Chapter 39 A wrong that had gone for too long #2
“Well, I had to try, and it worked out in the end, so what’s your problem?” she asked, facing him once more.
Her words finally snapped the restraint he placed over his temper . “Because you are piss poor at hand combat, because I am far stronger when Ilavu takes over, and the fact you won is only by sheer dumb luck.”
“Are you actually upset that I won our skirmish?” asked Chandra, affront shimmering in her eyes.
“I’m angry that I came close to killing you!
” shouted Veer, abandoning all pretense of having a civil conversation.
He dragged her closer, wanting her to see the fear that he felt in that moment when he saw the demon’s, no, his own hands squeezing the life out of her.
Helpless to stop. He hadn’t felt that kind of fear since his childhood.
“I could see everything, trapped inside my mind, but unable to do anything about it,” he said, sounding haunted.
“I would’ve never forgiven myself if something happened to you.
I should’ve known the moment I couldn’t use my powers, the moment I found the red ring had disappeared, something like that would happen.
That he would wake up. I should’ve told you the truth and warned you to stay away. ”
“I thought you said you weren’t angry?” she asked, her eyes wide and deceptively innocent, but he saw the twitch of her lips. Here he was trying to impress upon her how dangerous he could be, and she was laughing at him.
Veer clenched his jaw shut, his mouth compressed to an angry line, the maelstrom of emotions morphing into a need so acute and sharp, it nearly brought him to his knees.
He raised his hands from her shoulders as if they burned and waded away from her.
Another moment and he would end up crushing her in his arms, never letting go, forgetting the word he had given her about not demanding husbandly rights.
It was useless to pretend he didn’t want her. Had always wanted her.
“Weren’t you going to help dress my wounds?” she called.
Her taunt tensed his back muscles as he debated leaving, but duty won, and he sighed deeply, summoning fortitude as he reluctantly turned back to tie up the last of the bandages, working in merciful silence. “Do you have wounds anywhere else that need treating?”
“Uh…I don’t think so.” Chandra spun around and tilted her head to look at him.
“Are you sure?” he asked seriously, a perverse streak in him, pleased when her eyes widened at his question. “Maybe I better check myself.”
She suddenly seemed to remember her own state of near nakedness and shrank from his outstretched fingers. “No! I…I’m sure.”
“Very well, then,” he said with fake disappointment, turning away.
“Veer?” she said softly. “When are you going to tell me about Ilavu? What does he have to do with your ring?”
Veer became motionless. He forced himself to relax and answer her very valid question. “I guess you deserve to know after everything that has happened. And why not? It’s not like you can hate me any more than before.”
Veer stepped out of the pool and found dry twigs to start a fire. He didn’t answer her for a long time. Finally, he sat on a boulder by the fire, elbows over knees, and started to speak, his voice gruff but poignant.
“My arm…my left arm specifically, doesn’t belong to me.
I lost mine six years ago, deep in the mountains of Vindhyas.
Fighting a demon named Ilavu. A being thought to have passed away long ago until the fateful day I found him.
After that meeting, we both were heavily injured and near death.
Ilavu’s physical body had died, but his soul, with its spiritual strength and magic, attached itself to my arm.
It ensured that I, and a small part of the rakshasa, lived. ”
Chandra took her seat opposite him, wearing her still wet clothes. The breeze and the hot air from the fire were drying them fast, but for now they still stuck to her skin. For the first time since he met her, she commanded no part of his attention, his mind entirely on the past.
“Most of the time, he remains deeply immersed in my psyche. Occasionally he ventures out. But the only way to control him during these random times is with the red ring. It suppresses his nature, allowing me greater control of his powers without interference from his will.”
Chandra’s eyes steadily widened as Veer told his tale. “And what’ll happen if you take the ring off?”
“You saw what would happen.”
“Have you tried getting rid of it?”
Veer nodded, looking up at her concern-filled eyes.
It was the same sort of look his family and friends had been giving him, ever since they knew about the incident with Ilavu.
“Short of getting my arm chopped off, and even then, I can’t be sure his spirit wouldn’t reattach itself to a different part of me, there is no other way. ”
“But how can you live this way? To have the will of another person imposed on your actions. It’s horrible,” she said, and shivered.
Veer didn’t think it was a cold-induced tremble, remembering her words from before. When she seemed to imply that Virat had used his powers on her. At that time, he didn’t want to dig too deep, but now he wondered what happened exactly.
It was an awfully taboo thing to usurp another person’s will.
“It happened only once, Princess, before I knew what happened to Ilavu’s spirit, before I got him under control. It hasn’t happened since. The red ring ensures it. Although it is similar to mind control, there are still some subtle differences.”
Chandra sat dazed at his explanation. Veer’s lips curved ruefully, seeing her expression, but there was an edge of resignation to it. “I know you probably didn’t ask for a husband who is possessed by a demon…”
“Why you? Why did it happen to you in the first place?” she asked. The firelight picked up the brown depths in her eyes and made them look twice as large. And twice as somber.
“Probably because of my own hubris.” Veer shrugged as he poked at the fire, not meeting her eyes, afraid he would pick up the disillusionment and censure.
“After Virat died, I went through…a phase. We were practically brothers. We grew up together. Except for Vihari, he was my oldest friend. And I…just couldn’t accept that he was gone forever.
So, I started thinking of ways I could get him to come back. He would’ve done the same for me.”
“I don’t understand,” she said. He heard her confusion and pictured the frown pulling her eyebrows together. “How could he come back? He is dead.”
“I know. I wanted to resurrect him.”
“What!”
“I told no one,” said Veer, still avoiding her eyes.
“I searched obscure texts, ancient writings, talked to sages and tantrics, anything and everything I could get my hands on. It was a slow start because toward the end, I’d almost given up learning new magic.
I was immersed in wars and learning ways of governance and had left that part of my life largely to Virat.
But I did manage to find rumors of a magical being.
One said to live in the inaccessible hot springs of the Mathrika Mountains.
Unfortunately, Ilavu wasn’t inclined to give up his secrets. ” Veer paused. “He still isn’t.”
Veer glanced up when the silence stretched without any response from her and caught her pallid face. She looked as if she had seen a ghost. “Don’t worry, Princess. It won’t happen again.”
“Trying to bring someone from the dead is…a crime against nature,” she whispered, running trembling fingers over her mouth, unable to hide her shock and worry. “Without death, life has no meaning. It is one of the core tenets of our teachings in Amaravathi. Has no one explained this to you?”
“As you said, your teachings, Princess. Not mine.” The disappointment in her eyes scored over his skin like a whiplash.
Veer glanced away, telling himself he should have expected it.
Chandra had a strong code of right and wrong and she wasn’t inclined to see the world in gray shades like he did.
King Chandraketu did try to warn him all those years ago.
“You risked your life for someone who is dead and gone. Someone who didn’t deserve it.”
Veer met her eyes again. “Careful, Princess,” he warned. “Virat was my friend. The dead deserve respect. I admit there is a possibility he may have used his powers on you, but that was not the sum total of the kind of person he was.”
“No. You’re the one who doesn’t know the kind of person he was.” Her voice had gone thick, and her eyes welled with moisture. She appeared like she was about to cry. “And I’m the one at fault for hiding the truth from you all these years.”
“I’ve known Virat all my life, and you saw him for what…a few minutes? What would you know?” he asked quietly, even though her reaction confused him.
“I didn’t need long to determine the kind of person I was dealing with, when he was about to kill my friend. What’s even worse, he had tried to get me to kill her when she was pregnant with his own child.”
The silence that fell reverberated with aftershocks of a thunderbolt.
“I think it’s time you tell me what exactly happened that day,” said Veer through bloodless lips.