‘We’re fine, and great timing, seriously.’
The driver chuckled. Cooper positioned himself in his chair, and held out his hand.
‘Shall we?’ he enquired. Kate noticed that he looked visibly rattled, and she knew that she felt the same. It gave her a thrill to know that she undid him, too. She put her hand in his, and the smile he flashed her felt like a lightning bolt through her body. She blushed, smiling back, and they started to head inside.
Having survived most of dinner with small talk about the food, the room, and the other guests, they were just waiting for dessert when Kate felt his eyes watching her across the table. The dining room was opulent to say the least, all chandeliers, white linen tablecloths and hushed music coming from the piano being played in the corner. Cooper had booked a table near the terrace, and the huge patio doors opened out in front of them, bringing with it a hint of honeysuckle from the foliage outside. The breeze occasionally brushed up her arms, and she could feel them tingling from the touch, as though Cooper himself were touching her with his gaze. The heat from their earlier exchange was still there, a little awkward. Like they’d slipped past what they were into something else. A thing that neither of them could identify. He was jealous, thinking Trevor was more to her. Hadn’t baulked at her Neil confession. He took all of her baggage in his stride, and she wondered what it would take to truly rattle a man like this. She picked up her wine glass and took a long sip, looking over at him. He was still watching her, a look of pure intensity. Swallowing hard, she felt her face flush and inwardly cringed at her body’s reaction to him.
‘What’s wrong?’ he asked, his lips curling into a devilish smile. ‘Feeling a little hot?’ She grinned back at him and cracked up laughing. He laughed with her, and the tension around the table seemed to pop. He wiped his hand down his stubble, neatly trimmed now, and grinned at her.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said simply. ‘It’s been a weird day, I know.’
She tipped her head in agreement, and they both ignored the waiter as he put down their desserts. The waiter smirked at them both and returned to his station. ‘Third date, sweaty sex later,’ he said out of the corner of his mouth to his waitress friend.
She looked over at the couple. ‘Yep, that’s rip-my-clothes-off-right-now tension right there.’
Back at the table, Kate took another large gulp of her wine. She felt it relax her, tingle her hard edges a little. ‘It has been, very strange, and a big step forward for both of us, I think.’
Cooper drank from his glass, swirling the contents around in a slow circle. ‘How long were you and Neil together?’
‘One of your questions?’ she asked, brow raised. ‘Coming up to ten years. Ten years too long really. Neil and I were never exactly love’s young dream.’
‘Well, if he gives you or Jamie any grief, send him to me,’ he said, his voice low. Kate sensed the change in his voice and narrowed her eyes.
‘Why, do you think I need protecting?’ she challenged, licking a remnant of chocolate off her spoon.
Cooper cleared his throat before answering, and she couldn’t help but revel in how she affected him.
‘No, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t get the urge to look after you.’
Her eyes went wide at his words. Cooper even seem surprised at his own outburst momentarily, but his resolve hardened and he locked eyes with her once more. ‘I know we have our own stuff to deal with, but I’m pretty much done trying to stay mad at you, Kate.’
‘About time,’ she replied. ‘I don’t want to fight with you either.’
‘Oh, I like the fighting, Missy,’ he said, his lip curling up, flashing his pearly teeth. ‘I just want to explore the making up too. This place? There’s an event here for my unit, among others. Some charity thing I agreed to before… well they decided to dedicate an award to someone I knew. I want you to come with me, as my date.’ He hadn’t taken his eyes off her, and she sat, spoon in hand, mouth open in surprise.
‘I’m flattered,’ she said softly. She’d loved to see him with his men. Hightower had almost broken down the tent to get to him that day. They obviously loved and respected him. It would be good to see that. Good for him, too. Cooper pursed his lips, looking away, but she reached for his hand across the table. Taking his fingers in her own, she brought them to her lips, dropping a gentle kiss on his knuckles. Her cool breath made the hairs on his arm stand on end. ‘I would love to come with you.’
They smiled at each other then, and as she went to release his hand, he gripped it tightly. He motioned to the waiter with the other. He came over, casting a sly glance at his colleague as he sauntered across the room.
‘Just the bill please,’ Cooper commanded. ‘And another bottle to go.’