34
Alarie
“The prophecy? What prophecy, Nik?” This was growing more surreal by the minute.
“Let’s have a drink,” he suggested.
“Nik! What prophecy?” I almost yelled. I took deep calming breaths to try to stay the panic rising in my chest.
“Princess, I’m going to tell you. But, you know, you aren’t the only one who has something going on tonight. I’ve waited twenty-four years for you. Twenty-four years of having to go through that process and people thinking what they think and hating me for it.”
He was right. I thought about how Luke and almost every single other man in the Kingdom felt about the Choosing and Nik.
“But at least that part is over now. So let’s have a gods damned drink,” he said.
Usually so unflappable, Nik’s momentary transparency pulled me out of my own head.
“A drink would be nice,” I replied simply and grabbed his hand, so used to him traveling us to our next location.
“We can walk,” he said, but he didn’t let go of my hand.
Instead, he led me through his bedroom. His bedroom was smooth and dark and enticing, just like his demeanor. He dropped my hand as we crossed the threshold of an adjacent room I’d never been in before. The sitting room shared the balcony that was attached to his bedroom and had a small bar in the corner.
“I’ll take a scotch—”
“With a twist of lemon. Yes, princess, I know,” he interjected.
I opened my mouth to say something and then closed it, bemused. I needed a drink.
We didn’t speak as he made our drinks. I plopped down onto a camel-colored leather lounge, deciding to kick my heels off. I decided to further make myself at home by propping my feet up on the coffee table. My gown was long, and the weight of it pulled its length to the floor, exposing my legs.
Nik came over to me, handing me my drink before he sat next to me. He took a sip of the glass of dark liquor he’d made himself, eyeing my casual demeanor with amusement, but he didn’t break the silence.
I took a sip of my scotch, letting it roll over my tongue before swallowing, and then, despite my extensive education on the significance of silence, I spoke first.
“The prophecy—”
“Is known to few,” he interjected.
“It’s real?” I asked skeptically. I’d heard of such powers, but it seemed like something made up or exaggerated.
“Rarely. But in this instance…” he paused, enjoying another taste of his drink. “It is very real.”
“How do you know?” I asked.
“I have lived by it, princess. Do I strike you as a frivolous man? One overtaken by the whims of others?” he asked.
His thick, dark brows were furrowed into an intense, challenging stare.
“No,” I admitted quietly.
Another minute passed in silence.
“What does this prophecy say?” I asked.
I almost expected him to pull some old tomb out of his invisible closet of darkness and start reading. But he didn’t. He began to recite the prophecy from memory.
“She will be of high fae and lesser fae, of north and south, and of light and darkness. She alone shall have the power to save the magic. But her star will fade and the magic of all along with her unless she is found in her twenty-fourth year by he who shall be King, the first of his name of mixed birth. His mark upon her and her magic shall give her the strength to save the lives and magic of all…” he recited, trailing off.
“Is that all of it? Say it again. Please,” I asked intently.
He obliged, repeating the words once more in the same calm cadence.
“But, Nik, how could you possibly think that is me? I’m a mixed fae. But north and south? I don’t know what that means, but I’m not from the north. I’ve never had anything to do with the north. And I won’t even get into the light and darkness part. No one can have powers of light and darkness, Nik.”
Except maybe the King of Alancia, according to Jay.
“How do you know you aren’t from the north?” he asked, clearly placating me.
“I think I’d know if I’d lived in the north before.”
“Your mother was raised south of the border wall?” he asked.
“Yes, her entire life,” I said, relieved he was beginning to understand.
“And your father?” When he asked this question, it was equally clear that he was challenging me.
“He was from south of the border wall as well,” I responded over confidently.
He quirked an eyebrow at me. “And you know that for certain, princess?”
* * * *
My mother answered her door on the second knock. Her fiery red hair shone brightly in the light of her foyer.
“Mandy love,” she greeted me with her new bubbly personality, the one that couldn’t be further from who I grew up with.
“Hi, Mom,” I said resigned.
My mother eyed Nik suspiciously.
“Why are you so dressed up?” she asked, taking in the full-length silken gown I still wore from the Choosing. “Where’s Cass?” she asked loyally.
“Mom, please. I’ve had such a long day already. Can we just get inside?” I pleaded.
We stepped through the front door, and my mother pointed us toward the living room. She went to the kitchen, grabbed a pitcher of freshly made lemonade, then handed glasses to Nik and me. She filled Nik’s glass first, continuing to eye him with open suspicion.
I inhaled a deep breath, preparing myself.
“Mom, this is Nik. Prince Nikolas Heroux,” I said.
She spilled a little lemonade on Nik’s pants.
“It’s fine,” he assured her, wiping it off.
My mother quickly regained her composure. “Welcome to my home, my Prince. And what brings you two to my door this evening?” she asked coolly.
“Ms. Armand, I think it’s best that Alarie here does the talking for us. In fact”—he looked around—“do you mind if I check out your garden?” he asked, already rising from the over-large recliner.
My mom shook her head, gesturing to the door to her backyard.
My eyes followed Nik’s large frame until he disappeared behind the door. He could have traveled out there. He could have traveled back to the M and just came back for me later. He was being surprisingly…normal.
“Well, Mandy, why is the Prince of Valencia wandering around in my backyard?” my mother asked in a tone that faintly reminded me of being scolded as a child.
I cut my eyes to the windows and saw Nik, the Prince of Darkness himself, eyeing my mother’s daisies with interest.
“Is Jim around?” I asked, not answering her question.
“No, he’s in town picking up a few things for us to have a late dinner. But he should be back in maybe thirty minutes or so,” she answered.
“Good, because I need to talk to you. I…” I hesitated. “I need to talk to you about my father.”
The new cheeriness of my mother’s personality drained away, replaced by the distant coolness I’d grown up with.
“There’s nothing to say about your father, Mand. He was here for a night and then he was gone. And that was a long time ago,” she said dismissively.
She finished filling my glass of lemonade and sat down across from me. I took a sip. It was good, tart and sweet but not too sweet.
“And he was a soldier?” I asked.
“Yes,” my mother responded, making it clear she was not going to facilitate this conversation in any way. “Mandy, why are you asking these questions?”
“It’s really important, Mom.”
Her eyes cut to the backyard, and I looked too. Nik leaned down and smelled a white hydrangea. It would have been hilarious to see the Prince of Darkness doing something so mundane, if not for the circumstances that brought us there.
“He was a soldier for Valencia, Mom?”
She looked at me analytically.
“Mom, for Valencia, right?” There was a note of pleading in my voice. “He wasn’t a soldier for the north. Mom, tell me he wasn’t from Alancia.”
“Your father was a good soldier and a good man, Mand. And he was a soldier…for Alancia.”
I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath and trying to swallow my heart, which had jumped into my throat. It was true. Everything Nik said was true.
My mother thought I was taking the news rather hard. She couldn’t understand the implication of what she had just confirmed.
“I wrote to him, you know. I told him I was pregnant and…” my mother paused, and I saw a rare showing of vulnerability on her pretty face. “And he wrote back. He promised he would come to us after the war and…” A single tear rolled down my mother’s cheek. “He was happy to start a family.” My mother gathered herself, resuming a stoic demeanor. “But then the wall went up, and I never heard from him again.”
“Why didn’t you tell me before, Mom?” I whispered.
“It was safer for you not to know, baby girl. Safer for both of us. When you were born, the sentiment toward Alancians was not friendly. Same as it is today, in fact. But why does this matter, Mand? Why are you asking this now with the Prince here?”
Nik traveled right next to my side. My mom jumped, startled by his sudden appearance. He reached his hand out to me.
“Did you find the answer you were looking for, princess?” he asked, already knowing the answer.
I nodded.
“We’ll talk later, Mom,” I said, rising from the couch.
I took Nik’s hand. He pulled me off the couch and into his body, and we disappeared from my mother’s sight. To my surprise, Nik took me back to my room at House Rein instead of back to the M.
When I saw my bed, I realized just how badly I wanted to crawl beneath the covers and sleep. I wanted to get lost in its comfort and wake up to only realize that this entire day had been one long, crazy dream. I was still wearing my gown from the Choosing ceremony and my heels. Without saying anything I walked over to the bench at the end of my bed and sat down. I kicked off my shoes and stared into the wall across from me.
After a while, Nik came and sat next to me. The bench was small, and his thigh touched mine. I was a little surprised to still find him there. We had been so silent for so long, I would have expected him to have traveled away.
I ran over the words of the prophecy over and over again in my head.
“Nik,” I finally said, breaking our silence.
“It’s you, Alarie,” he said, anticipating what I was going to say.
“But it can’t be. Even if I am mixed fae and am ‘of the north and south,’ there is still that last part. Whatever power I have, I do not have powers of both light and darkness,” I said.
All fae had some small amount of magic. That was why we were immortal… or were immortal. So, I knew I had some kind of magic. And I had to admit that I’ve exhibited some limited shielding abilities. Those powers would likely have a light-based affinity. But unparalleled powers of light and darkness known thus far only to the King of Alancia? I just couldn’t have that kind of power.
“You do, princess,” he replied, simply staring at the wall with me.
“You can’t know that,” I objected.
“But I do,” he said.
“How?” I whispered.
“You know your shielding ability is based in light. You should be able to feel it. But I can feel the powers of darkness lurking inside of you,” he replied.
“How can you feel what powers I have, Nik? That’s absurd,” I objected.
“Dark calls to dark, princess. And before you fight me on this, let me just ask you, how does my darkness feel to you? When I take you into the space between and you are consumed by my shadows, how does it feel?”
I thought about his question, tearing my eyes from the blank wall and looking over at him. His hair was rumpled from running his hands through it.
“Well, that one time, when I didn’t let you touch me, it felt turbulent. I felt like I couldn’t control what I was doing, and it made me feel a little shaken up,” I said.
He turned toward me and took my hand in his, rubbing his rough palm over the top of my smooth skin. His skin was more olive-toned than my golden hue.
“And when you let me touch you?” he pried.
His shadows of darkness began to creep out of the alcove of his body. Tendrils of black nothingness danced at our feet, moving up my legs. I closed my eyes, embracing the darkness enveloping me, and thought about how I felt.
“It feels…cool but not cold. Silent but comforting. Almost inviting, like it wants me to stay.” I thought of my bed again. I felt so drained. “I feel like I could pull a blanket of the shadows up to my chin and just sleep for hours,” I finished, opening my eyes.
We were surrounded by pitch black total darkness. His deep green eyes tethered my existence in the vast sea of nothingness.
“No one without powers of darkness would say what you just said. They could not feel the way you feel right now, princess.”
“And what if I say that I don’t care? That I don’t want to be a part of whatever this is with you anymore?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.
He dismissed the shadows surrounding us, and we were once again in my room. He dropped my hand and walked toward my balcony.
“It’s not just you that the prophecy is about. It’s me, too. I’m the King the prophecy foretold. I’m just as in this as you are,” he said.
I’d run the words of the prophecy through my head over and over again. I’d assumed, I guess without really realizing it, that the other part of the prophecy had been about Nik.
“Whatever you may feel, or not feel, about me, Alarie, it doesn’t matter. Because this isn’t about us. This is not about me, and this isn’t about you. This is about what prophecy has foretold will save our people and our magic from dying. Are you willing to turn your back on them? Are you willing to sit by and let everything we are fade into nothing?” he growled in his deep voice.
“Who else knows?” I asked quietly.
“Those on the High Council who did not already know were told about the prophecy before the Choosing,” he answered.
“Can no one else know?” I asked, trying to keep the pleading from my voice. I could already feel the loneliness of my destiny weighing on me.
“The fewer people who know, the better. The more they know, the more they are put at risk of being used by Vandros,” he said.
And then, as if he had predicted my next question, he said, “Cass cannot know.”
“Why?” I pushed. I could see the reason in keeping someone like my mother in the dark for her protection, but Cass didn’t need my protection. “He is Commander of the Northern Forces. He has sacrificed more for this war than perhaps any single person in this Kingdom has,” I said, defensively.
“My concern is not for the Commander’s loyalty to our cause. It is his loyalty to you that is the issue. He loves you. He loves you so much that there is no way he cannot let it taint his mission in this war, which, as you know, is vital. You are a tool in this war, Alarie. The most important one there is. Prophecy says you will save the magic and our people, and it is my duty to do whatever I need to do to make that happen.”
“It would be painful for…someone who cares for you to see you in such a light and would be perhaps impossible for someone like the Commander who loves you. I know already that he does not care for our training sessions, although he has said nothing. What do you think he would do if I needed you on the front lines of the battlefield with me? Do you think he would be able to prioritize anything above you?”
Nik’s words felt like he had raised his hand and slapped me on one cheek and then turned my face and slapped the other. Although I already knew it to be true, the reminder that the Prince viewed me as nothing more than a tool served as a reminder of how truly alone I would be in this mission.
And then there was the painstaking realization that Nik was right about Cass. Cass had not said the words yet, but I knew he loved me. And his love for me would taint his vision of what needed to be done as Commander. The stakes were too high. For Cass because he’d worked his entire life to become Commander. I would not let him jeopardize his future for me. And for all of Valencia, if Nik and I failed at our mission.
Nik left me with my thoughts, disappearing into his darkness once more.