Chapter 4
Thoughts of the future and of the past spin like a vortex. As I stare out the window in Ivan’s office, I try to hold onto a single thought, but each one slips from my grasp. Mostly, I can’t stop thinking about my mother.
Orla. A High Fae Princess…which makes Willa a High Fae Princess, too. A High Fae Princess who knew who my father was this whole time and chose not to tell me.
The urge to update Cally and Willa is pressing, especially Willa. I want to share all of this with Cally, but I need to ask Willa about my father and why she kept this from me.
I stand, hoping to track Ivan down. When he said he was going to find the Herd, all I felt was relief at the idea of having a few moments to myself.
I open the door to the hallway and walk straight into a wall.
Stumbling back, I note the same forest green and gold uniform from the guards stationed by the front staircase.
“Oh, I’m so sorry! I wasn’t expecting you to be standing there,” I say awkwardly. The guard turns and bows with a straight face. “Oh, please, that’s quite all right. There’s no need for that,” I say, my cheeks instantly warming.
He straightens and gives me a curt nod before stepping aside. I start to walk down the hallway before realizing I have no idea where I’m going. I turn back to ask for help and almost run into the guard again.
“Oh. Sorry. I thought my hearing was good, but you’re so quiet. Do you know where Ivan is?” I ask.
“No, the fault is mine, Your Highness,” he says sincerely. “Ivan is waiting for you in the library. He sent me to stand guard outside the door and bring you to him and the Herd once you were ready.”
I offer him a smile and ask, “Would you mind taking me there?”
“Absolutely, Your Highness. This way, please,” he says before turning in the opposite direction.
I hurry after him, my long legs struggling to keep up with him. “Please, enough with the ‘Your Highness.’ What’s your name? And what’s the Herd?”
“My name is William. The Herd is the formal name for the royal family’s trusted advisors.”
We come to a stop in front of a set of glass double doors. Through the glass, floor-to-ceiling bookshelves line the walls, stuffed with hardcover and leatherbound books. Ladders stretch to the tops of the shelves. The library itself is two stories tall and scattered with comfortable reading chairs.
Cally will be so jealous when she sees this.
A large wooden table sits in the center of the library, perfect for spreading out books and researching throughout the night. I’m already envisioning late nights at that table while I familiarize myself with the histories of each court.
I open the library doors. The wooden floors creak as I walk toward the back of the library, where an entire wall is missing.
The view of the forest is breathtaking, offering a sloping view down the mountain.
Plants are scattered throughout, making it feel like the library itself is an extension of the forest. I feel like I could pluck a book from any of the bookshelves and just step out into the forest.
Soft footsteps come from behind me, bringing me back to my reality and the task at hand. “Magnificent, isn’t it?” Ivan says.
I turn to face him, slowly nodding. “An understatement, but yes,” I respond.
“This was one of Etta’s favorite spots,” he says sadly.
“I can see why…How is this possible? What if it rains?” I ask, gesturing to the missing wall.
“You can’t tell, but there’s an invisible barrier that acts as a wall. It allows sound through, but it keeps the critters and the weather out.”
My jaw drops. Yeah, Cally will be absolutely green with envy.
He claps his hands together. “Well, are you ready to meet the Herd?”
“Can I say no?” I ask, smiling.
He returns the smile, but again, it doesn’t meet his eyes. He looks exhausted. “I wish. This way.”
He turns, and I follow. He leads us to a solid wooden door that blends in with the wall. He opens it to reveal two females and a male seated at a round table. As soon as the door opens, they immediately stand and bow.
I clear my throat. “Er—hello. Please…rise,” I stammer, feeling my face flush again. “I’m sorry, I’m not used to the bowing. Is that necessary?”
They all straighten. “That’s something you’ll have to get used to,” Ivan says, “It’s the most basic form of respect for a person of royalty. You should expect people to bow to you. If they don’t, that is a serious sign of disrespect. You’ll adjust, and you’ll learn how to respond appropriately.”
I understand what he’s saying, but I’m not sure if I’ll get used to it. At least not anytime soon.
Ivan gestures to the group of hybrids. “Mae, this is the Herd. We’re responsible for advising you.” He nods to a female with short ivory antlers poking through her thick red hair, which shocks me. Although I have antlers, I’ve never seen another female with antlers before. “This is Elle.”
Elle smiles softly, her amber eyes soft and warm.
Ivan motions toward the male next to her. “This is Luca. And on his other side is Holly.”
Luca is older, seeming to be Ivan’s age, so I assume he also served my father during his reign.
He’s tall and lean, just like Ivan. His antlers stand about six inches tall, standard for a male deer.
Bags are evident under his brown eyes, and his gray hair is disheveled, reminding me that they have just lost three people they worked with every day.
“I’m sorry for your loss. I didn’t know my father, but from what Ivan has told me, you all worked closely with him and his family.
I appreciate your service and your commitment to the throne,” I say, looking at each of them.
Honestly, I feel like it was the first thing I’ve done this entire day that felt like something a future queen would do. I stand a little taller.
A flicker of surprise passes over Luca’s face before he recovers.
Holly has yet to say anything to me, opting to survey me with a cool expression.
Her light green eyes seem to be assessing every move I make, but there’s an emptiness in them, too.
She catches me looking at her and bows her head, some of her blonde hair falling forward with the movement.
“Ivan has told us about the…circumstances that you have found yourself in. I’m sorry for your loss, too. I’m sure this is a lot to take in,” Elle says.
“You would be right,” I say with a soft laugh.
Ivan cuts in, “I think the first order of official business is the announcement of your presence and new title. Before we begin that, though, I’d like to say that we work as a team here.
I cannot stress enough how we are your most trusted allies.
We all worked for your father and his family.
We are loyal to the throne and to you. Please reach out to any of us with any questions. We’re a family here.”
“Yes, we are. Luca here is a bit prickly at first,” Elle says, elbowing Luca in the ribs.
He flashes her an annoyed look. She continues anyway, “But he’ll come around.
We’re all devastated by the loss of the family, so we appreciate your patience with us as we try to wrap our minds around their untimely deaths. ”
Holly stands silently, wringing her hands but nodding.
After the introductions, we finalize the details of the announcement that will be formally sent out at the end of the day.
It takes about an hour to decide the wording and how much information to divulge.
Finally, we all agree on the message that will be sent out.
Luca stands to submit the document and message to the proper correspondents across the kingdom.
“Let’s take a break for now,” Ivan says. “Elle, would you like to escort Mae to lunch?”
Normally, I would feel uncomfortable having to be escorted anywhere. But truthfully, I’m relieved that Ivan has instructed someone to help me find my way around here. Otherwise, I would be utterly lost.
“Of course,” Elle says brightly. “Holly and I would be happy to do that.”
“That sounds great,” I say. “Before we head out, though, could I speak with you for a second, Ivan?”
“We’ll be just outside,” Elle says before she leaves the room, Holly following closely behind her.
Ivan stares at me, standing with his hands behind his back as he waits for me to speak.
“I wanted to ask you about my aunt,” I begin, but Ivan places a hand up as if to stop me.
“We need to discuss her, but I’m afraid that won’t be a short conversation.”
I swallow the questions. “Right. Is there time to discuss that after lunch? I’d like to visit her this evening. Would it be possible to have someone escort me to my house and my aunt’s house this evening?”
“Yes, of course. I’ll arrange for someone to take you. Let’s plan to meet back in my office after your lunch with Elle.”
I nod and turn to leave. Elle is waiting outside, just as promised. Holly is nowhere to be found, though. Elle notices me looking around and says, “She was close to the Princess. She’s having a difficult time. I told her it was fine if she didn’t join us for lunch.”
A flicker of jealousy flashes through me, followed instantly by shame. The jealousy is two-pronged: one for her relationship with the sister I never knew, and one for the way my sister was loved. Instead of Etta, her bastard half-sister was forced upon the Herd—soon to be upon the entire kingdom.
Shame quickly washes away my jealousy.
“Oh, of course,” I manage to say. “I’m sorry. Were you close with Etta?”
“No. Not like Holly was.”
Feeling like I shouldn’t press, I drop the line of questioning and follow her as she makes her way out of the library.
She leads us to the main kitchen. We grab some bread, butter, and an assortment of cheeses and toss it in a basket.
We leave the castle and head outside, finding a small table just off the main path.
“I’m surprised Ivan didn’t want to send anyone from the Royal Guard with us,” I say after I take my seat.