Chapter 4 Regrets
Veer’s parting words still played on his father’s mind a week following his son’s departure for the southern kingdoms. The moon was westering in the night sky as lazy clouds played hide-and-seek with the gibbous moon and a carpet of stars formed the Milky Way.
Tension still sat obstinate on his shoulders.
Bheesmala was aware he was the one to blame for his son’s current situation, forcing Veer into marriage with an Amaravathi’s princess all those years ago.
* * *
Seven years ago…
“Do you know why I have called you to Amaravathi?” Bheesmala asked his son, who paused while picking up a guava from a platter.
Veer’s eyes were sunken with fatigue, and Bheesmala briefly wondered if he had eaten that day.
Before he asked his son to meet him in the royal tent, he was told Veer was elbow-deep in conference with his captains.
His son had come to Amaravathi only a few days ago on his summons and already was taking over the plan of action for the war.
“How blunt do you wish me to be, Father?” asked Veer, raising his eyebrows.
“As blunt as you always are, Veer,” King Bheesmala said with a faint smile.
“Everyone thinks it’s because you need my help. I have built up a reputation as a worthy fighter. Naturally, you’d call for my help when things aren’t going as expected.”
The war with Amaravathi had lasted longer than they all had anticipated.
Bheesmala watched his only son with a shrewd gaze. “You say ‘everyone thinks.’ Does that mean you don’t believe that?”
Veer shrugged. “You’ve never needed me before.” And if there was a hint of resentment in his words, Bheesmala elected to ignore it.
“You’re right. That’s not the only reason I’ve called you here.” He paused, unusually reticent in initiating the discussion. “You know that talks have been in process between us and Amaravathi.”
Veer’s lip curled, his sharp gaze saying more than words what he thought about it. “Yes. I know that. And how are they progressing exactly? I’m not surprised. Talks with someone as headstrong as Amaravathi would be bound for failure.”
“Our advisors have put forth a proposition,” said Bheesmala, ignoring his son’s attitude. “The idea has merit, and I want you to consider it carefully before rejecting it. A lot of people on my council feel this is the best way to secure peace.”
“I am all ears,” said Veer, eyeing a platter of guavas again, his interest obviously lost. He reached for one.
“They want you to marry one of the princesses of Amaravathi.”
The fruit dropped from Veer’s hand as his eyebrows pleated over thunderstruck eyes and his body stiffened with an instinctive rejection of that idea. He seemed to wait for further clarification from his father.
Bheesmala sighed deeply seeing his response. “Please, listen to me, Veer. I am not saying you should marry one of them. But what harm can come from exploring that option? See if one of them might suit your fancy. After all, you don’t have anyone in mind for marriage, do you?”
“No. I don’t have one in mind,” said Veer, struggling to stop himself from snarling. “That’s because I don’t plan on marrying yet. If it’s the war that has you so concerned, then you can rest assured. I am making progress. Kalpeet’s fall is imminent.” Desperation laced his voice.
“It is not just the war, Veer,” said Bheesmala, exasperated.
“I am tired of this constant fighting. Tired of being from my family for months. Tired of names they call us, which I have to admit are just. I want Rajgarh to be safe and I need to stop bickering with our neighbors to do that. If marriage is the only way they can see us as someone other than foreigners, then it is something I must consider seriously.”
“So, you throw my freedom to the wolves?”
“Veer, for the last time, I am not asking you to choose your bride among them. I am just bringing a possible option, which was suggested to me before you. You don’t have to do it.”
Veer gave a bitter smile. “You know, I am prepared to do anything for the sake of our kingdom, so the argument that you don’t wish to force me makes no sense. You brought this deliberately to my attention, Father, knowing I’d be compelled to concede to your wishes.”
Bheesmala lowered his head, abashed; Veer’s observation halting his pacifying words.
His son was right. About everything. Bheesmala hoped to establish a relationship with Amaravathi through Veer’s marriage.
Making the war redundant, assuaging the burning guilt in his heart for the sheer number of lives lost. And if his son lost his freedom of choice, well, wasn’t it a small price to pay?
“I don’t understand, Father,” said Veer, frustrated. “We have won many wars and tithes from kingdoms before, suffered defeat as well. I have been offered marriage many times before as well. Yet at no time, you pressured me to make a decision, so why now? Why Amaravathi?”
Bheesmala tried to put his reasoning forth in a way that didn’t sound completely selfish.
“My own marriage to your mother was my choice. I fell in love with her. She was a chieftain’s daughter, and I strove to make myself worthy of her.
Building a home, a powerful kingdom, a dynasty.
It was all for her. Overtime, she fell in love with me too.
Our marriage is a deeply fulfilling relationship for the both of us.
Your mother isn’t just my wife, she is a queen, and I couldn’t have asked for a wiser, a more clever or able, person to be by my side.
“I wanted that for you, too, Veer. That’s why I haven’t asked you before.
But now… I haven’t seen you get attached to anyone.
You fritter away your life in magic and battles and trivial pursuits, taking little interest in anything else.
I am beginning to wonder if I am waiting too long.
If you will ever find someone worthy of loving. ”
“Why this kingdom, though?” asked Veer, still puzzled.
“Why not Amaravathi? It is a prestigious kingdom, one of the oldest ones. People here are steadfast and loyal. I am sure any of Chandraketu’s daughters will make a good wife for you—should you choose to accept her hand.
I meant what I said, Veer. The decision is entirely yours.
If you say no, I shall accept it with no ill feelings. ”
“If you had ordered me as a father, I could have considered not obeying you,” said Veer slowly, as if the words were dragged out of him.
“But I am not just your son, I am, too, one of your subjects. You are my king, and the safety of the kingdom is one of my responsibilities. If you feel this is the best way to move forward, then yes, I agree. Loyalty isn’t a merit that belongs solely to Amaravathi.
I shall do as you wish.” The whole time, Bheesmala observed his son’s hand clenched into a fist.
“Veer, thank you. I shall instruct our negotiators to initiate the process.”
Making his way to the entrance of the tent, Veer stopped and turned around. “Have you made a choice about which princess you wish me to marry, Father?”
“That is entirely up to you, Veer. I won’t take away that much from you.”
Veer nodded and left without another word.
* * *
A soft hand adorned with many rings fell over Bheesmala’s, pulling him back to the present. The king relaxed at the familiar touch of his queen.
Queen Archana Devi was dressed in a saree made of expensive velvet. Heavy gold bracelets clinked as she adjusted the woolen wrap around her shoulders against the night chill.
“Sorry, Devi, have you been waiting for me long?” He instinctively moved closer, shielding her against the cold wind.
His wife smiled fondly and rested her cheek on his hand. “I missed your presence today. Why didn’t you come find me instead of worrying out here all alone?”
Bheesmala covered his wife’s hand with his own and drew it away, his fingers caressing the rough skin over her knuckles as was his habit.
The disfiguring scars were the reason she wore so many rings.
The sight of them pained him, so she had taken to wearing jewelry to keep them hidden, but nothing could lighten the heaviness in his heart when he thought of the reason why she had to suffer the injury.
Those scars were the reason for the distance between his only son and himself.
The reason he had sent Veer to his honorary brother-in-law for training when he was still a child.
Veer would never say anything, but it ate at Bheesmala at particularly vulnerable moments like now, when they disagreed on something.
His wife saw him watch the pale ribbon of road that led to the south. “Don’t worry, he will be fine,” she said. “He has gone into worse scrapes before.”
As usual, she was able to intuit the reason for his unease.
“I ordered him to rescind the princess’s punishment and bring her here, to assume her rightful place as the daughter-in-law of Rajgarh,” said Bheesmala, looking at his queen for answers.
“What if I am making another mistake? You know how hard he took the death of his friend. Now he’s going to bring that murderer back into our midst. I’m afraid of how he will handle it. ”
“Veer isn’t an inexperienced green lad, my dear,” she said. “He is and has been an adult even before he became one. Trust your son to do the right thing.”
They both descended into a comfortable silence. Archana Devi spoke after a while. “We should have overridden his sentence a long time ago. It’s barbaric.”
“It’s the law,” said Bheesmala pragmatically. “In fact, the punishment was decreased to mere whip lashes because of the princess’s status. Anyone else would have been put straight to death for murder.”
“It certainly didn’t do his reputation any good, subjecting a woman to such harsh punishment.
He never got rid of his unfortunate epithet.
” She blew out a breath. “Our people love him well enough. But he isn’t just going to be a king, he is going to be an emperor.
He needs to know how the rest of the Saptavarsha works and gain their respect. ”
“I admit he can be blind to the traditions and customs of the people on the subcontinent,” said Bheesmala, feeling defensive on behalf of his son, but also understanding that she had a point.
“It’s partly the reason we wanted him to wed an Amaravathi’s princess, so she could serve as a bridge and soften his image.
Alas, how I wish he had chosen anyone else other than Princess Chandrasena. ”
“On the contrary,” said Archana Devi, joining her husband at watching the road, “something tells me that Chandrasena is exactly what Veer needs.”
Bheesmala didn’t even bother disputing his queen’s observation, settling instead for a safe noncommittal noise.
A few years ago, he remembered his wife had tried to get Veer to relax his stance regarding the princess, giving up only when their son had started to distance himself.
He could label it as having a soft spot for the much-maligned princess, but…
Bheesmala knew his queen wasn’t a naive bleeding heart.
As the former spymaster of Rajgarh, she tended to know more information than most. But she also had this annoying habit of keeping secrets and suspicions to herself, until she had all the details.
“There is another thing that bothers me, Devi,” he said, turning to her, revealing another source of his worry. “If the legend of Meru is well known in the south, why are we just now finding out about it?”