18
Alarie
“Come home with me for a few days,” Cass implored. He kissed my lips and then my neck, and I felt myself softening to whatever he wanted.
“I don’t know, Cass,” I replied reluctantly, trying very hard to think of reasons to get out of the trip and not be distracted by the line of kisses he made down my neck.
“Come on, Mand. Don’t be that way. It’ll be fun.” His lips lingered on my skin with a promise of better things to come.
I seriously doubted that going back home for the first time in a year would be fun. But I had not been home since I had come to the High Court, and I couldn’t just avoid it forever. At the very least, I needed to go and check in on my mom. The thought came with a pang in my stomach.
“What about my training?” I asked, proud that I had managed not to let him fully distract me.
I had relayed to Cass how frustrating my first day of “training” with the Prince had gone, leaving out a couple of details, of course. Cass had not joined me in lambasting my infuriating new trainer. Cass respected the sanctity of the order of command too much to openly criticize the Prince for what he viewed as minor squabbles. But there was a coolness to his respect for the Prince, bordering on iciness. Cass hadn’t quite gotten over the Prince ripping me away from House Dumont.
“What? You don’t get days off now that you work for the Prince?” Cass asked skeptically.
He was thinking that I was using my change in work as an excuse to get out of going home. And he wasn’t entirely wrong. I pursed my lips in contemplation. It wasn’t like the Prince and I had discussed a schedule for my training.
“You can send the Prince a note letting him know you guys can pick up your training when you get back in a couple of days,” Cass suggested.
He could see my resolve weakening.
“I want you to be there when my dad sees my wings for the first time, Mandy. And we can go to the beach,” he bribed, all but sealing the deal.
“Okay,” I capitulated.
“Great! Now go pack. The carriage is already on its way!” he said.
“Cass!” I exclaimed. “What would you have done if I would have said no?”
He wagged his eyebrows at me. “I can be very persuasive.”
He swept me into his muscled arms, dipping me back and kissing me firmly on mouth, before righting me.
“Now go pack,” he said, patting me on the ass and pushing me toward my room.
* * * *
My heart palpitated as we rode into town. Everything looked exactly the same as I had left it, but somehow it felt small and foreign now. The small town of Harborview lacked the tall buildings and spires that pervaded the Vlaise skyline.
“Home, sweet home,” Cass said, and he meant it.
He squeezed the big arm he had wrapped around me, beaming with a big smile. Although my feelings about coming home were mixed, I couldn’t help but smile at Cass’s happiness. He loved our hometown and was always happy to visit with his father.
His father, Troy, was already outside in the yard when we pulled in front of the small, white brick home Cass had grown up in. Cass hopped out of the carriage and turned, offering his hand for me to step out. At the same time, he called his wings, allowing them to appear and expand. I looked over the side of one of his wings to see Troy approaching, his matching wings out, with a beaming smile.
“Pop,” Cass greeted his father.
I knew his large onyx wings, which had white-tipped feathers dispersed throughout, were soft to the touch. When Cass was surrounded by his wings, he seemed larger than life. I could see the glimmer in Troy’s eyes as he took in his son with wings that matched his own. Cass embraced his father, their huge wings shifting naturally with the rest of their bodies. I took a step back, allowing them to have their moment.
Troy discreetly wiped a single tear from the corner of his eye.
“Mandy, come give an old man a hug,” Troy said, directing his attention toward me standing a few feet back watching the interaction.
“Thanks for giving my boy his wings,” he whispered in my ear before pulling away from our hug.
Cass clapped his father on the back, and the three of us made our way into the house.
“You stop by and see your mother’s new place yet?” Troy asked conversationally.
The guilt that seemed to be perpetually associated with my life back home began to rise in me. I had no idea my mother had a new house. How? With what money?
Troy’s friendly gaze turned unsure as my guilt ate at me, keeping me from answering his question.
“No, we came straight here,” Cass replied, saving me. “But we’ll stop by later,” he continued, wrapping his arm around my waist.
“Anyway, it’s good to have you home. Both of you,” Troy said.
“Wanna go to the beach for a little bit and then we’ll stop by your mom’s?” Cass asked.
“Yeah, that works,” I said. I was excited about the beach, at least.
“Good. Jase and some of the boys are going to meet us down at the Bluff,” Cass said.
Cass wrapped me in his arms and flew us to the beachfront. It was a view unlike anything I had ever seen before, taking in the white sand and the blue water with whitecaps from above. We landed in the middle of a group of guys singing at the top of their lungs. Cass joined in the minute his feet touched the ground.
“The baddest man in the whole damn town,” he bellowed, setting me down and only stopping his singing for a moment to kiss me on the top of my head before starting back up.
He jumped into the air for a frisbee. There were cries of cheating.
“I don’t need my wings to punk your sorry asses,” Cass japed, tossing the disc to our friend, Jase.
“Mandy, heads up,” Jase called out seconds before throwing the disc my way.
It was like I had never left. It had been a long time since I had even thought about Jase or Wes or any of the guys I used to hang out with before leaving for the High Court—except for Cass. But they treated me just like before, like one of the guys. Wes tossed me a beer.
“I’m three deep already. Catch up, Mandy,” he challenged.
I opened the beer as a smile creeped onto my face. I looked out into the ocean, its waves peaking then crashing against the coast. I took a sip of the beer, closing my eyes, and turning my face up toward the sun, then inhaled the salty sea air.
“Told you people missed you here,” Cass said, moving behind me and wrapping his arm around my waist.
He swayed in tune with the song playing in the background. Wes was bellowing the lyrics out purposefully loud and out of tune, and everyone was laughing. I turned my face up to Cass’s, seeing his smile touch his eyes. I saw love in his eyes, and in that moment, it felt like falling in love might be an easy thing to do. He leaned his head down to mine, planting a soft kiss on my lips.
* * * *
With sun-kissed skin and the beach still in our hair, we made our way to my mother’s new house. Cass’s dad gave us directions. The house was a significant upgrade from the tiny home I had grown up in. It even had a second floor. Cass threw his arm around me and rapped his knuckles on the front door.
“Hello!” an overly cheerful man answered the door.
“Uh…” I stammered, confused, wondering if we were at the right place.
But then I heard my mother’s voice from the other room.
“Jim, tell them I’ll be right there. Just pulling the rolls out of the oven,” I heard my mother call.
“Come on in, Cass, Mandy,” the man, apparently named Jim, said.
Cass and I exchanged bemused expressions as we moved into the house. My mom walked up to us, smiling.
“Cass, looking handsome as ever.” She greeted him in the way a proud mother would. Then she folded me into a hug. “Welcome home, Mandy.”
I was lost for words. My mother was dating? And smiling? And hugging?
“Ms. Armand, nice house you have here!” Cass jumped in before my lack of words got too awkward.
“Thanks, Cass. We just moved in a couple of months ago. Jim and I—This is Jim,” she offered for the first time.
It was a little late for introductions, but I shook Jim’s hand and offered him a friendly smile.
“Too bad I didn’t have my magic helper in the kitchen with me when I was baking the bread,” my mother said.
My mother had always said her food came out better when I was in the kitchen helping. I was under no illusion. It was clearly an attempt to get me to take an interest in cooking, something I had never shown any interest or aptitude in.
The entire night felt surreal. I wanted to be happy for my mother, who seemed to be happier than I had ever seen her. But it was hard. Was I such a burden to raise? Was my mother happy I was gone? I had always known my mother loved me. But it would have been nice to have grown up with whoever this woman was.
I wandered out to the backyard after dinner. My mother followed me out.
“It’s nice, huh?” my mother asked, meaning the new house.
“Yeah, very nice,” I responded, trying not to let my feelings seep through.
“It’s all because of you, you know,” my mother said.
“What is, Mom?” I asked.
“The house. Those equities you sent home shortly after you left for the High Court. They matured so nicely and so quickly, I found myself able to afford this house in months. And then it kind of gave me a new perspective in life. I started dating Jim…” she trailed off.
I stood stock-still, trying to swallow the lump in my throat. I had never sent my mother any equities. But as soon as she had said it, I knew who had. I wondered if I would ever, in all my immortal years, outlive the generosity Jay had bestowed upon me, so much of it without my asking or even knowing.
“I’m sorry, Mandy,” my mother said, misunderstanding my reaction.
I turned to my mom. I really did not want to have this conversation. This was part of the reason I had been avoiding coming home for so long.
“I’m glad you’re happy, Mom,” I replied, making my way back toward the door into the house.
I meant it. I was happy that my mother was happy.
“And you’re happy too?” my mom questioned, hopefully.
I looked through the glass pane of the back door and saw Cass politely nodding his head like whatever Jim was telling him was the most interesting thing he had heard all day. I loved how kind Cass’s heart was.
“Yeah,” I replied simply. “I am.”
I reached for the door handle.
“I did what I thought was best for you, you know,” my mother blurted.
I rested my hand on the doorknob. I took a deep breath and then sighed and turned back to my small, beautiful mother, her fiery red hair standing out in the dark of the night.
“I know you did, Mom,” I said.
“I’m so proud of you, Mandy. I just knew that you were made from a different mold and were destined for things bigger and better than anything Harborview could offer you,” my mother explained.
“Cass is from Harborview,” I retorted.
Maybe if I had liked home a little bit more, we both would have stayed in town, and we would have been together this entire time. Maybe I wouldn’t have had to be alone all those years. And Cass wouldn’t be leading a damn war.
“And I am so happy you two found your way back to each other. I always thought you two would be cute together,” my mother said.
And before I could think of something to say or go into the house, my mother added, “I just didn’t want you to get too comfortable here. And look at you now.” Like that justified everything I had gone through in my life.
I had never been comfortable in Harborview. There wasn’t much in my childhood that could be described in terms of comfort. I was raised to believe that comfort was a four-letter word associated with bad feelings of being trapped and settling for less. But my mother was right. Whatever she did, it drove me to leave Harborview, and I was doing pretty well for myself.
“So, Jim’s a funny guy,” I said, changing the subject.
I gave my mother a smile, letting her know that we were good. My mother had done the best she could raising me. I had to believe that.