Chapter 5 #2
She stares at me for a second, most likely waiting for me to smile or give some other indication this is all one big joke. When I don’t, her arms drop to her sides and her eyes widen, annoyance now replaced by shock.
“Wait. You’re actually serious?” I bite my lip as I nod in confirmation. “Hold on.” She pushes past me and exits the office. I trail behind her, following her to the front of the store.
“I’m so sorry, but we have to close early today,” she says to a deer hybrid, ushering him from the store as politely as she can. Next, she turns to Ivan and Elle. “I’m so sorry, but—”
“They’re with me,” I call from behind her. “They can stay. They know.”
Cally turns away from them and flips the sign on the front door to Closed. She turns back to them, arms crossed again as she stares at Elle. “Who are you?”
Elle’s posture is straight, her tone official as she says, “My name is Elle. I am an advisor to the High Family.”
Cally turns her gaze to Luca next. Before she can ask, he says, “Luca. Advisor to the High Family.”
Finally, Cally turns slowly, eyes wide as they land on me. “Mother,” she swears, sinking into a chair by the window overlooking Main Street. I sit in the chair beside her and recount my conversation with Ivan.
Luca and Elle stand by the front door like silent sentries for the entire conversation.
“Well, I guess it’s safe to assume you won’t be pursuing things with Killan?” Cally asks after I finish telling her everything.
I snort. “Yeah, I guess there’s my way out of that relationship.” I sit back in my chair, that familiar ball of anxiety returning. “I have to talk to Willa.”
Cally lets out a breath as she leans back in her chair. “I can’t believe she knew the whole time.”
I nod slowly, lost in my thoughts as I think about speaking with her. I’m not sure which news was more shocking to me: King Silas being my father or Willa knowing he was.
Luca clears his throat, breaking the brief moment of silence. “Your Highness, not to rush you…But we must return to the castle before nightfall.”
Cally’s eyes widen at the official title. She stands, gesturing toward the door. “By all means, Your Highness, don’t let me keep you,” she says faux mockingly, her eyes twinkling.
I roll my eyes as I stand, pulling her in for a tight hug.
“Don’t forget about me when you’re in your castle,” she says, eyes still twinkling as she pulls away from me.
I give her a final goodbye before I lead Elle and Luca out the front door.
We head to an empty alley, then Luca creates the portal to Willa’s.
I step into the portal as Elle pulls me forward.
The whoosh of the portal reverberates through my ears but ceases as I step onto the gravel path that leads to my childhood home nestled in the tall pine trees.
My entire life has changed since the last time I was here, only a week ago.
Elle falls in step beside me as I walk down the path. “How do you think your aunt will respond to us showing up at her front door?”
I consider this. “She’ll probably be surprised at first. But she knew who my father was, and I would assume she’s aware that the royal family has died. I imagine she will be expecting it.”
We approach the house, and I immediately head toward the front steps, eager to see Willa, but Luca stops me.
“Mae, wait a second. You may think we’re being overly cautious, but I think it’s best if one of us goes first.” He hesitates before adding, “We’re not entirely sure if it’s safe. We have no idea if the people who hurt your father have been here or if they’re waiting inside for you.”
His words stun me. I hadn’t even considered that. Oh. Is this a trap? Is Willa lying in the living room dead as we stand here? Glancing toward the house, I ask, “Do you think…do you think Willa’s in danger?”
Elle speaks up, “I’ll go. You two stay here.”
He gives her a curt nod, and Elle steps to the front door, rapping her knuckles on the red door three times.
A moment later, the door flies open. Willa stands in the doorway, her long raven hair pulled back into a tight bun at the nape of her neck.
She glances down at Elle’s outfit, eyes narrowing as she notes the royal crest pinned to her chest.
I step forward. Her sharp senses don’t miss the movement, her eyes flying to me over Elle’s shoulder.
“Mae! What are you doing here?” she asks, a smile gracing her face.
She motions for us to come inside. Willa and I exchange hugs while Elle moves quickly and silently through the rest of the house.
She returns and gives a quick nod to Luca.
He disappears from the doorway, returning to his post outside.
“Willa, can we sit somewhere? Do you have any wine or anything to drink?” I ask.
She eyes Elle for another moment, then flits her gaze back to me. “Yes, yes, of course. Let’s go to the living room. You two go sit. I’ll grab drinks.” She disappears into the kitchen, and I lead Elle to the living room, offering her a seat on the well-worn fabric couch.
I glance at Elle, now feeling nervous about having this conversation with Willa.
I want to ask Elle to leave so I can have this moment alone with my aunt, but I don’t think she would leave if I asked.
She’s right not to; I have no idea how to defend myself if I need to.
Even though I know Willa won’t hurt me, Elle doesn’t.
Willa returns with three wine glasses and a bottle of rosé. She pours a glass for each of us, then sits down on the matching fabric loveseat across from Elle and me. I take a big sip of my wine, loving the way it slips down my throat and goes straight to my head.
“What’s going on?” Willa says. “Is everything okay?”
I study her for a moment, hating the apprehension I feel toward her. I’ve always loved Willa. But right now, all I feel when I look at her is distrust and anger. I take another sip of the wine and gulp it down, steeling myself for this conversation.
“I’m the High Princess,” I blurt. I watch her carefully. She just stares at me, frozen as she seems to search for the right words.
Finally, she says quietly, “Yes, I know.”
Even though I know she knew, her confirmation feels like another blow. Hot anger floods my senses. “What do you mean, you ‘know?’” My voice is deathly quiet.
Her body seems like it deflates. Her shoulders drop, and she takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Mae. I was going to. I thought I had more time. I thought—”
“No. I am twenty-five years old, Willa. I might, with a heavy emphasis on ‘might,’ accept that line if I were younger, but I’m twenty-five.
I know my mother is dead, but I could have at least gotten to know my father.
I could have known him for the last twenty-five years,” I say, hot tears prickling at the corners of my eyes.
“I know,” she says quietly. “You’re right. I’m so sorry.” She refuses to meet my eyes, her gaze stuck on the plush carpet at our feet.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask, my voice laced with desperation. Desperation for a life I could have had. Desperation for the life I once knew, now tainted by her betrayal.
She hesitates, then looks up at me with pleading blue eyes.
“Mae, you have to understand. Your mother asked me not to. When she found out she was pregnant with you, she knew there was a risk she might not survive the pregnancy. Fae pregnancies are dangerous. She knew she likely wouldn’t live to see you grow up, but she wanted you to have a real childhood free of the prison that comes with a royal title.
We both grew up in the court. It was not a childhood.
I tried so hard to honor her wishes and to give you that. ”
I’ve never felt so upset with her, with anyone. Willa was my protector, my mother, my best friend, and my only friend for most of my life. This…this feels unforgivable.
“What about my wishes?” I ask, staring at her. There’s nothing she can say to fix this, but a small piece of my heart yearns for her to say something that tells me she’s not to blame for this, that she’s not to blame for hiding me from my family.
She doesn’t say anything. She just stares at the damn rug on the floor.
“You know I was always curious about my parents,” I continue. “Why not give me the choice to know my father? My sister?” Every word sounds like a desperate plea. I hate it.
Her voice is small as she says, “I wanted to protect you. You were just a child.”
I scoff. “I haven’t been a child for over a decade. You’ve had so much time to tell me. I have no idea what I’m doing. You could have prepared me for this.”
Her hands twist in her lap. “You were never supposed to be in this position. I never imagined this scenario. If I knew, I would have changed the way I raised you. I was going to tell you about your father in a year or so and give you the option of getting to know him. Well, I kept telling myself I’d tell you in a year, then that year would pass by, then another. I was so scared to tell you.”
As much as I want to yell at her, I swallow the words. Instead, I grit my teeth and ask the only question that I can, “Why?”
She’s quiet when she finally answers. “I don’t know. I guess I was scared of how you’d react.” She seems ashamed. She should be. She might have raised me, which I’ll always be grateful for, but she also stole a life and a family from me.
I put as much steel behind my voice as I can muster and say, “That’s still not an acceptable answer.”
“You’re right,” is all she says, her eyes trained on the floor, refusing to look at me.
I’m not interested in hearing any more of this. I stand and leave the room, then storm from the place, the person, that was home for so long. Willa calls my name behind me, but I don’t turn back.
The walk back to the portal is silent as I will myself not to cry. The portal spits us out directly into my front yard, and I immediately head to the front door, desperate to be alone, to let loose the tears that have been threatening to spill for the last several minutes.
I burst through my front door, stopping myself from heading straight to my bathroom drawer. The cool kiss of my razorblade calls to me. My veins itch for the sting, for the bite of the blade against my skin.
No. Not today.
I collapse to the floor instead, my knees hitting the rough hardwood as I fall.
The pain is a welcome distraction from my thoughts.
I curl myself into a ball, feeling the hot tears as they stream down my cheeks.
My thoughts threaten to consume me as I think about Willa’s betrayal.
Although I never knew my father, I feel his loss all the same.
And now, I feel the loss of the only mother I ever knew.
The door clicks open behind me. The floors creak as someone lowers themselves to sit beside me and wrap their arms around me. It only makes me cry harder. Soft hands stroke my hair until my sobs subside. I take a deep breath and try to regulate my breathing back to normal.
“I’m with you,” Elle whispers.
I turn and collapse into her, my head resting in her lap. She continues to stroke my hair. With every stroke, exhaustion wraps itself around every bone in my body, closing its grip like a vice. I close my eyes and give into it, welcoming the sweet escape of sleep.
“Mae,” Elle whispers, startling me awake. “We should get back to the castle. The announcement will be made any minute, and we have no idea who knows where you live. It could be dangerous for you to be here.”
I sigh but push myself from the floor with a monumental effort that only the Mother could grant.
“Thank you,” I say, meaning it with every ounce of my body.
She smiles and whispers, “Don’t mention it.”
All I want to do right now is lie on the floor and fall asleep, but I force myself to stand and get moving. I grab my largest trunk and start shoving as many clothes into it as I can.
Luca is waiting for us outside and opens a portal as soon as we exit the front door. We step through it and leave my house behind, toward my new home.
Toward the High Court.