Chapter 10
My cuticles know no mercy as I wait for someone to bring Lex on the other side of the booth. I nervously pick on them under the tablet as I rehearse what I’ll tell him. I have to be clever about this.
Part of me doesn’t want him to know what I’m doing, or he’ll try to make me stop—force me to.
But having that hope, that light at the end of the tunnel, might be what he needs to stay strong.
Just like me, he’s probably losing faith in the trial.
His lawyers update him regularly, so he’s aware it doesn’t look good.
But if he knows I’m working on the side to get him out …
If he knows, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that I’m never abandoning him …
Then maybe he’ll find it in him to stay strong. To survive this.
Even just to scold the shit out of me once I get him out.
When he arrives, my heart jumps at the sight of him. I’ve been so worried I might never see him again that seeing his familiar face feels miraculous. The bruises on his handsome features are nearly healed, and the cuts on his upper lip and eyebrow are down to small, pink scars.
His expression as the guard sits him down in front of me is completely closed off. It’s as though the light within him is gone, blocked by his walls—which are all the way up. I hurt him, and it’s only fair he’d shield himself like this, in case I do it again.
I pick up the phone first, and a couple of seconds later, he takes his.
“I thought you weren’t coming anymore,” are his first words.
“I changed my mind. I still won’t come as much, but I thought I should at least come today. How have you been?”
He doesn’t answer, but the weariness in his gray eyes is telling. This place is taking a toll on him, on his mental state, on his physical health, on his complex mind … He has to get out, or prison will destroy who he is.
Moving my free hand from my lap, I casually rest it on the counter, revealing the ring. To show how involved I still am in him, in us, I took my abuela’s ring out of the box and slipped it on. This small, casual clue is one only he will catch. No one can understand how much it means but him.
His gaze immediately locks onto it, doubt making his eyebrows twitch.
“To answer a question you didn’t ask yet, yes.
” I pause, long enough for him to get my point but short enough for no one else to catch on, “I can’t come as much as I used to because I’m working hard on my future—the only one I’ll ever want, the one we talked about so often.
” To others, this can mean anything. But he knows exactly what future I’m talking about.
Ours.
The gears in his mind spin, awakening from their slumber. His eyes aren’t as dull as they were when he arrived. On the contrary, they’re as sharp as razor blades. “Andrea, what are you doing?” he asks, his tone somewhat imperative.
“Whatever I need to, Lex. I’m ambitious, so I’ve been branching out. Diversifying my portfolio, learning new skills. Staying at your place helps. I get to have the resources I need and uninterrupted days of work and learning.”
“You can’t do this.”
“But I can. You taught me so much, Lex. Including the fact that I deserve the best. And I won’t rest until I have it. Right now, it means focusing on my future. Which is why I can’t be here every week anymore.”
“Andrea,” he warns. The disapproval in his eyes is impossible to miss, his expression condemning. But I ignore it.
“I knew you’d understand. I’m sorry, Lex, and I hope you’ll forgive me one day.”
“Andrea, don’t,” he commands.
“I love you,” I profess, three last, poignant words before I hang up.
He shouts my name loud enough to breach through the tempered glass, and I steel myself. I knew he wouldn’t like this. Knew he’d want me to stop.
But at least he knows, now. He knows I’m staying away so every waking hour of my days can be used to get him out of here.
If he breaks up with me over it, over putting myself in danger to save him, then so be it. All that matters is that he comes out safe and alive.
Oli drops me off in front of Lex’s building.
I thank him profusely for doing this, for allowing me to see Lex and put his mind at ease—to some extent.
Then I send him to his girlfriend, who’s growing impatient to see him.
Or I imagine she is, since his phone receives several messages during the second half of the drive, Mario Kart-themed notifications punctuating the drive to Seattle.
Feeling better than I have all week, I greet Bertrand, the doorman, with a smile. I step into the building, and as I walk to the elevators, someone calls out my name. “Andy!”
I turn around to find Kevin there, walking up to me. It looks like he was waiting for me in one of the armchairs in the lobby.
“Hey,” I say when he reaches me, confused. “What are you doing here?”
“I, uh …” He lowers his voice, eyeing the camera in a far corner of the spacious room.
“Lex called his lawyers, so he could have his attorney-client privileges and no one listening in, then his lawyers called me, told me to redial them because the ‘connection was bad,’ which I took as a hint to use the burner phone, and they asked me to come here to let you know Lex wants you to stop whatever it is you’re doing. ”
Looks like Lex kept himself busy after I left. “Wow, that’s … convoluted,” I note.
“Very. Lex didn’t want to risk it.”
“I appreciate him doing this, and the lawyers, and you for coming here, but I know what I’m doing.”
“Although I’d never admit it to his face, Lex is nearly always right, doll. And if he says you should stop whatever it is you’re doing, you probably should.”
“Hm, he isn’t my boss anymore, so I don’t have to obey.”
A grin twitches at the corner of his mouth. “Resigning was a bad move on his part.”
The humorous moment quickly returns to seriousness, and after some seconds have passed, I ask, “Will you try to stop me?”
“Actually, I was about to ask if there was anything you needed help with.”
There’s something in his eyes I haven’t seen there in a while. A glimmer of hope. Contrary to Lex, he believes in me. He’s convinced I can do whatever I’ve set my mind to. And this small show of trust is something I needed more than I realized.
“Thank you, Kev, but I’m not dragging you into it. You have a beautiful baby girl and a wife who need you. I’ll handle it myself.”
I don’t bring up Oli because there’s no need to. This thing needs to stay compartmentalized. The fewer details are out there, the better. “Do you want to come up for a coffee?” I offer him.
“Coffee? Don’t you hate coffee?”
I grimace. “It’s growing on me.”
He chuckles. “Thank you, doll, but I’d better get home. I’ve been waiting here for about an hour. Shell will start worrying.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“It’s all good. Anything for Lex.”
“Same.” I smile.
We exchange a warm hug, during which he says, “Come visit us sometime, yeah? Have dinner with us.”
“I’ll let you know when I can.”
He lets me go to look down at me with appreciation and what looks like pride. “I’m here if you need me, okay? Remember that.”
“Will do. Say hi to Shelly and Maddy for me.”
“Will do.”
I stay there and watch him leave. I wait until he’s completely gone to walk to the elevators.
My secret operation is slowly becoming common knowledge, which isn’t how I envisioned it. But for now, I can take comfort in the fact that everyone who knows is solid. The word won’t spread. They’re all devoted to the cause.
Ihaven’t been to the apartment I share with Tammy in about three weeks. But I need a few things from my room, which is why I’m here. Then I’ll let Oli know I’ve found something, something big, and that we need to meet up to brainstorm.
I’m very close to starting work on the heist, familiar enough with Nammota’s past work to impersonate him, confident enough about my hacking skills to pull it off.
Well, I’m nowhere near as good as him, but I’ll learn on the job, right?
And in a few weeks, by the time I’m done preparing everything, I should be good enough to fool everyone.
Or at least the people I need to fool. There’s a code of honor among the hacking community, and I don’t think any of them will snitch if the heist isn’t as flawless as Lex would make it.
The key easily turns in the lock, and I enter the place that used to be my home. It feels like months have gone by since I left to live at Lex’s, not weeks. Probably because my days have been long and busy.
Two steps into the hallway that leads to the common space, a sound reaches me. Shit, I should have let Tammy know I was coming by. Before I can worry about it, another sound. A moan. A loud moan. Fuck. She isn’t alone. And she sounds very busy. Blissfully busy.
A childish giggle bubbles up in my chest, despite my attempt to quench it.
While I lived here, Tammy rarely brought men home, but enough for me to notice she’s very vocal in bed—possibly because she can’t hear herself.
But it was never this intense. Even from where I stand, I can tell they’re in her bedroom, and the door is closed.
But they might as well be in the living room with how loud she is.
Should I leave and come back? Ugh, the thought of wasting an hour on this bothers me, so I decide against it. I’ll get my stuff and scoot. She’ll never know I was here. I gather myself for a second and discreetly kick off my shoes.
When I arrive in the living room, I can’t help but notice clothes scattered all over the place. A pair of men’s jeans, a T-shirt, a blouse, a thong … It looks like the fun started here before moving on to Tammy’s bedroom.
By the time I reach mine, I can’t help the twinge of envy that gnaws at my core.
Homegirl is getting railed in there, and as happy as I am for her, I miss when it used to happen to me.
Headboard banging on the walls, flesh slapping, irrepressible moans and cries flying around … Exactly like what’s going on in there.
“Focus, idiota,” I mumble to myself.