Chapter 25 #3
“It’s my grandmother, Lex. She raised me and has been an important part of my life for as long as I can remember. This isn’t negotiable.”
“I’m not letting you go there,” he decides, coming between me and the door. “This is an obvious trap, and there’s no way in hell I’ll let you walk right into it.”
“I don’t care if that’s exactly what that skinhead asshole wants. I’m going. Either you come with me, in which case I will abide by whatever security measures you want to take, or you can stay here and do whatever the fuck you want, Alexander.”
“I’m not letting you leave this house, Andrea. I’m not letting you risk your life for this.”
“For this?” I repeat, appalled.
He passes a frustrated hand through his hair. “Fuck, that’s not what I meant.”
“This is my family, Alexander. Maybe you wouldn’t give two shits if it was someone from yours, but I care about mine,” I spit out.
The words come out so much harsher than I meant them, but by the time I realize that, it’s too late to take them back. Lex looks down at me with hurt in his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I quickly say. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
He doesn’t answer, still barring the door with his body.
Genuinely, I’m sorry to have hurt his feelings, but my abuela might be dying.
The woman I’ve looked up to my whole life, the one I want to become when I grow old, is battling for her life.
I’ll be damned if I’m not by her side as soon as humanly possible.
For the third time, I move toward the door, but once more, Lex stops me. When I try to shove him out of the way, he grabs me. “Get your hands off me!” I shout.
“Andrea, calm down.”
Fuck, I hate feeling this puny and helpless. Why won’t he fucking let me go? “I need to go! I need to see her!”
“You’re going to hurt yourself. Stop this!”
“It’s all my fault,” I sob, breaking down into shreds. I knew I was in mortal danger, but my consideration didn’t extend to my family.
My body gives up as tears shake me, flowing down my cheeks. Lex prevents my fall as I turn limp, gently accompanying me down and sitting on the floor with me. His restraining hold turns comforting, and I shove my face into his chest in an attempt to muffle my cries.
“I did this to her. She’s there because of me. We should have known. We should have protected them …”
“From now on, we will. I promise. But we can’t go. It’s too dangerous.”
“I need to go, Lex. I have to see her before it’s too late. If she dies and I never went, I’ll never forgive myself.”
Completely submerged in agonizing guilt, I allow myself to cry in his arms. I should have told them the truth about the attack. I should have told them it wasn’t some random mugging gone wrong. Had they known Lex was targeted, they might have been more careful, more attentive to everything.
I barely called her in the past two months. Four times at best. I’ve been the worst granddaughter ever, out of some stupid notion she’ll be here forever. But now she very much might not.
“You can’t force me to stay here,” I say, trying to push away from him. He doesn’t allow it, his muscular arm keeping me prisoner. Just like that, he proves that he can indeed force me to stay.
One of his hands lifts my face to meet his eyes, and he soothingly grazes my hair back, pressing his lips on my exposed forehead. “I understand your pain, Andrea. But please, let’s be rational about this.”
“There’s nothing rational about our lives anymore. Like I said, I will abide by whatever rules you come up with, but I have to go, Lex.”
“Andrea, please. I—”
“No, you don’t get it. I did this to her. She’s one of the people I love the most in this world, and I did this to her. I need to see her, to know she’ll be fine, to apologize …”
“What you need is to realize how risky that would be.”
“I do. I realize. I’m still going. And if you prevent it and she doesn’t make it … Lex, I’ll blame you forever.”
He doesn’t answer right away, and I slowly calm down, tucked in his comforting embrace.
I want him to come with me, of course. But if I have to slip past his vigilance, get into the Jeep, and head south behind his back, I will.
The terrible relationship he has with his family doesn’t allow him to understand why I need this so badly.
“Give me an hour,” he eventually bargains. “I’ll see what I can do to ensure our safety.”
“You promise you’ll let me go?”
“As much as I hate it, yes. And I’m coming with you. You can shower, change into fresh clothes, and repack that mess. But give me that hour, please.”
“Alright,” I agree with a slight nod.
I can’t move quite yet, which he must sense because he doesn’t try to stand up. I’m still crushed under the weight of guilt. “I’m sorry for what I said about your family,” I whisper.
“You were right. I wouldn’t rush to Dallas or New York for them.
Not if it means putting you in danger. But I know who you are, and how you are.
You love deeply, and that’s one of the reasons I love you so much.
I fucking hate that you’re putting us in this situation, but I can’t condemn this side of you because it’s now inconvenient. ”
“You’ll keep us safe,” I offer as a consolation, looking up at the hardened lines of his face.
“I’ll do the best I can.”
When I stretch my neck up, he complies reluctantly, laying a brief and cold kiss on my lips. Then, carefully, he stands up before helping me do the same.
“An hour,” he repeats. “Be ready.”
I nod and watch him leave, aware that I’ve put him between a rock and a hard place. And he doesn’t like that at all. That’s why I’ll comply with whatever rule he sets for us. I’ll be a paragon of obedience.
Anything as long as I get to see Maria Carmen before things take a bad turn.