Chapter 13 #2
‘No, you’re not.’ She busied herself packing her overnight bag. ‘You like being in control, I get it. New situations unnerve you. I imagine you’ve spent the last seventeen years holding things together and ignoring your own needs. Understandable, but not conducive to a stress-free existence.’
He was hit by a pang of guilt. ‘Please don’t think I’m complaining. I’d do anything for Connor, he’s my family, he needs me.’
‘Of course he does, just as you need him. The idea of losing him is terrifying, believe me, I know only too well how hard it is watching someone you love suffer and feel so helpless. I’ve experienced it enough times with Luisa.
Sometimes sharing the pain with someone who understands can be helpful. ’
‘Please don’t tell anyone.’
She stopped packing. ‘Is that what you’re worried about?’
‘Connor’s so sensitive about the whole thing, he’d be mortified if he knew I’d told you.’
She came over and rested her hand on his arm, close enough that he could smell the fabric conditioner on her robe.
‘I’d never tell a soul, you have my word.
But Connor’s not the only one affected by this.
Constantly worrying about another person’s wellbeing is exhausting.
You need an outlet too.’ He noticed she still had a flake of pastry balancing on her lower lip.
‘I have Hugh,’ he said, staring at her mouth.
‘And now you have me.’ She licked her lip and dislodged the flake of pastry. ‘You’re not sure whether that’s a good thing, are you? What do I need to do to prove I’m trustworthy? I told you about my ex leaving me, didn’t I? You don’t think that was humiliating to admit?’
‘I guess.’ It felt strangely surreal to be inside a hotel room wearing nothing but a robe, and almost chest-to-chest with another person also wearing nothing but a robe.
Especially when that person was incredibly attractive and was looking at him intently, her skin glowing, her eyes filled with compassion. ‘You said he left for a job?’
She sighed and returned to packing her things. ‘Not even a great job, a routine actuary job in Manchester. He felt like it was a step on the career ladder and too good an opportunity to pass up. He assumed I’d move up there with him, it never occurred to him I wouldn’t go.’
‘Of course you wouldn’t go, you’d never leave Luisa.’ He picked up his suit and shoes, and realised Elena was looking at him. ‘What?’
‘He never understood that. Strange that you do.’
‘You put family first,’ he said, with a shrug. ‘Same as me.’
She zipped up her bag. ‘Who’d have thought we’d have something in common.’
‘Shocker, I know.’ He opened the bedroom door. ‘Can I ask you something? Am I really a boring suit?’
She wheeled her case over to the door, smiling. ‘You weren’t last night.’
‘And today?’
She paused. ‘Jury’s out. We’ll see how you cope with the spa.’ With a wry smile she headed into the corridor. ‘So, how did this whole dating thing come up with Connor in the first place, what triggered it?’
They headed for the elevators, and he could already feel the pounding in his head increasing. ‘He met someone he liked. Really liked. I’ve never seen him so love-struck.’
Elena pushed the button for the ground floor. ‘What happened?’
‘Nothing. He missed his chance. He was afraid of showing her who he was, and admitting things haven’t been great for him lately. He feared she’d reject him if she knew about his mental health issues and what led to them, so he bailed before he got hurt.’
‘That’s sad.’
The doors opened with a soft ping and he stared into the abyss ahead.
As if sensing his encroaching panic, Elena slipped her arm through his and eased him forwards.
‘Focus on what you can control,’ she said, her voice reassuring.
‘The movement of your legs, your breathing, and the sound of my voice. Nothing is out of your control. You’ve got this.
’ She turned him to face her. ‘You were telling me about Connor.’
The doors closed and he could feel his pulse racing—it was like the walls were closing in on him. ‘I feel responsible for his insecurity. I don’t exactly take risks myself.’
‘It’s never too late to start.’ She held eye-contact with him. ‘And why are you so anti-relationships? Surely not just because of one bad experience?’
‘It was a doozy.’
‘Well, you’ll never convince Connor to be brave if you don’t lead by example.’
His palms were clammy, his neck prickling. ‘Hugh says the same thing.’
‘Hugh’s a smart man, you should listen to him.’ She squeezed his shoulder, her expression encouraging, as if he was being super courageous and not shaking like an abandoned wet dog. ‘How did you two meet?’
Danny’s mind tumbled back to his arrival in the UK and travelling by train from Heathrow to Oxford.
He’d never felt more scared in his life.
Everything looked so different, the roads were busier, the sky greyer, the sunlight less yellow.
His excitement had wavered, making him wonder if he’d made a colossal mistake in leaving his home country.
And then he’d arrived at the campus and headed into the grand hallway with all the other newbies, unaware his life was about to change.
‘First day of uni, Hugh was signing up students for freshers’ week.
He was loud and confident and wearing ridiculous yellow and blue striped trousers.
I’d never heard someone with an accent like his, I thought he was putting it on.
And then he heard my accent and slung his arm around me, kissed my cheek, and promised to look after me. ’
Elena laughed. ‘Love at first sight, huh?’
‘Bizarrely, yes. No one had ever been that demonstrative with me before, or been so comfortable showing affection. Hugh was someone I didn’t know I needed, and he’s someone I never want to live without.’
‘That’s quite the bromance, you know.’ She tapped his hand and nodded to the opening glass doors.
‘Ground floor. You made it. And I didn’t have to kiss you this time.
’ He must have looked surprised, because she rolled her eyes and half-pushed him out of the elevator.
‘Good to know it wasn’t that memorable. Thanks for that. ’
Was she kidding? He’d felt the same way when Hugh had kissed him all those years ago, as if a puzzle piece had slotted into place and filled a gap he hadn’t known existed.
And just as he’d felt then, he knew things would never be the same again.
He wasn’t about to admit that though—she already had the upper hand, she didn’t need any more ammunition.
He followed her into the spa centre, a calming space painted pale green and with soft music playing in the background.
The lights were dimmed, candles flickered in small alcoves spaced along the walls, and staff dressed in dark green tunics drifted from room to room like practised silent film stars, unobtrusive and serene.
Elena pointed to a laminated list on the counter. ‘See if anything takes your fancy.’
It was like reading from a menu in a foreign restaurant. He had no idea what a botanical facial was, or a shimmering body ritual—it sounded slightly satanic. ‘You mentioned a jacuzzi, can we start with that?’
‘You don’t want a melting body massage?’
He shook his head. ‘I don’t like being touched. Not by strangers,’ he added, when she raised an eyebrow.
‘Jacuzzi it is. I’ll meet you the other side of the changing rooms, you’ll find lockers inside.’
‘Have you been here before?’
‘No, but most spas are similar, although none quite as elite as this. I’m excited to try everything.’
He watched her almost skip away, admiring her ability to set aside her worries and enjoy the present. He could learn a lot from Elena Romero, he realised.
The changing rooms were virtually empty, and he stored his clothes away and followed the signs to the outdoor jacuzzi, passing a large sauna, the gym, and a huge sunken bath.
On reaching the outside, the sight ahead shocked him.
The area had been landscaped to look like the geothermal spas in Iceland, with protruding rocks, a waterfall, clouds of ice, and a series of small wooden bridges leading between the various pools of water.
The whole area was shrouded in mist, with steam drifting up from each pool like something from a mystical land.
Elena appeared from the changing area, her shocked expression indicating she was equally impressed. ‘Oh, heavens,’ she said, squeezing his hand. ‘I didn’t expect this.’
He stared at their entwined hands, unsure of what to make of such unabashed intimacy. Witnessing the wonder on her face made him smile, and it was impossible not to relish the moment.
‘Which one to choose?’ she said, looking around.
‘You decide.’
‘Let’s explore.’ She let go of his hand and headed over one of the bridges, looking over the edge and pointing out clusters of unusual flora. ‘This one,’ she said, reaching a sunken pool hidden beneath the rocks. ‘It’s nice and private. You’ll feel more secluded here.’
He wondered if she craved privacy too, a lot of women did, but when she dropped her robe and made her way into the water, showing absolutely no signs of feeling self-conscious in her skimpy bikini, he was left staring open-mouthed.
‘The water’s so warm,’ she said, twisting to beam at him.
He wished he could take a photo of that exact moment—the smile spread across her face, her arms trailing over the water, and the way she seemed so comfortable in her own skin.
Letting go of the rope handle, she slowly sunk below the water, like a graceful mermaid entering an enchanted sea.
Christ, his hangover was making him poetic.
Shaking his head, he removed his robe and joined her in the water, which was hotter than he’d expected and soft and slippery, like it was drenched in baby oil.