Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
Emma sat in the hard plastic chair, gnawing on her thumbnail.
Fluorescent lights buzzed overhead, and the pungent scent of disinfectant drifted up from the surface of the hard table.
She’d cleared three checkpoints, had her ID thoroughly analyzed, and then a female corrections officer had patted her down.
Still, nothing had prepared her for this—waiting in the visitors’ area of a federal prison in Oregon to see her dad for the first time in fifteen years.
The room could not have been more unappealing.
Warm, dry air flowed from a vent overhead.
A lifeless shade of olive green had been painted on the walls, and she felt like the security cameras were trained right on her.
The vending machine glowed in the corner.
Its bright, familiar light advertising a popular soft drink didn’t bring her much comfort though.
She rubbed her clammy palms on her jeans.
A million questions scrolled through her head, tangled up with thoughts of Luke.
Oh, sweet Luke. What was she going to do? What was she going to say? Would he even talk to her?
A buzzer interrupted her thoughts, then a lock clanked, and the metal door swung open.
Her pulse sped as a guard stepped through—a very large, broad-shouldered, muscular man with a buzz cut and piercing brown eyes.
Then a man in a khaki uniform and prison-issued shoes came into the room.
His red hair had faded to a straw color and thinned on top.
He’d lost quite a bit of weight, but those eyes—hazel and bright, searching the room until they landed on her—hadn’t changed.
“Dad,” she whispered.
He stopped short. Something she couldn’t quite identify flickered across his face. Disbelief? Joy?
“Emma,” he said, then cleared his throat and glanced toward the guard.
“Fifteen minutes,” the guard said. Then he hesitated, reached over, and undid the handcuffs. “Y’all can hug if you’d like.”
Emma stood, hesitated, then darted around the end of the table and into her father’s open arms. He smelled like soap and probably some kind of industrial laundry detergent.
His hug was tight, and his body trembled.
She couldn’t erase the past with one hug, but she wasn’t going to withhold affection. He certainly didn’t deserve that.
“I didn’t think you’d come,” he said, his voice rough.
“I wish I’d come sooner,” she said, pulling away. “I’m so sorry that I waited this long.”
He tilted his head to one side. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” Then he motioned to the chairs and sat slowly, his joints cracking. “You look just like your mother.”
“Oof.” She claimed the chair across from his on the other side of the table. “That’s not really a compliment, Dad.”
His expression sobered. “No, I suppose not.”
The guard lingered by the door, but he wasn’t hovering. Emma leaned forward, clasped her hands in front of her.
“I need the truth—all of it. Mom always blamed you, said you were greedy. Said that’s why we had to leave Redemption, and that you’re the reason our lives fell apart. But lately I’ve heard a different story. Did she really do it—and you took the blame?”
Her father sighed. “I wondered when this day would come.”
“I’m thirty-three years old, Dad. Not a kid. I need to know.”
He looked down, rubbing the pad of one thumb over the knuckle of the other.
“It’s true. Your mother transferred the funds.
She rerouted all the money we’d collected in donations for the cannery.
I found out about it by accident really, but by then it was too late.
People were suspicious—especially when she convinced me to take that anniversary trip to the Cayman Islands. ”
Emma nodded. “I remember.”
“Yeah. Well, that’s kind of like…not okay.”
“Sort of like a Kickstarter gone wrong.”
Dad grimaced. “Pretty much. Then she said she couldn’t go to prison and insisted you needed her.”
Emma gritted her teeth. “But I needed you.”
“I know.” He nodded. “And I really thought I’d be back sooner. My lawyer was supposed to get me a reduced sentence if I pled guilty, but wire fraud’s a federal crime. I got slammed. Twenty years minimum.”
“And parole denied.” She blinked back tears. “Why haven’t you fought back?”
“Against your mother?” He lifted one shoulder.
“With what resources? Besides, I thought I was protecting you. I’m already here.
I didn’t want you to lose a second parent.
Your mother…what she did was wrong, but I hoped somehow she would give you a normal life.
Besides, you were so angry with me, and so if I disappeared, I thought you’d be better off. ”
“No.” She swiped at the moisture on her cheeks. “I was never better off.”
He reached across the table, tentative, and clasped her hand between both of his.
“Emma, believe me, I’ve been over every decision, every detail for the last eighteen years. But I loved her, and I loved you too. We made mistakes—big ones—but I never meant to destroy your life.”
“No, I think that’s on her,” Emma whispered.
He shook his head. “Don’t let the bitterness take root, sweetheart.
That’s what the enemy wants. To plant that doubt, to use your hurt and twist it till it spreads.
Chokes out everything good. Believe me, I’ve seen plenty of men pass through here who are so full of hate and bitterness and resentment. ”
She drew a wobbly breath. “I wanted to believe you weren’t guilty. The man who taught me how to catch a fish, fillet it, but also held my hand and sat in the front row at my first piano recital…I didn’t want to believe that you could have been that selfish.”
“I’m not selfish. At least I don’t think I am.
To be honest, I wanted to help the people of Redemption.
I believed in that cannery. We were going to change lives—create jobs, put food on the table for a lot of families.
It never occurred to me to check up on what your mom was doing.
I trusted her more than I should have, but I had no reason to suspect she was up to no good. ”
Emma nodded. “Relatable.”
His brows arched. “Say more.”
“Well, I was engaged to a man who…he wasn’t who I thought. He lied, cheated, begged me to come back, and so I did. But it’s not going to work out.”
His expression softened. “What next?”
“You might not be thrilled to hear this, but…Luke McGuire. From Redemption. He’s a good man, Dad. One of the best I’ve ever known. But I pushed him away because I chose the cheater. And now I’m so ashamed. I don’t know how to make it right.”
“Maybe now is an opportunity to take a step toward healing. Start with the truth.”
She looked down. “I just want to stop running, you know? Some part of me has been bracing for impact ever since our family unraveled, and I just have this constant fear. I’m always looking over my shoulder.”
“Well, I’d say you’re normal. Can I tell you what the Bible says?”
She nodded.
“The truth will set you free.”
She gave him a look, then gestured around the room. “Really?”
“Maybe not in a literal sense. I’m talking about your heart. I’ve clung to that verse all these years. And even though I’m not free yet…you have come to see me. You’re speaking to me. And that’s an answered prayer, Emma. Can you forgive me? For not being the dad you needed me to be?”
She blinked back a fresh wave of tears. “Yes. Of course. You’re easy to forgive, Dad. It’s Mom that I have trouble with.”
“I understand. Your quick response is more than I deserve. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” She squeezed his hand. “I want to stop being afraid of being hurt. I want to be someone who loves freely and trusts.”
“Then don’t let fear have the wheel. Rest in God’s love and His promises. I know it sounds cheesy, but it’s the only thing that’s true.”
“Do you think it’s too late with Luke?”
“Do you love him?”
She nodded.
“Then go tell him. Hang on to the ones who love you. That’s the whole point, Emma.” He grinned. “So tell me about him. This is the same Luke that was crazy about you back in the day, right?”
She laughed. “Yes. He’s still just as stubborn. Loyal too. He’s helping his family run the resort. He’s good, Dad. He takes care of people. Always trying to fix things, even when they’re not his to fix.”
“Sounds like he’s turned into a pretty incredible guy.”
“I think you’d like him. He believed in me—even in us. I wish I’d seen what he saw.”
“Go make it right. And don’t wait eighteen more years.”
She stood slowly, came around the table, and wrapped her arms around him again.
“I’ve missed you.”
“Oh, you have no idea how much I’ve missed you, sweetheart. Every single day.”
The guard cleared his throat. “Time’s up, folks.”
Emma pulled back slowly. “I’ll come again. I promise.”
“That’s all I needed to hear.” He squeezed her arm. “I love you, Emma.”
“I love you too, Dad.”
She turned and walked from the room, her steps a little lighter. She still had miles to go, but this time she knew exactly where she was headed and who she needed to see.
That was the most miserable flight of his life.
Luke stepped out of the airport in Boston and nearly turned around to go right back in. A cold rain fell from a drab gray sky, landing like BBs and bouncing off vehicles, the pavement, and the sea of umbrellas shielding the pedestrians streaming into the terminal.
He squinted in the mist, trying to get his bearings. The cab line snaked around the corner, and people barked into their phones as they hurried past him.
“What in the world? Slow down, people,” he grumbled, pulling his phone from his pocket.
He backed inside the double doors and set his duffel at his feet.
At least this space offered protection from the rain.
Fatigue made his brain foggy. He scrolled through the apps on his phone, then opened Uber to request a ride.
“Sheesh, these rates are ridiculous.” He closed out of the app, then shoved his phone back inside his parka. “Cab it is.”